Everyone's raising some good points. Obviously, if Lissa lives, Adriana's abduction of Bond will have to be re-worked.
A thought I had was maybe Adriana and Obsidian scrub the plan to frame Bond with Lissa's death and instead decide to attempt to brainwash him into performing a nefarious deed for one of Obsidian's clients?
Plot idea: A member of a terrorist organization has contacted Obsidian to arrange for an insider to take control of an Indian nuclear missile to be launched into Pakistan, all for the sake of inciting wrath against India and garnering sympathetic support for extremists in Pakistan. Perhaps Obsidian knows that Bond is completely capable of pulling off a stunt and decides that he can 'kill' two birds with one stone by brainwashing Bond into pulling off the job. Bond can appear to be investigating a possible traitor with Daya, but secretly is infiltrating the Indian Nuclear Program for Obsidian. Suspicions are aroused and Daya is put in the quandary of killing Bond to foil Obsidian. This would also put her in a position to cross paths with her brother Cobra.
Anyway, this would give Obsidian and Adriana motive to keep Bond alive after the foiled 'smear' campaign of Lissa' murder.
This is an excellent idea, Daren. Having written my bit, I have done my best to incorporate this into it. I have taken Bond back to India, to Crucible Three, where Max plans to brainwash him into doing his dirty work for him. Delicious, there's no need to discard your ideas! If you still want the drama of MI6 chasing Bond as a traitor, we can still have such a thing. I've set it up so that one of Obsidian's contacts could "leak" such information into MI6, leaving a trail of evidence for Bond. Whether Bond actually does Obsidian's work or not, he would still be pursued by his own people (possibly Daya), leaving Obsidian in the back laughing at the fact that his enemies are doing his own work for him.
I'm not going to worry about the big picture anymore. I'll just write whatevr needs to follow the last contributor's entry. Otherwise it's too exhausting. So it's all good as far as I'm concerned.
Delicious, there's no need to discard your ideas! If you still want the drama of MI6 chasing Bond as a traitor, we can still have such a thing. I've set it up so that one of Obsidian's contacts could "leak" such information into MI6, leaving a trail of evidence for Bond. Whether Bond actually does Obsidian's work or not, he would still be pursued by his own people (possibly Daya)
What do you think?
Let's not forget the hard drive that Bond retrieved from VoxBrahma. At last mention, it apparently contained (manufactured) information that incriminated Bond.
Admittedly, the story's a bit bumpy, but it's not going to be perfect on the first draft. Some ideas will simply have to be set aside, not because they're bad ideas, but they just don't fit at the moment.
There was talk early on of not going down the Terrorism pah with this novel. Mister X is not a chaoticist hes a manipulator.
I think a major goal for him would be something like infiltrating Microsoft and getting the core code for the operating system - something that would give him unlimited access to much of the world's computer infrastructure. In the past he might have stolen the recipes for Coca Cola and KFC and extorted great sums of money from these companies to keep their secrets safe.
Im sure there are lots of other important industrial secrets/patents that Mister X could acquire to increase his power base.
I am reminded of Elliott Carver who rang Bond after he escaped from Carver's Newspaper in Hamburg - this showed with terrifying and elegant simplicity how powerful Carver is, being able to access any mobile phone in the world.
Admittedly, the story's a bit bumpy, but it's not going to be perfect on the first draft. Some ideas will simply have to be set aside, not because they're bad ideas, but they just don't fit at the moment.
This is an excellent point,Daren.Our tale will definitely be rewritten/revised before it's ever edited prior to publication.That said,by all means hold onto the good ideas;they might actually prove useful later on.And if that's not the case this time,they could prove to be very important in a future group novel.:)
There was talk early on of not going down the Terrorism pah with this novel. Mister X is not a chaoticist hes a manipulator.
You're right. We did discuss not utilizing terrorism. But I think it necessary to show that Obsidian's 'scheme' will put innocent people (and not just MI6 personnel) in danger. The nuclear missile angle was the first thing that popped into my head that would A) require someone with Bond's skills and involve Daya if it were to take place in India. The tension between India and Pakistan was an obvious motive.
Of course, terrorism isn't Obidian's motive. Obsidian wouldn't be involving himself because of politics, but should be doing simply for monetary gain...hinting at just how callous his greed makes him.
The terrorist angle can be easily modified. I was just trying to thinking of something a brain-washed Bond could do that would 'elevate' the risk by jeopardizing civilians.
Okay guys,I did my best.It's still VERY rough, but I really tried to incorporate elements of the currently suggested stuff for the plotline in the entry:
1)Obsidian tells 007 his goals.World control via extortion and knowledge.Typical world domination doesn't interest him.Surreptious control via extortion and secrets does,however.
2)007's been taken to Crucible 3 in India and while there has been brainwashed to do mischief at the Indian missile site(sending one of those weapons into a comparable one in Pakistan--as per Daren's idea.
3)Jari's been murdered with the unusual gun(for England anyway) 007 brought back from Finland and by one of Obsidian's moles in MI6 posing as Bond.As a result, 007's now a wanted man in Britain-as per delicious's idea.
There's probably WAY too much junk in my entry.I'll happily fix it as required.Just tell me.
