Thank you very much, gentlemen. I see that we have now turned a page, and regular readers know what that means. Shomeone, shomewhere, shomewhen, ish pacing back and forth....
1986. The Connery household. Sean (he’s not Sir Sean yet) is pacing back and forth, never getting too far away from the telephone. His wife Micheline looks on, concernedly.
Micheline: Oh sit down, Sean, why don’t you?
Sean: Sh1t down? I can’t sh1t down!
Micheline: Just relax and-
Sean: I can’t relax!
Micheline: Let me make you a nice cup of tea and –
Sean: A nishe cup of tea? I can’t think of a nishe cup of tea at a time like thish!
Micheline: What do you mean, “a time like thish, er, this”? Nothing is happening!
Sean: Exshactly! Nothing ish happening! That telephone ought to be ringing right now.
Micheline: And why would that be?
Sean: Look, everybody knowsh that Roger Moore hash retired from the part of Jamesh Bond.
Micheline: So?
Sean: Sho they need a replashement. They need a younger man.
Micheline: Sean, you’re only three years younger than Roger.
Sean: And?
Micheline: I think they were thinking about someone perhaps twenty years younger. The rumours are that it might be the guy who plays “Remington Steele” on TV.
Sean: Nonshenshe. They should ashk me.
Micheline: Maybe they’re afraid of how much money you’d want.
Sean: They gave Roger a whole heap of money for that lasht one he did, “A View To A Facelift”.
Micheline: And everybody knows you said “never again”.
Sean: But then I shaid “Never Shay Never Again”.
Micheline: So this time you’re going to say “Never Say Never Say Never Again”.
Sean: (Shrugs.) I might.
(The telephone rings. Sean picks it up with a practiced ease.)
Sean: Hello? …. Oh, it’sh you …. What, Jamesh Bond again? …. No … No! …. Now pish off!
(He slams the phone down.)
Micheline: Do you mean to tell me that after all that talk you just told Cubby Broccoli to piss off?
Sean: Oh, hell, no. That wash Kevin McClory.
Micheline: Well, that’s all right then.
Sir MilesThe Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 27,793Chief of Staff
is this the first time in the conversations Connery has been asked to sh!t while his wife makes him a nice cup of tea?
we should have more adventures where Connery jusht sh!ts around, sh!tting over here, sh!tting over there, sh!tting jusht about anywhere he feelsh like! after youve been running all over the place chashing SHPECTRE agentsh and shaving the world, sometimes it feels good jusht to relax and have a nice cumfy sh!t
Yes, I do believe it's the first time Connery has been asked to sh!t though I can't be sure. It had to happen, and while I have no plans to overdo it you never know if it will turn up again.
@Number24 that's definitely going to happen but I found someone else's first.....
2015. Eon HQ, disguised as a drugs lab near Isthmus City. BB and MGW are interviewing potential writers.
MGW: Are you sure about this next one, Barbara?
BB: She’s a very famous and talented writer.
MGW: Exactly, why should she want to work for us?
BB: Who knows? Let’s call her in. (Presses a button on the intercom.) Send in the next applicant, please.
Secretary: (Through intercom.) Yes, Ms Broccoli.
(An elegant woman with reddish blonde hair enters.)
MGW: Do come in Ms Rowling, take a seat.
Joanne: Thank you. (Sits.) Call me Joanne.
BB: Ah, I’d always wondered what the J stood for. What’s the K?
Joanne: Kathleen, after my grandmother- but it’s not my middle name, I just picked it because it sounded good.
MGW: Ah, I see.
Joanne: On that subject, what’s the G for in your name?
MGW: It’s Gregg.
Joanne: (Dreamily.) Oh, that suits you.
MGW: (Even more dreamily.) And Joanne suits you. It’s a lovely name.
Joanne: Oh, thank you.
(They stare into each other’s eyes. A moment passes.)
BB: (Loudly.) Ahem!
MGW: Er, yes. Anyway, what brings probably the most successful author of this century to us? Surely you don’t need the work. You could probably buy Eon Productions if you wanted to.
