XXX " thy flint is most fine"
Sir James:" I did purchase it in Berngarten, after being accosted by some knaves"
(XXX shows a likeness in a locket)
XXX :" knowest ye ?" He to was at Berngarten, did thy kill him ?"
Sir James :" perhaps, I have killed so many, it must be fifteen this week alone ! I
Really am my Queen's best, she feels sad for the rest and wonders how I learned
To do the things, I do'ith "
XXX :" Then when this quest is vanquished, I will endith thine own life "
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
( in a well appointed throne room, two yeomen approach a seated lord and his servant )
Count Stromberg:" Apothecary Bechman, Alchemist Markovitz, thank thou.
Well, gentlemen, anon yond the moment hath cometh to did bid thou farewell,
I congratulate both thou, leech, and thou, alchemist, on thy brilliant worketh "
Apothecary:" We did do bethink of trying dragon's den, but thou did has't better holidays"
CS:" Maidservant leaveth us"
( the lord does dismiss his maid servant dropping her through a trap door. The speaketh
to her through his speaking tube as she splashes below )
CS:" 't wast thou who is't did betray me. Thou did has't access to all the information.
And anon thou wilt payeth the penalty. Mine synchronized swim team wot many routines
and wilt did bear thou to death !"
( a servant arrives with a message that a boat has arrived on the beech for the two men )
CS:" All mine gramercy and farewell gentlemen .. Once more unto the beech "
( aside to servant .. )
CS:" On leaving did lie-to the canon to blow those folk out of the water , Betoken their families
't wast an accident, the burial wast at flote "
Servant:" Thou art so evil mine master "
CS:" Tis a gift"
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
( In a cabin Sir James, is entertaining a young maiden )
Maiden: " Sir James, I cannot findeth the words."
Sir James:" Then did let me tryeth and enlarge thy vocabulary"
( suddenly an arrow strikes
A beam above sir James's head, from the attached parchment He reads ... )
Sir James " I'm to withdraw at once, something big has a risen "
Maiden: " True, Sir James you are like a mighty stallion, ..... "
Sir James: " Nay, I must away "
Maiden: " But Sir James I needith thee "
Sir James: " so dos't The Realm that is England !"
( Sir James leaves, as the maiden signals from a window to a bunch of knaves, who
Attack Sir James but he easily dispatches them and jumps to his ship displaying a
Large Union Jack )
a watching Jack-Tar " Nobody dost 't better"
Just for fun, I'm not starting anything
A suggestion: (we remember RM's bright red and yellow outfit.)
Sir James: " Nay, I must away " Maiden: "Not in those garishly coloured robes, I hope?" Sir James: "I got rid of those green trainers - will you ever stop complaining?"
Maiden: " But Sir James I needith thee "
Sir James: " so dos't The Realm that is England !"
Act 2, Scene 4. A foreign drinking place. A band doth play "Good Morning Cairo Town".
Sir James: Greetings, XXX! Thou art most different to what I did expect. When I did hear “XXX” I did think I wouldst be meeting with a bald man with great muscles and a fast, furious carriage.
XXX: And when I did hear “007” I did think I would be meeting with a bald man with a Scottish accent. For mine assistant, Ivan, I must apologise.
Sir James: Yea, truly he was terrible.
XXX: Steward, mine companion willst have a mead- let it be shaken but stir it not.
Sir James: Alack, but I have a previous engagement.
XXX: And I, too, most happily.
Sir James: Steward, I seek Effendi Kalba.
Steward Sadruddin: Effendi Kalba doth own this drinking place, good sir. He ist seated over here in booth Number 24.
Sir James: Effendi Kalba, I am he who is called Bond, James Bond.
Kalba: And of this, what?
Sir James: I am told that thee hath information to sell to me.
XXX: One moment, I prithee, for I wouldst join in this bidding
.... needs more!
I think this should be added:
XXX: Steward, mine companion willst have a mead- let it be shaken but stir it not. Bond: And the lady willst have a ??????? (I don't remember what she drank.)
XXX: Sir James Bond, recruited to the Her Majest's Secret Service from the Royal Navy. Licensed to Slay and has done so on numerous occasions. Many lovers, but many didn't survive to marry a suitable man. Stopped bed-wetting at age ....."
