Granted, but the only opportunities you get to show off your new-found joking skills are at funerals where the last thing people want is to hear jokes.
I wish I could speak more than one language fluently.
"He’s a man way out there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine. And when they start not smiling back—that’s an earthquake. and then you get yourself a couple of spots on your hat, and you’re finished. Nobody dast blame this man. A salesman is got to dream, boy. It comes with the territory." Death of a Salesman
FelixLeiter ♀Staffordshire or a pubPosts: 1,286MI6 Agent
Granted, but all that comes out when you want to use your skills, is complete nonsense.
I wish I knew the identities of those people who write atrocious posts, or write in 1337 5P33K, etc..
First please explain what 1336 5P33K is/are.
Second, your wish is granted except that when you find out the identies of these people you discover that they are your familly which creates an infinite number of problems.
I wish that I was an oscar-winning film director.
"He’s a man way out there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine. And when they start not smiling back—that’s an earthquake. and then you get yourself a couple of spots on your hat, and you’re finished. Nobody dast blame this man. A salesman is got to dream, boy. It comes with the territory." Death of a Salesman
I wish I had my own personal pianist who went with me everywhere and could play anything. Oh and that I had a concert grand in an annex of my house.
Granted, but he goes with you EVERYWHERE including to the bathroom.
I wish that I could be James Bond for a day.
"He’s a man way out there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine. And when they start not smiling back—that’s an earthquake. and then you get yourself a couple of spots on your hat, and you’re finished. Nobody dast blame this man. A salesman is got to dream, boy. It comes with the territory." Death of a Salesman
1336 5P33K is Leex speak (?) and is one of the nerdiest things ever, and it's impossible to read!
Sorry, I don't undertstand. Is it some kind of computer talk?
Put simply, Leet Speak (1337 5p34|<) is a very specific type of "txt talk," or computer language. The idea is that anywhere it can, it uses numbers and symbols in place of letters. "Leet" actually comes from the word "elite," and it is written (or typed, rather) as "1337" (1 for L, 3 for E, and 7 for T). The word "speak" is typed as "5p34|<" (5 for S, 3 for E, 4 for A, and the symbols of | and < put together to make a K). Sometimes it's just typed as "5p34k" or "5p33k."
Once you've looked at it enough, you can get a feel for the similarities between the numbers used and the letters that normally make up the words, enabling you to skim read it, almost like normal writing (albeit, slowly and with difficulty). However, this is not to say that I type in Leet. In fact, I think reading it can be quite annoying at times. It's like reading really bad handwriting, only it's typed.
...Anyway, Bond Agent, your wish is granted, however, your agent is too good: she's constantly annoying you by calling to check in, making sure you're doing your job right.
Now for my wish... I wish viruses (of all kinds) would just disappear.
Granted, but she also keeps her promise to give you a good hiding!
I wish I could go back in time and prevent arguments/fights with family and friends from happening
"He’s a man way out there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine. And when they start not smiling back—that’s an earthquake. and then you get yourself a couple of spots on your hat, and you’re finished. Nobody dast blame this man. A salesman is got to dream, boy. It comes with the territory." Death of a Salesman
FelixLeiter ♀Staffordshire or a pubPosts: 1,286MI6 Agent
edited December 2005
Granted, but when you return to the future, you realise that their inside anger was released on killing each other.
I wish that I was the best of the best in which ever career discipline I ended up going into
"He’s a man way out there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine. And when they start not smiling back—that’s an earthquake. and then you get yourself a couple of spots on your hat, and you’re finished. Nobody dast blame this man. A salesman is got to dream, boy. It comes with the territory." Death of a Salesman
Granted, but every job has an extremely unlikely, however plausible hazard in which you could die from (i.e., if you're a programmer, your computer blows up in your face from electrical surges; if you're a businessman, you get hit by a bus on the way to work; etc.). Put simply, you die from whatever risk your job might have, and it happens on the day you start work...
Now for mine... I wish I had a year-supply of good (i.e., not moldy) cheese.
Granted, but you have so much cheese that you get sick of it.
I wish that I had more self-discipline.
