(Spoilers for NTTD) Shakespeare's Bond: Work area (All welcome!)

Barbel

After TLD "in the original Shakespeare" (see this thread http://www.ajb007.co.uk/topic/45192/timothy-dalton-best-actor-to-play-bond/page/7/) which has been popular both here and on mi6, I've been asked to do another one and here it is:

HE OF THE GILDED FINGER

See: http://www.ajb007.co.uk/topic/47380/ajb-presents-william-shakespeares-james-bond-in/

AlphaOmegaSin

Good Work Barbel )

Thunderpussy

Excellent as always, we'll all be " slapping our thighs" tonight in a hearty
Elizabethan manner, with a tankard of ale. ) , as Barbel is a wandering
Minstrel, perhaps he could make use of the lyrics to Guilded Finger !


Guildedfinger
He's the sir, the sir with the Midas touch
A spider's touch
Such a cold digit
Beckons thee to enter his web of sin
But don't wend in.
Golden words that gent wilt pour in thy ear
But his lies can't disguise what thee fear
For a golden wench knoweth at which hour he's kissed that lady
It's the kiss of death from.
Mister Guildedfinger
quaint wench beware of this heart of gold
This heart is cold.
that gent loves only gold
Only gold
that gent loves gold
that gent loves only gold
Only gold
that gent loves gold

Number24

Fine work, sir Garbel

Number24

Willst thou write yet another play, sir Barbel? The Yeoman with the Gilded Crossbow, perchanse? The Tale of the Falling Sky? The Royal Gambling Tavern?

Hardyboy

The rest is silence. . .

(Good work, Barbel!)

Barbel

Thanks, guys.

Nice suggestions, Number 24, especially The Royal Gambling Tavern. I was thinking perhaps of "Ye Ball Of Thunder" or "Thou Twice Shalt Live" next. My favourite bits are the Q scenes, they just lend themselves to this treatment.

Number24

"Sir Bond and the Grant to Slay"
"The Sleuth whom me did Lov'd"

Barbel

) )
Physician, Nay
Orbis Non Sufficit

King Kamal

The Yeoman with the gilded crossbow.
Lady Pepper: JW, JW wherefore art thou JW?

(Sorry couldn't resist ) )

Barbel

)
The Sheriff of Pepper: Thee I doth knowest. Thou be yon English agent of discretion, from England thou host hail.
Sir James: I most surely am, youngblood!

Number24

Was there ever a more Shakespearian character than Sheriff Pepper? )

Britt Ekland and Denise Richards are also paractically ripped from the pages of the Bard....

Thunderpussy

Ye only liveth twice !

thee only liveth twice or so forsooth
One life for yourself and one for thy dreams
thee drift through the years and life seemeth tame
Till one dream appeareth and love is it's name

And love is a stranger who'll beckon thee on
Don't bethink of the danger or the stranger is gone.

This dream is for thee, so payeth the price
maketh one dream cometh true, thee only liveth twice

And love is a stranger who'll beckon thee on
Don't bethink of the danger or the stranger is gone

This dream is for thee, so payeth the price
maketh one dream cometh true, thee only liveth twice.

Thunderpussy

Thunderthball.

that gent at each moment runneth while others walketh.
that gent acts while other men just talk.
that gent looks at this world, and wanteth t all,
So that gent strikes, like Thunderthball.
that gent knoweth the meaning of success.
His needeth art more, so that gent giveth less.
those gents calleth that gent the winner who doth take all.
And that gent strikes, like Thunderthball

Any mistress that gent wanteth, he'll receiveth.
that gent wilt breaketh any heart without regret.
His days of asking art all gone.
His square goeth on and on and on.
But that gent thinkest that the square is worth t all.
So that gent strikes like Thunderthball

Thunderpussy

Ye other way to kicketh the bucket.