Sir James: That's quite enough!
XXX: Are you sensitive?
Sir Bond: In some cases, yes .....
Sir James: Alack, but I have a previous engagement.
M:" Sir James, hath you the scrolls ?"
Sir James:" No, my liege. It's just these new tights rideth up "
Hargreaves:" look you well at this, tis a scroll of Rangers course "
Sir James:" tis more a parchment of some scantily clad young maids !"
Hargreaves:" A thousand pardons, wrong parchment, tis from my last
Voyage. Here beith thine correct parchment "
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
XXX: thou art sensitive?
Sir Bond: Well I had a rash for months, and the other young knights
Used to claim, In my bed, I awoke to a rainbow every morning ! And
The apothecary's talcum powder didn't always help. So yes verily I
Be sensitive of some things ....
Sir James: Alack, but I have a previous engagement
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Sir James: " Nay, I must away "
Maiden: "Not in those garishly coloured robes, I hope?"
Sir James: "I got rid of those green trainers - but verily these are mine
Family colours. The yellow, a sign of the Bananas we doth Universally
Export, throughout the Realm, with the red backpack, matching mine
Eyes the morning after six vespers! will you ever stop complaining?"
Maiden: " But Sir James I needith thee "
Sir James: " so dos't The Realm that is England !"
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Sir James:" The semaphore unit, can thee w'rk t? "
Captain:" rightly so, but we've only did get three minutes! "
Sir James:" readith, this parchment ..... Salutations on buying
this state of the art semaphore unit. Thy Automatic Recognition Semaphore Exhibit !
We can signal each ship to fire thy canon on't each other."
Captain:" Verily, Sir James thy ARSE could indeed blow them from the
Water "
Sir James:" tis an idea at that " ( sir James slapps his thighs)
Captain:" Tis, not to be sniffed at "
Sir James:" apace back to thine ship"
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Act 1, Scene 1. In a cabin Sir James ist entertaining a young maiden.
Maiden: Sir James, I cannot findeth the words.
Sir James: Then do let me tryeth and enlarge thy vocabulary. (An arrow strikes a beam above Sir James's head. He reads from the attached parchment... )
Sir James: I must withdraw at once, something big has arisen.
Maiden: ‘Tis true Sir James, thou art like a mighty stallion-
Sir James: Nay, not that- I must away.
Maiden: Not in those garishly coloured robes, I do hope?
Sir James: I got rid of those green trainers - but verily these are mine family colours. The yellow, a sign of the bananas we doth Universally Export throughout the Realm, with the red backpack matching mine eyes the morning after six Vespers! Willt thou ever stop complaining?
Maiden: But Sir James I needeth thee!
Sir James: So dos't The Realm that is England ! (Sir James departs, as the maiden signals from a window to a bunch of knaves, who attack Sir James but he easily dispatches them and jumps to his ship displaying a large Union Jack)
A watching Jack-Tar: Nobody dost 't better.
(Intermission. Maidens dance around a cardboard cutout of Sir Roger Moore- or mayhap the real one, ‘tis always hard to tell. A woman from across the sea sings.)
M:" Sir James, hath you the scrolls ?"
Sir James:" No, my liege. It's just these new tights rideth up "
Hargreaves:" look you well at this, tis a scroll of Rangers course "
Sir James:" tis more a parchment of some scantily clad young maids !"
Hargreaves:" A thousand pardons, wrong parchment, tis from my last
Voyage. Here beith thine correct parchment "
I love this, but it doesn't fit in to the mirror imaging (Sir James and XXX getting exactly the same briefing) so can we fit this in elsewhere?
Act 2, Scene 4. A foreign drinking place. A band doth play "Good Morning Cairo Town".
Sir James: Greetings, XXX! Thou art most different to what I did expect. When I did hear “XXX” I did think I wouldst be meeting with a bald man with great muscles and a fast, furious carriage.
XXX: And when I did hear “007” I did think I would be meeting with a bald man with a Scottish accent. For mine assistant, Ivan, I must apologise.
Sir James: Yea, truly he was terrible.
XXX: Steward, mine companion willst have a mead- let it be shaken but stir it not.
Sir James: Alack, but I have a previous engagement.
XXX: And I, too, most happily.
