1993. The Dalton household. Timothy is walking up and down, never getting too far away from the telephone.
Mrs Dalton: Oh, sit down, Timothy, why don’t you?
Timothy: Sit down? I cannot sit down!
Mrs Dalton: Just sit down and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea.
Timothy: Tea? I can’t think of tea at a time like this!
Mrs Dalton: Look, if they want you they’ll call you.
Timothy: Of course they’ll want me!
Mrs Dalton: Please, relax and-
Timothy: I can’t relax! They have to phone me!
Mrs Dalton: But you told them you didn’t want to be James Bond any more.
Timothy: Well, yes, I did, but surely anyone could see that that was merely a negotiating position.
Mrs Dalton: (Doubtful.) Hmmm, they seem to be taking it very seriously. Why should they think it’s a negotiating position?
Timothy: Because they have been here before. About ten years or more ago, Roger Moore told them that he didn’t want to make any more James Bond films.
Mrs Dalton: Yes, I know.
Timothy: And what did Cubby and Michael do? They offered him more money!
Mrs Dalton: Yes, but-
Timothy: Much more money! Then he did it again before the next one, and they paid him what he wanted again!
Mrs Dalton: I know that, but-
Timothy: And twenty years ago or more, Sean Connery pulled the same thing. They ended up paying him enough money to buy a medium-sized country.
Mrs Dalton: Yes, that is true, but-
Timothy: But what?
Mrs Dalton: You also have to look at who was the second choice at those times. The alternative to Sean Connery was John Gavin, and the alternative to Roger Moore was James Brolin.
Timothy: So?
Mrs Dalton: They’re both American. Cubby Broccoli would always pick a Brit to play Bond, everyone knows that.
Timothy: Well, that may be true but-
Mrs Dalton: And everyone knows who the alternative to you is.
Timothy: Sean Bean?
Mrs Dalton: Not Sean Bean- everybody knows he always gets killed in all of his movies and that James Bond never gets killed.
Timothy: True. It would take a really stupid producer to kill off James Bond*. So who, then?
Mrs Dalton: Pierce Brosnan, of course.
Timothy: What, old Remington? (Scoffs.) Ha! Just you wait and see.
Mrs Dalton: Yes, dear…..
(* No, I still haven't forgiven them and doubt if I ever will. And I am of course aware that there was no Mrs Dalton either at this or any other point in time.)
Sir MilesThe Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 27,749Chief of Staff
Yes, you can picture Tim pacing around the room…I wonder if he’d gone ‘full method’ and was doing so in his tux? 🤣
Pictures have just come in from the third Timothy Dalton James Bond film "Property Of A Lady". For years it had been thought that this project got no further than the screenplay being written (and rewritten, and rewritten...), but we now know that filming had indeed started before MGM forced the shooting to be closed down, leading to an enormous legal battle with Broccoli & co.
As is common with Eon, some of the scenes would be reused in later Bond films.
An early scene, perhaps intended for the PTS.
Bond meets Xenia Onatopp in a casino in Monte Carlo. This scene was later reworked and included in GoldenEye.
As would end up in GoldenEye, the film was to flash forward and Tim’s hair would be greyed to indicate the passage of time initially thought to be about twenty years. However, by the time of GoldenEye the flash forward was eventually limited to only nine years.
In a scene later used in Casino Royale, he tells his lady companion that her cover name is Miss Stephanie Broadchest.
Attempting to bankrupt the main villain, a plot thread clearly taken from Casino Royale, Bond makes a bet.
Another scene from later in the film.
Sadly, shooting closed down at this point.
Sir MilesThe Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 27,749Chief of Staff
excellent work @boss ! soon this shall spread across the entire internet and the whole world will believe for a fact there is an unreleased unfinished 3rd DaltonBond film those evil EON people have hidden away and refuse to share with their fans even as a bonus feature on one of the DVDs. then this story will start appearing in peer reviewed published texts, with citations leading back to ajb007. I feel that we are finally contributing to the true potential of the internet
lets have a scene where he has to grow a moustache for his cover and gets in a swordfight, obviously recycled in Die Another Day
and another where he fights a big and blonde and bad guy, there mustve been a scene like that in one of the Brosnans
(damn, I cant find a shot where Daltons facing the camera, youd almost think the big and blonde and bad guy is the hero! maybe EON were already losing faith in Dalton as Bond and sabotaging his scenes to make him look weak)
1969. Eon HQ, under a gondola in Venice. Cubby Broccoli enters to find Harry Saltzman nose-deep in a book.
Cubby: What, reading again, Harry?
