I can see this thing wrapping up pretty quickly. Sabotage the launch, then kill Obsidian. ... although the bridge connecting the two events could get interesting...
My entry's in - Bond is now at the gates of the nuclear compound.
Hope my entry's okay - it was tough getting back into the tale after a month and sifting through all the prior discussions and entries. So if I have written anything which contradicts something which was said earlier please point it out. . .
My entry's in - Bond is now at the gates of the nuclear compound.
Hope my entry's okay - it was tough getting back into the tale after a month and sifting through all the prior discussions and entries. So if I have written anything which contradicts something which was said earlier please point it out. . .
I think that it's more than okay--this is another entry that reads like the work of a professional.:)
I think everything is going well so far, but I think we need to slow down a bit. I realize we need to wrap this up quickly, but the story seems to be moving a bit too fast for me. Perhaps during the editing phase, things can be expanded on. Descriptions of the surroundings can be added and so forth. Otherwise, I think everything's great. I think we should also note that somewhere we need to bring Lissa and the late Jari's murder back into the picture. Perhaps we can insert these things somewhere in the story during the editing process.
But alas, I knew it would come to this... I'm sort of at a loss as to what to write from this point... I know little to nothing of nuclear bases. Of course, I could just make it all up (which is probably what even a lot of professional writers would do, anyway), but if anyone knows any minor bits of information that would help (names of various technical things, etc.), please do tell! A nuclear base would have a reactor of some sort, right? Something for a power plant? I remember reading a lot of historical stuff about Chernobyl, that much I do know.
I suppose I'll write something about Bond and Cobra meeting up with Obsidian's goons in the compound. Daya probably doesn't trust either one of them completely, and for good reason. So she could show up at the base during the showdown, perhaps killing off one of the baddies that has Cobra in a death lock or something. If you would like, Daya can end up in a deadly situation with Cobra acting as a martyr to save her. If anyone doesn't want Cobra to die, now is the time to speak!! :O
Also, for the climax of the story, we can trap Obsidian in the compound, have Bond and crew escape in a Jeep just in time to get away from the ensuing meltdown...
Your're right, Sly. It wouldn't hurt to slow things down a tad and let the reader 'enjoy the moment'.
As far as a nuclear missile silo goes, don't get it confused with a nuclear power generator like Chernobyl. The silo would contain the missile which is topped with a nuclear warhead, and surruounded by a (very secure) compound. Most of the infrastructure is most likely underground. I grew up with a missile base across from my school back in the 80's and it was pretty non-descript, only a few small buildings in the desert. So let your imagination fly!
The typical premise is that you need two individuals in the control room to both activate the missile with the proper security device (i.e a key or identity card) simultaneously. For a fun reference, maybe watch (or rewatch) the 80's flick WarGames for an idea, and then give it your own little twist.
Right now the biggest challenge would be for Bond and Cobra to infiltrate the inner workings of the base.
I also think it would be unusual for Obsidian to have any goons already in the compound. Remember, they tapped Bond because they needed his expertise. BUT...maybe Obsidian does have one person there who is 'gung-ho' about the plan, but needs Bond and Cobra to see it through. This would pose some risk for our hero.
Also there's no valid reason I can think of to have Obsidian on the premises. Bond will have to have his showdown with Obsidian (and maybe Adriana and Mr. Lim) later at one of the Crucible bases.
I think that it's more than okay--this is another entry that reads like the work of a professional.:)
Well, I'm glad that you guys approve. I didn't make much progress in the tale, but merely padded things out a bit.
I agree that Bond shouldn't just go in and immediately start blazing guns. He should snopp around a bit, do a bit of spying and work out what's going on at the base. It should be good - a nuclear missile base is a great place to set the finale of a Bond novel.
Perhaps we should throw a curve ball at Bond...maybe Cobra also has been mentally monkeyed with by Obsidian. All someone has to do is drop the right code word (like Bond's 'Durendal') to get Cobra to go into 'mean' mode. Everything could be going fine until Obsidian realizes what's going on and sends the command for Cobra to kill Bond, resulting in a fight to the death inside the silo!