Sir James: Steward, I seek Effendi Kalba.
Steward Sadruddin: Effendi Kalba doth own this drinking place, good sir. He ist seated over here in booth Number 24.
Sir James: Effendi Kalba, I am he who is called Bond, James Bond.
Kalba: And of this, what?
Sir James: I am told that thee hath information to sell to me.
XXX: One moment, I prithee, for I wouldst join in this bidding
.... needs more!
I think this should be added:
XXX: Steward, mine companion willst have a mead- let it be shaken but stir it not. Bond: And the lady willst have a ??????? (I don't remember what she drank.)
XXX: Sir James Bond, recruited to the Her Majest's Secret Service from the Royal Navy. Licensed to Slay and has done so on numerous occasions. Many lovers, but many didn't survive to marry a suitable man. Stopped bed-wetting at age ....."
Sir James: That's quite enough!
XXX: Are you sensitive?
Sir Bond: In some cases, yes .....
Sir James: Alack, but I have a previous engagement.
XXX: thou art sensitive?
Sir Bond: Well I had a rash for months, and the other young knights
Used to claim, In my bed, I awoke to a rainbow every morning ! And
The apothecary's talcum powder didn't always help. So yes verily I
Be sensitive of some things ....
Sir James: Alack, but I have a previous engagement
And this too. Will put it together tomorrow (unless someone beats me to it).
(A carriage)
XXX: I thank'ee for yon delicious meal, Sir James.
Sir James: I prithee, take with me a nightcap- 'tis on mine company.
XXX: Alack, nay, for tomorrow shalt be a day of much business. (She enters her chambers and opens a small box of tissues. Jaws emerges)
XXX: What the fu.... (Jaws doth seize the lady and she screams. Enter Sir James, who doth battle with ye giant)
Help! I'm tempted to do the Austin Powers thing, and have Sir James try to find something to overcome Jaws with, bypassing a knife, a gun, etc, till he finds something like a nailfile.
Comments
More jokes always, but there were a few in there (the names, mostly, and the mirror imaging).
And we can make Terrrible jokes about his name!
Sir James:" I did purchase it in Berngarten, after being accosted by some knaves"
(XXX shows a likeness in a locket)
XXX :" knowest ye ?" He to was at Berngarten, did thy kill him ?"
Sir James :" perhaps, I have killed so many, it must be fifteen this week alone ! I
Really am my Queen's best, she feels sad for the rest and wonders how I learned
To do the things, I do'ith "
XXX :" Then when this quest is vanquished, I will endith thine own life "
Count Stromberg:" Apothecary Bechman, Alchemist Markovitz, thank thou.
Well, gentlemen, anon yond the moment hath cometh to did bid thou farewell,
I congratulate both thou, leech, and thou, alchemist, on thy brilliant worketh "
Apothecary:" We did do bethink of trying dragon's den, but thou did has't better holidays"
CS:" Maidservant leaveth us"
( the lord does dismiss his maid servant dropping her through a trap door. The speaketh
to her through his speaking tube as she splashes below )
CS:" 't wast thou who is't did betray me. Thou did has't access to all the information.
And anon thou wilt payeth the penalty. Mine synchronized swim team wot many routines
and wilt did bear thou to death !"
( a servant arrives with a message that a boat has arrived on the beech for the two men )
CS:" All mine gramercy and farewell gentlemen .. Once more unto the beech "
( aside to servant .. )
CS:" On leaving did lie-to the canon to blow those folk out of the water , Betoken their families
't wast an accident, the burial wast at flote "
Servant:" Thou art so evil mine master "
CS:" Tis a gift"
A suggestion: (we remember RM's bright red and yellow outfit.)
Sir James: " Nay, I must away "
Maiden: "Not in those garishly coloured robes, I hope?"
Sir James: "I got rid of those green trainers - will you ever stop complaining?"
Maiden: " But Sir James I needith thee "
Sir James: " so dos't The Realm that is England !"
Just like in the movie the Royal Navy HQ should show off a map, and both the map and the process of unlocking it should be ridicolously extravagant.
I think this should be added:
XXX: Steward, mine companion willst have a mead- let it be shaken but stir it not.
Bond: And the lady willst have a ??????? (I don't remember what she drank.)
