Okay...my bit is in. To keep things moving I had them change course to Finland in mid-flight. Also, I used Bond's brief alliance with Cobra as a means to fill in some blanks. Basically saying that Cobra spilled some beans on Obsidian. If we have to, we can squeeze something like that into the previous chapter for consistancy. That, combined with the information they gather from the recovering Lissa (trying to knit up a loose end there) has put Bond and Daya on a course for Finland
I think it might be helpful if Obsidian has Dr. Zimbardo with him. This way, maybe Bond can rescue him and resolve that particular character thread. Zimbardo might also be useful in finally resolving Obsidian's issues and revealing some of the points Willie mentioned about his history.
Just thoughts.
Also had the notion of 'what if Adriana also had a device implanted in her head' idea. :v
Another masterful entry, Daren! I like how you make it obvious that we are approaching the end of the story. I've seen some stories end abruptly with some big action scene. Once the credits roll, it leaves you saying "Oh, it ended... Wait, that's it?" )
I believe we have a well-developed story here. I'm also glad you've tied up a few loose ends. As you suggested, we may have to go back and add some things in to the earlier bits, but using M's briefing is always a great way to fill in the gaps. By the way, feel free to use the Q Phone to blow up Obsidian's base if you like--shoot it at a fuel tank or something.
One thing we need to consider is who gets the honor of writing the last entry? Do we make sure we end with Daren so that we finish the running order, or do we just let it end wherever the current writer at the time wishes? Also, once we're finished, I would like to suggest a credits page where it shows a quick bio of the writers: username (or real name if anyone wants to list it), current avatar and maybe signature at the time of writing (ie, now :P ), miscellaneous notes, etc. What do you guys think? Might be a bit nicer and more personal than simply a list of names.
One thing we need to consider is who gets the honor of writing the last entry? Do we make sure we end with Daren so that we finish the running order, or do we just let it end wherever the current writer at the time wishes? Also, once we're finished, I would like to suggest a credits page where it shows a quick bio of the writers: username (or real name if anyone wants to list it), current avatar and maybe signature at the time of writing (ie, now :P ), miscellaneous notes, etc. What do you guys think? Might be a bit nicer and more personal than simply a list of names.
Thanks for kind words, Sly! As for the last entry, I'd rather we end the story at a good pace rather than try to squeeze everybody in at the last moment. I have no vanity, so if by DAWUSS's entry, he wraps up everything neatly, then there's no reason for me to add more.
I suggest we keep writing until the story it ends logically.
I like the idea of a a bio page w/ the avatars. That would certainly be different from the other fan fics!
Good work with the last few entries guys! It is certainly a satisfying thing to see our hard work nearing its conclusion.
I really like your idea about a brief bio on each of the writers Sly!
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
The bio idea does sound good -perhaps if each of the bio's are pm'd to me after the completion of the novel I will then tag them suitably on to the end of the completed manuscript with the heading
ABOUT THE AUTHOR'S and then use the avatars next to each bio.
I'll be writing my bit tomorrow with the idea that it will either be done by tomorrow or Wednesday at the latest as I have two well earned days off from my day job.
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
something's come up guys -I'll have to skip my turn this time round -I've informed WG of my situation which is of a personal nature -I will try and contribute again next time round -when hopefully my head will be a bit clearer.
I've got an important job interview tomorrow, but as soon as that's out of the way I'll start work on my next piece, which I'll try and finish this weekend. . .
I got the job, so I'm in a good mood to write the next installment in novel 6! Hopefully I'll post it either tomorrow or sunday. . .
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
Hi guys I'm hoping I'll be back on as normal in time for the next time for me to contribute. Things have been tense at home -all I can say is is My wife had a scare and obviously her health had to take priority -she isn't out of the woods yet there will be some test results soon that will help clear up what the situation is and will hopefully put her and myself in the picture properly and will give results that are not of a too serious nature. so in the mean time I will be on when I can and contribute when I'm able.
Does anyone have any objections to having either Obsidian or Adriana perishing under the ice while trying to make an escape in a plane? Just a thought.
However,I'm so old-fashioned that I'd like to see a final confrontation between Bond and Mr.X.But I'll happily go with whatever the rest of the team wants to do.
