Isn't "From Moscowy, with Affection" better?
It sounds better and Russia didn't Expendables beyond the Urals at that time. I think the country was called the Czardom of Moscowy at that time. I know historical correctnes isn't high on our list of prioriteres, but when history isn't a hindrance or even is helpfull we should use it.
Should the Code machine just be a key to a Code written on a parchment?
Act 1, Scene 1. A garden. (Sir James walks with caution through a garden, he doth appear unusually nervous. A well-muscled blond man in blue swimming trunks doth follow him.)
(More)
Intermission. A belly dancer doth entertain while exotic music ist played.
Act 2, Scene 1. Many watch while two men doth play chess. Ye tension mounts as each plays, then one produces a green trainer and wipes the other's pieces from the board.
Losing Man: My congratulations, sir. A brilliant shoe. (Ye victor coldly ignores ye spectators and leaves.)
Act 1, Scene 1. A garden.
(Sir James walks with caution through a garden, he doth appear unusually nervous. A well-muscled blond man in blue swimming trunks doth follow him. Almost like a dance they two men move through the formal garden......
The Blond man down step on a twig, the loud snap is heard by Sir James, who doth change his direction . The Blond
Man steps back on to a cat, who doth squeal loudly, Again Sir James looks around. Stepping again the Blond man
Steps on a whoopee cushion, letting forth a loud Farting sound ! Sir James sniffs the air, then checks his shoes.
Quickly the Blond man steps forward, stepping on a rake, which springs up hitting him directly in his most private
Part, he doth cry out a loud expletive ! Sir James, moves in for the kill.........
....... Suddenly from behind Sir James, the Blond man appears, on his wrist a needle point pin holder ( a holder of pins needed for needle point ) , quickly he pulls out his weapon ........ A long piece of garotte wire and quickly does expell
The life from Sir James, who doth expire !
Suddenly torches are lit and a small section of the garden is illuminated, a figure approaches as the Blond man, once
Again sheaths his weapon.
Baron Morzeny: Excellent, you are getting better, this was the quickest yet,
( He bends down to remove Sir James's facemask, to reveal an unknown yoeman beneath )
Baron Morzeny: ( to his men ) place him with the others.
( His men do throw the expired yoeman, on to a nearby pile of other dead Sir James )
Blond Man: But why set so many obstacles for me this time ?
Baron Morzeny: Oh Sorry, my fault. My Daughter had her birthday party out here today
and I just haven't had the time to clear up, but please come inside for some cake and
A game of Kerplunk .......
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Intermission. A belly dancer doth entertain while exotic music ist played.
Act 2, Scene 1. Many watch while two men doth play chess. One reaches for a glass of water and
Notices a note beneath " I have a green complete Faberg egg, come at once "
Chess master 1: behold I hath penetrated thy Queen with my exposed Bishop.
Chess Master 2: um ? ..... Now how does the little horsey thing move again ?
Ye tension mounts as each plays, then one produces a green trainer and wipes the other's pieces from the board.
Losing chess master: My congratulations, sir. A brilliant shoe.
Winning Chess master: I feel a heel for leaving like this !
(Ye victor coldly ignores ye spectators and leaves.)
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
(A boat.)
Comte de Blofeld: I prithee, Colonel Klebb, look ye at mine Norwegian Wrestling Snails. Brave, but on the whole stupid. See how these two fight... Well, they will eventually... Just keep watching.... Not long now...
Klebb: I doth see, Number One, 'tis most amusing.
Comte: Thou art not here to be amused! Ah, look, yon snail hast moved a bit.
(Enter Kronsteen)
Kronsteen: Thou didst send for me, Number One?
Comte: Ssh, wait a moment... ye snail ist moving...(Ten minutes later, with much uncomfortable coughing from Klebb and Kronsteen.)..Oh well, I doth suppose we shouldst begin. Kronsteen, hast thou finished thine plan?