Perhaps we should throw a curve ball at Bond...maybe Cobra also has been mentally monkeyed with by Obsidian. All someone has to do is drop the right code word (like Bond's 'Durendal') to get Cobra to go into 'mean' mode. Everything could be going fine until Obsidian realizes what's going on and sends the command for Cobra to kill Bond, resulting in a fight to the death inside the silo!
Just a thought.
I concur too! This is an excellent idea that could lead to a tragic moment when Cobra ultimately buys it!
Sorry, I've been busy with many things lately (University is back in session ). I should have my entry in by tonight. I'll try to incorporate Daren's suggestions into this new entry.
By the way, I'll need some famous last words for Cobra. I'm pretty sure he's going to die in Daya's arms, so I need something appropriate for him to say in Hindi if anyone knows something...
Okay, part of my entry is in. Don't worry, I'll be back to finish it tomorrow. I would finish it now, but it's very late. I'm trying to slow the pace down and focus more on the surroundings, give Bond a few more memory clues and such. I'm hoping that this entry will expand on some things and to have Bond and Cobra formulate their plan for entry into the base.
Complete entry's in. Sorry it took a bit more time than expected, ended up with homework from writing class of all things!
Anyway, I set up Bond and Cobra's trip to the base, and set up Daya to meet them there. Although this trip could be more than they bargained for...
I realize the entry is rather rough, but please let me know if what I have written is too far-fetched. Comments would be greatly appreciated, as always.
I like what you've done,Sly-it reads very smoothly.I'm quite impressed at the level of detail you've provided.
Hopefully you and the others will find something to like in what I've done.Yep,I've gone ahead and killed Cobra--using Daren's suggestions as a springboard.Maybe with any luck, we'll hate Obsidian even more than we did earlier.
The entry's very rough, of course,and it needs polishing.I plan on revising it considerably, but I think the general content could prove to be workable.At any rate,I hope that at least some of it turns out to be helpful.
Fantastic work, guys! Sly Fox, I love the bent of humor as Bond and Cobra fiddle with Q's phone! Excellent. And Willie's showdown between Bond and Cobra is superb! This story has some great momentum and is rolls towards the ultimate confrontation with Obsidian.
The next entry should be in sometime tomorrow. ... right now I'm just stuck as to how I wanna' play this. I was thinking about having all heck break loose when the military shows up and have some chaotic firefight, but at the same time, I don't wanna' give Obsidian too big of an... army... himself (how forumlaic...). But at the same time, having it be relatively uneventful wouldn't be all that exciting for a Bond tale...
I know, probably none of us thought this novel would turn out the way it did when we originally planned it )
Thanks for the kind words guys! WG, I like the final fight of Cobra. When we finally do away with Obsidian, we want to dislike him enough so that we don't find it to be unjust, and I think killing off Cobra in this way achieves just that.
As for how this story plays out to the end, I do believe we're nearing a climax. I don't think it should end at the nuclear base, however, as I think it could end with a lot more grandeur. We might be able to take Bond and Daya back to Obsidian's palace or at one of his Crucible bases.
Either way, I suggest we bring in Lissa for that forensic hypnotherapy session we were talking about a while back. She could give Bond the clue as to where to find the Crucible base he's hiding at. I would think Crucible One would be most appropriate (not to mention we haven't already written about it ). As you say, Dawuss, this hasn't turned out anything like how we expected it would! If we really want to bring the story full-cirle, I suggest we make Finland the site for Crucible One. Perhaps we could even bring Adriana's guise of Baba Yaga back for one more go around.
If we really want to bring the story full-cirle, I suggest we make Finland the site for Crucible One. Perhaps we could even bring Adriana's guise of Baba Yaga back for one more go around.
If we really want to bring the story full-cirle, I suggest we make Finland the site for Crucible One. Perhaps we could even bring Adriana's guise of Baba Yaga back for one more go around.
What do you guys think?
I was thinking the exact same thing, Sly! {[]
B-)
Well, the story has turned out quite good, I think! But it has certainly strayed a long ways from where it was at the PTS. It might feel a bit incomplete or rough if we don't bring Bond back to snowy Finland for the final showdown.