Incidentally,the Bad Guy's plane was shot down-with him in it- at the climax of our previous story,Shadows of the Past so that's probably out.
This sounds very corny-but taking into account that these characters are masters of disguise, perhaps there's a way Adriana and Max might be tricked into killing each other.
And yes-one again Goldrush raises the bar with his excellent contribution.:)
OK, I should be finished with my entry in the next couple of days. I should have some time to write tomorrow--I would tonight, but I'm swamped with work...
Okay, my full entry is in. I tried my best to make it a good one!
I've taken the liberty of mostly solving Jari's murder for us. I invite everyone to read it, but I will say that Obsidian leaves his mark everywhere he and his minions go! Also, I've gotten Bond and Daya close to the mansion.
I was going to continue it, but figured it's probably best to pass it down to the next writer. I will suggest what I would have written, though. I was going to write that Bond and Daya came upon a repair garage with Jason Prowess' old BMW. It had been nearly completely stripped and ready to start a new identity. Bond would open a conspicuous drawer or cabinet to find dozens of VIN plates, license plates, even drivers' licenses, all from several countries! This would further hint at Obsidian's master of disguise abilities.
Obviously, no one has to use this, it's just a little idea I had. If everyone likes it, I can even go back and add it in. But of course, any comments would be greatly appreciated.
Nice work pinning Obsidian to Jari's murder, Sly! I also like the link back to Baba Yaga with the glass gun. This also kind of explains the purpose of Crucible One being attached to a glass works at the beginning of the story.
I like the idea of Bond and Daya finding evidence of Obsidian's many identities. Perhaps we can find a real dramatic way of bringing it across.
I was trying to think of a dramatic setting for Bond's final confrontation. Since we see Obsidian early on using a sword maybe that should play into it.
Excellent work,Sly!You've solved several of our story "problems" in a very direct and clever manner.:)
I'll need about 3 days to complete my entry-I'm going to try to keep the story at the same high level you (and the other members of our team) have set it.;)
Entry's in.I know that it's not very good right now but I'll revise it.And guys,I'm always open to suggestions.Please speak up.
Anyway,007 hasn't come across the license plates or drivers licenses yet,but they're surely among the next things he'll find.The hanger is set to blow--007 can set it off from a distance by remote control.
007's found the 550i.Maybe its ready to run even in its current condition--if that's the case,it'd give 007 a vehicle.
And about that house.There's apparently nobody home but the lights are on.Hmm...Could it be a trap?
Meanwhile,in another part of Finland,Max and Adriana are both in disguise and making mischief over at Crucible One.
Thanks to Max's spy satellite,they now know that 007 found Prowess's car.They also saw 007 and Daya enter the mansion-in fact,they can almost follow Daya and 007's every move.
And Max is now wearing a new face--it's one that 007 will immediately recognize.This could certainly confuse Daya.
Personally,I think Max helped kill his family but have left the topic open for whoever decides to tackle the subject.But anyway, Obsidian is dreaming again.
Let's not forget that 007 might still be under Max's control-he hasn't heard the keyword yet.
But then again,that surge of adrenaline 007 experienced during the fight with Cobra may have wiped out the effects of the hypnosis completely.
Wouldn't it be interesting if Max--who always wants to be in control--learns that he cannot control 007,no matter how he tries?That the word doesn't work?Couldn't happen to a more deserving fellow.After all,its not as if 007 has a chip in his skull like Cobra had(and possibly Adriana does too).IMO manipulating 007 may prove a bigger problem for Max than he had originally anticipated.
Just checking in. I've been really busy this past week and haven't had a chance to read your entry completely, Willie. Hopefully I will get a chance soon!
Reading your ideas, though, makes the entry sound really exciting. I like the idea of it being uncertain if Bond truly is under Obsidian's control. It could certainly make things tense for the reader if it looks like Bond is turning back on MI6.
My next few nights are going to be dedicated to some course work on ethics Hopefully, I'll have a chance to read your entry in more detail!
I've had some RL projects going on that's kept me a little busier than usual, I should have it in in a day or 2 though. Depends on how I wanna' play things out
Entry's in. It's short and potentially a rush job, but what I was trying to do was separate Bond and Daya and either have the fake James Bond come across Daya, manipulating her through the identity, or have Adriana run into Daya, although I think she should lose the old witch outfit first if that were to happen. Have a little catfight between the two... :x :v {:)
Another scenario would be to have the two James Bonds fight and have a third individual get in the way of the whole thing.