Kronsteen: Aye, Number One, mine wonderful plan ist ready.
Blofeld: - The Norsemen show up in thousands, half the population, to view the snails wrestle. A quick fight can be over in little more than a day, but the Norwegians prefer it if the snails take their time.
Of topic, I guess, but are the brown snails an international problem? They destroy gardens and spread like slimy, slow-moving wildfire. My sister and her four year-old son regularely go on hunting trips in the garden to find and kill them.
Act 1, Scene 1. A garden. (Sir James walks with caution through a garden, he doth appear unusually nervous. A well-muscled blond man in blue swimming trunks doth follow him. Almost like a dance the two men move through ye formal garden......
The blond man steps down on a twig, ye loud snap ist heard by Sir James, who doth change his direction. The blond man steps back onto a cat, who doth squeal loudly. Again Sir James looks around. Walking again the blond man steps on a whoopee cushion, letting forth a loud farting sound! Sir James sniffs the air, then checks his shoes.
Quickly the blond man paces forward, stepping on a rake, which springs up hitting him directly in his most private part. He doth cry out a loud expletive! Sir James moves in for the kill...
... Suddenly from behind Sir James the blond man appears, on his wrist a needle point pin holder (a holder of pins needed for needle point), quickly he stands on a box, pulls out his weapon- a long piece of garotte wire and does expel ye life from Sir James, who doth expire!
Suddenly torches are lit and a small section of ye garden ist illuminated. A figure approaches as the blond man once again sheathes his weapon.)
Baron Morzeny: Excellent, thou art getting better, this was ye quickest yet. (He bends down to remove Sir James's facemask, to reveal an unknown yeoman beneath.)
Baron Morzeny: (To his men.) Place him with ye others. (His men do throw ye expired yeoman onto a nearby pile of other dead Sir James Bonds.)
Blond Man: But why set so many obstacles for me this time?
Baron Morzeny: Oh sorry, my fault. Mine daughter had her birthday party out here today and I just haven't had the time to clear up, but please come inside for some layer cake and a game of Kerplunk .......
Intermission. A belly dancer doth entertain while exotic music ist played.
Act 2, Scene 1. A great hall.
(Many watch while two men doth play chess. One reaches for a glass of water and notices a note beneath "I have a green complete Faberge egg, come at once.”)
Chessmaster 1: Behold, I hath penetrated thy Queen with my exposed Bishop.
Chessmaster 2: Um? ..... Now how does the little horsey thing move again? (Ye tension mounts as each plays, then one produces a green trainer and wipes ye other's pieces from the board.)
Losing Chessmaster: My congratulations, sir. A brilliant shoe.
Winning Chessmaster: I feel a heel for leaving like this! (He coldly ignores ye applauding spectators and leaves.)
(A boat.)
Comte de Blofeld: I prithee, Colonel Klebb, look ye at mine Norwegian Wrestling Snails. The Norsemen show up in thousands, half the population, to view the snails wrestle. A quick fight can be over in little more than a day, but the Norwegians prefer it if the snails take their time. Brave, but on the whole stupid.
Klebb: Ye Norsemen or ye snails?
Comte: Hm, tricky. See how these two fight... Well, they will eventually... Just keep watching.... Not long now...
Klebb: I doth see, Number One, 'tis most amusing.
Comte: Thou art not here to be amused! Ah, look, yon snail hast moved a bit. (Enter Kronsteen, ye winning Chessmaster.)
Kronsteen: Thou didst send for me, Number One?
Comte: Ssh, wait a moment... ye snail ist moving... (Ten minutes later, with much uncomfortable coughing from Klebb and Kronsteen.)...Oh well, I doth suppose we shouldst begin. Kronsteen, hast thou finished thine plan?
Kronsteen: Aye, Number One, mine wonderful plan ist ready. 'Tis our intention to take from ye Tsars a most precious parchment, their Hannibal Lektor code, and demand payment for its return. And ye magnificence of mine scheme ist that those from Albion shall do ye stealing for us using their foremost servant of discretion, Sir James Bond.