Harry: But of course. To read is to voyage through time, as Carl Sagan said.
Cubby: Speaking of time, we-
Harry: And that is a singularly apposite quote, given that I am reading Proust.
Cubby: Proust?
Harry: À la recherche du temps perdu, if one is to be exact.
Cubby: Aw Harry, you know I can’t speak German.
Harry “In Search Of Lost Time”. You see, the protagonist, Swann, dips a madeleine-
Cubby: Say what?
Harry: A madeleine. It’s a biscuit. He dips it in his tea and the scent brings back memories of his past which he-
Cubby: Harry, please. You know that we have very little time to find a replacement for Sean Connery in our next film so a decision is something we must do.
Harry: Do? Ah, to do is to be, Jean-Paul Sartre.
Cubby: No, Friedrich Neitzche.
Harry: Did he not say to be is to do?
Cubby: And Frank Sinatra said dooby dooby do, but we’ve still got to find a new James Bond.
Harry: Ah, but-
Cubby: And we can talk about madeleine and Swann later- much later!
Sir MilesThe Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 27,749Chief of Staff
Full disclosure time - at school (many years ago, before someone points it out) I was asked if I wanted to study French or German. I opted for French. If I had known then that one day I would marry a German lady and spend a lot of time there, it would have made things a lot easier!
thanks @Barbel it had to be done in light of new information (interview with Saltzman reveals him to have been the intellectual philosopher in the gang) and you did it swell
this sudden change in Imaginary Conversation Harry's whole personality reminds me of the time Cousin Itt was cast in a play and took enunciation lessons, changing his whole personality and making him intolerable to those who loved him
1965. Pinewood Studios. Maurice Binder is carefully positioning two swimming girls in a large tank of water for a title sequence.
Binder: No, make your bikini tighter, darling… no, tighter… look, just take it off. (Looks through camera.) Yes, that’s much better. Now, on the left, just lean a bit more forward…. Arms apart now…. Yes, that’s right.
(The door opens and Martine Beswick enters, walking straight up to Binder.)
Martine: Hello, I’m looking for Maurice Binder.
Binder: That’s me, young lady, just go over to the stripping area over there and take your clothes-
Martine: No, no. I’m not one of your models.
Binder: You’re not? (He takes his first good look at her.) Now, that IS a pity. Are you sure that you wouldn’t like to-
Martine: Quite sure, thank you. I’m an actress.
Binder: Ah, well, half of the girls I get here are actresses too, just between jobs. The others are models or maybe-
(One of the swimmers has come to the side of the tank.)
Christina Hayward: Maurice, is it all right if Jean and I take a break while you’re talking?
Binder: Oh, sorry, Christina. Of course, girls, please have a rest.
(The wet naked girls climb out of the tank, put on gowns and go over to where a kettle and some cups are waiting.)
Binder: Now, what were you saying?
Martine: I’m Martine Beswick.
Binder: (Blank look.) Martine Beswick?
Martine: That’s right. I take it the name doesn’t ring any bells with you?
Binder: Can’t say it does.
Martine: Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. You seem to think I’m a man.
Binder: (Now thoroughly confused.) I do?
Martine: You think I’m called Martin Beswick.
Binder: I do???
Martine: Yes, now look-
(She takes off her coat.)
(Sorry to disappoint anyone hoping for more... er... uncovered poses of the lovely Martine, but that's what the Internet is for. Barbel)
Martine: Do I look like a “Martin” to you? My name’s Martine!!!
Binder: You do not look like a Martin, I believe your name is Martine, now please tell me where I called you “Martin”.
Martine: In the opening titles of “From Russia With Love”.
Binder: Ah, well-
Martine: You remember, where the titles are shown over the body of a belly dancer?
Binder: Yes, of course I remember, but-
Martine: And for some reason I ended up being called “Martin Beswick”. Martin! Now I ask you!
Binder: Please, Martine, listen to me a moment!
Martine: (Suspiciously.) Yes?
Binder: I didn’t do those titles!
Martine: No?
Binder: No! That was a chap called Robert Brownjohn.
Martine: Are you sure?
Binder: Of course I’m sure!
Martine: Hmmmm…. All right, but you are doing the titles for “Thunderball”, aren’t you?
Binder: Yes, working on it now as a matter of fact.
Martine: Well, I’m in this one as well- just get my name right!