XXX: Sir James Bond, recruited to the Her Majest's Secret Service from the Royal Navy. Licensed to Slay and has done so on numerous occasions. Many lovers, but many didn't survive to marry a suitable man. Stopped bed-wetting at age ....."
Sir James: That's quite enough!
XXX: Are you sensitive?
Sir Bond: In some cases, yes .....
Sir James: Alack, but I have a previous engagement.
Sir James:" No, my liege. It's just these new tights rideth up "
Hargreaves:" look you well at this, tis a scroll of Rangers course "
Sir James:" tis more a parchment of some scantily clad young maids !"
Hargreaves:" A thousand pardons, wrong parchment, tis from my last
Voyage. Here beith thine correct parchment "
Sir Bond: Well I had a rash for months, and the other young knights
Used to claim, In my bed, I awoke to a rainbow every morning ! And
The apothecary's talcum powder didn't always help. So yes verily I
Be sensitive of some things ....
Sir James: Alack, but I have a previous engagement
Maiden: "Not in those garishly coloured robes, I hope?"
Sir James: "I got rid of those green trainers - but verily these are mine
Family colours. The yellow, a sign of the Bananas we doth Universally
Export, throughout the Realm, with the red backpack, matching mine
Eyes the morning after six vespers! will you ever stop complaining?"
Maiden: " But Sir James I needith thee "
Sir James: " so dos't The Realm that is England !"
Captain:" rightly so, but we've only did get three minutes! "
Sir James:" readith, this parchment ..... Salutations on buying
this state of the art semaphore unit. Thy Automatic Recognition Semaphore Exhibit !
We can signal each ship to fire thy canon on't each other."
Captain:" Verily, Sir James thy ARSE could indeed blow them from the
Water "
Sir James:" tis an idea at that " ( sir James slapps his thighs)
Captain:" Tis, not to be sniffed at "
Sir James:" apace back to thine ship"
Lovely material, this is going to come together very nicely.
Act 1, Scene 1. In a cabin Sir James ist entertaining a young maiden.
Maiden: Sir James, I cannot findeth the words.
Sir James: Then do let me tryeth and enlarge thy vocabulary.
(An arrow strikes a beam above Sir James's head. He reads from the attached parchment... )
Sir James: I must withdraw at once, something big has arisen.
Maiden: ‘Tis true Sir James, thou art like a mighty stallion-
Sir James: Nay, not that- I must away.
Maiden: Not in those garishly coloured robes, I do hope?
Sir James: I got rid of those green trainers - but verily these are mine family colours. The yellow, a sign of the bananas we doth Universally Export throughout the Realm, with the red backpack matching mine eyes the morning after six Vespers! Willt thou ever stop complaining?
Maiden: But Sir James I needeth thee!
Sir James: So dos't The Realm that is England !
(Sir James departs, as the maiden signals from a window to a bunch of knaves, who attack Sir James but he easily dispatches them and jumps to his ship displaying a large Union Jack)
A watching Jack-Tar: Nobody dost 't better.
(Intermission. Maidens dance around a cardboard cutout of Sir Roger Moore- or mayhap the real one, ‘tis always hard to tell. A woman from across the sea sings.)
I did some research, well I looked on T'nternet and it says Skiing was only invented in 1840
I love this, but it doesn't fit in to the mirror imaging (Sir James and XXX getting exactly the same briefing) so can we fit this in elsewhere?
Yes, for sure.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_skiing
And this too. Will put it together tomorrow (unless someone beats me to it).
N24, did you spot your cameo?
See http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/867471/#p867471
She actually drinks Bacardi, but that's too modern. Have slipped in the terrible Ivan line, a cameo for N24, and TP's changes.
XXX: I thank'ee for yon delicious meal, Sir James.
Sir James: I prithee, take with me a nightcap- 'tis on mine company.
XXX: Alack, nay, for tomorrow shalt be a day of much business.
(She enters her chambers and opens a small box of tissues. Jaws emerges)
XXX: What the fu....
(Jaws doth seize the lady and she screams. Enter Sir James, who doth battle with ye giant)
Help! I'm tempted to do the Austin Powers thing, and have Sir James try to find something to overcome Jaws with, bypassing a knife, a gun, etc, till he finds something like a nailfile.