Klebb: Art thou certain thine plan willst succeed?
Kronsteen: Aye, for since it ist most clearly a trap then ye Britons willst happily enter into it, sure that they canst win. Number One?
Comte: (Distracted by ye snails.) Hmm? Oh, yes, good plan. Colonel Klebb, art thine people ready?
Klebb: Aye, mine liege, I have selected a man named Crai.. er, Grant to put an end to Sir James, and also a young maiden to act as lure.
Comte: Then let the plan commence! ....Lo, I am sure this snail hath moved...
When Kerim Bey and Bond visit the underground water reservoir..... should we make it the sewage?
And what should we use instead of the periscope? Is Bond sticking his head up the privy?
Act 2, Scene 2. Colonel Klebb sits in an office. She doth reach into her bag and produce two mannequins.
Klebb: (Little girly voice.) "Oh, thou doth love me just a little bit, mine darling?" (Butch voice.) "Nay, only thine body do I desire!" (Little girly voice.) "Then take me, take me!" (Enter Tania.)
Tania: Thou hast sent for me, Colonel Klebb?
Klebb: (Frantically hiding her playthings.) Ah, Romanova, aye I hast sent for thee... thou didst not see anything just there?
Tania: Nay, Colonel, I didst not see thee playing with thine dolls at all.
Klebb: Romanova, thou hast been selected for a most important mission.
....
Anyone seen "Spaceballs"? ) ) cos that's where I pinched this bit from!
Act 2, Scene 3. A secret training place.
Baron Morzeny: Most honoured I am that thou hast come, Colonel Klebb.
Klebb: Time ist short, Baron, where ist ye man for our mission?
Baron Morzeny: Grant! (Enter Grant, still clad in blue swimming trunks.)
Klebb: Hm, he hast pretty teeth.
Baron Morzeny: And he shows them pearly white.
Klebb: Doth he have a jackknife?
Baron Morzeny: Aye, but he doth keep it out of sight.
Act 2, Scene 2. Colonel Klebb sits in an office. She doth reach into her bag and produce two mannequins.
Klebb: (Little girly voice.) "Oh, thou doth love me just a little bit, mine darling?" (Butch voice.) "Nay, only thine body do I desire!" (Little girly voice.) "Then take me, take me!"
(Enter Tania.)
Tania: Thou hast sent for me, Colonel Klebb?
Klebb: (Frantically hiding her playthings.) Ah, Romanova, aye I hast sent for thee... thou didst not see anything just there?
Tania: Nay, Colonel, I didst not see thee playing with thine dolls at all.
Klebb: Romanova, thou hast been selected for a most important mission I see you were a professional ballet dancer, do you still
Get the residuals ?
Tania: only in the winter months.
Klebb: .. they you tried pole dancing ?
Tania: yes, but in Poland all dancing is !
Klebb: then you had five lovers ...
Tania: that can't be right, why such a personal quest .......
Klebb: Sorry, misread. Twenty-two lovers.
Tania: yes, I was young and in love and Both football teams were so cute. Oh it was a marvelous
Afternoon !
Klebb: could you love this man ? ( She hand across a likeness, sketched on a parchment )
Tania: I don't know, with his orange skin, small hands and very odd hair I ....
Klebb: Sorry, wrong likeness, that beith The Donald, he is a good friend of Tsar Putin, they are in
My monthly sketch parchment collection of " Strong Men of the month " it builds over 24 months
To a complete collector's edition ! Here, this beith the Man ...
Tania: perhaps if he was kind to me, ...... Had the body of an Olympic athlete... And had the wedding
Tackle of an enormous bull elephant !
Klebb: Then you now have a real " Labour of Love " from now on you are to do whatever he asks !
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Act 2, Scene 3. A secret training place.
Baron Morzeny: Most honoured I am that thou hast come, Colonel Klebb.
