Act 5, Scene 1. (Sir James ist captured by Jaws whilst sailing up a fjord) Still to be done.
Not much dialogue here. Sir James sails the Old Wizard's boat up a fjord, is chased by Jaws, almost escapes before being captured. Possibly a fight with a dragon? (Not too many pythons that far north)
(It's on the previous page along with the assembled other closing scenes)
From a hill top a yeoman of Sir Hugo doth give a commentary to his master of the
Chase between Jaws and Sir James....
Yoeman: Jaws doth give chase my lord ! Using a short bow, with many arrows. Sir James hath pulled
A lever and a small trebuchet hath appeared at the back of his boat, and he hath launched a boulder
At the valiant Jaws, but it doth miss and Jaws continues his advance on the English knight !
Sir Hugo: Good, see that some harm comes to him!
Yoeman: the rowers are catching up with Sir James, he hath nowhere to run
Sir Hugo: soon he'll be out of my misery
Yoeman: odd sire ? Sir James hath stopped rowing, and thrown his anchor over the side...
... And doth tie the end to his rowlocks !
Sir Hugo: Forsooth ! That must verily hurt !
Yoeman: No sire, it's where his oar rests, ... He's standing up .... He doth surrender my lord !
Sir Hugo: Excellent, Jaws wilt finish him !
Yoeman: They have come alongside, .... Um? ... Something is wrong sire ! Their boat doth
Continue a pace ! .... They are caught in a current ... Sir James is waving goodbye to them ..
Look sire ! ( The yoeman doth give his telescope to sir Hugo )
Sir Hugo: Blast, they've been caught in a whirlpool, tis why Bond dropped his anchor,he must
Have seen it ! Damn him to hell
Yoeman: Tis Monday my lord .
Sir Hugo: They have been pulled under ! ....... Damn, that was a new boat too !
Below, Sir James doth pull himself away from the whirlpool, and raising anchor
Doth row to shore . In his Anger Sir Hugo doth throw his telescope at him !
Yoeman: You missed sire
(Sir Hugo the Pushes his yoeman off the cliff )
Sir Hugo : Did I, ... Girlfriend !
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Good. But perhaps it would be funnier if Drax's comments where not only from his actual perspective, but also from his moral perspective?
In other words, to Drax the hero is Jaws and Bond is the villan. One could Let the yeoman hald the spyglass and do most of the commenting and wait until half into the scene until he uses the actual names of the two.
(a wooded area, Sir James is exploring, and spies a beautiful woman so follows...)
Sir James: what beith thine name fare maiden ?
Maiden: I am called Hudler, and want you to find what thy seek
follow this path,... but take care you may be tested.
( suddendly the maiden was gone, so Sir James pressed on, coming
to a pool, He did see her again, beckoning )
Sir James: If you forgive me I'll take the path less travelled.
( Sir James uses some near by stepping stones to cross, but one is not firm
and doth cause him to fall in. )
Hudler: Forgive me kind sir, but I am a servant of the Lord Drax, you are about
to face the most dangerous creature of the sea, the deadly deep sea Ninja Penguin !
( Sir James doth battle with the wild beast, only getting the better of the vile creature
by using his fierce Tarzan yell,lifting it high and throwing it across the pool to subdue
the beast.
Sir James is lifted from the pool by Jaws, only to face Sir Hugo once more )
Sir Hugo: You disapoint me Bond, why did ye stopith thine battle
Sir James: I had to Pick up a Penguin
sir Hugo: Jaws, bring him !
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
(I was wondering if FRWL could play on Romanova and Juliet? - or the Romanovas and the Capulets - but that's for another time.)
Instead of spyglass, how about a sexton? That's a tad more nautical:
(The throneroom of Sir Miles.)
Sir Miles: Old Wizard, canst thou find Naught Naught Seven?
Old Wizard: Mine liege, take hold of my sextant...
Sir Miles: Hast thou taken leave of thine senses, Wizard?