If we really want to bring the story full-cirle, I suggest we make Finland the site for Crucible One. Perhaps we could even bring Adriana's guise of Baba Yaga back for one more go around.
What do you guys think?
I was thinking the exact same thing, Sly! {[]
B-)
Well, the story has turned out quite good, I think! But it has certainly strayed a long ways from where it was at the PTS. It might feel a bit incomplete or rough if we don't bring Bond back to snowy Finland for the final showdown.
* * *
I agree wholeheartedly.The story should indeed come full circle to Finland.
A few random thoughts:
We could also use that unfired round in the Q phone,too--either to kill off Obsidian or Adriana or to perhaps cripple their means of escape.Whatever.Sly put it in the story for a reason so let's use it.However,we've yet to prove that Max or Adriana are guilty of doing anything wrong.We could go back and add a few more tracable crimes to Obsidian's past.Some solid evidence linking Obsidian to Mr.Lim,for example.Maybe an even clearer explanation for the attempted missile launching could be given this way.Several Double-Os could particpate(including 007) with regular commandoes in cleaning out a large nest of Obsidian's most dangerous minions(Obsidian wouldn't be there,though). As a result,they'd acquire proof--hard drives for example-- tying Obsidian directly to Lim and his forces.This would be a big important battle and possibly mark a turning point for the story. Or not.
==================
This is corny but if Jari had installed a security camera in his home--specifically in the library where he was shot to guard some of the rarest books in his collection--his murder would be on tape.It might take a while for MI6 to find it,but it'd offer positive proof that Adriana had killed him.Even in the greatest disguise imaginable her voice print couldn't be altered.Just a suggestion.
Or the guilt of Adriana and Obsidian could simply be revealed in a boast near the climax.
====================
Obsidian's incredibly wealthy so wherever he is,he'll be difficult to get at and he will be guarded.What if a few select members of Obsidian's guards also have receivers in their skulls?It'd be interesting if Q found a way to create--based upon his examination of the one from Cobra's noggin--a high-pitched signal that'd fry their brains.Just the press of a button and they're toast(not literally of course, but completely incapacitated).Again,just a thought.
====================
Also-About Obsidian's nightmares and blackouts:What if they are the result of him trying desperately to forget that he collaborated with SPECTRE when he was a boy,having decided that his father's rejection of drug and weapon smuggling was a mistake and that he-at 15- knew better.Accordingly he arranged for guards to be away from their posts that fateful evening and:
(A)=either thought Largo would come to talk his father into changing his mind.
(B)=OR did the same but because Obsidian actually WANTED his family to die.
After the helicopters filled with SPECTRE mercenaries arrived and killed everyone in sight--except for Max,Max suffered a form of survivors guilt.It's lain heavily in his subconscious ever since.The shock of the attack erased a portion of that day from his memory.But it's been gradually returning and the thought of a complete recollection of the day scares him.He doesn't really want to remember.
Whenever he's put under by a doctor, he relives that moment but when he does,Max always fights back in a futile attempt to stop the attackers before they can murder his family.And while doing so Max sees the doctors as his enemies--this is why he kills them.
Entry's in. Taking the "nuclear facility isn't the climax" into consideration, I tried to wrap that up as simply as I could. I have Bond and Daya heading back to MI-6, where I go ahead and let them have their love scene. (I was in the mood for it anyway.) I have it covered in spoiler tags, as I tried to keep it in a balance between sensual and entertaining, but not explicit and inappropriate (this is a family board after all). I left it off at a spot to where DH had an option to either cut to new scene or carry on.
... and for those of you wondering, that's basically how dirty my sex scenes are ever going to get.
Nice work, DAWUSS! And kudos to giving Bond time to >ahem< relax. He's been on the go for the entire story, no one has been able to squeeze in an obligatory liason for our intrepid adventure...until now.
I'm going to give this next contribution some thought. I want to be sure I point the story in the proper direction. But I'm afraid another vis-a-vis account with M (and maybe Q) may stutter the pace we have.
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
Nice work, DAWUSS! And kudos to giving Bond time to >ahem< relax. He's been on the go for the entire story, no one has been able to squeeze in an obligatory liason for our intrepid adventure...until now.
