No discussion: The political jokes thread

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  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 22,312MI6 Agent
    Trump promised to drain the swamp, but instead he's going full Colonel Kurtz :))
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    edited January 2021
    .
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 22,312MI6 Agent
    This joke may be slightly outdated , but it still qualifies:

    It's 1940 and a German company is driving through rural Norway. Suddenly a pig runs in front of one of the trucks and gets killed. It's the early days of the occupation and the Germans are trying to win the hearts and minds of the Norwegians. Their commander ordens a corporal to walk to the nearly farm, tell the family what happened and express regret on behalf of the Wermacht. After half an hour the corporal returns. "How did they take the news?" asked the Captain. "Surprisingly well." replied the corporal. "They all cheered, shook my hand and offered me a drink." The Captain was pleased: "What did you tell them?" The corporal saluted and said: "Heil Hitler! The swine is dead."
  • cheldcheld Posts: 300MI6 Agent
    The word “politics” is derived from the prefix “poly”, meaning “many”, and the word “ticks”, meaning “blood sucking parasites”.
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 22,312MI6 Agent
    A bedroom in Bethlehem, West Bank in Palestine/Israel in a new guesthouse decorated with an artwork by Banksy.

    1024.jpg?w=1010&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=max&s=efd03f1fada2f9de7ebea5d35a458e05
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 22,312MI6 Agent
    More street-art from Banksy:

    08-Banksy-Birds-of-a-Feather-photo-courtesy-banksy.co_.uk_-865x577.jpg


    150416banksyUKIP.jpeg?1437929971


    banksy-graffiti-street-art-palestine3.jpg


    one-nation-under-cctv_newman-st_london_august_2008-h.jpg
  • Silhouette ManSilhouette Man The last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,841MI6 Agent
    One Nation under the Tesco carrier bag flag. :D
    "The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
  • Ammo08Ammo08 Missouri, USAPosts: 387MI6 Agent
    Sally Mullihan of Coral Springs, Fla decided to take one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.
    Sally applied for a job in a Florida lemon grove and
    seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and a school teacher.
    The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
    "Well, as a matter of fact, I have," she said:
    "I've been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers and I voted twice for Obama."
    She starts work in the morning!
    "I don't know if the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or imbeciles who mean it."-Mark Twain
    'Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.'- Benny Hill (1924-1992)
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 22,312MI6 Agent
    Pros and Cons of a two-party system (from The Onion)



    PRO

    Easier to grasp for populace that becomes quickly overwhelmed when presented with too many chip options at the supermarket

    Cultivates a fundamentally American ‘us versus them’ mindset

    Saves precious time that would have been wasted confronting multiple nuanced positions along a spectrum of political ideology

    You’ll probably get your way every four to eight years

    CON
    Unfairly limits the options available to lobbyists

    Perpetuates false notion that the U.S. government isn’t controlled by a single top-secret, monolithic political organization composed of the world’s most powerful elites

    Stifles the creativity of political cartoonists who have so much more than elephants and donkeys to give

    Voter turnout generally higher in single-party dictatorships
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,619MI6 Agent
    edited March 2017
    Another example, that reality beats satire:

    According to Gen. David Perkins, a US ally managed to shoot down a US$ 200,-- drone with a Patriot missile.

    Patriots are 3 Millions each - must have happened somewhere in Scotland if you are asking me :D

    https://youtu.be/6v7nfB5bV3E
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,619MI6 Agent
    Today, Angela Merkel is meeting POTUS in Washington.

    Just heard a commentary on CNN saying that the leader of the free world is meeting Donald Trump

    Had a big laugh! :)) :)) :))
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • Silhouette ManSilhouette Man The last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,841MI6 Agent
    Higgins wrote:
    Today, Angela Merkel is meeting POTUS in Washington.

    Just heard a commentary on CNN saying that the leader of the free world is meeting Donald Trump

    Had a big laugh! :)) :)) :))

    I know, that's Theresa May! :)) :p
    "The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
  • ChriscoopChriscoop Belize Posts: 10,458MI6 Agent
    Biggest political joke of the week is the Dutch hard right winger Geert wilders

    20170317_204124.jpg

    I wonder if he uses trumps barber?
    It was either that.....or the priesthood
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 22,312MI6 Agent
    Higgins wrote:
    Today, Angela Merkel is meeting POTUS in Washington.

    Just heard a commentary on CNN saying that the leader of the free world is meeting Donald Trump

    Had a big laugh! :)) :)) :))

    I know, that's Theresa May! :)) :p

    No! That's NATO General Secretary Jens Stoltenberg. :D
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,619MI6 Agent
    I think, that you both, N24 and SM did not get the joke :v
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 22,312MI6 Agent
    I thought I did..... :s
    Was it Merkel as the leader of the free world and not Trump (in spite of that role being traditionally that of POTUS?)
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,619MI6 Agent
    {[]
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 22,312MI6 Agent
    B-) (I'm so proud!)
  • Silhouette ManSilhouette Man The last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,841MI6 Agent
    Number24 wrote:
    I thought I did..... :s
    Was it Merkel as the leader of the free world and not Trump (in spite of that role being traditionally that of POTUS?)

    Yes, I got it too, but was just joking around there, Higgins. :)
    "The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 22,312MI6 Agent
    Many of us saw the BBC interview where the kids walked in :D
    This is how a woman would have handled it .......

    https://www.facebook.com/JonoAndBen/videos/1371634142917338/
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,619MI6 Agent
    edited March 2017
    deleted
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • ChriscoopChriscoop Belize Posts: 10,458MI6 Agent
    Number24 wrote:
    Many of us saw the BBC interview where the kids walked in :D
    This is how a woman would have handled it .......

    https://www.facebook.com/JonoAndBen/videos/1371634142917338/
    That's how I would have handled it. And I'm a big testosterone emiting hunk of Man.
    It was either that.....or the priesthood
  • ChriscoopChriscoop Belize Posts: 10,458MI6 Agent
    Higgins wrote:
    Bill to stop Healthcare has been stopped because Trump could not pass it thru congress .

    Such a Loser - so sad!

    Hope that people are starting to realize that the emperor does not wear clothes :D

    Lame duck??
    It was either that.....or the priesthood
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    edited January 2021
    .
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • ChriscoopChriscoop Belize Posts: 10,458MI6 Agent
    Probably for the best, the word impeachment comes to mind more and more 8-)
    It was either that.....or the priesthood
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,825Chief of Staff
    Guys, can I remind you of the title of this thread? :)
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 22,312MI6 Agent
    I hope Trump's precidency doesn't end in an impeachment, or even worse - assassination. That would lead to a backstabbing - legend that will have disastrous effect on American society for a long time, possibly generations. The best outcome (sadly) is if Trump loses badly in four years because he didn't make the lives of the working class better at all.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,825Chief of Staff
    Can I remind you more strongly?
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    edited January 2021
    .
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 22,312MI6 Agent
    Barbel wrote:
    Can I remind you more strongly?

    I'm sure you can, but I don't think it will be necessary.
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