Joanne: Really? I’d think Mr Besoz might have something to say if I tried. I just fancied a change, that’s all.
BB: Well, we’ve been having a look through this initial treatment that you’ve been kind enough to send us and we have a few comments to make.
Joanne: Oh yes?
MGW: Firstly, it’s part of our hero’s character that he uses a gun, specifically a Walther PPK, to kill the villains.
Joanne: Not a wand, then?
BB: No, not a wand.
Joanne: Not even one made from holly with a phoenix feather core?
MGW: Not even that. Also, he takes orders from someone known as M, not Headmaster Dumbledore.
Joanne: Well, I was just thinking it might be -
BB: And, yes, we know that M looks a bit like Lord Voldemort
but that doesn’t mean they’re the same man in disguise.
Joanne: But they ARE the same man in disguise.
MGW: We just ignore that. Now, this part here which starts off the big fight at the end of the story when our heroes break into the villain’s base.
Joanne: Yes?
BB: He seems to have some friends with him.
Joanne: Well, he can’t exactly do it all by himself.
MGW: On the contrary, that is pretty much what he usually does. Okay, sometimes he might be accompanied by his friend Felix, that’s true, but he doesn’t even know anyone called Hermione and she’s far too young to be there anyway.
Joanne: But she’s the clever one, she has all the brains.
BB: She isn’t going to be there. “James, Felix and Hermione break into the villain’s base” is not a sentence which we want to see in our script.
Joanne: I see.
MGW: And no, you can’t have Daniel Radcliffe as James Bond.
Joanne: But Pierce Brosnan said –
BB: We know what he said, but he was joking.
Joanne: Aw.
Sir MilesThe Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 27,793Chief of Staff
Both Bond & Potter have facial scars too…and Robbie Coltrane in common 😱
Harry: Yes, I’d never have thought this would happen.
Cubby: I mean, someone as distinguished as this wanting to work for Eon.
Harry: I know- “Casablanca”, “Gaslight”, “For Whom The Bell Tolls”. All great, great movies.
Cubby: Er, Harry?
Harry: “Spellbound”, “Notorious” –
Cubby: Harry!
Harry: Yes, what is it?
Cubby: You’re thinking of Ingrid Bergman.
Harry: Yes, of course. She’s wonderful, and we should be really honoured that she’d –
Cubby: This is Ingmar Bergman.
Harry: Ingmar?
Cubby: Ingmar Bergman the director. Not Ingrid Bergman the actress.
Harry: There’s two of them?
Cubby: (Sighing.) Just call him in, Harry.
Harry: Oh, of course. (Presses button on intercom.) Send the next one in, please.
Secretary: (On intercom.) Yes, Mr Saltzman.
(The door opens and a dark-haired man in his forties enters.)
Cubby: Please, have a seat, Mr Bergman.
Bergman: Thank you. (Sits.)
Harry: Now, we’ve been having a look at these ideas you have sent us and we have a few comments to make.
Bergman: Oh yes?
Cubby: While we have nothing against profoundly personal meditations into the myriad struggles facing the psyche and the soul, we’re not sure that can be fitted into our plans to have James Bond do a lot of underwater swimming while looking for atom bombs and seducing as many women as possible.
Bergman: You don’t think his search may be symbolising an internal one for a hidden gem of a place, which has personal or sentimental value to him?
Harry: No, he’s just doing what his boss tells him to do.
Bergman: He isn’t exploring philosophical themes such as introspection and human existence?
Cubby: He’s only interested in humans who look good in a bikini.
Bergman: Surely you would want him to represent a modern knight?
Harry: Well, Fleming did say something along those lines, yes.
Bergman: Then this knight will play chess with Death himself for his very soul and those of –
Cubby: No, not at all. He might play chess with the villain early in the movie but what we like is for the villain to try to cheat. Bond spots this, and outcheats the villain. That’s all pretty hard to do with chess.
Bergman: I see.
