Lord Felix: Thou art most tardy, Sir James.
Sir James: To the Isle of Crabs we must sail without delay. Alchemist Dent didst say ye rocks were not from that Isle.
Lord Felix: A most inferior alchemist he must be, or the worst of liars.
Quarrel: Most afraid of this isle am I, for there be a dragon who doth breath fire.
Lord Felix: Then thou must merely breathe upon him, for thou doth breathe rum.
Quarrel: Bah!
(Later, in ye sailboat.)
Lord Felix: ‘Tis best you two go on alone from here, I do fancy.
Quarrel: Fair enough. (Elbows Lord Felix into ye water.)
Lord Felix: (Growing fainter as ye boat continues.) Hey, come back you bast....
Quarrel: (Aside.) "For thou doth breathe rum", eh? Ha!
Sir James: Quarrel, what be yon house there?
Quarrel: That, Sir James, be ye house of a Major Dexter Smythe- most days thou can see him swimming from his beach, playing with his octopussies. Sometimes his pretty young daughter doth join him.
Sir James: And next to that?
Quarrel: That be ye house of the Havelocks- oddly enough, they too have a pretty young daughter.
Sir James: And then I do see some building going on.
Quarrel: Ah, that be ye Bird of Thunder boarding house- ‘tis not finished yet. Thou should take a nap, Sir James, I shalt wake thee when we near ye Isle of Crabs.
I would be extremely happy to do that one, since it's the only official one left, but I wouldn't want to attempt it on my own.
The ones without credits at the end are just by me, and are definitely inferior to those where the other members (I'll single out Thunderpussy, whose cheerfulness and sense of humour conceal his acute sense of plot and character, but not to forget Charmed & Dangerous, Number24, Thunderbird2, chrisisall, and others including yourself who have made suggestions) have thrown their ideas in. In fact, we'd started revising some of the weaker ones and improved them drastically.
I have recently started to campaign for a change in GF. The golf game should be changed into cow poo bingo.
If you start writing DAD please give us a heads up so we have time to rewatch it.
We should really do a re-work of the Die Another Day song. It's begging for it.
Frost could be Chilly, Gustav's Jamaican personal assistant.
Will our version of Wai Lin return or are we going by the film?
We should really do a re-work of the Die Another Day song. It's begging for it.
Frost could be Chilly, Gustav's Jamaican personal assistant.
Will our version of Wai Lin return or are we going by the film?
"Try another day" - a song about the struggle to write a Bond song, including finding the right genere?
Well, here's a first draft of the scene where Sir James meets Miss Hap:
A drinking place by the sea. Enter Sir James, ignoring a boorish man insulting a waiter. He doth espy a beauteous wench arising from the sea, which brings a warm smile of remembrance to his lips.
Sir James: ‘Tis a magnificent view.
Beauteous Wench: Aye, ‘tis a pity ‘tis not more appreciated. What ist thine name, good sir?
Sir James: I am he who is called Bond, James Bond. I prithee, partake of this fine beverage.
Beauteous Wench: Thou may know me as Miss Hap. Here, take hold of this gold statuette while I doth dry myself sensually with this towel.
Sir James: Mine liege Dame Miles hath one just like this, which I hath greatly admired. (Casually attempts to slip it into his pocket.)
Miss Hap: No fear, I willst have that back pronto! (Sips drink.) Mm, this beverage I could grow to like. What doth bring thee here, Sir James?
Sir James: Only here for ye birds am I, since I am an ornith... orni... bird watcher.
Miss Hap: Yea, that ist most surely a mouthful. Dost ye watch ye birds by night also?
Sir James: Nay, then ‘tis time to feast.
There once was a guy, he was short
Michael said, that's not the kind of sort
Barbara meant, don't care, he's hot
Michael replied, his blonde hair is not!
Babs insisted, it doesn't matter for the plot
And look at that perfectly rounded rear!
Michael rolled his eyes, oh Dear, oh Dear
Then Casino Royale opened to great success
But before Craigisnotbond.com made a mess
Today people wonder why did everybody cry
Everything went fine, Babs still has the say
Next up we'll get Jamie Bell
Even shorter and blonder bloody hell!
There was a day when I got Goodhead
Not the next day but Pussy Galore instead
Goodnight, Goodnight is saying quietly
At least the Russian Girl will get Onatopp of me
Honey is a good Ryder and I get Plenty
I don't need that XXX I got for twenty
Tomorrow I'll have breakfast with Tiffany
and I make Christmas come regularly
When I'm in Paris I play Domino and Solitaire
I always rise to the occasion it's just fair
Attempting re-entry as much as I want
Will give them a re-fill because I'm Bond.
No problem re us parodying the DAD song, but I'm really pleased with what's currently there in the QoS one (which may or may not express my own feelings... )
Comments
I can't think of a punchline to finish the scene
Act 3, Scene 4. A sailboat.
Lord Felix: Thou art most tardy, Sir James.
Sir James: To the Isle of Crabs we must sail without delay. Alchemist Dent didst say ye rocks were not from that Isle.