Sir MilesThe Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 27,749Chief of Staff
I didn't even know that existed! I was going to comment on poor Martine having to do that kind of film, then I looked closer and saw Adam West (holy career slump, Batman) and Phil Silvers were there as well so I'm wondering if it was a comedy?
Around 1930, at a church in England. The happy mother and father beam at their beautiful baby in the vicar’s arms as they stand at the font.
Vicar: In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost, I…. Look, are you sure about this?
Father: (Taken by surprise.) What?
Vicar: Are you sure? I mean, it’s not too late.
Mother: (Whispering sibilantly, intensely aware that the entire congregation, including most of her own family and some of her husband’s, are watching.) Yes, we’re sure.
Vicar: Well, all right. Ahem. In the name of the father, and… this is your last chance, you know.
Mother: Yes, we know.
Father: We have talked about it, you know.
Mother: Indeed we have.
Father: At great length. (Sighs.) At very great length and-
Mother: All right, all right. I’m sure the vicar gets the picture.
Vicar: I see. Well, if you are sure about this, Mr & Mrs Galore?
Mother: We are sure.
Vicar: In the name of the father….
Around 1950, at a church somewhere in the USA. The happy mother and father beam at their beautiful baby in the vicar’s arms as they stand at the font.
Vicar: In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost, I…. Look, are you sure about this?
Father: (Taken by surprise.) What?
Vicar: Are you sure? I mean, it’s not too late.
Mother: (Whispering hissily, intensely aware that the entire congregation, including most of her own family and some of her husband’s, are watching.) Yes, we’re sure.
Vicar: Well, all right. Ahem. In the name of the father, and… this is your last chance, you know.
Mother: Yes, we know.
Father: We have talked about it, you know.
Mother: Indeed we have.
Father: At great length. (Sighs.) At very great length and-
Mother: All right, all right. I’m sure the vicar gets the picture.
Vicar: I see. Well, if you are sure about this, Mr & Mrs O’Toole?
Mother: We are sure.
Father: She’s being named after me, you see.
Vicar: Well, then. In the name of the father….
Sir MilesThe Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 27,749Chief of Staff
And another from Number24, aided and abetted by me
Around 1955, at a church in Thailand. The happy mother and father beam at their beautiful baby in the vicar’s arms as they stand at the font.
Vicar: In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost, I…. Look, are you sure about this?
Father: (Taken by surprise.) What?
Vicar: Are you sure? I mean, it’s not too late.
Mother: (Whispering sibilantly, intensely aware that the entire congregation, including most of her own family and some of her husband’s.) Yes, we’re sure.
Vicar: Well, all right. Ahem. In the name of the father, and… this is your last chance, you know.
Mother: Yes, we know.
Father: We have talked about it, you know.
Mother: Indeed we have.
Father: At great length. (Sighs.) At very great length and-
Mother: All right, all right. I’m sure the vicar gets the picture.
Vicar: I see. Well, if you are sure about this?
Mother: We are sure. Her name will be Mee.
Vicar: Certainly, Mrs Chew. In the name of the father….
Around 1950, at a church somewhere in the USA. The happy mother and father beam at their beautiful baby in the vicar’s arms as they stand at the font.
Vicar: In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost, I…. Look, are you sure about this?
Father: (Taken by surprise.) What?
Vicar: Are you sure? I mean, it’s not too late.
Mother: (Whispering hissily, intensely aware that the entire congregation, including most of her own family and some of her husband’s.) Yes, we’re sure.
Vicar: Well, all right. Ahem. In the name of the father, and… this is your last chance, you know.
Mother: Yes, we know.
Father: We have talked about it, you know.
Mother: Indeed we have.
Father: At great length. (Sighs.) At very great length and-
Mother: All right, all right. I’m sure the vicar gets the picture.
Vicar: I see. Well, if you are sure about this?
Mother: I don’t think our daughter’s name is any cause for alarm.
Vicar: All right, all right, Mrs Day. In the name of the father….
Comments
Love these 🤣👏🏻
Thank you, Sir Miles.
And from me, too, of course. 🙂
1993. The Dalton household. Timothy is walking up and down, never getting too far away from the telephone.
Mrs Dalton: Oh, sit down, Timothy, why don’t you?
Timothy: Sit down? I cannot sit down!
Mrs Dalton: Just sit down and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea.
Timothy: Tea? I can’t think of tea at a time like this!
Mrs Dalton: Look, if they want you they’ll call you.
Timothy: Of course they’ll want me!
Mrs Dalton: Please, relax and-
Timothy: I can’t relax! They have to phone me!
Mrs Dalton: But you told them you didn’t want to be James Bond any more.
