I liked the scene with Krest. But the joke in the port scene was that Bond wasn't too worried about the escaped druglord, but he was so upset by the smoking bann he just went. Now the joke doesn't work for me.
How does it work now? (And TP's pic gave me the idea)
) ) ) This is the best yet! I will try and compose a scene. Way too good an opportunity to misss one particular gag that's begging g to be written... -{
I liked the scene with Krest. But the joke in the port scene was that Bond wasn't too worried about the escaped druglord, but he was so upset by the smoking bann he just went. Now the joke doesn't work for me.
How does it work now? (And TP's pic gave me the idea)
To be honest, the joke I wrote is gone. But you have last edit and it's your call.
When Bond and Sanchez fight on the cart on the way back down, Sanchez could cut off the horse (ox, donkey) harness by accident.
The wagon spins out of control and the wagon, Bond and Sanchez end up outside the road drenched in tequila.
BTW: we have forgotten to set up the tinderbox Bond uses to set fire to the wagon and Sanchez. It might tie up to the joke in the port (if it gets used)
When Sanchez starts burning Bond could say something like: "People do say tequila burns horribly."
I've included a line early on, at the wedding, where Lady Della gives Sir James two pieces of flint- I thought it would set up a joke at the end, when Sanchez waits patiently while Sir James frantically strikes his flints together trying to get a spark.
To be honest, the joke I wrote is gone. But you have last edit and it's your call.
That's only because, as Our Man said in TB, I've had quite a bit of practice. But I'll change it to your way later (only online for a few minutes just now).
) ) ) This is the best yet! I will try and compose a scene. Way too good an opportunity to misss one particular gag that's begging g to be written... -{
In Scene 1, Act three I think it would work better if Lupe said:
"Nay, thine help I do not need. And it seems I do not have room for another gentleman in my life at this particular time."
(It might seem like nit-picking, mainly because it is. But it points more clearly back to the whipping with the green shoe, giving the line more sarcastic sting)
I like the pay-off for the flint stones. I think Bond should say something after he is given the flint stones about having taken up tobacco smoking there in the colonies, in such a big way it could be mistaken for an addiction if one didn't know better.
act 1 scene 1
with the line about " Have you the ring " could Bond say something
about "yes, I have rented the tapestry but havent't watched it yet,
as I heard in seven days death can befall the viewer " ?
act 3 scene 5,
at the end could sanchez describe some of his benifits for loyality
" I hath a pension plan and full dental cover, a fortnights holiday
Bring your kid to work and of course dress down fridays "
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
I think I've got it! 'Tapestry' should be changed into 'penny dreadful', making it into a reference to both the Japanese horror movie and Dalton's TV series.
or about Fake Quarrel's name, might he comment on changing his
family name over several generations from quarrel to ......
argument, row, fight, disagreement,dissension, falling-out;
dispute, disputation, contention, squabble, contretemps, clash, altercation, exchange, brawl, tussle, disturbance, conflict, affray, brouhaha, commotion, uproar, tumult,
ding-dong, bust-up, ruck, ....
why Sharky ? .... " My Mum watched Jaws and liked the name "
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
One or two jokes must be made out of the ninjas. Perhaps Bond is too surpriced and confuced to remember to fight back?
"Ninjas, here? Whatever will come next - vikings, highlanders and Roman legionaries?"
I like the Ring/Penny Dreadful joke, but there's already a PD reference included- is two too much?
Does anyone fancy writing the ninja scene? Trouble is, it would need to be followed up by the scene where Sanchez "rescues" Sir James so that means two scenes.
with Bond's (signature sword) could Q have put a spell on it like Excalibur, so
only Sir James can use it, if anyone else picks it up, it goes limp ?
) )
You know, that came up for SF but we didn't use it. It's good, but to put it in here would spoil the bit where the Old Wizard is too busy chatting up Countess Bouvier to explain stuff in his usual way.
I'm very pleased with that scene myself, but for the last line, which currently is:
Sir James: Old Wizard!
Old Wizard: Oh. Yes, here Naught Naught Seven, take this enchanted... blah blah, thou hast heard this before... So, Countess Bouvier, would you like to see my wand? Look at this wand. Is this a small wand? I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee it!