One thing:I went back before writing this entry,in my previous entry I explained that 007 was already set to visit Obsidian on the following week in his role as David Somerset of Universal Exports--the supposed purpose being to engage Max Obsidian as a potential client(while snooping around).It's in M's dialogue in that entry.And I also further increased the size of the Obsidian family--two brothers and a sister.Again,that's in that entry.It's referenced here.
By the way,Max is half Greek and half Croatian.He may have been schooled in the UK, but not at one of the bigger universities.Maybe he was a troublemaker and was kicked out of Oxford and Cambridge.He can speak with a suitably impressive English accent but a minor trace of his native accent remains.
Side thought:I'm thinking that since Max is not a nice guy--but is in fact,the Bad Guy-- he may actually have played a major role in his family's massacre.For example,Max might've disagreed with his father and intentionally contacted Largo's attack team.Shipping drugs and being involved in world blackmail might've sounded pretty appealing to a 15 year old.He may have even wanted his family to die.But after seeing the massacre, the shock to his psyche was so great that he tried to erase his participation in this crime from his memory.But it's gradually returning and the guilt is enormous.
Perhaps at a certain level Max even knows what he did, but is trying desperately to be informed otherwise.
Just an idea.
Anyway,I hope some of this new entry is okay and can be useful.
I like where the story is going but I dont like the fact that Obsidian has revealed himself to Bond. i think he should impersonate a doctor and go straight into the hypnosis - but leave Bond a clue that he can use to retrace his steps after getting out of the Pakistan job. Mister X is a master of anonymity and disguise - I think he should only be revealed when Bond has him cornered like a rat at the end of the story. I think their meeting face to face should be tyhe climax of the novel - the reader should be kept on tenterhooks wondering if this is the occasion when Bond finally sees the villain etc. Perhaps Obsidian is wearing a ring with an obsidian stone while he impersonates the doctor which Bond spots. I think Bond should be forever wading through henchman after henchman trying to find Mister X who is constantly elusive and faceless to him until the very end.
At the very least if Obsidian does meet Bond I think he should be wearing a mask or disguise of some sort.
I also agree that seeing Obsidian in action as Mr.X works better than Bond meeting him without the disguise(although we know that Obsidian and X are one and the same).The unique black ring is in the scene,too.And that potentially destructive program Daren mentioned is now running in 007's office computer...
Another excellent entry, Willie! I particularly enjoyed the byplay between X and Adriana concerning Bond's torture.
Like delicious, I too prefer Obsidian keeping his identity secret. And I like the idea the mini-climax of Bond discovering Obsidian's identity. I can almost hear Bond as he points the gun at Obsidian... "It's nice to finally put a face to the grave."
Lissa has been resurrected - SlyFox's edits incorporated into my scene where she died before. I have pasted my version into a Word document in case we decide to kill her again. Mooohaahaa!
Speaking of changes,Delicious,I'm curious to know what you now think of the alterations I made to my most recent entry.
I noticed the addition of the hood and the ring. I must admit I had the idea that afterwards Adriana meets with dr pemberton and he reveals that he is Mister X and that the guy in the hood was a decoy.
I'm also pretty unsure about the obsidian token theme (which was my idea) - I think we can do better but not sure how. I think Max would be smart enough not to give his henchmen objects made from a substance bearing his name. Maybe we can come up with a more subtle way for Bond to identify Mister X.
I'm also pretty unsure about the obsidian token theme (which was my idea) - I think we can do better but not sure how. I think Max would be smart enough not to give his henchmen objects made from a substance bearing his name. Maybe we can come up with a more subtle way for Bond to identify Mister X.
"Vanity has its dangers" as Bond said to Fiona Volpe in TB. Would it be beyond Obsidian, who is an art collector, to give such egocentric gifts? I dunno.
I will say that I preferred Prowess's answer of 'He's the greatest!' I thought it was a perfectly subtle clue for Prowess to pass on, but without risking a bullet like Baker got. Prowess doesn't want to die at either Bond or Obsidian's hands, so his 'greatest' comment that you gave him, delicious, was an excellent one.
Thanks Delicious for putting my edits in! It's good to see that I've made a difference...
WG, your entry is great! I'll admit, it's much better than what I had written for it amidst the confusion about where to go next--it involved the very same, predictable "skimpy leather outfit" torture scene that you so eloquently denounced... As you can see, it was scrapped--I didn't even post it, I just left it up to WG to write. If anyone's interested in it, I can send it in a PM, sort of like a deleted scene.
As for where to go next, I don't mind the black obsidian token idea at all. In fact, it seems very Bond-like to me. Most villains have had their vanity hangups somehow. Scaramanga comes to mind: gold bullets anyone? How about the gold in Goldfinger--he wanted to rob Fort Knox! How conspicuous is that?? Villains like to let Bond know who they are, even if the idea is nuts. The only villains Bond ends up chasing are crazed, world-domination obsessed psychopaths--the kind that think they are invincible enough to lure Bond in. And that becomes their downfall.
...But that's just my two cents.