Klebb: Time ist short, Baron, where ist ye man for our mission?
Baron Morzeny: Quickest way ist through the training area,
Klebb: then lead on !
( They cross into a section layer out for knights training .. )
Baron Morzeny: I hopeith thee approves ?
Klebb: I prefer experience !
Baron Morzeny: So do we, all our people must preform before a panel of judges, on an emotional journey,
To make each technique their own, each week, one by one they must face elimination, .... Until there is one
Winner. It's not enough just to be an assassin, you need something an ...... X Factor if you will.
Klebb: Hath Grant got an X ?
Baron Morzeny: Sorry, I don't know much about his love life, ........ Grant !
( Enter Grant, still clad in blue swimming trunks.)
Klebb: Hm, he hast pretty teeth.
Baron Morzeny: And he shows them pearly white.
Klebb: Doth he have a jackknife?
Baron Morzeny: Aye, but he doth keep it out of sight
( Unseen by all Klebb, removes a haddock from a bag and slaps Grant in the face, ..... He doesn't flinch )
Klebb: he seems ready have Craig...... Sorry Grant , given his travel documents.
Baron Morzeny: at once ! Now how about some cake and a game of kerplunk ?
( Klebb just turns and leaves ....)
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Passing Boatsman: I love an afternoon in a punt.
Sir James: I couldst not agree more. (An arrow ist fired into a tree above their heads. Sir James reads ye message attached.)
Sir James: Alack, Duchess Sylvia, I must away.
Duchess Sylvia: Again? I hast not seen thee in six months.
(Sir James doth lie in a boat with Duchess Sylvia.)
Passing Boatsman: I love an afternoon in a punt.
Sir James: What didst he call me ?
Duchess Sylvia: nay he said he loved a good punt !
Sir James: I couldst not agree more. The fresh air, the exercise, manys the time
I've worked up a sweat with my shaft in mine hand !
Duchess Sylvia: it beith a Pole, Sir James.
Sir James: what didst thee call me ?
Duchess Sylvia: thy Shaft is a Pole !
Sir James: aye, and don't thee forget it.
(An arrow ist fired into a tree above their heads. Sir James reads ye message attached.)
Sir James: tis time for business.
Duchess Sylvia: Good, I've been looking forward to getting " the business "
Sir James: nay, this smacks of an official hand
Duchess Sylvia: oh ! Sir James !, Any smacking by your hand is most welcome, official not not.
Sir James: Alack, Duchess Sylvia, I must away. Albion is in need of my good service.
Duchess Sylvia: Again? I hast not seen thee in six months ..... I too be in need of a good .....
Sir James: Soon my love, soon. Truly for you My Ardor growith .......
Duchess Sylvia: true, judging by thine hose, they leave little to the imagination.
Sir James: ...... But for now I must gird up my loins, and away !
(Sylvia, doth push Sir James back against the tree, and begins to kiss with a passion )
Duchess Sylvia: How about your loins now ?
Sir James: I thinkith the realm will be safe for another hour, .... Hour and a half, at least .....
( They fall back into the hedgerow, with much merriment .... )
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Act 3, Scene 2. the throne room of Sir Miles Messervy.
Moneypenny: Thou wert summoned some time ago, Sir James.
Sir James: An old case I had to go into.
Moneypenny: Aye, and most thoroughly too I wouldst imagine.
Sir Miles: A most curious situation hast arisen, Naught Naught Seven, in Istanbul.
Sir James: Not Constantinople?
Sir Miles: Istanbul was Constantinople, now it's Istanbul not Constantinople, so if you've a case in Constantinople it'll be in Istanbul. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG7xMTMdaLA It doth concern a Tatiana Romanova.
Sir James: I hast never heard of a Tatiana Romanova.
Sir Miles: Mayhap, but she hast heard of thee. Thine likeness on a scroll she hast seen, and for thee she now bears great affection- great enough that she ist willing to impart unto us the Tsars' most secret Hannibal Lektor code.