Old Wizard: Nay, mine liege, this sextant is a nautical compass - mayhap it gives us directions to Naught Naught Seven...
I'm all for that, since they seem lacking now.
Please, pick one! And we'll go through it revising & adding. My pick would be http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/867478/#p867478 but your choice is okay with me.
As Bond might say, I'm buried with work at the moment, so it will be a while for me at least
Before getting stuck back in, but in the mean time would we all qualify as a bunch of ......
..... Inglorious Bard-sters ? or Thunderbards ?
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Maiden: Sent by Dame Miles have I been to assess thee, Sir James. Thou do ride thine carriage most exceeding fast, and I do question if this be necessary, as it not beith a Delorean !
( A joke about hitting 88mph. ?)
Sir James; Many times it is, fair maiden. (A carriage driven by a tall dark maiden doth overtake them.)
A chase doth ensue , both carriages being driven frantically, passing a line of leprosy sufferers, causing them
To fall, knocking limbs off )
Sir James: They've, gone to pieces !.
Maiden: stop this carriage and the puns Now !
(Sir James doth comply with the lady's request)
Sir James: look upon my lack of resistance to thine request, fair Maiden
I hath no problem with feminine authority, indeed I would look forward to
Someone licking me in to shape, taking me in hand, offering lip service ...
Maiden: Sir James, Really ! Thy doth simply try to show off the size of thine ....
Sir James: Pardon fair maiden, it's these tights I usually wear a thicker denier !
Please drink with me this fine mead, before giving me thine decision.
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
) Works for me!
(Sir James pursues ye other carriage.)
Maiden: I prithee, slow down, Sir James, thou art merely showing off the size of thine...
Sir James: ... equipment?
Maiden: Horsepower! Stop this carriage forthwith!
There should be a discussion between Bond and the maiden in the carriage about why he's driving so fast:
Maid: "Slow down, sir! Me think milord is merely displayet the virility of......"
Sir Bond: "My horses, perchance?"
Maid: "No, rater the size of......
Sir Bond: "My carriage?"
(this needs more work)
When sir Alex dies in the end, Bond says: "I assure you, sir, you will only die twice!"
Alex agrees: "Twice will suffice, since I only die once in all my other plays."
Comments
I tried to find a nautical euphemism, but I couldn't find one. Can anyone contribute?
LALD: Liveth and Grant to Expire
I think the crystal ball is funnier, though.
What do you think of Liveth and Grant to Expire?
Depart Anoth'r Day
Demise Anoth'r Day
Drown Anoth'r Day
(And there's still one more scene to write)
(It's on the previous page along with the assembled other closing scenes)
Chase between Jaws and Sir James....
Yoeman: Jaws doth give chase my lord ! Using a short bow, with many arrows. Sir James hath pulled
A lever and a small trebuchet hath appeared at the back of his boat, and he hath launched a boulder
At the valiant Jaws, but it doth miss and Jaws continues his advance on the English knight !
Sir Hugo: Good, see that some harm comes to him!
Yoeman: the rowers are catching up with Sir James, he hath nowhere to run
Sir Hugo: soon he'll be out of my misery
Yoeman: odd sire ? Sir James hath stopped rowing, and thrown his anchor over the side...
... And doth tie the end to his rowlocks !
Sir Hugo: Forsooth ! That must verily hurt !
Yoeman: No sire, it's where his oar rests, ... He's standing up .... He doth surrender my lord !
Sir Hugo: Excellent, Jaws wilt finish him !
Yoeman: They have come alongside, .... Um? ... Something is wrong sire ! Their boat doth
Continue a pace ! .... They are caught in a current ... Sir James is waving goodbye to them ..
Look sire ! ( The yoeman doth give his telescope to sir Hugo )
Sir Hugo: Blast, they've been caught in a whirlpool, tis why Bond dropped his anchor,he must
Have seen it ! Damn him to hell
Yoeman: Tis Monday my lord .
Sir Hugo: They have been pulled under ! ....... Damn, that was a new boat too !