Another ringer with the slick trigger digit
For that lady Majesty
Another one with the golden tongue
Poisoning thy fantasy
Another bill from a killer turned a thriller
To a tragedy

Yeah
A door hath left ope
A mistress walking by
A drop in the water
A behold in thy eye
A phone on the table
A sir on thy side
Or someone that thee bethink that thee can trust
It's just
Another way to kicketh the bucket

Another tricky little gun giving solace to the one
That'll nev'r see the sun shine
Another inch of thy life sacrificed for thy brother
In the nick of time
Another filthy wage heaven hath sent honey
Turning on a dime

Another wench with that lady digit on the world
Singing to thee what thee wanna heareth
Another gun thrown down in surrender
tooketh hence thy fear
Another sir thither that gent standeth right behind thee
Looking in the mirror

It's just another
It's just another
It's just another way
Shoot 'em up, bang bang
ho ho
It's just another
Yeah Yeah.

Moore Than

I crave thy pardon. Whilst thou tell the tale of the jolly Roger and the Inn of the Eight Cats? I hear the Inn of the Eight Cats was not far yonder from the Isle of Maidens. Legend hath it that the jolly Roger leaped through the trees reciting "Cry God for Harry, England and St George". To thy ear cries bull, but stranger truths can tell.

AlphaOmegaSin

Do art thouh say that the one named Higgins hates the one called Dalton with the Passion of a thousand firey Suns?

Thunderpussy

Wager which play thine quote accompanies ?

" So as charming as thee art, Mr. Bond... I'll keepeth mine eyes on our government's wage and off thy perfectly formed arse "

" Now the whole world wilt knoweth that thee hath kicked the bucket scratching mine balls "

" So thee wanteth me to beest half-monk, half-hitman "

" Arrogance and self-awareness seldom wend handeth in handeth "

" thee knoweth, I nev'r hath understood all these elaborate tortures. It's the simplest thing... to cause more pain than a sir can possibly endure. And of course, it's not only the immediate agony, but the knowledge that - if 't be true thee doth not yield soon enough - thither wilt beest little hath left to identify thee as a sir. The only question remains: wilt thee yield, in time "

Number24

Me thinketh the play is The Royal Gambling Tavern, a most celebrated tale of the theatre.

Thunderpussy

Thee art correct in thy thinking valorous sir {[]
Now off to yon Tavern for a night of Wenching and Wagering. )

AlphaOmegaSin

Is this a Martini I see before me?

Number24

Wise choise, good sir! My mind is set on visiting the tavern "The Quiet Arrow and the Maiden's Undergarment" later as the night grows dark. Will you noble gentlemen join me then?

AlphaOmegaSin

Thou must bring Money to this Drinking Night )

Thunderpussy

"The Quiet Arrow and the Maiden's Undergarment" ) ) )
I do like that

AlphaOmegaSin

I hope it wont affect Business for the SABS )

Thunderpussy

Not at all we've had many a Bard in there.......
John Logie Bard
Yogi Bard
The Thunderbards
Paddington Bard
The list is endless.

Number24

The SABS you speak of is said to be a house of ill repute, but sadly not the type of ill repute the Church frowns upon

Charmed & Dangerous

Barbel, that's a genius piece of writing! -{ I loved "And call me Shirley not" and "A Naughty Man" pmsl ! ) )

Perhaps this should also be a separate thread, but which Bond PTS has the lines:

Lady Miles: "Good sire, speakeast thou with Sir James and render him withdrawn from this field of battle".
Master of the Fleet: "Good Lord, in what vain pursuit is Sir James presently exercised?"
Lady Miles, "Admiral, though it vex him, surely he doth conduct his job".
Sir James doth toil to defeat his foe and, with haste, depart in said vanquished warrior's winged chariot.
Sir James: "My lady, may it please thee to beg thine Admiral, whither shall he wish these cannonballs be laid?"
:007)

Thunderpussy

Tis, a faleshood your ears have heard good sir, The Tavern of which you speaketh is nay
more that a Gentlemans club and libation purveyor of the finest ales and stouts. Tis
placed between, Ye olde Kebab shoppe and a master wagers Emporium.

Thunderpussy

C&D, would those lines from the most excellent rendering of Thyne worls is not sufficient ?

Barbel

Thunderpussy wrote:

C&D, would those lines from the most excellent rendering of Thyne worls is not sufficient ?

Nay, good sir, from the previous play they doth be. Lovely stuff, C&D, when I get a bit of time (which is not today) I'll start on another- please everyone keep doing random lines and they can be fitted in.