Sir James: A most precious code!
Sir Miles: Aye, but she doth insist that thou must come to Istanbul to meet, and bring both her and ye code back to Albion.
Comments
You like to see ?
It sounds better and Russia didn't Expendables beyond the Urals at that time. I think the country was called the Czardom of Moscowy at that time. I know historical correctnes isn't high on our list of prioriteres, but when history isn't a hindrance or even is helpfull we should use it.
Should the Code machine just be a key to a Code written on a parchment?
Well, that didn't take long.... 5 minutes!!!
N24, how about From Moscow, With Great Affection? We've been using "great affection" for "love" elsewhere.
(Sir James walks with caution through a garden, he doth appear unusually nervous. A well-muscled blond man in blue swimming trunks doth follow him.)
(More)
Intermission. A belly dancer doth entertain while exotic music ist played.
Act 2, Scene 1. Many watch while two men doth play chess. Ye tension mounts as each plays, then one produces a green trainer and wipes the other's pieces from the board.
Losing Man: My congratulations, sir. A brilliant shoe.
(Ye victor coldly ignores ye spectators and leaves.)
(Sir James walks with caution through a garden, he doth appear unusually nervous. A well-muscled blond man in blue swimming trunks doth follow him. Almost like a dance they two men move through the formal garden......
The Blond man down step on a twig, the loud snap is heard by Sir James, who doth change his direction . The Blond
Man steps back on to a cat, who doth squeal loudly, Again Sir James looks around. Stepping again the Blond man
Steps on a whoopee cushion, letting forth a loud Farting sound ! Sir James sniffs the air, then checks his shoes.
Quickly the Blond man steps forward, stepping on a rake, which springs up hitting him directly in his most private
Part, he doth cry out a loud expletive ! Sir James, moves in for the kill.........
....... Suddenly from behind Sir James, the Blond man appears, on his wrist a needle point pin holder ( a holder of pins needed for needle point ) , quickly he pulls out his weapon ........ A long piece of garotte wire and quickly does expell
The life from Sir James, who doth expire !
Suddenly torches are lit and a small section of the garden is illuminated, a figure approaches as the Blond man, once
Again sheaths his weapon.
Baron Morzeny: Excellent, you are getting better, this was the quickest yet,
( He bends down to remove Sir James's facemask, to reveal an unknown yoeman beneath )
Baron Morzeny: ( to his men ) place him with the others.
( His men do throw the expired yoeman, on to a nearby pile of other dead Sir James )
Blond Man: But why set so many obstacles for me this time ?
Baron Morzeny: Oh Sorry, my fault. My Daughter had her birthday party out here today
and I just haven't had the time to clear up, but please come inside for some cake and
A game of Kerplunk .......
Act 2, Scene 1. Many watch while two men doth play chess. One reaches for a glass of water and
Notices a note beneath " I have a green complete Faberg egg, come at once "
Chess master 1: behold I hath penetrated thy Queen with my exposed Bishop.
Chess Master 2: um ? ..... Now how does the little horsey thing move again ?
Ye tension mounts as each plays, then one produces a green trainer and wipes the other's pieces from the board.
Losing chess master: My congratulations, sir. A brilliant shoe.
Winning Chess master: I feel a heel for leaving like this !
(Ye victor coldly ignores ye spectators and leaves.)
(A boat.)
Comte de Blofeld: I prithee, Colonel Klebb, look ye at mine Norwegian Wrestling Snails. Brave, but on the whole stupid. See how these two fight... Well, they will eventually... Just keep watching.... Not long now...
Klebb: I doth see, Number One, 'tis most amusing.
Comte: Thou art not here to be amused! Ah, look, yon snail hast moved a bit.
(Enter Kronsteen)
Kronsteen: Thou didst send for me, Number One?