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
I too don't mind him having Obsidian "tokens" of some sort as they are indeed in keeping with the Bond cannon. I have to say I'm actually really pleased with how the story is coming on - there has been some great ideas and there is definitely a good cat and mouse scenario developing and the sub plots are all equally intriguing. So well done guys. Soon we will have to think about the "endgame" as it were so that we have something to work towards and of course we will have to resolve a few things along the way.
I am hoping we will be able to wrap up this tale about mid October - so then editing can start and the cover can be created - consequently Titles are another something we should now start to consider but not actually make a firm decision on.
If everything goes according to plan The novel will be complete in time for Christmas.
Here's a title idea that came to me - The Danger of Being Alive
...Since the crux of the story is identity theft, and the concept of using one's identity to perpetrate evil, all Obsidian needs is a living person to do his dirty work. On another level, it hints at the 'short life expectancy of a double-oh'
Speaking of changes,Delicious,I'm curious to know what you now think of the alterations I made to my most recent entry.
I noticed the addition of the hood and the ring. I must admit I had the idea that afterwards Adriana meets with dr pemberton and he reveals that he is Mister X and that the guy in the hood was a decoy.
I'm also pretty unsure about the obsidian token theme (which was my idea) - I think we can do better but not sure how. I think Max would be smart enough not to give his henchmen objects made from a substance bearing his name. Maybe we can come up with a more subtle way for Bond to identify Mister X.
These are definitely good points, but I kind of like the idea of Obsidian being vain enough to practically stick his middle finger in the face of authority with that ring.The Bond villains are always egomaniacs.
But,instead of the ring,what if Jari was killed in his flat in his library and as he lay dying he somehow managed to grab hold of a book with "Blackstone" in the title?I'm thinking of lawbooks,businesses and even a series of novels about a character named Blackstone.It'd be a dying clue pointing to Obsidian because Jari's killer talked too much before doing the deed.It's a reach.But it might be considered subtle.
Here's another thought--what if when Bond first meets Mr.X,instead of looking like an Oscar,Obsidian is made up to look exactly like 007's former friend Carter?(this'd be just for 007's edification)That'd be pretty eerie,I'm thinking.A dead man happily outlining his plans for an indirect world conquest.He still calls himself Mr.X, and there's no concrete image to associate with the name.Additionally,that'd help demonstrate X's abilities as a master of disguise.If enough people want,I'll make this change.
Frankly,I'm not sure about Obsidian being a master hypnotist since that might mean that he himself is immune from hypnosis.Then again,if Max is actually responsible,in some degree for the murders of his family--and that's in his subconscous--he might be seeking hypnotists to convince him otherwise.These efforts fail,and that's why he kills his therapists.
Again,just thoughts.
Thanks for the nice feedback,everybody. Much appreciated!:)
Speaking of changes,Delicious,I'm curious to know what you now think of the alterations I made to my most recent entry.
I noticed the addition of the hood and the ring. I must admit I had the idea that afterwards Adriana meets with dr pemberton and he reveals that he is Mister X and that the guy in the hood was a decoy.
I'm also pretty unsure about the obsidian token theme (which was my idea) - I think we can do better but not sure how. I think Max would be smart enough not to give his henchmen objects made from a substance bearing his name. Maybe we can come up with a more subtle way for Bond to identify Mister X.
These are definitely good points, but I kind of like the idea of Obsidian being vain enough to practically stick his middle finger in the face of authority with that ring.The Bond villains are always egomaniacs.
But,instead of the ring,what if Jari was killed in his flat in his library and as he lay dying he somehow managed to grab hold of a book with "Blackstone" in the title?I'm thinking of lawbooks,businesses and even a series of novels about a character named Blackstone.It'd be a dying clue pointing to Obsidian because Jari's killer talked too much before doing the deed.It's a reach.But it might be considered subtle.
Here's another thought--what if when Bond first meets Mr.X,instead of looking like an Oscar,Obsidian is made up to look exactly like 007's former friend Carter?(this'd be just for 007's edification)That'd be pretty eerie,I'm thinking.A dead man happily outlining his plans for an indirect world conquest.He still calls himself Mr.X, and there's no concrete image to associate with the name.Additionally,that'd help demonstrate X's abilities as a master of disguise.If enough people want,I'll make this change.
Frankly,I'm not sure about Obsidian being a master hypnotist since that might mean that he himself is immune from hypnosis.Then again,if Max is actually responsible,in some degree for the murders of his family--and that's in his subconscous--he might be seeking hypnotists to convince him otherwise.These efforts fail,and that's why he kills his therapists.
Again,just thoughts.
Thanks for the nice feedback,everybody. Much appreciated!:)
I like the idea of jari giving a clue as to Obsidian's identity but giving his life to do so. i was going to try the same thing with Lissa's death but abandoned it because I kept Prowess in the hotel room when Bond arrived.
I haven't been here in a bit (busy with some other things), but isn't it a wee bit too soon to have Bond become "public enemy" again, considering that was one of the main points of SOTP? I mean yeah sure, we can go with it and what not, and hey, if Obs knows THAT much about Bond, and has him hypnotized, there could be a thought of having Bond kill M again, but that's down a tangent of this point...