But for now I gotta' get back to some of my other projects
Finally had a chance to get caught up on WG's and DAWUSS's entries! (whew! it's been a busy past two weeks!)
Nice work! I especially like the 'full circle' that WG has painted with Obsidian and Adriana adopting their Mister X and Baba Yaga mantels!
A small continuity bump, though. Sly Fox's entry had Bond tossing his cell phone over the wall (or did I get that mixed up?) Since we know Bond had one more rocket munition in his phone, I figured Sly had a plan for the phone being tossed and being rediscovered later. Is this the same phone that Bond uses to disrupt the surveillance system? I only ask because I may or may not use the phone in my entry.
I have another question: I'm all set to either take out Adriana or Mister X in my entry, but I wanted some input before I do it. Does anyone have any objections to me doing it? Or does someone else want the honor? I think we earlier decided that no one should escape to fight another day, since the last three collaborative fanfics were a continuation, and we wanted this one to be complete and of itself.
If I knock off one of the villians, which should it be. It's not uncommon for Bond to dispatch the primary villian only to have the henchman pop up just when Bond thinks it's safe (Grant/Klebb or Stromberg/Jaws are two examples).
I also thought an interesting setting would be an underground labrynth beneath the mansion/lake. Since Crucible One is a people-smuggling operation, I would think there was a prison-type complex somewhere nearby.
Good question, Daren. In my entry, Bond didn't toss his phone over the fence, only the giant antenna that Daya would have had to carry around with her. Actually, this whole concept of the antenna radar should probably be deleted--since the Q Phone is supposed to be high tech, it shouldn't need such a large antenna. It should be able to use its own antenna, if it even needs that... Something to think about for the editing process. Anyway, the Q Phone was put back into Bond's pocket, so it's safe. The missile is still there if anyone wants to use it.
Also, I have no objection to killing off one of the villains here. To be honest, I didn't want it to end here, but last time I checked (by using the page down key), we have 205 pages here. It's probably time for the story to end. Everything's coming full circle. Of course, if anyone wants to throw in a plot twist, now is the time!! Just a note, but I do think that somewhere in here, we need to show Bond or Daya freeing all of "Baba Yaga"'s slaves. A prison complex and torture chamber would tie in nicely here. I very much like a story that has all loose ends tied up at the end, something I believe we've accomplished very well here.
As for who should die first, I think it should go to Adriana. By killing the henchman first, main villain second, the story would have a more climactic effect. All remaining henchmen/goons will either have been blown up or deserted the operation, what with their main leader gone. If we kill off Adriana first, we could have her die in a sort of martyr-like fashion for her lover (jumping in the path of a bullet, etc.). We haven't had such a death yet in this story. This could create a lot of drama for the ending. Bond looks on as Obsidian says his goodbyes, followed by his revelation of what really happened to his parents (whatever that may be), leading up to his uncontrollable rage that becomes his downfall... A good old-fashioned shootout, or even a swordfight. But whatever we do, please somehow let Obsidian remove her mask so that she doesn't have to die as Baba Yaga... She is a villain, but even Bond villains should be able to die with dignity.
Alternatively, we could have Adriana killed without Obsidian knowing it, later informing him like in TWINE: "Haven't you heard? So is she... She's waiting for you!"
...These are all just my ramblings on potential ideas.
Also, great job on the BMW, Willie! I love the idea of Bond pulling out his knife and scratching the car's new paint to see its old coat. Old School Connery style, something I would have never thought of--I wouldn't have had the nerve to damage that beautiful car in such cold blood...
Actually, I'm retracting my plans of killing off one of the villians...I'm instead setting my sights to the nefarious Doctor Pemberton. Bond owes him one after the 'brain-washing' incident.
Delicious established that Max is a swordsman,so perhaps he and 007 should fight to the death with those weapons.
Imagine how confusing the sight of two absolutely identical James Bonds(complete to the way they're dressed) trying their best to kill each other would be to Daya and any of the other Good Guys...
