Wheelchair Fraudster's £1m scam
Napoleon Plural
LondonPosts: 10,467MI6 Agent
A supervillain benefits fraudster has admitted conning taxpayers out of one million pounds by pretending to be paralysed from the neck down.
Ernest Stavro Blofeld arrived at court on a mobility scooter - but the judge heard he had been seen walking about in Rome, London and some place in the desert in 2015. He kept up his pretence of being a paraplegic for 35 years, and had claimed to be paralysed from the waist down since 1971.
The DWP said after the hearing: 'If a supervillain turns up in a wheelchair and claims to be disabled, the doctor will take his testimony on trust. It's not like he was Doctor No.
'He claimed to have suffered his latest injury after a superspy dropped him down a chimney stack. A decade earlier, the same spy had caused his original injuries by using his escape submarine as a yo-yo. All pretty standard stuff.'
Mister Blofeld left the court with his wife Irma Bunt. It has also been claimed that he was seen in an unspecified location in Paris in 1983, looking like Jeremy Corbyn, but the legitimacy of this outing has been questioned.
Blofeld commented: 'If I couldn't get one meeellion dollars through terrorism, extortion or hijacking nuclear weapons, I had to resort to benefits fraud instead.' He refused to confirm whether Spectre would change its name to Spebf insead.
When Blofeld's cat was doorstepped by journalists, it would only comment 'It looks like it's back to Whiskers now! Larry the Cat is laughing his head off.' He subsequently refused to comment on whether he might now pick up commercial inducements for being the world's first talking cat. 'Bugger off!' he said.
Ernest Stavro Blofeld arrived at court on a mobility scooter - but the judge heard he had been seen walking about in Rome, London and some place in the desert in 2015. He kept up his pretence of being a paraplegic for 35 years, and had claimed to be paralysed from the waist down since 1971.
The DWP said after the hearing: 'If a supervillain turns up in a wheelchair and claims to be disabled, the doctor will take his testimony on trust. It's not like he was Doctor No.
'He claimed to have suffered his latest injury after a superspy dropped him down a chimney stack. A decade earlier, the same spy had caused his original injuries by using his escape submarine as a yo-yo. All pretty standard stuff.'
Mister Blofeld left the court with his wife Irma Bunt. It has also been claimed that he was seen in an unspecified location in Paris in 1983, looking like Jeremy Corbyn, but the legitimacy of this outing has been questioned.
Blofeld commented: 'If I couldn't get one meeellion dollars through terrorism, extortion or hijacking nuclear weapons, I had to resort to benefits fraud instead.' He refused to confirm whether Spectre would change its name to Spebf insead.
When Blofeld's cat was doorstepped by journalists, it would only comment 'It looks like it's back to Whiskers now! Larry the Cat is laughing his head off.' He subsequently refused to comment on whether he might now pick up commercial inducements for being the world's first talking cat. 'Bugger off!' he said.
"This is where we leave you Mr Bond."
Roger Moore 1927-2017
Roger Moore 1927-2017
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