The Bond Films are all Crap !

Thunderpussy

Given the amount of negative threads on 007, I thought it might be fun
To have a thread for those fans, who love to find mistakes and scenes
They could have filmed better, or acted better or wrote better music for. )
Fans who see The Films as so dated, with fat actors playing Bond, please
Bring it on and post all your vitriolic thoughts and opinions here. leaving the
Rest of us who actually like the films to discuss, the positive and fun aspects
of Bond fandom. {[]
First point of discussion perhaps. How would YOU have improved the most
Successful film series ever made ?, I doubt I could.

Napoleon Plural

Thunderpussy's letter to Playboy: Given the number of naked women in your esteemed publication, I wonder if you'd consider filling with wall to wall t&a...

Absolutely_Cart

Only two of the Bond films were crap. The rest were all good

Thunderbird 2

I don't know what made me double take more, the title or thebperson who created the topic!

So is thus the Bond equivilent of the Star Trek Nitpickers community? A celebration of all of Bonds errors flubs and **** ups? If yes, I'll have a double exploding grouse please!

Dutchfinger

Perfect thread to rant about Bond movies I dislike TP )

Diamonds Are Forever
This just SHOULD have become the ultimate revenge story for Tracy's death, maybe even bring back Irma Bunt or Blofeld? - Let Bond be motivated by revenge and go beserk, or at the very very least: "MENTION Tracy's death!" - None of that happened in this movie, it just became one silly and wrong cartoon, in a way most of the Roger Moore movies did it right, but in DAF, none of that stuff really worked...
Why do we have to get Bond's archenemy in drag? Why the elephant with the slotmachine, why the mousetrap in Bond's pocket? Why is there a moon filmset at the research facility? Why the stupid mistake with the Mustang in the alley? Why the incredibly fake effects when the laser satelite is fired on various places on earth? - Why were the diamonds even needed to put on that satelite? - Why did Blofeld make a model of the oil rig in Baha in Mr. Whyte's penthouse?? WHY WHY??!!!

Quantum of Solace
The same story as DAF, this SHOULD have been the ultimate follow up to Casino Royale, granted, it did it a little better then DAF, which made no reference to the previous movie at all, atleast QoS was an actual follow up to CR, but still, it got it all wrong.
There's so much thrown at us as a side story, oil, action, water, a girl that got raped by a general, action, a mysterious organisation, action, a desert hotel, action. It's one big mess to me. How did they went from such a brilliant movie to this?!
They set up Quantum as this myserious organisation, so by the end of the movie you're expecting to atleast learn something about them right? We learn NOTHING! - well, Bond learns about Quantum, but we don't! - Why did they do this? It's not like you want to know every little detail or something, but if you're going to have a movie that largely features an organisation and Bond is after them for a large portion of the time figuring out a mystery along the way, we should have atleast found out something about it. Imagine DN going like this: Bond finally going to Crab Key to see unraffel the mystery behind Dr. No, he gets into the lair, then the movie skips to the end where Bond says: "Well I've find out everything about Dr. No and now I killed him... " That would pretty much be the same thing to me!! It's stupid. - It's like the writers didn't even know where they wanted to go with this movie. Just throw in all kinds of themes and in the end let Bond find his Solace. Oh and in the meantime lets give the action scenes a theme of Water, Air, Earth and Fire, that way there's something deep in it...

That's why these two are ranked at the bottom )

Absolutely_Cart

Dutchfinger wrote:

Quantum of Solace
We learn NOTHING! - well, Bond learns about Quantum, but we don't! - Why did they do this?

Because of the writer's strike. Craig and Forster chose to take a very safe route instead of coming up with some weird lame backstory out of nowhere that would damage the lore. At least the flaws in Quantum of Solace were contained in Quantum of Solace.

The flaws in Diamonds Are Forever, however, stain the whole Blofeld trilogy.

Dutchfinger

Absolutely_Cart wrote:

Dutchfinger wrote:

Quantum of Solace
We learn NOTHING! - well, Bond learns about Quantum, but we don't! - Why did they do this?

Because of the writer's strike. Craig and Forster chose to take a very safe route instead of coming up with some weird lame backstory out of nowhere that would damage the lore. At least the flaws in Quantum of Solace were contained in Quantum of Solace.

The flaws in Diamonds Are Forever, however, stain the whole Blofeld trilogy.

