Verily Good sir you are correct I did mix up mine Titles in my eagerness to find favour
with the good Sir Charmed and Dangerous, Suitably Vex, I shall now go and Beat my man servant
I mean I shall attack my servant with a stick, and not the other thing, Only dirty, Minds wouldst think ! )
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
It is known to all learned gentlemen that the great bard findeth stories for his estemed plays in many a place. I came upon a Norse saga from the viking age. Can this be the source of the great play we just witnessed?
The saga of Jostein Bonde of Skyfall and jarl Golden Finger
First skin. This in a feasting hall happens:
Man: Greetings, Jostein. You have the foul Ragnar stopped.
Jostein: Ragnar no longer against the Queen a rebelion can start.
Man: Your ship in less than an hour leaves.
Jostein: I will on it be, though mine work here be yet undone.
Second skin. This in a bedroom happens:
Dancing Wench: Will you for all time your axe carry?
Jostein: I regret, but a lesser man without it I feel.
(A knave with a knife sneaks in to Jostein kill. They fight. The knave in the bath tub falls. Jostein lightning on him throws. The man will not again in this saga appear)
Jostein: Most verily I am shocked.
A skin to where the reader can his eyes rest. A golden wench is shown. A Celtic woman sings.
Third skin. This in a sleeping house for traveling men happens:
Jarl Frode: In the safest of hands I you find.
Jostein: Greetings, Frode! What tidings do you carry?
Jarl Frode: I tidings from Jarl Magnus bring. He bids you to a knave find and kill.
Jostein: I you to stay bid, jarl Frode. Wench Dagny, you are to leave while men do speak.
Fourth skin. This in another bedroom happens:
Naked wench: What are you called, good man?
Jostein: I am Jostein Bonde of Skyfall called.
Naked wench: For you, Jostein, I great love have.
Jostein: With you in a serving hall I shall eat.
Fifth skin. This in the great shieldhall of jarl Magne happens:
Jarl Magne: Oh, you a fool are! Your task was this Jarl Audun Golden Finger to find and kill, yet his wench you bedded. With a heavy heart I the guardsmen for your freedom asked.
Jostein: I for your forgivnes ask, my leader. My weaknesses are to me known, though my task be not... jarl.
Målfrid (the clerk of Magnus be): I of you ask, Jostein, with me tonight you eat.
Jarl Magnus: Nay, with me shall Naught Naught Seven eat.
Sixth skin. This in the lair of the Old Warlock happens:
Jostein: My ship I seek.
Old Warlock: Here look, Naught Naught Seven. Your ship is old, jarl Magne says. A new ship shall you have- look!
Jostein: Great Odin, a seat on springs! Surely you jest?
Old Warlock: I never of my handiwork jest, Naught Naught Seven. And never I Sonja be called.
Seventh skin. This in a field pitted with eight-and-ten holes happens.
Audun Golden Finger: To have a bout with me you did not come.
Jostein: This bar of gold I do bring.
Audun Golden Finger: Twice have our paths crossed, Jostein. Let that enough be.
Eight skin. This in a villain’s lair happens.
Audun Golden Finger: Here gold be, Jostein. Its lustre has me beguiled, and I am by its spell bewitched.
Jostein: Your point is most surely taken and for this telling I do mine thanks offer.
Audun Golden Finger: With care you must your words chose, Naught Naught Seven. They your last words can be.
Jostein: Naught Naught Eight my place can take.
Audun Golden Finger: In truth, more successful shall he be!
Jostein: Of what I know, he too knows.
Audun Golden Finger: You nothing know, Jostein.
Jostein: I shall not speak, though you for it plan.
Audun Golden Finger: But I for your death plan, Jostein.
Ninth skin. This on the high seas happens.
Petra: Petra the Galore of Pussy I am.
Jostein: This true must be, though your name I seek.
Petra: To your charms I am shielded.
Tenth skin. This in another villain’s lair happens.
Audun Golden Finger: Man has great deeds done and events caused to be. Yes, even unto immense oceans has he in all endeavours sailed, yet not in the evil arts.
An outlaw chieftain: Much gold you to me owe.
Second outlaw chieftain: Much gold you to me also owe.
Audun Golden Finger: I to you all much gold owe, and my coffers shall to you tomorrow shall open.
Third outlaw chieftain: But tomorrow the day of sacrifice be and all coffers are shuttered?
Audun Golden Finger: Mine coffers open shall be.