Lord Felix: A most inferior alchemist he must be, or the worst of liars.
Quarrel: Most afraid of this isle am I, for there be a dragon who doth breath fire.
Lord Felix: Then thou must merely breathe upon him, for thou doth breathe rum.
Quarrel: Bah!
Lord Felix: ‘Tis best you two go on alone from here, I do fancy.
Quarrel: Fair enough. (Elbows Lord Felix into ye water.)
Lord Felix: (Growing fainter as ye boat continues.) Hey, come back you bast....
Quarrel: (Aside.) "For thou doth breathe rum", eh? Ha!
Sir James: Quarrel, what be yon house there?
Quarrel: That, Sir James, be ye house of a Major Dexter Smythe- most days thou can see him swimming from his beach, playing with his octopussies. Sometimes his pretty young daughter doth join him.
Sir James: And next to that?
Quarrel: That be ye house of the Havelocks- oddly enough, they too have a pretty young daughter.
Sir James: And then I do see some building going on.
Quarrel: Ah, that be ye Bird of Thunder boarding house- ‘tis not finished yet. Thou should take a nap, Sir James, I shalt wake thee when we near ye Isle of Crabs.
The ones without credits at the end are just by me, and are definitely inferior to those where the other members (I'll single out Thunderpussy, whose cheerfulness and sense of humour conceal his acute sense of plot and character, but not to forget Charmed & Dangerous, Number24, Thunderbird2, chrisisall, and others including yourself who have made suggestions) have thrown their ideas in. In fact, we'd started revising some of the weaker ones and improved them drastically.
If you start writing DAD please give us a heads up so we have time to rewatch it.
Let's get working on DAD, then we can revise GF?
Frost could be Chilly, Gustav's Jamaican personal assistant.
Will our version of Wai Lin return or are we going by the film?
I wish they could all be California Colonies girls ?
"Try another day" - a song about the struggle to write a Bond song, including finding the right genere?
Or perhaps "Try another way""?
A drinking place by the sea. Enter Sir James, ignoring a boorish man insulting a waiter. He doth espy a beauteous wench arising from the sea, which brings a warm smile of remembrance to his lips.
Sir James: ‘Tis a magnificent view.
Beauteous Wench: Aye, ‘tis a pity ‘tis not more appreciated. What ist thine name, good sir?
Sir James: I am he who is called Bond, James Bond. I prithee, partake of this fine beverage.
Beauteous Wench: Thou may know me as Miss Hap. Here, take hold of this gold statuette while I doth dry myself sensually with this towel.
Sir James: Mine liege Dame Miles hath one just like this, which I hath greatly admired. (Casually attempts to slip it into his pocket.)
Miss Hap: No fear, I willst have that back pronto! (Sips drink.) Mm, this beverage I could grow to like. What doth bring thee here, Sir James?
Sir James: Only here for ye birds am I, since I am an ornith... orni... bird watcher.
Miss Hap: Yea, that ist most surely a mouthful. Dost ye watch ye birds by night also?
Sir James: Nay, then ‘tis time to feast.
I have to wake up, yes and no
I'm gonna make some theat're tune
I like to keep this secret
I have to make this music now
Ref.:
I guess, try another day (x4)
I'm gonna break the cycle
I'm gonna make a good song
It's gonna destroy my ego
I'm gonna change the tune again
Ref.:
I guess, try another way (x4)
Title: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
There once was a guy, he was short
Michael said, that's not the kind of sort
Barbara meant, don't care, he's hot
Michael replied, his blonde hair is not!
Babs insisted, it doesn't matter for the plot
And look at that perfectly rounded rear!
Michael rolled his eyes, oh Dear, oh Dear
Then Casino Royale opened to great success
But before Craigisnotbond.com made a mess
Today people wonder why did everybody cry
Everything went fine, Babs still has the say
Next up we'll get Jamie Bell
Even shorter and blonder bloody hell!
There was a day when I got Goodhead
Not the next day but Pussy Galore instead
Goodnight, Goodnight is saying quietly
At least the Russian Girl will get Onatopp of me
Honey is a good Ryder and I get Plenty
I don't need that XXX I got for twenty
Tomorrow I'll have breakfast with Tiffany
and I make Christmas come regularly
When I'm in Paris I play Domino and Solitaire
I always rise to the occasion it's just fair
Attempting re-entry as much as I want
Will give them a re-fill because I'm Bond.
I'm gonna try yet another way
There are so many more to try
I can compose another day
It's not yet time to deliver
Ref.: I guess, use another tune (x4)
I'm gonne use all clishes
I'm gonna suspend the harm'nies
It will not be a pleasure
It's gonna end my career now
Ref:
I guess, run another way (x4)
There's so much more to write
I guess I'll find...another way
It's my time to go.
For every script, I'll have to pay.
No time to work. No time to play.
I think I'll find another way
It's my time to go.
I'm gonna scratch the surface
I'm gonna shake up the forum
I'm gonna destroy my ego
I'm gonna close my 'puter now
I hope it wasn't rubbish.
See https://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/869299/#p869299