I'm going to give this next contribution some thought. I want to be sure I point the story in the proper direction. But I'm afraid another vis-a-vis account with M (and maybe Q) may stutter the pace we have.
I agree -I think perhaps a simple coded message will perhaps suffice giving Bond some instructions will suffice -after all he's out in the field - All in all though great work guys I think this has come out excellently and the "organic" approach has amazingly worked again as the team have managed to work on similar wavelength's throughout the majority of the tale.
I was seeing it as a chance for Bond and M to clarify everything that's happened, get on the same page, and to use it as a setup for Bond chasing down Obsidian.
Comments
I hope when you say "downhill" that you mean we are heading towards the finale and that the standard isn't going "downhill" !
Let me rephrase that...the 'finish line is approaching!" How's that?
Hope my entry's okay - it was tough getting back into the tale after a month and sifting through all the prior discussions and entries. So if I have written anything which contradicts something which was said earlier please point it out. . .
I think that it's more than okay--this is another entry that reads like the work of a professional.:)
Anybody have any ideas on how to proceed from here? The silo is a great location for some action...I'm looking to see where it leads!
But alas, I knew it would come to this... I'm sort of at a loss as to what to write from this point...
I suppose I'll write something about Bond and Cobra meeting up with Obsidian's goons in the compound. Daya probably doesn't trust either one of them completely, and for good reason. So she could show up at the base during the showdown, perhaps killing off one of the baddies that has Cobra in a death lock or something. If you would like, Daya can end up in a deadly situation with Cobra acting as a martyr to save her. If anyone doesn't want Cobra to die, now is the time to speak!! :O
Also, for the climax of the story, we can trap Obsidian in the compound, have Bond and crew escape in a Jeep just in time to get away from the ensuing meltdown...
As far as a nuclear missile silo goes, don't get it confused with a nuclear power generator like Chernobyl. The silo would contain the missile which is topped with a nuclear warhead, and surruounded by a (very secure) compound. Most of the infrastructure is most likely underground. I grew up with a missile base across from my school back in the 80's and it was pretty non-descript, only a few small buildings in the desert. So let your imagination fly!
The typical premise is that you need two individuals in the control room to both activate the missile with the proper security device (i.e a key or identity card) simultaneously. For a fun reference, maybe watch (or rewatch) the 80's flick WarGames for an idea, and then give it your own little twist.
Right now the biggest challenge would be for Bond and Cobra to infiltrate the inner workings of the base.
I also think it would be unusual for Obsidian to have any goons already in the compound. Remember, they tapped Bond because they needed his expertise. BUT...maybe Obsidian does have one person there who is 'gung-ho' about the plan, but needs Bond and Cobra to see it through. This would pose some risk for our hero.
Also there's no valid reason I can think of to have Obsidian on the premises. Bond will have to have his showdown with Obsidian (and maybe Adriana and Mr. Lim) later at one of the Crucible bases.
Well, I'm glad that you guys approve. I didn't make much progress in the tale, but merely padded things out a bit.
I agree that Bond shouldn't just go in and immediately start blazing guns. He should snopp around a bit, do a bit of spying and work out what's going on at the base. It should be good - a nuclear missile base is a great place to set the finale of a Bond novel.
Just a thought.
I concur too! This is an excellent idea that could lead to a tragic moment when Cobra ultimately buys it!
Great entry bTW Golrush.
By the way, I'll need some famous last words for Cobra. I'm pretty sure he's going to die in Daya's arms, so I need something appropriate for him to say in Hindi if anyone knows something...
As the Terminator said, "I'll be back..." B-)
Anyway, I set up Bond and Cobra's trip to the base, and set up Daya to meet them there. Although this trip could be more than they bargained for...
I realize the entry is rather rough, but please let me know if what I have written is too far-fetched. Comments would be greatly appreciated, as always.
Hopefully you and the others will find something to like in what I've done.Yep,I've gone ahead and killed Cobra--using Daren's suggestions as a springboard.Maybe with any luck, we'll hate Obsidian even more than we did earlier.
The entry's very rough, of course,and it needs polishing.I plan on revising it considerably, but I think the general content could prove to be workable.At any rate,I hope that at least some of it turns out to be helpful.