I thought, as an alternative:
Sir James: Old Wizard!
Old Wizard: Oh. Yes, here Naught Naught Seven, take this... thing. It does... stuff. So, Countess Bouvier, would you like to see my wand? Look at this wand. Is this a small wand? I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee it!
I like the first one, might The old wizard hint that his wand can expand ?
with a joke about how his is so much better than that new kid Harry Potter's.
Offering to show his collection of wands in his room, and what minstrel is
her favourite as he's really in to Direction oneith and The lady Gaga ?
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
One that just occured to me- Sir James tells the Old Wizard not to bother, she's wearing a chastity belt. To which the Old Wizard replies, well I AM a wizard, you know.
Comments
How does it work now?
To be honest, the joke I wrote is gone. But you have last edit and it's your call.
Yes, this is good. Good idea with the tequila
The wagon spins out of control and the wagon, Bond and Sanchez end up outside the road drenched in tequila.
BTW: we have forgotten to set up the tinderbox Bond uses to set fire to the wagon and Sanchez. It might tie up to the joke in the port (if it gets used)
When Sanchez starts burning Bond could say something like: "People do say tequila burns horribly."
That's only because, as Our Man said in TB, I've had quite a bit of practice. But I'll change it to your way later (only online for a few minutes just now).
Very happy to hear that, C&D!
A couple of notes:
In Scene 1, Act three I think it would work better if Lupe said:
"Nay, thine help I do not need. And it seems I do not have room for another gentleman in my life at this particular time."
(It might seem like nit-picking, mainly because it is. But it points more clearly back to the whipping with the green shoe, giving the line more sarcastic sting)
I like the pay-off for the flint stones. I think Bond should say something after he is given the flint stones about having taken up tobacco smoking there in the colonies, in such a big way it could be mistaken for an addiction if one didn't know better.
with the line about " Have you the ring " could Bond say something
about "yes, I have rented the tapestry but havent't watched it yet,
as I heard in seven days death can befall the viewer " ?
act 3 scene 5,
at the end could sanchez describe some of his benifits for loyality
" I hath a pension plan and full dental cover, a fortnights holiday
Bring your kid to work and of course dress down fridays "
" the art of the Deal" ( drug deal) by Sir Donald of Trumps ?
family name over several generations from quarrel to ......
argument, row, fight, disagreement,dissension, falling-out;
dispute, disputation, contention, squabble, contretemps, clash, altercation, exchange, brawl, tussle, disturbance, conflict, affray, brouhaha, commotion, uproar, tumult,
ding-dong, bust-up, ruck, ....
why Sharky ? .... " My Mum watched Jaws and liked the name "
"Ninjas, here? Whatever will come next - vikings, highlanders and Roman legionaries?"
or Bond commenting, that only girls, or Frenchmen fight with their feet.
with Bond's (signature sword) could Q have put a spell on it like Excalibur, so
only Sir James can use it, if anyone else picks it up, it goes limp ?
I like the Ring/Penny Dreadful joke, but there's already a PD reference included- is two too much?
Does anyone fancy writing the ninja scene? Trouble is, it would need to be followed up by the scene where Sanchez "rescues" Sir James so that means two scenes.
You know, that came up for SF but we didn't use it. It's good, but to put it in here would spoil the bit where the Old Wizard is too busy chatting up Countess Bouvier to explain stuff in his usual way.
For sure!
to impress the hottest girl in school.
Sir James: Old Wizard!
Old Wizard: Oh. Yes, here Naught Naught Seven, take this enchanted... blah blah, thou hast heard this before... So, Countess Bouvier, would you like to see my wand? Look at this wand. Is this a small wand? I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee it!
I thought, as an alternative:
Sir James: Old Wizard!
Old Wizard: Oh. Yes, here Naught Naught Seven, take this... thing. It does... stuff. So, Countess Bouvier, would you like to see my wand? Look at this wand. Is this a small wand? I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee it!
Which do you think is better?
with a joke about how his is so much better than that new kid Harry Potter's.
Offering to show his collection of wands in his room, and what minstrel is
her favourite as he's really in to Direction oneith and The lady Gaga ?