Harry: And you can’t use the music of Johann Sebastian Bach in the film. We’ve got a guy named John Barry and he’s been doing just fine for us.
Bergman: Oh, that is a pity.
Cubby: And you can’t have Max von Sydow play James Bond.
That must have been how excellent Sydow was cast. As an austrian I admire Klaus Maria Brandauer as well!
i also dig that Cubby is depicted as Connoisoir of the Avant Garde of Cinema arts, where Saltzman sees a female Film Noir Star, which is rather funny! Hahaha
Place:"The Factory"- Andy Warhols Arts Studio. A Party to celebrate a new exhibition by Warhol is held.
Andy Warhols, who is just settling an arts deal to Hollywood Star Sylvester Stallone, waves through the room to the entrance door with passion: "Finally! My Dear, there you are! And yes, you brought him. Excellent, I am so very delighted!"
It is addressed obviously at Grace Jones and Roger Moore at her Side, who just entered the room being on a publicity tour for A View To A Kill..
Andy Warhol: "Grace Darling! How did you manage to bring the wonderful Roger Moore to one of my parties! I heard that you argued about Grace's loud Stereo next to your changing room, Mr. Moore! You should have shot it to parts with your Wrist Watch like in the movies, Mr. Moore, this Stereo is simply too darn loud. Well, I hope there is no beef in the room, as I am a James Bond Fan!"
Roger Moore sardonically raises an eyebrow: "So I heard and that you are a genius in mass-producing your art!"
Andy Warhol smiles visibly pleased: " So I hear, maybe I could interest you in this picture over there of Elizabeth Taylor. I understand that you played a movie with her?"
Roger Moore raises his other eyebrow : "She was starring in The Last Time I Saw Paris exactly 30 years ago. I was playing her love interest. Funny, you know this movie!"
Andy Warhol laughs amused with sheer delight: "If not a gay artist, then nobody know that old bacon of a movie, Hahaha. I will write about our meeting in my memoirs and then I am going to print them."
Moore points at the Print: " Being a former professional illustrator I see the resemblance to Elizabeth in her prime. But it is too flashy and too pricey for old Roge! For that money I could get a Turner Battleship in Oil"
Andy Warhol laughs again: "Memo to myself: I will only talk about this in my memoirs as a side remark! At least you know genius!"
Andy Warhol asks Roger Moore, if he wants to have a Drink and tries to lure him into this conversation.
Roger declines cordially, but strict: " At the press junket, they filled me up with Bollinger."
Andy: " Have another one and re- enact your love scene with Grace Dear for me!"
Roger: " That I am gonna do just right now!"
Sir MilesThe Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 27,793Chief of Staff
Pett Bottom, nr Canterbury. Miss Charmain Bond calls her nephew James for a chat.
Aunt Charmain: Do come here, James, I have to talk with you.
James: Of course, Aunt. I must say I’ve had a lovely time here for the holidays and I’d much prefer staying here with you to going back to Fettes.
Aunt Charmain: Ah. That’s what I wanted to talk about. I’ve had this letter, you see.
James: Letter?
Aunt Charmain: Yes, from the school. It seems that the fees are going up again.
James: Oh, that is a shame.
Aunt Charmain: I might have been able to cope with that alone, but you see Mr Starmer and his Labour government have stopped private schools being exempt from paying VAT.
James: Value Added Tax. And how much is that going to be?
Aunt Charmain: It’s another 20%.
James: Oh.
Aunt Charmain: So you see, there’s no way I can afford to keep you at Fettes. I’m so sorry, James.
James: I’m sorry too, Aunt Charmain, but I can quite understand your position.
Aunt Charmain: And it would have been even worse if you were still at Eton.
James: How so?
Aunt Charmain: The English private schools have had their 80% business rate discount removed if they operate as charities and there is no way the schools could absorb that.
James: Still, that was always a bit of a -
Aunt Charmain: Now, don’t say such things, young man! You would still have been at Eton if there hadn’t been some trouble with one of the boy’s maids.