Comte: Ssh, wait a moment... ye snail ist moving...(Ten minutes later, with much uncomfortable coughing from Klebb and Kronsteen.)..Oh well, I doth suppose we shouldst begin. Kronsteen, hast thou finished thine plan?
Kronsteen: Aye, Number One, mine wonderful plan ist ready.
Blofeld: - The Norsemen show up in thousands, half the population, to view the snails wrestle. A quick fight can be over in little more than a day, but the Norwegians prefer it if the snails take their time.
Was the suggested line in the post above OK?
Act 1, Scene 1. A garden.
(Sir James walks with caution through a garden, he doth appear unusually nervous. A well-muscled blond man in blue swimming trunks doth follow him. Almost like a dance the two men move through ye formal garden......
The blond man steps down on a twig, ye loud snap ist heard by Sir James, who doth change his direction. The blond man steps back onto a cat, who doth squeal loudly. Again Sir James looks around. Walking again the blond man steps on a whoopee cushion, letting forth a loud farting sound! Sir James sniffs the air, then checks his shoes.
Quickly the blond man paces forward, stepping on a rake, which springs up hitting him directly in his most private part. He doth cry out a loud expletive! Sir James moves in for the kill...
... Suddenly from behind Sir James the blond man appears, on his wrist a needle point pin holder (a holder of pins needed for needle point), quickly he stands on a box, pulls out his weapon- a long piece of garotte wire and does expel ye life from Sir James, who doth expire!
Suddenly torches are lit and a small section of ye garden ist illuminated. A figure approaches as the blond man once again sheathes his weapon.)
Baron Morzeny: Excellent, thou art getting better, this was ye quickest yet.
(He bends down to remove Sir James's facemask, to reveal an unknown yeoman beneath.)
Baron Morzeny: (To his men.) Place him with ye others.
(His men do throw ye expired yeoman onto a nearby pile of other dead Sir James Bonds.)
Blond Man: But why set so many obstacles for me this time?
Baron Morzeny: Oh sorry, my fault. Mine daughter had her birthday party out here today and I just haven't had the time to clear up, but please come inside for some layer cake and a game of Kerplunk .......
Intermission. A belly dancer doth entertain while exotic music ist played.
Act 2, Scene 1. A great hall.
(Many watch while two men doth play chess. One reaches for a glass of water and notices a note beneath "I have a green complete Faberge egg, come at once.”)
Chessmaster 1: Behold, I hath penetrated thy Queen with my exposed Bishop.
Chessmaster 2: Um? ..... Now how does the little horsey thing move again?
(Ye tension mounts as each plays, then one produces a green trainer and wipes ye other's pieces from the board.)
Losing Chessmaster: My congratulations, sir. A brilliant shoe.
Winning Chessmaster: I feel a heel for leaving like this!
(He coldly ignores ye applauding spectators and leaves.)
(A boat.)
Comte de Blofeld: I prithee, Colonel Klebb, look ye at mine Norwegian Wrestling Snails. The Norsemen show up in thousands, half the population, to view the snails wrestle. A quick fight can be over in little more than a day, but the Norwegians prefer it if the snails take their time. Brave, but on the whole stupid.
Klebb: Ye Norsemen or ye snails?
Comte: Hm, tricky. See how these two fight... Well, they will eventually... Just keep watching.... Not long now...
Klebb: I doth see, Number One, 'tis most amusing.
Comte: Thou art not here to be amused! Ah, look, yon snail hast moved a bit.
(Enter Kronsteen, ye winning Chessmaster.)
Kronsteen: Thou didst send for me, Number One?
Comte: Ssh, wait a moment... ye snail ist moving... (Ten minutes later, with much uncomfortable coughing from Klebb and Kronsteen.)...Oh well, I doth suppose we shouldst begin. Kronsteen, hast thou finished thine plan?
Kronsteen: Aye, Number One, mine wonderful plan ist ready. 'Tis our intention to take from ye Tsars a most precious parchment, their Hannibal Lektor code, and demand payment for its return. And ye magnificence of mine scheme ist that those from Albion shall do ye stealing for us using their foremost servant of discretion, Sir James Bond.