"He’s a man way out there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine. And when they start not smiling back—that’s an earthquake. and then you get yourself a couple of spots on your hat, and you’re finished. Nobody dast blame this man. A salesman is got to dream, boy. It comes with the territory." Death of a Salesman
Granted but then you lose the ability to laught at all! (I agree, it's a great thread!)
I wish that I was as comically talented as some of the great comedians such as Richard Pryer, Robin Williams, Steve Martin etc...
"He’s a man way out there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine. And when they start not smiling back—that’s an earthquake. and then you get yourself a couple of spots on your hat, and you’re finished. Nobody dast blame this man. A salesman is got to dream, boy. It comes with the territory." Death of a Salesman
Granted but it's on Pay TV, which you are unable to afford.
I wish that I was a super hero.
"He’s a man way out there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine. And when they start not smiling back—that’s an earthquake. and then you get yourself a couple of spots on your hat, and you’re finished. Nobody dast blame this man. A salesman is got to dream, boy. It comes with the territory." Death of a Salesman
FelixLeiter ♀Staffordshire or a pubPosts: 1,286MI6 Agent
Granted, but this is real life and you get shot and die a slow and painful death, then your love runs off with the villian.
Comments
I wish I could speak more than one language fluently.
I wish I had a permenant tan!
I wish I could have everything go my own way when I wanted it to.
I wish my wishes would always be decently corrupted IMO.
I wish for a thousand more wishes!
I wish Christmas would hurry up and get here!
First please explain what 1336 5P33K is/are.
Second, your wish is granted except that when you find out the identies of these people you discover that they are your familly which creates an infinite number of problems.
I wish that I was an oscar-winning film director.
Granted, it's Alfred Hitchcock... (he's dead)
I wish I had my own personal pianist who went with me everywhere and could play anything. Oh and that I had a concert grand in an annex of my house.
Granted, but he goes with you EVERYWHERE including to the bathroom.
I wish that I could be James Bond for a day.
I wish I knew the truth about James Bond.
I wish I could get a good agent.
Put simply, Leet Speak (1337 5p34|<) is a very specific type of "txt talk," or computer language. The idea is that anywhere it can, it uses numbers and symbols in place of letters. "Leet" actually comes from the word "elite," and it is written (or typed, rather) as "1337" (1 for L, 3 for E, and 7 for T). The word "speak" is typed as "5p34|<" (5 for S, 3 for E, 4 for A, and the symbols of | and < put together to make a K). Sometimes it's just typed as "5p34k" or "5p33k."
Once you've looked at it enough, you can get a feel for the similarities between the numbers used and the letters that normally make up the words, enabling you to skim read it, almost like normal writing (albeit, slowly and with difficulty). However, this is not to say that I type in Leet. In fact, I think reading it can be quite annoying at times. It's like reading really bad handwriting, only it's typed.
...Anyway, Bond Agent, your wish is granted, however, your agent is too good: she's constantly annoying you by calling to check in, making sure you're doing your job right.
Now for my wish... I wish viruses (of all kinds) would just disappear.
All porn on the net vanishes.
i wish to make millions of mini fleming clones.
I wish I had a remote control aeroplane and helicopter.
I wish my Auntie would keepy her promises!
I wish I could go back in time and prevent arguments/fights with family and friends from happening
I wish I had 8 working AAA batteries.
I wish that I was the best of the best in which ever career discipline I ended up going into
Now for mine... I wish I had a year-supply of good (i.e., not moldy) cheese.
I wish that I had more self-discipline.
I wish I could play Billy Flynn in a production of "Chigago".
I wish I could stop rolling on the floor laughing about this hysterical thread.
I wish that I was as comically talented as some of the great comedians such as Richard Pryer, Robin Williams, Steve Martin etc...
I wish there was an All-Bond-All-The-Time TV channel.
I wish that I was a super hero.
I wish I could play my electric guitar properly.
I wish that I was able to scuba dive.
I wish that the general public appreciated Timothy Dalton more than they do.
I wish BBC would show "The Prisoner" earlier in the eveming in the US and not at midnight.
I wish I were a super ninja!