Sir James: Old Wizard!
(Wizard, pushed Sir James out of his way to get closer to Countess Bouvier )
Old Wizard: Oh. Yes, here Naught Naught Seven, take this... thing. It does... stuff. So, Countess Bouvier, would you like to see my wand? Look at this wand. Is this a small wand? I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee it!
Sir James (aside) Knowith you old wizard, she hath the belt of chasity beneath her covers "
Old Wizard: " I art a Wizard, knowith you !, and my wand doth open nine in ten of the world's locks !"
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
I've been busy editing, and slipping in a few more hopefully humorous moments. Please take a moment to read the more finished version http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/866315/#p866315 carefully and see what you think.
I haven't done the ninja scene, or the final fight between Sir James and Sanchez, in case someone else (?C&D) wants to do them.
To sleep, perchance to dream ...... could Sir James ever dream of such quests ?
After all There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt
of in your philosophy.
( 0n the play )
The secret is not in my suggestion but rather where you put it
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
But: I think the line about Sanchez providing dental service and pension plans etc. would sit well at the end of Act 3, scene 5.
There should be a scene where Bond meets Leiter again. As in the movie, Leiter is incredibly jolly. When asked if he misses Della he says she was a dear lass, but there are other fish in the sea. This makes him look at his missing arm and laughs at a joke about his arm being in one fish. But he explains that he feel someone should compensate for Bond's exeedingly dark moods.
In the very last scene, with Bond and Bouvier in the water, a whale swims by and winks at them.
There are three carts, just like in the movie. One cart driver indulges in the tequila/opium. He laughs, slurrs "The drugs are quick!" and veers into the second cart. They explode. Sanchez's accountant rants about the losses, Sanchez says: "You're fired!" and kills him.
He jumps into the third cart, where he has a fight with Bond. Sanchez cuts off the horse's harness by accident. The cart gets out of control and crashes. Then the flintstones and explosion.
Not at all, C&D, we're not on a time limit! There's the fight on the horse carts (lots of suggestions above), plus the final scene (again, suggestions above).
ActVIII (needs work! And possibly the excision of one naughty joke I couldn't resist )
Sir James drops from above onto a moving cart and falls beneath the hooves of the rear horse. He rights himself, just as Opiumlord Sanchez and his varlets let forth a slew of arrows . Dodging the arrows, Sir James pulls himself onto the carraige mount, dislodging the coachman.
Sir James: 'Backseat driver! Oh wait, that's two adventures hence.'
Opiumlord Sanchez races ahead as Sir James tries gallantly to maneouvre his cart forwards. However, the driver of the intervening cart, Lt Bamba of Valens, refuses to allow Sir James to pass. Their horses race alongside each other. Lt Bamba, inoxicated by a heady blend of tequila and opium, veers into the second cart.
Lt Bamba: 'The drugs are quick!'
Sir James: 'Just keep my mind on your driving! oh fie, that 'twas some adventures 'ere this.'
Lt Bamba crashes , as Opiumlord Sanchez and his remaining varlets retrieve cannons, ready to face Sir James, who approaches at speed. Taking aim, they let loose. Sir James, with no time to loose, manoeuvres his cart onto two wheels.
Sir James: 'Lean over! hmm, this too seems familiar...'
The cannonball is propelled beneath one side of his cart, and into Lt Bamba's, which erupts into a fusillade of wood & splinters. Sir James's cart gallops ever forward down a winding path, until he unharnesses the horses, causing the cart to crash into Opiumlord Sanchez's wagontrain. Sir James takes chase, and leaps onto Opiumlord Sanchez's cart. They grapple, and Opiumlord Sanchez accidentally cuts the remaining harness.
Sir James: 'Time to get out. .. hold on...'
The cart careens over a precipice. Sir James and Opiumlord Sanchez are flung off. Sir James's hose is rent in a manner not see until The Royal Gambling Tavern, some years hence. He gazes at his equally abraded foe, realising that he is now, indeed, Dirty Sanchez. ;%
Opiumlord Sanchez: 'Prithee, Sir James! Anything thou wish'd for could'st have been thine!'
Sir James: 'Don't you want to know why?'
He withdraws the flints from his doublet and strikes them together while Opiumlord Sanchez waits patiently until, some hours hence, a spark finally erupts. Opiumlord Sanchez is engulfed in the mix of tequila and opium. Sir James escapes.
Great stuff! My part in it was small enough for me to say that, wasn't it? LTK has some sombre and brutal scenes that made it difficult to make humor out of, but I think we pulled it off. :007)
But I have to ask Beria ..... I mean Barbel: What is the most difficult to Shakespearianize - serius dramas such as LTK and CR, or the more comedic ones (Roger Moore was in a couple of them) that are making fun of themselves anyway?
First Putin, now Beria... 8-) Anyway, I thought Sir Miles was Beria!
To answer your question- it's most difficult to Shakespearise the action scenes with little or no dialogue, such as the PTS of, say, MR or AVTAK (which is why I haven't done them). The easiest bits are Sir James getting his brief from Sir Miles or Dame Miles, and the most fun bits are the Old Wizard scenes. The endings are also tricky, with so much of them being visual rather than dialogue-based.