I know the goal is to avoid element repetition and all that, and I just thought I'd throw those two pennies out there as I get reacquanited with Novel 6
I haven't been here in a bit (busy with some other things), but isn't it a wee bit too soon to have Bond become "public enemy" again, considering that was one of the main points of SOTP? I mean yeah sure, we can go with it and what not, and hey, if Obs knows THAT much about Bond, and has him hypnotized, there could be a thought of having Bond kill M again, but that's down a tangent of this point...
I know the goal is to avoid element repetition and all that, and I just thought I'd throw those two pennies out there as I get reacquanited with Novel 6
If Bond is going to be hypnotised I think Mister X would use him to access more MI6 secrets, not kill M. Remember Mister X is a user, not a destroyer. Renard/Elektra King wanted M dead out of th need for revenge but Mister X is IMHO very together emtionally except for his identity crisis issue. I think he's a real cool customer - a real chess player. His blind spot is more likely to be envy than vanity (following on from previous recent posts) and he might envy Bond's strong personality and sure identity. "The name's Bond, James Bond" - unlike Obsidian, Bond knows who he is.
Ive been reading up on hypnosis and there is definitely a big difference between what real hypnosis can do and what it does in fiction.
Here's a suggestion of how Mister x might use Bond against MI6:
There are real drugs that induce total amnesia - I think Obsidian would use such drugs to wipe Bond's memory and then have him wake up in a fake hospital setting where actors would be used to persuade him that he had lost his memory. His name, he would be told, is Steven Dethman although he wont be able to remember this.
He would be told that he is working for the CIA and was knocked out during a fight which made him amnesiac. A fellow agent by the name of Prowess was killed in the same fight by a British agent called James Bond. The CIA, he would be told, have intelligence that suggests that MI6 is corrupt at the highest levels. Specifically, MI6 has developed new technology which could threaten the balance of world power. He, Dethman must infiltrate MI6 and steal the files which will be used to expose the corruption and also the plans for this new technology. Mister X will win either way - Bond will either succeed and deliver the files and plans to him or die at the hands of his own people.
I haven't been here in a bit (busy with some other things), but isn't it a wee bit too soon to have Bond become "public enemy" again, considering that was one of the main points of SOTP? I mean yeah sure, we can go with it and what not, and hey, if Obs knows THAT much about Bond, and has him hypnotized, there could be a thought of having Bond kill M again, but that's down a tangent of this point...
I know the goal is to avoid element repetition and all that, and I just thought I'd throw those two pennies out there as I get reacquanited with Novel 6
If Bond is going to be hypnotised I think Mister X would use him to access more MI6 secrets, not kill M. Remember Mister X is a user, not a destroyer. Renard/Elektra King wanted M dead out of th need for revenge but Mister X is IMHO very together emtionally except for his identity crisis issue. I think he's a real cool customer - a real chess player. His blind spot is more likely to be envy than vanity (following on from previous recent posts) and he might envy Bond's strong personality and sure identity. "The name's Bond, James Bond" - unlike Obsidian, Bond knows who he is.
X would have M killed in secret to replace with his own imposter M. From there *he* would run MI-6 until that fragile alliance between fake M and X is broken.
Of course, character shield would have M shot in the chest, nearly dying in the hospital, but eventually making a full recovery.
I also think that if X were to "use" Bond, he would also play both sides to a degree.
... and of course, Bond could voluntarily side with X, playing both sides as well. X has Bond set up his own trap which he somehow escapes
I think it important to remember that MI6 is not Obsidian's primary enemy. Obs is first and foremost interested in obtaining information that results in capital gain. While having the head of MI6 in his pocket would be quite the coup, would it seem a bit too far-fetched? It would seem to imply that Obsidian was grooming someone for that position for a looooooong time.
I envision Obs brainwashing Bond to use his 'skills' to pull off some scheme completely unrelated with MI6. In the Novel TMWTGG, Bond was brainwashed by the Soviets and sent to assasinate M. I don't think it's necessary to do the exact same thing.
As I see it,James Bond has been hypnotised to do one thing and one thing only:to launch a warhead from a nuclear facility in India into another one in nearby Pakistan.He is to kill anyone who tries to stop him, and if it looks like he might be captured,he is to kill himself.That's it.Should he manage to escape 007 will return to Mr.X to perform another mission of X's design.
This particular mission has absolutely nothing to do with trying to kill M.That is not Bond's mission.007 has not been programmed to kill anyone at MI6 or anywhere else..
The Pakistan mission 007 will be going on has yet to be determined by 007's allies in India, but the plan is that it will occur once Bond is again is teamed with Daya.Mr.X's people are patiently watching 007(who does not know that he's brainwashed) and will alert Mr.X to the time when 007 and Daya are in that region.To repeat,Bond is not aware that he is in a trance or programmed to react at a command from Mr.X.He is currently a sleeper agent,so to speak.He is now primed to serve Mr.X but once he awakens away from Crucible Three,Bond has no conscious knowledge that this brainwashing,this--redirecting of his subconscious--whatever one might choose to call it,ever happened to him.He's like The Mancurian Candidate.
Consequently,007 remembers nothing beyond his being gassed unconscious prior to being taken to Crucible Three.Probably all 007 currently recalls is Jennifer Smart--and she doesn't even exist.