Timothy: Well, yes, I did, but surely anyone could see that that was merely a negotiating position.
Mrs Dalton: (Doubtful.) Hmmm, they seem to be taking it very seriously. Why should they think it’s a negotiating position?
Timothy: Because they have been here before. About ten years or more ago, Roger Moore told them that he didn’t want to make any more James Bond films.
Mrs Dalton: Yes, I know.
Timothy: And what did Cubby and Michael do? They offered him more money!
Mrs Dalton: Yes, but-
Timothy: Much more money! Then he did it again before the next one, and they paid him what he wanted again!
Mrs Dalton: I know that, but-
Timothy: And twenty years ago or more, Sean Connery pulled the same thing. They ended up paying him enough money to buy a medium-sized country.
Mrs Dalton: Yes, that is true, but-
Timothy: But what?
Mrs Dalton: You also have to look at who was the second choice at those times. The alternative to Sean Connery was John Gavin, and the alternative to Roger Moore was James Brolin.
Timothy: So?
Mrs Dalton: They’re both American. Cubby Broccoli would always pick a Brit to play Bond, everyone knows that.
Timothy: Well, that may be true but-
Mrs Dalton: And everyone knows who the alternative to you is.
Timothy: Sean Bean?
Mrs Dalton: Not Sean Bean- everybody knows he always gets killed in all of his movies and that James Bond never gets killed.
Timothy: True. It would take a really stupid producer to kill off James Bond*. So who, then?
Mrs Dalton: Pierce Brosnan, of course.
Timothy: What, old Remington? (Scoffs.) Ha! Just you wait and see.
Mrs Dalton: Yes, dear…..
(* No, I still haven't forgiven them and doubt if I ever will. And I am of course aware that there was no Mrs Dalton either at this or any other point in time.)
Yes, you can picture Tim pacing around the room…I wonder if he’d gone ‘full method’ and was doing so in his tux? 🤣
Speaking of Tim....
Pictures have just come in from the third Timothy Dalton James Bond film "Property Of A Lady". For years it had been thought that this project got no further than the screenplay being written (and rewritten, and rewritten...), but we now know that filming had indeed started before MGM forced the shooting to be closed down, leading to an enormous legal battle with Broccoli & co.
As is common with Eon, some of the scenes would be reused in later Bond films.
An early scene, perhaps intended for the PTS.
Bond meets Xenia Onatopp in a casino in Monte Carlo. This scene was later reworked and included in GoldenEye.
As would end up in GoldenEye, the film was to flash forward and Tim’s hair would be greyed to indicate the passage of time initially thought to be about twenty years. However, by the time of GoldenEye the flash forward was eventually limited to only nine years.
In a scene later used in Casino Royale, he tells his lady companion that her cover name is Miss Stephanie Broadchest.
Attempting to bankrupt the main villain, a plot thread clearly taken from Casino Royale, Bond makes a bet.
Another scene from later in the film.
Sadly, shooting closed down at this point.
If only that had made that third film 😩
Great as unusual, Barbel 🍸🤣
Yes, another excellent post, Barbel 🍻
excellent work @boss ! soon this shall spread across the entire internet and the whole world will believe for a fact there is an unreleased unfinished 3rd DaltonBond film those evil EON people have hidden away and refuse to share with their fans even as a bonus feature on one of the DVDs. then this story will start appearing in peer reviewed published texts, with citations leading back to ajb007. I feel that we are finally contributing to the true potential of the internet
lets have a scene where he has to grow a moustache for his cover and gets in a swordfight, obviously recycled in Die Another Day
and another where he fights a big and blonde and bad guy, there mustve been a scene like that in one of the Brosnans
(damn, I cant find a shot where Daltons facing the camera, youd almost think the big and blonde and bad guy is the hero! maybe EON were already losing faith in Dalton as Bond and sabotaging his scenes to make him look weak)
Thank you, everyone. @caractacus potts, the next one is for you after our recent discussion in the Interviews thread.
PS Caractacus, you don't really think anyone would spread the above all over the internet, do you? 😱
1969. Eon HQ, under a gondola in Venice. Cubby Broccoli enters to find Harry Saltzman nose-deep in a book.
Cubby: What, reading again, Harry?
Harry: But of course. To read is to voyage through time, as Carl Sagan said.
Cubby: Speaking of time, we-
Harry: And that is a singularly apposite quote, given that I am reading Proust.
Cubby: Proust?
Harry: À la recherche du temps perdu, if one is to be exact.