(Audun lets the hall burn to the ground. The outlaw chieftains will not again in this saga appear)
Eleventh skin. This in another field happens.
Frode: Have you from Jostein heard?
Man: In that barn Jostein with Petre the Galore of Pussy be.
Frode: In truth Jostein safe and well and happy is.
Tall German Man: My eyes misty grows.
Twelfth skin. This on the high seas happens.
Audun Golden Finger: You for the last time have me stopped, Jostein.
(Audun and Jostein fight. Audun into the waves is thrown. Audun out of this saga is)
Jostein: Now you to Helheim shall swim.
I asketh a nitwitted Gent from Norway I met on the docks the meaning of the word "jarl". He raved and could speak of little else but his cold and barren homeland and the fair-haired ladies in yonder land. After much idle talk the harebrained gent devulged the meaning of 'jarl' in yonder wilderness - 'tis what Earls are title'd, if such fine Nobles really dvell in such places.
I wonder if we can find Bond stories in other generes? There are the brilliant Shakespearian versions and there is my much more modest norse saga entry. Perhaps we'll see a Scandi noir Bond, a Bollywood Bond, a westeren Bond etc. )
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Thunderbird 2East of Cardiff, Wales.Posts: 2,817MI6 Agent
Indeed, mastery of the golden pen, nay I folly to fail the word "keyboard" is indeed a skill you are indeed adept Laird Barbel! Such dexterity many a swordman would indeed be in envy, at the flexible parry you demonstrate with the words of Master Fleming.
This is Thunderbird 2, how can I be of assistance?
Is that "Swordsman" thing, the same as the swordsman award at the annual
Adult Movie Awards ? :v
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Thunderbird 2East of Cardiff, Wales.Posts: 2,817MI6 Agent
(Sighs)
It weighs heavy on my heart indeed, the unending Depths of Verbal slurry our local innkeeper can stoop, in intention of afflicting our company with vulgarised wit!
Indeed it is not I of cleaner spirit and higher vitrtue, to consider the base level concerns of Such ill humour.
(Farts) It is with regret that sometimes the flesh does not follow the same virtue as that of the spirit. Pardon my transgression.
This is Thunderbird 2, how can I be of assistance?
Just whilst we're talking about Shakespeare, I saw Thomas Wheatley in Love Labour's Lost at the RSC yesterday evening. I had no idea he was going to be in it so a lovely surprise. A wonderful play. Really enjoyed it. :x
Comments
You may have noticed the Tall German Man's cameo appearances....
with the good Sir Charmed and Dangerous, Suitably Vex, I shall now go and Beat my man servant
I mean I shall attack my servant with a stick, and not the other thing, Only dirty, Minds wouldst think !
#1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.GF 4.GE 5.DN 6.FYEO 7.FRWL 8.TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT/QOS
The saga of Jostein Bonde of Skyfall and jarl Golden Finger
First skin. This in a feasting hall happens:
Man: Greetings, Jostein. You have the foul Ragnar stopped.
Jostein: Ragnar no longer against the Queen a rebelion can start.
Man: Your ship in less than an hour leaves.
Jostein: I will on it be, though mine work here be yet undone.
Second skin. This in a bedroom happens:
Dancing Wench: Will you for all time your axe carry?
Jostein: I regret, but a lesser man without it I feel.
(A knave with a knife sneaks in to Jostein kill. They fight. The knave in the bath tub falls. Jostein lightning on him throws. The man will not again in this saga appear)
Jostein: Most verily I am shocked.
A skin to where the reader can his eyes rest. A golden wench is shown. A Celtic woman sings.
Third skin. This in a sleeping house for traveling men happens:
Jarl Frode: In the safest of hands I you find.
Jostein: Greetings, Frode! What tidings do you carry?
Jarl Frode: I tidings from Jarl Magnus bring. He bids you to a knave find and kill.
Jostein: I you to stay bid, jarl Frode. Wench Dagny, you are to leave while men do speak.
Fourth skin. This in another bedroom happens:
Naked wench: What are you called, good man?
Jostein: I am Jostein Bonde of Skyfall called.
Naked wench: For you, Jostein, I great love have.
Jostein: With you in a serving hall I shall eat.
Fifth skin. This in the great shieldhall of jarl Magne happens:
Jarl Magne: Oh, you a fool are! Your task was this Jarl Audun Golden Finger to find and kill, yet his wench you bedded. With a heavy heart I the guardsmen for your freedom asked.