Comments
I think what I'm going to do is have Bond and Daya briefed in midair (it seems only right since DAWUSS 'de-briefed' them in midair
I think it might be helpful if Obsidian has Dr. Zimbardo with him. This way, maybe Bond can rescue him and resolve that particular character thread. Zimbardo might also be useful in finally resolving Obsidian's issues and revealing some of the points Willie mentioned about his history.
Just thoughts.
Also had the notion of 'what if Adriana also had a device implanted in her head' idea. :v
I believe we have a well-developed story here. I'm also glad you've tied up a few loose ends. As you suggested, we may have to go back and add some things in to the earlier bits, but using M's briefing is always a great way to fill in the gaps. By the way, feel free to use the Q Phone to blow up Obsidian's base if you like--shoot it at a fuel tank or something.
One thing we need to consider is who gets the honor of writing the last entry? Do we make sure we end with Daren so that we finish the running order, or do we just let it end wherever the current writer at the time wishes? Also, once we're finished, I would like to suggest a credits page where it shows a quick bio of the writers: username (or real name if anyone wants to list it), current avatar and maybe signature at the time of writing (ie, now :P ), miscellaneous notes, etc. What do you guys think? Might be a bit nicer and more personal than simply a list of names.
Thanks for kind words, Sly! As for the last entry, I'd rather we end the story at a good pace rather than try to squeeze everybody in at the last moment. I have no vanity, so if by DAWUSS's entry, he wraps up everything neatly, then there's no reason for me to add more.
I suggest we keep writing until the story it ends logically.
I like the idea of a a bio page w/ the avatars. That would certainly be different from the other fan fics!
I really like your idea about a brief bio on each of the writers Sly!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR'S and then use the avatars next to each bio.
I'll be writing my bit tomorrow with the idea that it will either be done by tomorrow or Wednesday at the latest as I have two well earned days off from my day job.
sorry.
Jason.
I've got an important job interview tomorrow, but as soon as that's out of the way I'll start work on my next piece, which I'll try and finish this weekend. . .
Good luck!
I got the job, so I'm in a good mood to write the next installment in novel 6! Hopefully I'll post it either tomorrow or sunday. . .
Jason.
Let me know what you think, and if you think I should change anything, just drop me a note
Does anyone have any objections to having either Obsidian or Adriana perishing under the ice while trying to make an escape in a plane? Just a thought.
However,I'm so old-fashioned that I'd like to see a final confrontation between Bond and Mr.X.But I'll happily go with whatever the rest of the team wants to do.
Incidentally,the Bad Guy's plane was shot down-with him in it- at the climax of our previous story,Shadows of the Past so that's probably out.
This sounds very corny-but taking into account that these characters are masters of disguise, perhaps there's a way Adriana and Max might be tricked into killing each other.
And yes-one again Goldrush raises the bar with his excellent contribution.:)
Good point! And I agree with the idea of a mano e mano fight.
By the way, great entry, Golrush!
I've taken the liberty of mostly solving Jari's murder for us. I invite everyone to read it, but I will say that Obsidian leaves his mark everywhere he and his minions go! Also, I've gotten Bond and Daya close to the mansion.
I was going to continue it, but figured it's probably best to pass it down to the next writer. I will suggest what I would have written, though. I was going to write that Bond and Daya came upon a repair garage with Jason Prowess' old BMW. It had been nearly completely stripped and ready to start a new identity. Bond would open a conspicuous drawer or cabinet to find dozens of VIN plates, license plates, even drivers' licenses, all from several countries! This would further hint at Obsidian's master of disguise abilities.
Obviously, no one has to use this, it's just a little idea I had.
I like the idea of Bond and Daya finding evidence of Obsidian's many identities. Perhaps we can find a real dramatic way of bringing it across.
I was trying to think of a dramatic setting for Bond's final confrontation. Since we see Obsidian early on using a sword maybe that should play into it.
I'll need about 3 days to complete my entry-I'm going to try to keep the story at the same high level you (and the other members of our team) have set it.;)
Anyway,007 hasn't come across the license plates or drivers licenses yet,but they're surely among the next things he'll find.The hanger is set to blow--007 can set it off from a distance by remote control.
007's found the 550i.Maybe its ready to run even in its current condition--if that's the case,it'd give 007 a vehicle.
And about that house.There's apparently nobody home but the lights are on.Hmm...Could it be a trap?