Bond cannot possibly shake off this trance.And Bond will only go into action once he hears the keyword spoken to him by Mr.X.No one else can control him this way.A room filled with people shouting the special word will have no effect on him.The spoken command must come from Mr.X--and Mr.X alone.No one else.
So, HOW does 007 escape from this situation?
Well,here's what I'd do:
I)= I'd have 007 go to the facility with Daya and there attempt to launch the missile.Daya recognizes that Bond was behaving strangely beforehand--maybe he forgot something that once seemed so important to himself and Daya.Something personal that they shared.In an effort to stop 007,Daya shoots at Bond, but instead of killing him(she IS aiming directly for his head), her bullet only creases his skull.Bond is quickly spirited away--without fanfare of any kind-- and taken by Daya for treatment to a special clinic outside London and one secretly affiliated with MI6--run by the noted psychiatrist Sir James Molony,secretly a therapist to the Double-Os,and a close friend of 007's(this is a Fleming character).Once he awakens,James Bond's entire memory has returned.Everything is now clear as crystal.He recalls ALL of the events leading up to and including everything that happened before the brainwashing that took place at Crucible Three.Naturally,007's not happy with Mr.X.,and he now has an even greater motivation to kill this villain.
II)= As for that computer program now creating great mischief on 007's machine (and possibly all of the other computers in MI6 as well),surely Tom Prentice of C Branch(Cryptography) and his cohorts--especially the hackers brought in from Oxford and Cambridge and Eton and even out of certain businesses--plus those in T Branch(Telecommunications) and I Branch(Internet)can set things right.MI6 has a few geniuses working for them,after all.
III)= And there's still no proof Bond killed Jari.There's a gun with his fingerprints but the commission of the crime is unlike anything associated with 007's normal behavior.Scotland Yard might even see this as a plan to make an innocent man look suspicious.Let's remember that in at least 2 of the previous group novels written at AJB,that on occasion MI6 worked with the Yard.As a result,007 has his supporters there.Bond probably has an excellent lawyer as well, who can prove that 007 was not even in the country at the time Jari's murder took place.
Who IS the killer?Beats me, but he's a mole working for Mr.X.he's tall slim and possibly dark haired.A vague match for 007, but also for about a million other men,too.Maybe he's one of the office workers at MI6--he doesn't even have to be a Double-O.As Q noted,007 wouldn't have fired more than once if he was going to shoot somebody at close range.Perhaps Bill Tanner and Q can find this mole.
IV)= Then there's the dying clue Jari was able to leave behind:"Blackstone".Looks like Tanner's thinking about it right now...
Everybody,please understand that I'm NOT trying to tell anybody what to write--far from it.No one has to use anything I've mentioned.I'm certain that there are plenty of better ideas among the rest of the team members.However,these are just a few things I think might be useful.
Just to let you guys know - I am going on holiday tomorrow for three weeks, during which I will be unable to contribute to Novel 6. When my turn comes around you will just need to skip me out, and when I return I can write some extra if need be. Hopefully I won't miss more than one turn though.
See you in three weeks - I look forward to reading what you have written. . .
No one has to use anything I've mentioned.I'm certain that there are plenty of better ideas among the rest of the team members.However,these are just a few things I think might be useful.
All your points are excellent ideas, WG...and much along the lines that I was thinking. The one hiccup that I've been trying to reconcile is if MI6 is on the lookout for the missing Bond, we would need to have a reason for Daya, MI6's man in Station I, to not report what he's doing.
I had another thought about the launching of the nuclear missile from Pakistan...perhaps the client behind the scheme is China, and not Pakistani terrorists. It makes more sense for China to want to discredit a nuclear neighbor than for a terrorist to nuke their own country.
No one has to use anything I've mentioned.I'm certain that there are plenty of better ideas among the rest of the team members.However,these are just a few things I think might be useful.
All your points are excellent ideas, WG...and much along the lines that I was thinking. The one hiccup that I've been trying to reconcile is if MI6 is on the lookout for the missing Bond, we would need to have a reason for Daya, MI6's man in Station I, to not report what he's doing.
I had another thought about the launching of the nuclear missile from Pakistan...perhaps the client behind the scheme is China, and not Pakistani terrorists. It makes more sense for China to want to discredit a nuclear neighbor than for a terrorist to nuke their own country.
Thanks very much,Daren!I really like your suggestion--it's a big improvement on the earlier idea.You know,I don't want anyone on the team to think that what I recently wrote--which I'll admit puts 007 in a pretty difficult situation-- didn't also come with some escape hatches and potential subplots.Again,I'm not dictating a direction for the story to take--these are only my thoughts and what I might have done as a follow up to what's now written.
And anyway,speaking of exits,I'll be away from AJB for at least the first part of the coming week.
Comments
A thought I had was maybe Adriana and Obsidian scrub the plan to frame Bond with Lissa's death and instead decide to attempt to brainwash him into performing a nefarious deed for one of Obsidian's clients?