Yeah when I heared about the writers strike shortly after seeing this in the theatres all the puzzle pieces did fit together, it got me towards some more understanding, but it didn't really help me in ranking this higher, it rather confirmed there was something wrong with the movie for me to be honest.

Peppermill

Not only do I hate all Bond movies and actors but the thing I hate most are Bond fans! Can I also talk about that on this thread? )

Thunderpussy

Get it all out Peppermill ! ) and the next time someone disrespects Sir Roger
Come along and vent again.

Jarvio

CR '67 is a pile of crap.

Absolutely_Cart

The diamonds are forever movie is crap.... rawrrrrrr

Dutchfinger

Jarvio wrote:

CR '67 is a pile of crap.

I still have to watch that one one day. But after all the reviews I've watched and all the things I heared about it, I feel I already know exactly what I am 'missing'... )

Thunderpussy

The much maligned CR67, is a wonderful piece of 60s magic, Austin Powers
Before Austin Powers. Its set design based in many ways on the early German
horror cinema, sets a standard never successfully copied outside of that genre.

Dutchfinger

Thunderpussy wrote:

The much maligned CR67, is a wonderful piece of 60s magic, Austin Powers
Before Austin Powers. Its set design based in many ways on the early German
horror cinema, sets a standard never successfully copied outside of that genre.

It's funny how you create this thread to rant about everythin fans dislike only to praise absolutely all the crap yourself )

Thunderpussy

I can't help myself, it's a knee jerk reaction ! )
( although, I'm not being totally serious in my praise of CR67)

Jarvio

Thunderpussy wrote:

The much maligned CR67, is a wonderful piece of 60s magic, Austin Powers
Before Austin Powers. Its set design based in many ways on the early German
horror cinema, sets a standard never successfully copied outside of that genre.

Nah, Austin Powers is actually funny. CR '67 is not

Thunderpussy

In the 60s if you were high on drugs, parts ..... Small parts of CR67 would have
Been funny. Not laugh out loud funny, but a slight upturn of the mouth funny.

chrisisall

Bond movies are for arrested adolescents with anti-social tendencies.

Blackleiter

What am I doing here????? I don't even like James Bond! And that Connery fellow? What a bloated, amateurish, charmless, physically awkward ninny! Whoever thought that nimrod could play a British secret agent is an idiot! He ruined every single Bond movie he starred in, but that's not saying much because they're all crap!

(See what you've done by creating this thread, TP? You have finally driven me completely insane!!!!!!!!!! )

Thunderpussy

) I loved your first line about loving Goldfinger ...
..... It has the REAL James Bond ! ) ) )

Peppermill

The only Bond movie I like was Dalton's third....... because it didn't get made.

Blackleiter

Thunderpussy wrote:

) I loved your first line about loving Goldfinger ...
..... It has the REAL James Bond ! ) ) )

I speak the truth and we all know it! ) ) )

Thunderpussy

Ah !, come on Peppermill, Robots and Whoopie Goldberg, how could you not want
To see that ? )

chrisisall

Connery was a SCHKOTT not an Englishman, Lazenby was preening male hormone, Moore was a poofta, Dalton was an "AHCKTOHHH", Brosnan was a hair commercial, Craig is a bouncer.
This series of movies is a mess. X-(

Peppermill

chrisisall wrote:

Connery was a SCHKOTT not an Englishman, Lazenby was preening male hormone, Moore was a poofta, Dalton was an "AHCKTOHHH", Brosnan was a hair commercial, Craig is a bouncer.
This series of movies is a mess. X-(

Because of all the terrible continuity errors it's not really a movie series, is it?

Thunderpussy

I think you've got something there Peppermill " They're not a series at all !" )

chrisisall

More like a comedy of errors. )

Thunderpussy

Back to the original Shakespeare then ?

chrisisall

Cry havoc & let slip the dogs of Bond!

superado

chrisisall wrote:

Connery was a SCHKOTT not an Englishman, Lazenby was preening male hormone, Moore was a poofta, Dalton was an "AHCKTOHHH", Brosnan was a hair commercial, Craig is a bouncer.
This series of movies is a mess. X-(

lol, you hit the nail on the head...thank goodness that there's a thriving Fast n Furious series that I can fall back on.

chrisisall

superado wrote:

lol, you hit the nail on the head...thank goodness that there's a thriving Fast n Furious series that I can fall back on.

Now THAT's character development! {[]