Klebb: Art thou certain thine plan willst succeed?
Kronsteen: Aye, for since it ist most clearly a trap then ye Britons willst happily enter into it, sure that they canst win. Number One?
Comte: (Distracted by ye snails.) Hmm? Oh, yes, good plan. Colonel Klebb, art thine people ready?
Klebb: Aye, mine liege, I have selected a man named Crai.. er, Grant to put an end to Sir James, and also a young maiden to act as lure.
Comte: Then let the plan commence! ....Lo, I am sure this snail hath moved...
And what should we use instead of the periscope? Is Bond sticking his head up the privy?
Klebb: (Little girly voice.) "Oh, thou doth love me just a little bit, mine darling?" (Butch voice.) "Nay, only thine body do I desire!" (Little girly voice.) "Then take me, take me!"
(Enter Tania.)
Tania: Thou hast sent for me, Colonel Klebb?
Klebb: (Frantically hiding her playthings.) Ah, Romanova, aye I hast sent for thee... thou didst not see anything just there?
Tania: Nay, Colonel, I didst not see thee playing with thine dolls at all.
Klebb: Romanova, thou hast been selected for a most important mission.
....
Anyone seen "Spaceballs"?
Baron Morzeny: Most honoured I am that thou hast come, Colonel Klebb.
Klebb: Time ist short, Baron, where ist ye man for our mission?
Baron Morzeny: Grant!
(Enter Grant, still clad in blue swimming trunks.)
Klebb: Hm, he hast pretty teeth.
Baron Morzeny: And he shows them pearly white.
Klebb: Doth he have a jackknife?
Baron Morzeny: Aye, but he doth keep it out of sight.
(Anyone get this?
Klebb: (Little girly voice.) "Oh, thou doth love me just a little bit, mine darling?" (Butch voice.) "Nay, only thine body do I desire!" (Little girly voice.) "Then take me, take me!"
(Enter Tania.)
Tania: Thou hast sent for me, Colonel Klebb?
Klebb: (Frantically hiding her playthings.) Ah, Romanova, aye I hast sent for thee... thou didst not see anything just there?
Tania: Nay, Colonel, I didst not see thee playing with thine dolls at all.
Klebb: Romanova, thou hast been selected for a most important mission I see you were a professional ballet dancer, do you still
Get the residuals ?
Tania: only in the winter months.
Klebb: .. they you tried pole dancing ?
Tania: yes, but in Poland all dancing is !
Klebb: then you had five lovers ...
Tania: that can't be right, why such a personal quest .......
Klebb: Sorry, misread. Twenty-two lovers.
Tania: yes, I was young and in love and Both football teams were so cute. Oh it was a marvelous
Afternoon !
Klebb: could you love this man ? ( She hand across a likeness, sketched on a parchment )
Tania: I don't know, with his orange skin, small hands and very odd hair I ....
Klebb: Sorry, wrong likeness, that beith The Donald, he is a good friend of Tsar Putin, they are in
My monthly sketch parchment collection of " Strong Men of the month " it builds over 24 months
To a complete collector's edition ! Here, this beith the Man ...
Tania: perhaps if he was kind to me, ...... Had the body of an Olympic athlete... And had the wedding
Tackle of an enormous bull elephant !
Klebb: Then you now have a real " Labour of Love " from now on you are to do whatever he asks !
Good, I'm glad!
Romanova! Romanova! Wherefore art thou, Romanova?
Baron Morzeny: Most honoured I am that thou hast come, Colonel Klebb.
Klebb: Time ist short, Baron, where ist ye man for our mission?
Baron Morzeny: Quickest way ist through the training area,
Klebb: then lead on !
( They cross into a section layer out for knights training .. )
Baron Morzeny: I hopeith thee approves ?
Klebb: I prefer experience !