Plot idea: A member of a terrorist organization has contacted Obsidian to arrange for an insider to take control of an Indian nuclear missile to be launched into Pakistan, all for the sake of inciting wrath against India and garnering sympathetic support for extremists in Pakistan. Perhaps Obsidian knows that Bond is completely capable of pulling off a stunt and decides that he can 'kill' two birds with one stone by brainwashing Bond into pulling off the job. Bond can appear to be investigating a possible traitor with Daya, but secretly is infiltrating the Indian Nuclear Program for Obsidian. Suspicions are aroused and Daya is put in the quandary of killing Bond to foil Obsidian. This would also put her in a position to cross paths with her brother Cobra.
Anyway, this would give Obsidian and Adriana motive to keep Bond alive after the foiled 'smear' campaign of Lissa' murder.
What do you think?
Let's not forget the hard drive that Bond retrieved from VoxBrahma. At last mention, it apparently contained (manufactured) information that incriminated Bond.
Admittedly, the story's a bit bumpy, but it's not going to be perfect on the first draft. Some ideas will simply have to be set aside, not because they're bad ideas, but they just don't fit at the moment.
I think a major goal for him would be something like infiltrating Microsoft and getting the core code for the operating system - something that would give him unlimited access to much of the world's computer infrastructure. In the past he might have stolen the recipes for Coca Cola and KFC and extorted great sums of money from these companies to keep their secrets safe.
Im sure there are lots of other important industrial secrets/patents that Mister X could acquire to increase his power base.
I am reminded of Elliott Carver who rang Bond after he escaped from Carver's Newspaper in Hamburg - this showed with terrifying and elegant simplicity how powerful Carver is, being able to access any mobile phone in the world.
This is an excellent point,Daren.Our tale will definitely be rewritten/revised before it's ever edited prior to publication.That said,by all means hold onto the good ideas;they might actually prove useful later on.And if that's not the case this time,they could prove to be very important in a future group novel.:)
You're right. We did discuss not utilizing terrorism. But I think it necessary to show that Obsidian's 'scheme' will put innocent people (and not just MI6 personnel) in danger. The nuclear missile angle was the first thing that popped into my head that would A) require someone with Bond's skills and
Of course, terrorism isn't Obidian's motive. Obsidian wouldn't be involving himself because of politics, but should be doing simply for monetary gain...hinting at just how callous his greed makes him.
The terrorist angle can be easily modified. I was just trying to thinking of something a brain-washed Bond could do that would 'elevate' the risk by jeopardizing civilians.
1)Obsidian tells 007 his goals.World control via extortion and knowledge.Typical world domination doesn't interest him.Surreptious control via extortion and secrets does,however.
2)007's been taken to Crucible 3 in India and while there has been brainwashed to do mischief at the Indian missile site(sending one of those weapons into a comparable one in Pakistan--as per Daren's idea.
3)Jari's been murdered with the unusual gun(for England anyway) 007 brought back from Finland and by one of Obsidian's moles in MI6 posing as Bond.As a result, 007's now a wanted man in Britain-as per delicious's idea.
There's probably WAY too much junk in my entry.I'll happily fix it as required.Just tell me.
One thing:I went back before writing this entry,in my previous entry I explained that 007 was already set to visit Obsidian on the following week in his role as David Somerset of Universal Exports--the supposed purpose being to engage Max Obsidian as a potential client(while snooping around).It's in M's dialogue in that entry.And I also further increased the size of the Obsidian family--two brothers and a sister.Again,that's in that entry.It's referenced here.
By the way,Max is half Greek and half Croatian.He may have been schooled in the UK, but not at one of the bigger universities.Maybe he was a troublemaker and was kicked out of Oxford and Cambridge.He can speak with a suitably impressive English accent but a minor trace of his native accent remains.
Side thought:I'm thinking that since Max is not a nice guy--but is in fact,the Bad Guy-- he may actually have played a major role in his family's massacre.For example,Max might've disagreed with his father and intentionally contacted Largo's attack team.Shipping drugs and being involved in world blackmail might've sounded pretty appealing to a 15 year old.He may have even wanted his family to die.But after seeing the massacre, the shock to his psyche was so great that he tried to erase his participation in this crime from his memory.But it's gradually returning and the guilt is enormous.
Perhaps at a certain level Max even knows what he did, but is trying desperately to be informed otherwise.
Just an idea.
Anyway,I hope some of this new entry is okay and can be useful.
At the very least if Obsidian does meet Bond I think he should be wearing a mask or disguise of some sort.
I also agree that seeing Obsidian in action as Mr.X works better than Bond meeting him without the disguise(although we know that Obsidian and X are one and the same).The unique black ring is in the scene,too.And that potentially destructive program Daren mentioned is now running in 007's office computer...
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Like delicious, I too prefer Obsidian keeping his identity secret. And I like the idea the mini-climax of Bond discovering Obsidian's identity. I can almost hear Bond as he points the gun at Obsidian... "It's nice to finally put a face to the grave."
I noticed the addition of the hood and the ring. I must admit I had the idea that afterwards Adriana meets with dr pemberton and he reveals that he is Mister X and that the guy in the hood was a decoy.