Below, Sir James doth pull himself away from the whirlpool, and raising anchor
Doth row to shore . In his Anger Sir Hugo doth throw his telescope at him !
Yoeman: You missed sire
(Sir Hugo the Pushes his yoeman off the cliff )
Sir Hugo : Did I, ... Girlfriend !
In other words, to Drax the hero is Jaws and Bond is the villan. One could Let the yeoman hald the spyglass and do most of the commenting and wait until half into the scene until he uses the actual names of the two.
Sir James: what beith thine name fare maiden ?
Maiden: I am called Hudler, and want you to find what thy seek
follow this path,... but take care you may be tested.
( suddendly the maiden was gone, so Sir James pressed on, coming
to a pool, He did see her again, beckoning )
Sir James: If you forgive me I'll take the path less travelled.
( Sir James uses some near by stepping stones to cross, but one is not firm
and doth cause him to fall in. )
Hudler: Forgive me kind sir, but I am a servant of the Lord Drax, you are about
to face the most dangerous creature of the sea, the deadly deep sea Ninja Penguin !
( Sir James doth battle with the wild beast, only getting the better of the vile creature
by using his fierce Tarzan yell,lifting it high and throwing it across the pool to subdue
the beast.
Sir James is lifted from the pool by Jaws, only to face Sir Hugo once more )
Sir Hugo: You disapoint me Bond, why did ye stopith thine battle
Sir James: I had to Pick up a Penguin
sir Hugo: Jaws, bring him !
Now, that was the longest adventure yet! Is everyone happy with it?
(I was wondering if FRWL could play on Romanova and Juliet? - or the Romanovas and the Capulets - but that's for another time.)
Instead of spyglass, how about a sexton? That's a tad more nautical:
(The throneroom of Sir Miles.)
Sir Miles: Old Wizard, canst thou find Naught Naught Seven?
Old Wizard: Mine liege, take hold of my sextant...
Sir Miles: Hast thou taken leave of thine senses, Wizard?
Old Wizard: Nay, mine liege, this sextant is a nautical compass - mayhap it gives us directions to Naught Naught Seven...
Please, pick one! And we'll go through it revising & adding. My pick would be http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/867478/#p867478 but your choice is okay with me.
Before getting stuck back in, but in the mean time would we all qualify as a bunch of ......
..... Inglorious Bard-sters ? or Thunderbards ?
Yes, we can probably add new ideas and make them even better.
It would make sense to revisit that one.
See http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/867481/#p867481
See http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/867481/#p867481
(Longer? Funnier?)
( A joke about hitting 88mph. ?)
Sir James; Many times it is, fair maiden. (A carriage driven by a tall dark maiden doth overtake them.)
A chase doth ensue , both carriages being driven frantically, passing a line of leprosy sufferers, causing them
To fall, knocking limbs off )
Sir James: They've, gone to pieces !.
Maiden: stop this carriage and the puns Now !
(Sir James doth comply with the lady's request)
Sir James: look upon my lack of resistance to thine request, fair Maiden
I hath no problem with feminine authority, indeed I would look forward to
Someone licking me in to shape, taking me in hand, offering lip service ...
Maiden: Sir James, Really ! Thy doth simply try to show off the size of thine ....
Sir James: Pardon fair maiden, it's these tights I usually wear a thicker denier !
Please drink with me this fine mead, before giving me thine decision.
(Sir James pursues ye other carriage.)
Maiden: I prithee, slow down, Sir James, thou art merely showing off the size of thine...
Sir James: ... equipment?
Maiden: Horsepower! Stop this carriage forthwith!
Maid: "Slow down, sir! Me think milord is merely displayet the virility of......"
Sir Bond: "My horses, perchance?"
Maid: "No, rater the size of......
Sir Bond: "My carriage?"
(this needs more work)
When sir Alex dies in the end, Bond says: "I assure you, sir, you will only die twice!"
Alex agrees: "Twice will suffice, since I only die once in all my other plays."