They would be great fun to do, but MR especially would be difficult (how do we do the space station?).
And I think we've shown that the level of humour in the original doesn't matter in this context- LTK is a grim serious movie by 007 standards, yet our "Permission To Slay" is maybe the funniest one we've done.
Comments
just thought of another pun " Sharkspeare"
I can barely spell modern English.
(Wizard, pushed Sir James out of his way to get closer to Countess Bouvier )
Old Wizard: Oh. Yes, here Naught Naught Seven, take this... thing. It does... stuff. So, Countess Bouvier, would you like to see my wand? Look at this wand. Is this a small wand? I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee it!
Sir James (aside) Knowith you old wizard, she hath the belt of chasity beneath her covers "
Old Wizard: " I art a Wizard, knowith you !, and my wand doth open nine in ten of the world's locks !"
I haven't done the ninja scene, or the final fight between Sir James and Sanchez, in case someone else (?C&D) wants to do them.
will have to be dropped or changed.
100% agree- none of the adventures of Sir James Bond are verbatim, since some scenes would be (a) impossible or (b) boring to transcribe.
This is what's held me off attempting TSWLM or MR- submarines + space shuttles + Shakespeare?
Glad you liked that! It was your idea!
After all There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt
of in your philosophy.
( 0n the play )
The secret is not in my suggestion but rather where you put it
But: I think the line about Sanchez providing dental service and pension plans etc. would sit well at the end of Act 3, scene 5.
There should be a scene where Bond meets Leiter again. As in the movie, Leiter is incredibly jolly. When asked if he misses Della he says she was a dear lass, but there are other fish in the sea. This makes him look at his missing arm and laughs at a joke about his arm being in one fish. But he explains that he feel someone should compensate for Bond's exeedingly dark moods.
In the very last scene, with Bond and Bouvier in the water, a whale swims by and winks at them.
He jumps into the third cart, where he has a fight with Bond. Sanchez cuts off the horse's harness by accident. The cart gets out of control and crashes. Then the flintstones and explosion.
I'll just tinker around with the earlier scenes.
Sir James drops from above onto a moving cart and falls beneath the hooves of the rear horse. He rights himself, just as Opiumlord Sanchez and his varlets let forth a slew of arrows . Dodging the arrows, Sir James pulls himself onto the carraige mount, dislodging the coachman.
Sir James: 'Backseat driver! Oh wait, that's two adventures hence.'
Opiumlord Sanchez races ahead as Sir James tries gallantly to maneouvre his cart forwards. However, the driver of the intervening cart, Lt Bamba of Valens, refuses to allow Sir James to pass. Their horses race alongside each other. Lt Bamba, inoxicated by a heady blend of tequila and opium, veers into the second cart.
Lt Bamba: 'The drugs are quick!'
Sir James: 'Just keep my mind on your driving! oh fie, that 'twas some adventures 'ere this.'
Lt Bamba crashes , as Opiumlord Sanchez and his remaining varlets retrieve cannons, ready to face Sir James, who approaches at speed. Taking aim, they let loose. Sir James, with no time to loose, manoeuvres his cart onto two wheels.
Sir James: 'Lean over! hmm, this too seems familiar...'
The cannonball is propelled beneath one side of his cart, and into Lt Bamba's, which erupts into a fusillade of wood & splinters. Sir James's cart gallops ever forward down a winding path, until he unharnesses the horses, causing the cart to crash into Opiumlord Sanchez's wagontrain. Sir James takes chase, and leaps onto Opiumlord Sanchez's cart. They grapple, and Opiumlord Sanchez accidentally cuts the remaining harness.
Sir James: 'Time to get out. .. hold on...'
The cart careens over a precipice. Sir James and Opiumlord Sanchez are flung off. Sir James's hose is rent in a manner not see until The Royal Gambling Tavern, some years hence. He gazes at his equally abraded foe, realising that he is now, indeed, Dirty Sanchez. ;%
Opiumlord Sanchez: 'Prithee, Sir James! Anything thou wish'd for could'st have been thine!'
Sir James: 'Don't you want to know why?'
He withdraws the flints from his doublet and strikes them together while Opiumlord Sanchez waits patiently until, some hours hence, a spark finally erupts. Opiumlord Sanchez is engulfed in the mix of tequila and opium. Sir James escapes.
See http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/866315/#p866315
Partying is such sweet sorrow ?
Assembled version at http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/866315/#p866315
To answer your question- it's most difficult to Shakespearise the action scenes with little or no dialogue, such as the PTS of, say, MR or AVTAK (which is why I haven't done them). The easiest bits are Sir James getting his brief from Sir Miles or Dame Miles, and the most fun bits are the Old Wizard scenes. The endings are also tricky, with so much of them being visual rather than dialogue-based.
So the level of humor in the origional movie isn't a factor?
I think AVTAK and MR could be great fun, but I'll have to watch them again.
And I think we've shown that the level of humour in the original doesn't matter in this context- LTK is a grim serious movie by 007 standards, yet our "Permission To Slay" is maybe the funniest one we've done.