Cubby: Aw Harry, you know I can’t speak German.
Harry “In Search Of Lost Time”. You see, the protagonist, Swann, dips a madeleine-
Cubby: Say what?
Harry: A madeleine. It’s a biscuit. He dips it in his tea and the scent brings back memories of his past which he-
Cubby: Harry, please. You know that we have very little time to find a replacement for Sean Connery in our next film so a decision is something we must do.
Harry: Do? Ah, to do is to be, Jean-Paul Sartre.
Cubby: No, Friedrich Neitzche.
Harry: Did he not say to be is to do?
Cubby: And Frank Sinatra said dooby dooby do, but we’ve still got to find a new James Bond.
Harry: Ah, but-
Cubby: And we can talk about madeleine and Swann later- much later!
That is absolutely brilliant 🤣👏🏻🤣👏🏻
And excellent from @caractacus potts 👏🏻
Thy dawn, O Master of the Imaginary Conversations, thy dawn.
Superb, absolutely superb, Barbel 👏👏👏
I didn't know you spoke German this well, Barbel! 😁
Full disclosure time - at school (many years ago, before someone points it out) I was asked if I wanted to study French or German. I opted for French. If I had known then that one day I would marry a German lady and spend a lot of time there, it would have made things a lot easier!
And of course many thanks, guys.
thanks @Barbel it had to be done in light of new information (interview with Saltzman reveals him to have been the intellectual philosopher in the gang) and you did it swell
this sudden change in Imaginary Conversation Harry's whole personality reminds me of the time Cousin Itt was cast in a play and took enunciation lessons, changing his whole personality and making him intolerable to those who loved him
Loved it! I don't fancy writing a mashup, but if you want to please go right ahead.
1965. Pinewood Studios. Maurice Binder is carefully positioning two swimming girls in a large tank of water for a title sequence.
Binder: No, make your bikini tighter, darling… no, tighter… look, just take it off. (Looks through camera.) Yes, that’s much better. Now, on the left, just lean a bit more forward…. Arms apart now…. Yes, that’s right.
(The door opens and Martine Beswick enters, walking straight up to Binder.)
Martine: Hello, I’m looking for Maurice Binder.
Binder: That’s me, young lady, just go over to the stripping area over there and take your clothes-
Martine: No, no. I’m not one of your models.
Binder: You’re not? (He takes his first good look at her.) Now, that IS a pity. Are you sure that you wouldn’t like to-
Martine: Quite sure, thank you. I’m an actress.
Binder: Ah, well, half of the girls I get here are actresses too, just between jobs. The others are models or maybe-
(One of the swimmers has come to the side of the tank.)
Christina Hayward: Maurice, is it all right if Jean and I take a break while you’re talking?
Binder: Oh, sorry, Christina. Of course, girls, please have a rest.
(The wet naked girls climb out of the tank, put on gowns and go over to where a kettle and some cups are waiting.)
Binder: Now, what were you saying?
Martine: I’m Martine Beswick.
Binder: (Blank look.) Martine Beswick?
Martine: That’s right. I take it the name doesn’t ring any bells with you?
Binder: Can’t say it does.
Martine: Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. You seem to think I’m a man.
Binder: (Now thoroughly confused.) I do?
Martine: You think I’m called Martin Beswick.
Binder: I do???
Martine: Yes, now look-
(She takes off her coat.)
(Sorry to disappoint anyone hoping for more... er... uncovered poses of the lovely Martine, but that's what the Internet is for. Barbel)
Martine: Do I look like a “Martin” to you? My name’s Martine!!!
Binder: You do not look like a Martin, I believe your name is Martine, now please tell me where I called you “Martin”.
Martine: In the opening titles of “From Russia With Love”.
Binder: Ah, well-
Martine: You remember, where the titles are shown over the body of a belly dancer?
Binder: Yes, of course I remember, but-
Martine: And for some reason I ended up being called “Martin Beswick”. Martin! Now I ask you!
Binder: Please, Martine, listen to me a moment!
Martine: (Suspiciously.) Yes?
Binder: I didn’t do those titles!
Martine: No?
Binder: No! That was a chap called Robert Brownjohn.
Martine: Are you sure?
Binder: Of course I’m sure!
Martine: Hmmmm…. All right, but you are doing the titles for “Thunderball”, aren’t you?
Binder: Yes, working on it now as a matter of fact.
Martine: Well, I’m in this one as well- just get my name right!
One leisurely look over the internet later….
No. Most definitely NOT a Martin 🤭
Has Martine Beswick had her name misspelled more than any other actress?