Jostein: I for your forgivnes ask, my leader. My weaknesses are to me known, though my task be not... jarl.
Målfrid (the clerk of Magnus be): I of you ask, Jostein, with me tonight you eat.
Jarl Magnus: Nay, with me shall Naught Naught Seven eat.
Sixth skin. This in the lair of the Old Warlock happens:
Jostein: My ship I seek.
Old Warlock: Here look, Naught Naught Seven. Your ship is old, jarl Magne says. A new ship shall you have- look!
Jostein: Great Odin, a seat on springs! Surely you jest?
Old Warlock: I never of my handiwork jest, Naught Naught Seven. And never I Sonja be called.
Seventh skin. This in a field pitted with eight-and-ten holes happens.
Audun Golden Finger: To have a bout with me you did not come.
Jostein: This bar of gold I do bring.
Audun Golden Finger: Twice have our paths crossed, Jostein. Let that enough be.
Eight skin. This in a villain’s lair happens.
Audun Golden Finger: Here gold be, Jostein. Its lustre has me beguiled, and I am by its spell bewitched.
Jostein: Your point is most surely taken and for this telling I do mine thanks offer.
Audun Golden Finger: With care you must your words chose, Naught Naught Seven. They your last words can be.
Jostein: Naught Naught Eight my place can take.
Audun Golden Finger: In truth, more successful shall he be!
Jostein: Of what I know, he too knows.
Audun Golden Finger: You nothing know, Jostein.
Jostein: I shall not speak, though you for it plan.
Audun Golden Finger: But I for your death plan, Jostein.
Ninth skin. This on the high seas happens.
Petra: Petra the Galore of Pussy I am.
Jostein: This true must be, though your name I seek.
Petra: To your charms I am shielded.
Tenth skin. This in another villain’s lair happens.
Audun Golden Finger: Man has great deeds done and events caused to be. Yes, even unto immense oceans has he in all endeavours sailed, yet not in the evil arts.
An outlaw chieftain: Much gold you to me owe.
Second outlaw chieftain: Much gold you to me also owe.
Audun Golden Finger: I to you all much gold owe, and my coffers shall to you tomorrow shall open.
Third outlaw chieftain: But tomorrow the day of sacrifice be and all coffers are shuttered?
Audun Golden Finger: Mine coffers open shall be.
(Audun lets the hall burn to the ground. The outlaw chieftains will not again in this saga appear)
Eleventh skin. This in another field happens.
Frode: Have you from Jostein heard?
Man: In that barn Jostein with Petre the Galore of Pussy be.
Frode: In truth Jostein safe and well and happy is.
Tall German Man: My eyes misty grows.
Twelfth skin. This on the high seas happens.
Audun Golden Finger: You for the last time have me stopped, Jostein.
(Audun and Jostein fight. Audun into the waves is thrown. Audun out of this saga is)
Jostein: Now you to Helheim shall swim.
(This saga ended is. Jostein shall return)
THE YEOMAN WITH THE GILDED CROSSBOW
See: http://www.ajb007.co.uk/topic/47380/ajb-presents-william-shakespeares-james-bond-in/
#1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.GF 4.GE 5.DN 6.FYEO 7.FRWL 8.TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT/QOS
See: http://www.ajb007.co.uk/topic/47380/ajb-presents-william-shakespeares-james-bond-in/
#1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.GF 4.GE 5.DN 6.FYEO 7.FRWL 8.TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT/QOS
The Squire Of The Lego Fortress:
"Indeed it pains me greatly good Sir James, that the Soverign Witch of Calculation decread your wisdom and cunning were forestalled."
Regent Of The Lego Fotress
"In council of toxic judgement, I will seek an audience and narration of my ward and bretherin should it please me master squire!!"
See: http://www.ajb007.co.uk/topic/47380/ajb-presents-william-shakespeares-james-bond-in/
Adult Movie Awards ? :v
It weighs heavy on my heart indeed, the unending Depths of Verbal slurry our local innkeeper can stoop, in intention of afflicting our company with vulgarised wit!
Indeed it is not I of cleaner spirit and higher vitrtue, to consider the base level concerns of Such ill humour.
(Farts) It is with regret that sometimes the flesh does not follow the same virtue as that of the spirit. Pardon my transgression.
PHYSICIAN, NAY
See: http://www.ajb007.co.uk/topic/47380/ajb-presents-william-shakespeares-james-bond-in/
#1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.GF 4.GE 5.DN 6.FYEO 7.FRWL 8.TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT/QOS