Baron Morzeny: So do we, all our people must preform before a panel of judges, on an emotional journey,
To make each technique their own, each week, one by one they must face elimination, .... Until there is one
Winner. It's not enough just to be an assassin, you need something an ...... X Factor if you will.
Klebb: Hath Grant got an X ?
Baron Morzeny: Sorry, I don't know much about his love life, ........ Grant !
( Enter Grant, still clad in blue swimming trunks.)
Klebb: Hm, he hast pretty teeth.
Baron Morzeny: And he shows them pearly white.
Klebb: Doth he have a jackknife?
Baron Morzeny: Aye, but he doth keep it out of sight
( Unseen by all Klebb, removes a haddock from a bag and slaps Grant in the face, ..... He doesn't flinch )
Klebb: he seems ready have Craig...... Sorry Grant , given his travel documents.
Baron Morzeny: at once ! Now how about some cake and a game of kerplunk ?
( Klebb just turns and leaves ....)
Act 3, Scene 1. A river.
Sir James doth lie in a boat with Duchess Sylvia.
Passing Boatsman: I love an afternoon in a punt.
Sir James: I couldst not agree more.
(An arrow ist fired into a tree above their heads. Sir James reads ye message attached.)
Sir James: Alack, Duchess Sylvia, I must away.
Duchess Sylvia: Again? I hast not seen thee in six months.
(Sir James doth lie in a boat with Duchess Sylvia.)
Passing Boatsman: I love an afternoon in a punt.
Sir James: What didst he call me ?
Duchess Sylvia: nay he said he loved a good punt !
Sir James: I couldst not agree more. The fresh air, the exercise, manys the time
I've worked up a sweat with my shaft in mine hand !
Duchess Sylvia: it beith a Pole, Sir James.
Sir James: what didst thee call me ?
Duchess Sylvia: thy Shaft is a Pole !
Sir James: aye, and don't thee forget it.
(An arrow ist fired into a tree above their heads. Sir James reads ye message attached.)
Sir James: tis time for business.
Duchess Sylvia: Good, I've been looking forward to getting " the business "
Sir James: nay, this smacks of an official hand
Duchess Sylvia: oh ! Sir James !, Any smacking by your hand is most welcome, official not not.
Sir James: Alack, Duchess Sylvia, I must away. Albion is in need of my good service.
Duchess Sylvia: Again? I hast not seen thee in six months ..... I too be in need of a good .....
Sir James: Soon my love, soon. Truly for you My Ardor growith .......
Duchess Sylvia: true, judging by thine hose, they leave little to the imagination.
Sir James: ...... But for now I must gird up my loins, and away !
(Sylvia, doth push Sir James back against the tree, and begins to kiss with a passion )
Duchess Sylvia: How about your loins now ?
Sir James: I thinkith the realm will be safe for another hour, .... Hour and a half, at least .....
( They fall back into the hedgerow, with much merriment .... )
(See http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/806787/#p806787 for one more I've put in- it's a subtle one...)
Moneypenny: Thou wert summoned some time ago, Sir James.
Sir James: An old case I had to go into.
Moneypenny: Aye, and most thoroughly too I wouldst imagine.
Sir Miles: A most curious situation hast arisen, Naught Naught Seven, in Istanbul.
Sir James: Not Constantinople?
Sir Miles: Istanbul was Constantinople, now it's Istanbul not Constantinople, so if you've a case in Constantinople it'll be in Istanbul. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG7xMTMdaLA It doth concern a Tatiana Romanova.
Sir James: I hast never heard of a Tatiana Romanova.
Sir Miles: Mayhap, but she hast heard of thee. Thine likeness on a scroll she hast seen, and for thee she now bears great affection- great enough that she ist willing to impart unto us the Tsars' most secret Hannibal Lektor code.
Sir James: A most precious code!
Sir Miles: Aye, but she doth insist that thou must come to Istanbul to meet, and bring both her and ye code back to Albion.