I'm sorry Bond, I know you're chasing the guy who blew up MI6, killed eight people, derailed an underground train, and shot up a public hearing trying to kill the current head of MI6, but... this is British soil mate, you can't operate here, only MI5 can do that...
M: "Good news, 007, as of yesterday MI5 and MI6 are officially allowed to break the speed limit. The bad news is that they still want to talk with you about 92 previous offences".
"Madame Speaker, it is with great regret that I, the prime minister, must report to you and the ladies and gentlemen of the House, that earlier this morning a crack team from Scotland Yard raided a Chelsea address and arrested Commander James Bond, agent 007 of MI6, and have charged him with 214 cases of assault after complaints from women throughout the world that they had contracted gonorrhea from Bond after he insisted on having unprotected sex despite being aware of his medical condition..."
"he was found in the middle of the desert with two feathers by his body. Apparently he was tickled to death. You wouldn't know anything about this, would you?"
"All right, James, that's 20 rubber bands, a slingshot, 50 spitballs and a rubber chicken. And please, bring back the equipment in one piece this time"
"Madame Speaker, it is with great regret that I, the prime minister, must report to you and the ladies and gentlemen of the House, that earlier this morning a crack team from Scotland Yard raided a Chelsea address and arrested Commander James Bond, agent 007 of MI6, and have charged him with 214 cases of assault after complaints from women throughout the world that they had contracted gonorrhea from Bond after he insisted on having unprotected sex despite being aware of his medical condition..."
Comments
" that's ok but I was looking forward to some fish fingers and chips "
I did but then I discovered onesies, this ones Shrek !
( Although Not really, they are a fine security service and do a wonderful job )
In case they're dropping by, time to time. )
" Sorry No, he's just started cross dressing "
Bond Bond where are you ?
good god woman, cant I have a crap in peace?
"Oh grow up 007!"
Bond, Bond, where are you,
im down the Den watching Millwall
Bond: Hell, there's never any body armor on 00 agent difficulty!
Natalia: Wth?
1. GoldenEye 2. Goldfinger 3. Skyfall 4. OHMSS 5. TWINE
What's in it
Well there's a school, a church and a shop ......... why do you ask ?
Hear that James, they like us so much they're bringing their dogs. I hope they're puppies !
Bond: "SCIENCE, BITCHES!!!!"
"Do you ever have that 'not-so-fresh' feeling?"
"All right, James, that's 20 rubber bands, a slingshot, 50 spitballs and a rubber chicken. And please, bring back the equipment in one piece this time"
007: "Surely, you can't be serious?"
M: "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."
" I don't listen to hip hop!"
James Bond: (explitive bleeped)
Jinx: "I knew it!! You son B****. Pay up, deadbeat!!"
Adopted brother's girlfriend's Brother ! It all makes sense now.
M : Is this true , Bond ?
Bond : Duh , WINNING !
)