Meanwhile,in another part of Finland,Max and Adriana are both in disguise and making mischief over at Crucible One.
Thanks to Max's spy satellite,they now know that 007 found Prowess's car.They also saw 007 and Daya enter the mansion-in fact,they can almost follow Daya and 007's every move.
And Max is now wearing a new face--it's one that 007 will immediately recognize.This could certainly confuse Daya.
Personally,I think Max helped kill his family but have left the topic open for whoever decides to tackle the subject.But anyway, Obsidian is dreaming again.
Let's not forget that 007 might still be under Max's control-he hasn't heard the keyword yet.
But then again,that surge of adrenaline 007 experienced during the fight with Cobra may have wiped out the effects of the hypnosis completely.
Wouldn't it be interesting if Max--who always wants to be in control--learns that he cannot control 007,no matter how he tries?That the word doesn't work?Couldn't happen to a more deserving fellow.After all,its not as if 007 has a chip in his skull like Cobra had(and possibly Adriana does too).IMO manipulating 007 may prove a bigger problem for Max than he had originally anticipated.
Hopefully some of this is useful.
Reading your ideas, though, makes the entry sound really exciting. I like the idea of it being uncertain if Bond truly is under Obsidian's control. It could certainly make things tense for the reader if it looks like Bond is turning back on MI6.
My next few nights are going to be dedicated to some course work on ethics
Another scenario would be to have the two James Bonds fight and have a third individual get in the way of the whole thing.
But for now I gotta' get back to some of my other projects
Nice work! I especially like the 'full circle' that WG has painted with Obsidian and Adriana adopting their Mister X and Baba Yaga mantels!
A small continuity bump, though. Sly Fox's entry had Bond tossing his cell phone over the wall (or did I get that mixed up?) Since we know Bond had one more rocket munition in his phone, I figured Sly had a plan for the phone being tossed and being rediscovered later. Is this the same phone that Bond uses to disrupt the surveillance system? I only ask because I may or may not use the phone in my entry.
I have another question: I'm all set to either take out Adriana or Mister X in my entry, but I wanted some input before I do it. Does anyone have any objections to me doing it? Or does someone else want the honor? I think we earlier decided that no one should escape to fight another day, since the last three collaborative fanfics were a continuation, and we wanted this one to be complete and of itself.
If I knock off one of the villians, which should it be. It's not uncommon for Bond to dispatch the primary villian only to have the henchman pop up just when Bond thinks it's safe (Grant/Klebb or Stromberg/Jaws are two examples).
I also thought an interesting setting would be an underground labrynth beneath the mansion/lake. Since Crucible One is a people-smuggling operation, I would think there was a prison-type complex somewhere nearby.
Also, I have no objection to killing off one of the villains here. To be honest, I didn't want it to end here, but last time I checked (by using the page down key), we have 205 pages here. It's probably time for the story to end. Everything's coming full circle. Of course, if anyone wants to throw in a plot twist, now is the time!!
As for who should die first, I think it should go to Adriana. By killing the henchman first, main villain second, the story would have a more climactic effect. All remaining henchmen/goons will either have been blown up or deserted the operation, what with their main leader gone. If we kill off Adriana first, we could have her die in a sort of martyr-like fashion for her lover (jumping in the path of a bullet, etc.). We haven't had such a death yet in this story. This could create a lot of drama for the ending. Bond looks on as Obsidian says his goodbyes, followed by his revelation of what really happened to his parents (whatever that may be), leading up to his uncontrollable rage that becomes his downfall... A good old-fashioned shootout, or even a swordfight. But whatever we do, please somehow let Obsidian remove her mask so that she doesn't have to die as Baba Yaga... She is a villain, but even Bond villains should be able to die with dignity.
Alternatively, we could have Adriana killed without Obsidian knowing it, later informing him like in TWINE: "Haven't you heard? So is she... She's waiting for you!"
...These are all just my ramblings on potential ideas.
Also, great job on the BMW, Willie! I love the idea of Bond pulling out his knife and scratching the car's new paint to see its old coat. Old School Connery style, something I would have never thought of--I wouldn't have had the nerve to damage that beautiful car in such cold blood...
Imagine how confusing the sight of two absolutely identical James Bonds(complete to the way they're dressed) trying their best to kill each other would be to Daya and any of the other Good Guys...