Worst Review of QoS EVER

gatoscal

First time posting. Hi.

Sorry that my first post is kind of ridiculous, but I just read the worst review of Quantum I've read. I can't even begin to mention how stupid this girl is.

http://valeriewriter.wordpress.com

bondaholic007

Did she see the same film as me ?

This basically sums it all up

"Mr. Craig’s Bond spends the whole movie just really ****ed off. It’s no surprise that he doesn’t have any friends in the movie. The only person he talks to a lot is his mom, Em, a Britain woman whom I think is supposed to be the queen, but it’s never said for sure. It makes sense, though, when you think about it. If his mom is the queen, then it explains why he doesn’t get into trouble for hitting people. If he hits you and you complain, the queen would probably put you in front of a firing squad and yell, “Off with his head!”

Terrible review X-(

jamesbondagent007

Guys, I'm pretty sure this is a joke review blog. No one on Earth stupid enough to write that would have a blog.

gatoscal

Trust me, there are a lot of girls this dumb in California. That's where trophy wives come from.

Hardyboy

"But this isn’t the first time someone’s attempted to do James Bond. There was a James Bond TV show that was made for cable, but the commercials I’ve seen for it always made it look really bad and very cheaply done and it was always different actors playing the same part. Huh? It still plays on TV, but I don’t think they make new episodes anymore. Mr. Craig, however, was able to take this lame TV show, put a bunch of money behind it, get someone not old to play James Bond (he hired himself) and turn it into a box office hit at the movie theaters."

I think that passage neatly demonstrates how seriously we should take this author.

lavabubble

Having just had a quick scan of her review of TDK I'm not sure it is a joke blog - I'm thinking Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde here )

A7ce

That was crackers - gotta be tongue in cheek for definite - someone trying to be a Bimbo

Nightshooter

I like how she puts the SPOILER tag right after the spoiler!
)

Part of me hopes this girl is serious, just because it might be funnier that way.

c_a_r_t_e_r_3_5

"First of all, the title makes no sense. A Pound of Loner? WTF?"

Oh dear.

lavabubble

c_a_r_t_e_r_3_5 wrote:

"First of all, the title makes no sense. A Pound of Loner? WTF?"

Oh dear.

Maybe that should be the title for Bond 23

Nightshooter

lavabubble wrote:

c_a_r_t_e_r_3_5 wrote:

"First of all, the title makes no sense. A Pound of Loner? WTF?"

Oh dear.

Maybe that should be the title for Bond 23

With the "WTF?" included, of course.

lavabubble

Nightshooter wrote:

lavabubble wrote:

c_a_r_t_e_r_3_5 wrote:

"First of all, the title makes no sense. A Pound of Loner? WTF?"

Oh dear.

Maybe that should be the title for Bond 23

With the "WTF?" included, of course.

Well it might help to bring the txtspk generation to love Bond or "luv Bnd" anyway )

Mr Martini

I would hope that's part joke and part real. If it's real I might have to drive down to Malibu and introduce myself. :007)

Smoke_13

Intentional humor or unintentional humor I laughed at several parts of review.

I truly believe the whole thing was intentional and the person that wrote it was a comedic genius.

Very funny stuff.

Tyler

Awesome review! LOLOLOL

royalmile

This HAS to be a joke. There's too much, um, confusion per line for anyone to be doing that for real.

royalmile

Just looked at some other reviews on the site and all of them were, also, utterly ****e. So either this is a gag or someone who's basically a potato.

Loeffelholz

royalmile wrote:

Just looked at some other reviews on the site and all of them were, also, utterly ****e. So either this is a gag or someone who's basically a potato.

That was hilarious! I wonder what her AJB pseudonym is

royalmile

UPDATE: Just realized her title is an acronym. Valerie Atherton's Playground and Intellectual Department. (V.A.P.I.D.)
Maybe she could start a new supervillain organization? Though to her I'm sure organization means sorting out her shoe closet..........

A Kristatos

Please don't tell me she thinks that South America is part of the U.S.! She didn't say that, did she?!

Napoleon Plural

"Mr. Daniel Craig returns as James Bond, a top-secret assassin for Britain’s England who doesn’t say a lot but is really handsome.

Utter drivel. WE all know he's dog ugly.

But hang on... haven't we been here before? ;%


http://www.ajb007.co.uk/index.php?topic=14846

8420

Nice review ) NOT )

HowardB

It wouldn't surprise me if the review was real. My wife teaches part time at a private Junior College and you would not believe how poor the writing skills are of some of her students. They write papers like they text message. That combined with the void between their ears is a deadly combination. Now you know why "Twilight" outgrossed QOS this weekend in the US.

Loeffelholz

My question stands: who on AJB is she??

:v

royalmile

Loeffelholz wrote:

royalmile wrote:

Just looked at some other reviews on the site and all of them were, also, utterly ****e. So either this is a gag or someone who's basically a potato.

That was hilarious! I wonder what her AJB pseudonym is

LOL. Hmmm, could be any one of these:
AnotherWayToDiet
Ernst Stavro Blothequarterback
Golddigger
DiamondsAreFor16thBirthdays
TheTeamWhoLovedMe
TheAudiIsNotEnough
From2ndGradeWithLove
SpellAnotherDay
AViewToAProm
Mary Nightlight
Felix Leithead
For You: "D"s Only
Idiot Carver.

c_a_r_t_e_r_3_5

Smoke_13 wrote:

Intentional humor or I truly believe the whole thing was intentional and the person that wrote it was a comedic genius.

If that's actually the case, then it was way too convincing! To the point where I wanted to punch her in the gut.

discovolante

Of course it's a joke. Read the other reviews on the website. I'm with Loeff...this must be an AJB poster!