Silhouette ManThe last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,870MI6 Agent
The landlord of a pub sees two workmen eating their lunch of home-made sandwiches when he warns them, "You can't eat your own food in here!" At this the two workmen swap each other's sandwiches.
"The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
Silhouette ManThe last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,870MI6 Agent
edited January 2013
Yes, take those horses back to the stables and give them a kiss. )
"The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
Silhouette ManThe last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,870MI6 Agent
edited January 2013
I went into Tescos this morning and seeing that the meat in the dairy section was very much depleted, I asked a member of staff about why this was so. He replied "We have NEIGHHH! burgers". [Scotland/Northern Ireland "nay" meaning "no", for the uninitiated!]
Hence, it's a joke!
"The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
Silhouette ManThe last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,870MI6 Agent
In Ireland there were snakes everywhere. There were snakes in the morning, snakes at night, snakes on the plain. St. Patrick came along and he said "I've got rid of all the snakes for you" and I said to him, "What snakes would that be, Patrick, ye dirt-walloping bastard ye"
"The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
Silhouette ManThe last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,870MI6 Agent
My name's Bond...Basildon Bond. I've got letters after my name!
"The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
Silhouette ManThe last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,870MI6 Agent
Len Deighton has revealed he will publish a new spy novel set in the seedy world of the criminal gangs that put condemned meat into the foodchain, it's going to be called Horse Under Burger.
"The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
Silhouette ManThe last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,870MI6 Agent
Those new Findus burgers - never again - they give you the trots!
"The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
Sir MilesThe Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 27,929Chief of Staff
Comments
"Excuse me" says the guard "are you a pole vaulter"
"No" replies the man "I'm German and how did you know my name was Vaulter?"
"Don't worry" says the doctor "it's quite normal to get an erection during this procedure"
"But I haven't got an erection" protests the patient.
"No" says the doctor "but I have"
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org
Hence, it's a joke!
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org
Ha!
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org
QUESTIONS THAT REQUIRE NO ANSWER
[Sketch of a man being held up by a burglar with a revolver]
The Burglar: "What would yer say if I was ter blow yer 'ead orf?"
Yeah, 5 quid each way
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org
And now served with Champion the wonder sauce
Someone has got a Tim Vine dvd...
Was that who it was...well, it just goes to show nobody's indestructible!
I don't actually own the DVD in question - think I saw it on TV a while back as the "funniest joke ever".
Neither can I, not sure we're missing much. Roll over. This camp bed's too small...
Then you've never met the girls I have B-)
Oh, I've met 'em all - bitches mostly!
You'd better stick with your camp bed then