I'm also pretty unsure about the obsidian token theme (which was my idea) - I think we can do better but not sure how. I think Max would be smart enough not to give his henchmen objects made from a substance bearing his name. Maybe we can come up with a more subtle way for Bond to identify Mister X.
"Vanity has its dangers" as Bond said to Fiona Volpe in TB. Would it be beyond Obsidian, who is an art collector, to give such egocentric gifts? I dunno.
I will say that I preferred Prowess's answer of 'He's the greatest!' I thought it was a perfectly subtle clue for Prowess to pass on, but without risking a bullet like Baker got. Prowess doesn't want to die at either Bond or Obsidian's hands, so his 'greatest' comment that you gave him, delicious, was an excellent one.
WG, your entry is great! I'll admit, it's much better than what I had written for it amidst the confusion about where to go next--it involved the very same, predictable "skimpy leather outfit" torture scene that you so eloquently denounced...
As for where to go next, I don't mind the black obsidian token idea at all. In fact, it seems very Bond-like to me. Most villains have had their vanity hangups somehow. Scaramanga comes to mind: gold bullets anyone? How about the gold in Goldfinger--he wanted to rob Fort Knox! How conspicuous is that?? Villains like to let Bond know who they are, even if the idea is nuts. The only villains Bond ends up chasing are crazed, world-domination obsessed psychopaths--the kind that think they are invincible enough to lure Bond in. And that becomes their downfall.
...But that's just my two cents.
I am hoping we will be able to wrap up this tale about mid October - so then editing can start and the cover can be created - consequently Titles are another something we should now start to consider but not actually make a firm decision on.
If everything goes according to plan The novel will be complete in time for Christmas.
...Since the crux of the story is identity theft, and the concept of using one's identity to perpetrate evil, all Obsidian needs is a living person to do his dirty work. On another level, it hints at the 'short life expectancy of a double-oh'
These are definitely good points, but I kind of like the idea of Obsidian being vain enough to practically stick his middle finger in the face of authority with that ring.The Bond villains are always egomaniacs.
But,instead of the ring,what if Jari was killed in his flat in his library and as he lay dying he somehow managed to grab hold of a book with "Blackstone" in the title?I'm thinking of lawbooks,businesses and even a series of novels about a character named Blackstone.It'd be a dying clue pointing to Obsidian because Jari's killer talked too much before doing the deed.It's a reach.But it might be considered subtle.
Here's another thought--what if when Bond first meets Mr.X,instead of looking like an Oscar,Obsidian is made up to look exactly like 007's former friend Carter?(this'd be just for 007's edification)That'd be pretty eerie,I'm thinking.A dead man happily outlining his plans for an indirect world conquest.He still calls himself Mr.X, and there's no concrete image to associate with the name.Additionally,that'd help demonstrate X's abilities as a master of disguise.If enough people want,I'll make this change.
Frankly,I'm not sure about Obsidian being a master hypnotist since that might mean that he himself is immune from hypnosis.Then again,if Max is actually responsible,in some degree for the murders of his family--and that's in his subconscous--he might be seeking hypnotists to convince him otherwise.These efforts fail,and that's why he kills his therapists.
Again,just thoughts.
Thanks for the nice feedback,everybody. Much appreciated!:)
I like the idea of jari giving a clue as to Obsidian's identity but giving his life to do so. i was going to try the same thing with Lissa's death but abandoned it because I kept Prowess in the hotel room when Bond arrived.
I know the goal is to avoid element repetition and all that, and I just thought I'd throw those two pennies out there as I get reacquanited with Novel 6
If Bond is going to be hypnotised I think Mister X would use him to access more MI6 secrets, not kill M. Remember Mister X is a user, not a destroyer. Renard/Elektra King wanted M dead out of th need for revenge but Mister X is IMHO very together emtionally except for his identity crisis issue. I think he's a real cool customer - a real chess player. His blind spot is more likely to be envy than vanity (following on from previous recent posts) and he might envy Bond's strong personality and sure identity. "The name's Bond, James Bond" - unlike Obsidian, Bond knows who he is.
Here's a suggestion of how Mister x might use Bond against MI6:
There are real drugs that induce total amnesia - I think Obsidian would use such drugs to wipe Bond's memory and then have him wake up in a fake hospital setting where actors would be used to persuade him that he had lost his memory. His name, he would be told, is Steven Dethman although he wont be able to remember this.
He would be told that he is working for the CIA and was knocked out during a fight which made him amnesiac. A fellow agent by the name of Prowess was killed in the same fight by a British agent called James Bond. The CIA, he would be told, have intelligence that suggests that MI6 is corrupt at the highest levels. Specifically, MI6 has developed new technology which could threaten the balance of world power. He, Dethman must infiltrate MI6 and steal the files which will be used to expose the corruption and also the plans for this new technology. Mister X will win either way - Bond will either succeed and deliver the files and plans to him or die at the hands of his own people.
Thanks.
X would have M killed in secret to replace with his own imposter M. From there *he* would run MI-6 until that fragile alliance between fake M and X is broken.
Of course, character shield would have M shot in the chest, nearly dying in the hospital, but eventually making a full recovery.
I also think that if X were to "use" Bond, he would also play both sides to a degree.