I didn't even know that existed! I was going to comment on poor Martine having to do that kind of film, then I looked closer and saw Adam West (holy career slump, Batman) and Phil Silvers were there as well so I'm wondering if it was a comedy?
By Number24 and Barbel
Around 1930, at a church in England. The happy mother and father beam at their beautiful baby in the vicar’s arms as they stand at the font.
Vicar: In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost, I…. Look, are you sure about this?
Father: (Taken by surprise.) What?
Vicar: Are you sure? I mean, it’s not too late.
Mother: (Whispering sibilantly, intensely aware that the entire congregation, including most of her own family and some of her husband’s, are watching.) Yes, we’re sure.
Vicar: Well, all right. Ahem. In the name of the father, and… this is your last chance, you know.
Mother: Yes, we know.
Father: We have talked about it, you know.
Mother: Indeed we have.
Father: At great length. (Sighs.) At very great length and-
Mother: All right, all right. I’m sure the vicar gets the picture.
Vicar: I see. Well, if you are sure about this, Mr & Mrs Galore?
Mother: We are sure.
Vicar: In the name of the father….
Around 1950, at a church somewhere in the USA. The happy mother and father beam at their beautiful baby in the vicar’s arms as they stand at the font.
Vicar: In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost, I…. Look, are you sure about this?
Father: (Taken by surprise.) What?
Vicar: Are you sure? I mean, it’s not too late.
Mother: (Whispering hissily, intensely aware that the entire congregation, including most of her own family and some of her husband’s, are watching.) Yes, we’re sure.
Vicar: Well, all right. Ahem. In the name of the father, and… this is your last chance, you know.
Mother: Yes, we know.
Father: We have talked about it, you know.
Mother: Indeed we have.
Father: At great length. (Sighs.) At very great length and-
Mother: All right, all right. I’m sure the vicar gets the picture.
Vicar: I see. Well, if you are sure about this, Mr & Mrs O’Toole?
Mother: We are sure.
Father: She’s being named after me, you see.
Vicar: Well, then. In the name of the father….
🤣 good one guys 👏🏻
Thanks, sir Miles.
And another from Number24, aided and abetted by me
Around 1955, at a church in Thailand. The happy mother and father beam at their beautiful baby in the vicar’s arms as they stand at the font.
Vicar: In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost, I…. Look, are you sure about this?
Father: (Taken by surprise.) What?
Vicar: Are you sure? I mean, it’s not too late.
Mother: (Whispering sibilantly, intensely aware that the entire congregation, including most of her own family and some of her husband’s.) Yes, we’re sure.
Vicar: Well, all right. Ahem. In the name of the father, and… this is your last chance, you know.
Mother: Yes, we know.
Father: We have talked about it, you know.
Mother: Indeed we have.
Father: At great length. (Sighs.) At very great length and-
Mother: All right, all right. I’m sure the vicar gets the picture.
Vicar: I see. Well, if you are sure about this?
Mother: We are sure. Her name will be Mee.
Vicar: Certainly, Mrs Chew. In the name of the father….
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Around 1950, at a church somewhere in the USA. The happy mother and father beam at their beautiful baby in the vicar’s arms as they stand at the font.
Vicar: In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost, I…. Look, are you sure about this?
Father: (Taken by surprise.) What?
Vicar: Are you sure? I mean, it’s not too late.
Mother: (Whispering hissily, intensely aware that the entire congregation, including most of her own family and some of her husband’s.) Yes, we’re sure.
Vicar: Well, all right. Ahem. In the name of the father, and… this is your last chance, you know.
Mother: Yes, we know.
Father: We have talked about it, you know.
Mother: Indeed we have.
Father: At great length. (Sighs.) At very great length and-
Mother: All right, all right. I’m sure the vicar gets the picture.
Vicar: I see. Well, if you are sure about this?
Mother: I don’t think our daughter’s name is any cause for alarm.
Vicar: All right, all right, Mrs Day. In the name of the father….
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Around 1950, at a church somewhere in the USA.
Vicar: And what is the name of this child?
Mother: Thumper.
Vicar: Let us welcome Thump .... Th ...... Thumper?!!!
A great twist on this thread 🤣🤣
Thanks, Sir M, but I've tied N24 up and left him in an aircraft hangar while I fly off to the White House. Enough of those for the moment!
Mm! .... Mmnnn nnnn mm! .... elb! Elb mmm!
I’m not sure this is the right site to post your sexual predilections, N24 😂