How do you guys get through a break up?

walther p99

A few days ago me and my gf split and it hit me really hard, how do you guys cope with it? im just looking for some guidance and comfort because its a terrible feeling to go from 10 months of seeing each other just about everyday to suddenly being alone.

The Limey

I was with my first wife for 15 years .............it'll take time , but believe me , you'll move on soon enough . 10 months isn't long in the overall big-picture of life . It may sound trite , or flippant , but ask yourself this ...''what would Bond do ??'' . You'll feel better , trust me

walther p99 wrote:

A few days ago me and my gf split and it hit me really hard, how do you guys cope with it? im just looking for some guidance and comfort because its a terrible feeling to go from 10 months of seeing each other just about everyday to suddenly being alone.

minigeff

Sorry to hear of your problems walt, but like Limey says, time heals.

My advice is to find a distraction, go see your friends more, take up a hobby or something and try to fill the time you would have spend with your ex with something else.

Give it a few months and you'll be wondering what all the fuss was about. Just don't go all bitter and bad mouth her to people, regardless of how it ended.

danjaq_0ff

I think we all need this time called heartbreak to come to terms with what we have lost, how long you dwell on this is down to you, try and surround your self with happiness and happy people, I know it is a hard thing to do at this point, but the time will come where you get fed up with feeling the way you do and you will change it.

always shaken

walther p99 wrote:

A few days ago me and my gf split and it hit me really hard, how do you guys cope with it? im just looking for some guidance and comfort because its a terrible feeling to go from 10 months of seeing each other just about everyday to suddenly being alone.

So sorry to hear that you have lost your love , but im sure a good looking guy like yourself will have no trouble
finding a new partner, life is tough,but our life experiences are there to guide and help us through
this minefield of life ,time is a healer, and you will get through it ,you have to,you will find some one new
and you will look back and it will all be history ,best wishes to you me old mucker,

Napoleon Plural

Depends what you're mourning, the person you have lost or the 'future' you envisaged, best to compartmentalise the two I guess.

Maybe avoid associations of the past a bit, like places you hung out, but don't go overboard in that either, it could rebound on you a bit.

minigeff

There was a guy called Ismay that thought compartmentalising was a good idea n all )

Napoleon Plural

Ah, is that a reference to Titanic? ?:)

walther p99

I really appreciate all that you guys have said, right now im just not contacting her and gonna focus on bettering myself and channel my inner Bond.

minigeff

Napoleon Plural wrote:

Ah, is that a reference to Titanic? ?:)

jack jack! i'm flying!

boat sinks, jack pegs it.

ende.

what took 3 and a half hours of mind numbing teniousness summed up in 3 lines of text. I took a girl to see dear Leo sink to davy jones' locker, 3.5hrs of my life wasted, and I didn't even get a handjob for it. I'm not bitter though. The foking bitch X-(


Moving on, if I were you Walt, to quote Andy Dufraine; "get busy livin' or get busy dyin'", do a shawshank, crawl through the **** and make a break for it. Use the situation to your advantage, go to the bar, get a lil tips, chat up a few birds (hell even go for the 'low n needing a hug' approach, but dont over do it) and then a swift slight of hand with a chloroform soaked hanky n have ya wicked way.

Christ I should write that 'dear miriam' bollocks for the local rag. It's how Carver got started n he seemed to make a go of it.

Napoleon Plural

I was going to suggest that OP get over his hearbreak by spending an evening with a stash of hardcore porn, but feared it might lower the tone. However, as minigeff has added his tuppence, I am free to suggest it.

Higgins

@ waltherp99

how I envy you.
Being married in the 14th year, I wish that I could simply go out and talk to every pretty chick that I want to.

Instead of this the same old boring 250-pounder is waiting for me every evening complaining about the fact that I am breathing her air

Enjoy the possibilities - there are people out there who are definitely in worse shape -{

Thunderpussy

Yes, lately my wife seems to find fault in the little things I do, Like Breathing
In and out again.

If it breaks up then it wasn't meant to be. sad but move on. I don't want to sound Smug
or patronising. Although The few women I dated before my Wife, did end it with me. They
did all ask me Back. ( Infact one basically staked me for a couple of months )
I believe in karma, things happen for a reason, even if it's only ourselves acting on our
subconscious. It's a big world out there after some time, get out and get on. -{

Higgins

Thunderpussy wrote:

The few women I dated before my Wife, did end it with me.

Why does that NOT surprise me, TP? )

The Domino Effect

Firstly, don't for a moment think that you're any different from every other guy. Women seem to think that guys get over break-ups much quicker than women do, but it's just not true...society just expects us to man-up and not stay at home, alone, watching chick-flicks with a box of tissues (the tissues are for crying, btw). I maintain that as a rule guys take break-ups harder than women, but we admit it far less frequently! So don't for a moment think you're taking this unusually hard. It's very hard and as others have said, it takes a while to get over it...but you will and better that the relationship ends now than acrimoniously after a short marriage and a big mortgage!

lilusako

I'm sorry things didn't work out. It hurts like a mofo when it happens.

When my last ex broke up with me one of my girlfriends immediately told me to read the book "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken" (http://www.amazon.com/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0767921968). The book is written geared towards women but I'm sure you can take away from it. It made me realize that perhaps the relationship wasn't meant to be. It reminded me not to fault myself which is something I often do and that I'm worth it (and so are you!).

Take the time now to call up your friends, get distracted and don't think about her (or talk to her, at least 6 months plus!). One of the first things I did was seek support from my friends knowing that I needed it and they helped me out quite a bit. I also hope we're a bit of support here for you as well in the community. Hang in there!

Napoleon Plural

Now this is all a bit better advice, credit to you all.

-{

Yeah, bang on a bit to your mates, but not too much. Dont' define yourself by it to others, imo.

toutbrun

Watch Vince Vaughn movies like Swingers.

Higgins

lol I have been asking my wife for a divorce but she refuses to leave me

danjaq_0ff

Im gonna tell her you said that she will kick your arse )

Higgins

danjaq_0ff

I had trouty down for a dogger not a swinger

LastRatStanding

My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me at the start of the year. I was gutted. I started running every night and have lost 2 stone since (Down from 12 to 10). It took my mind off it and tired me out which made sleeping easier. I watched A LOT of movies - fun movies, Bonds, comedies, nothing sad or too serious. I tried harder at work and got more praise from colleagues which felt good. Just little things like that. Don't think about her at all really and when I do it doesn't upset me. I'd recommend going cold turkey. I deleted her number, hid away pictures and things, deleted her on facebook etc. Hope you feel better soon!