... and of course, Bond could voluntarily side with X, playing both sides as well. X has Bond set up his own trap which he somehow escapes
I envision Obs brainwashing Bond to use his 'skills' to pull off some scheme completely unrelated with MI6. In the Novel TMWTGG, Bond was brainwashed by the Soviets and sent to assasinate M. I don't think it's necessary to do the exact same thing.
This particular mission has absolutely nothing to do with trying to kill M.That is not Bond's mission.007 has not been programmed to kill anyone at MI6 or anywhere else..
The Pakistan mission 007 will be going on has yet to be determined by 007's allies in India, but the plan is that it will occur once Bond is again is teamed with Daya.Mr.X's people are patiently watching 007(who does not know that he's brainwashed) and will alert Mr.X to the time when 007 and Daya are in that region.To repeat,Bond is not aware that he is in a trance or programmed to react at a command from Mr.X.He is currently a sleeper agent,so to speak.He is now primed to serve Mr.X but once he awakens away from Crucible Three,Bond has no conscious knowledge that this brainwashing,this--redirecting of his subconscious--whatever one might choose to call it,ever happened to him.He's like The Mancurian Candidate.
Consequently,007 remembers nothing beyond his being gassed unconscious prior to being taken to Crucible Three.Probably all 007 currently recalls is Jennifer Smart--and she doesn't even exist.
Bond cannot possibly shake off this trance.And Bond will only go into action once he hears the keyword spoken to him by Mr.X.No one else can control him this way.A room filled with people shouting the special word will have no effect on him.The spoken command must come from Mr.X--and Mr.X alone.No one else.
So, HOW does 007 escape from this situation?
Well,here's what I'd do:
I)= I'd have 007 go to the facility with Daya and there attempt to launch the missile.Daya recognizes that Bond was behaving strangely beforehand--maybe he forgot something that once seemed so important to himself and Daya.Something personal that they shared.In an effort to stop 007,Daya shoots at Bond, but instead of killing him(she IS aiming directly for his head), her bullet only creases his skull.Bond is quickly spirited away--without fanfare of any kind-- and taken by Daya for treatment to a special clinic outside London and one secretly affiliated with MI6--run by the noted psychiatrist Sir James Molony,secretly a therapist to the Double-Os,and a close friend of 007's(this is a Fleming character).Once he awakens,James Bond's entire memory has returned.Everything is now clear as crystal.He recalls ALL of the events leading up to and including everything that happened before the brainwashing that took place at Crucible Three.Naturally,007's not happy with Mr.X.,and he now has an even greater motivation to kill this villain.
II)= As for that computer program now creating great mischief on 007's machine (and possibly all of the other computers in MI6 as well),surely Tom Prentice of C Branch(Cryptography) and his cohorts--especially the hackers brought in from Oxford and Cambridge and Eton and even out of certain businesses--plus those in T Branch(Telecommunications) and I Branch(Internet)can set things right.MI6 has a few geniuses working for them,after all.
III)= And there's still no proof Bond killed Jari.There's a gun with his fingerprints but the commission of the crime is unlike anything associated with 007's normal behavior.Scotland Yard might even see this as a plan to make an innocent man look suspicious.Let's remember that in at least 2 of the previous group novels written at AJB,that on occasion MI6 worked with the Yard.As a result,007 has his supporters there.Bond probably has an excellent lawyer as well, who can prove that 007 was not even in the country at the time Jari's murder took place.
Who IS the killer?Beats me, but he's a mole working for Mr.X.he's tall slim and possibly dark haired.A vague match for 007, but also for about a million other men,too.Maybe he's one of the office workers at MI6--he doesn't even have to be a Double-O.As Q noted,007 wouldn't have fired more than once if he was going to shoot somebody at close range.Perhaps Bill Tanner and Q can find this mole.
IV)= Then there's the dying clue Jari was able to leave behind:"Blackstone".Looks like Tanner's thinking about it right now...
Everybody,please understand that I'm NOT trying to tell anybody what to write--far from it.No one has to use anything I've mentioned.I'm certain that there are plenty of better ideas among the rest of the team members.However,these are just a few things I think might be useful.
See you in three weeks - I look forward to reading what you have written. . .
All your points are excellent ideas, WG...and much along the lines that I was thinking. The one hiccup that I've been trying to reconcile is if MI6 is on the lookout for the missing Bond, we would need to have a reason for Daya, MI6's man in Station I, to not report what he's doing.
I had another thought about the launching of the nuclear missile from Pakistan...perhaps the client behind the scheme is China, and not Pakistani terrorists. It makes more sense for China to want to discredit a nuclear neighbor than for a terrorist to nuke their own country.
...And, Golrush, enjoy your holiday! {[]
Thanks very much,Daren!I really like your suggestion--it's a big improvement on the earlier idea.You know,I don't want anyone on the team to think that what I recently wrote--which I'll admit puts 007 in a pretty difficult situation-- didn't also come with some escape hatches and potential subplots.Again,I'm not dictating a direction for the story to take--these are only my thoughts and what I might have done as a follow up to what's now written.
And anyway,speaking of exits,I'll be away from AJB for at least the first part of the coming week.
Have fun,guys.:)