{[]
I know, probably none of us thought this novel would turn out the way it did when we originally planned it
As for how this story plays out to the end, I do believe we're nearing a climax. I don't think it should end at the nuclear base, however, as I think it could end with a lot more grandeur. We might be able to take Bond and Daya back to Obsidian's palace or at one of his Crucible bases.
Either way, I suggest we bring in Lissa for that forensic hypnotherapy session we were talking about a while back. She could give Bond the clue as to where to find the Crucible base he's hiding at. I would think Crucible One would be most appropriate (not to mention we haven't already written about it
What do you guys think?
I was thinking the exact same thing, Sly! {[]
B-)
Well, the story has turned out quite good, I think! But it has certainly strayed a long ways from where it was at the PTS. It might feel a bit incomplete or rough if we don't bring Bond back to snowy Finland for the final showdown.
* * *
I agree wholeheartedly.The story should indeed come full circle to Finland.
A few random thoughts:
We could also use that unfired round in the Q phone,too--either to kill off Obsidian or Adriana or to perhaps cripple their means of escape.Whatever.Sly put it in the story for a reason so let's use it.However,we've yet to prove that Max or Adriana are guilty of doing anything wrong.We could go back and add a few more tracable crimes to Obsidian's past.Some solid evidence linking Obsidian to Mr.Lim,for example.Maybe an even clearer explanation for the attempted missile launching could be given this way.Several Double-Os could particpate(including 007) with regular commandoes in cleaning out a large nest of Obsidian's most dangerous minions(Obsidian wouldn't be there,though). As a result,they'd acquire proof--hard drives for example-- tying Obsidian directly to Lim and his forces.This would be a big important battle and possibly mark a turning point for the story. Or not.
==================
This is corny but if Jari had installed a security camera in his home--specifically in the library where he was shot to guard some of the rarest books in his collection--his murder would be on tape.It might take a while for MI6 to find it,but it'd offer positive proof that Adriana had killed him.Even in the greatest disguise imaginable her voice print couldn't be altered.Just a suggestion.
Or the guilt of Adriana and Obsidian could simply be revealed in a boast near the climax.
====================
Obsidian's incredibly wealthy so wherever he is,he'll be difficult to get at and he will be guarded.What if a few select members of Obsidian's guards also have receivers in their skulls?It'd be interesting if Q found a way to create--based upon his examination of the one from Cobra's noggin--a high-pitched signal that'd fry their brains.Just the press of a button and they're toast(not literally of course, but completely incapacitated).Again,just a thought.
====================
Also-About Obsidian's nightmares and blackouts:What if they are the result of him trying desperately to forget that he collaborated with SPECTRE when he was a boy,having decided that his father's rejection of drug and weapon smuggling was a mistake and that he-at 15- knew better.Accordingly he arranged for guards to be away from their posts that fateful evening and:
(A)=either thought Largo would come to talk his father into changing his mind.
(B)=OR did the same but because Obsidian actually WANTED his family to die.
After the helicopters filled with SPECTRE mercenaries arrived and killed everyone in sight--except for Max,Max suffered a form of survivors guilt.It's lain heavily in his subconscious ever since.The shock of the attack erased a portion of that day from his memory.But it's been gradually returning and the thought of a complete recollection of the day scares him.He doesn't really want to remember.
Whenever he's put under by a doctor, he relives that moment but when he does,Max always fights back in a futile attempt to stop the attackers before they can murder his family.And while doing so Max sees the doctors as his enemies--this is why he kills them.
Just an idea,half-baked though it may be.
... and for those of you wondering, that's basically how dirty my sex scenes are ever going to get.
I'm going to give this next contribution some thought. I want to be sure I point the story in the proper direction. But I'm afraid another vis-a-vis account with M (and maybe Q) may stutter the pace we have.
I agree -I think perhaps a simple coded message will perhaps suffice giving Bond some instructions will suffice -after all he's out in the field - All in all though great work guys I think this has come out excellently and the "organic" approach has amazingly worked again as the team have managed to work on similar wavelength's throughout the majority of the tale.
... and as a means to leave India