James: Now, that was only alleged, Aunt Charmain.
Aunt Charmain: Nevertheless, you’re going to have to leave Fettes and … and …
James: Go to a state school?
Aunt Charmain: I can’t bring myself to say it.
James: I wouldn’t worry, Aunt. 94% of the schoolchildren in the country go to state schools.
Aunt Charmain: But they don’t get jobs in the government or the BBC!
James: I suppose I’ll just have to join the Navy, then.
Monday- Got a call from Eon productions, the James Bond people. They want me to come in and see them tomorrow. I have to say that this doesn’t come as a total surprise- I’m guessing that they took a close look at “Van Helsing”, which I made a couple of years ago.
It’s practically my audition for Bond. “Your reputation precedes you” says the girl, “Your methods attract too much attention” says my boss, “I have been expecting you” says the villain, “The name’s Helsing. Van Helsing” says me. Okay, I made the last one up but you get the idea. There’s even a guy who gives me gadgets which will come in handy later. It’s all there except I don’t order my drink shaken not stirred.
Tuesday- Went to see Eon. They tell me their names are Michael and Barbara and that they are the heirs of Albert R. Broccoli who started the Bond films off many years ago. They seemed very nice and we were having a pleasant conversation up until the subject of money reared it’s ugly head. They named a figure for a three-picture deal and I was not impressed. I told them I could get that for one picture playing Wolverine, so perhaps they could increase that figure a little…? But they stayed firm. I wished them all the best and went back to my hotel.
Wednesday- A phone call early in the morning sent me back to meet with Michael and Barbara again. They asked if there was anything other than the money I wasn’t satisfied with, and just to pull their leg a bit I asked if I could sing the title song. The look of horror on their faces had me quickly telling them it was only a joke. Then they said they had been having some talks and they thought they could manage to double the first figure. I reminded them that I already had the part of Wolverine in my pocket and they would need to triple their original offer rather than double it. They said that, sadly, that wouldn’t be possible and we parted on good terms. As I left I noticed a guy sitting outside, clearly waiting for his turn to go in. No idea what he was there for, but since he was blond he clearly wasn’t there for a Bond interview.
Thursday- Met Nicole Kidman to discuss an upcoming film we’ll be doing together. It’s called “Australia”, so ten points to the marketing department for that.
We’re looking forward to working together. She told me that her ex-husband Tom would have loved to be James Bond but knew that being dark and handsome was one short of the requirements so had started his “Mission Impossible” movies instead. They’ve been very successful.
Friday- Met Clive Owen in the hotel bar and we had a drink or three.
He was none too subtly trying to find out if I had been asked to play James Bond. The look of desperate hunger in his eyes made me almost tell him, but Barbara and Michael had made me sign a non-disclosure agreement before we even started discussions, so I couldn’t put him out of his misery by telling him I wouldn’t be doing it. I wonder who will….?
Sir MilesThe Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 27,793Chief of Staff
Comments
Well done guys 🤣
Thank you very much, gentlemen. I see that we have now turned a page, and regular readers know what that means. Shomeone, shomewhere, shomewhen, ish pacing back and forth....
1986. The Connery household. Sean (he’s not Sir Sean yet) is pacing back and forth, never getting too far away from the telephone. His wife Micheline looks on, concernedly.
Micheline: Oh sit down, Sean, why don’t you?
Sean: Sh1t down? I can’t sh1t down!
Micheline: Just relax and-
Sean: I can’t relax!
Micheline: Let me make you a nice cup of tea and –
Sean: A nishe cup of tea? I can’t think of a nishe cup of tea at a time like thish!
Micheline: What do you mean, “a time like thish, er, this”? Nothing is happening!
Sean: Exshactly! Nothing ish happening! That telephone ought to be ringing right now.
Micheline: And why would that be?
Sean: Look, everybody knowsh that Roger Moore hash retired from the part of Jamesh Bond.
Micheline: So?
Sean: Sho they need a replashement. They need a younger man.
Micheline: Sean, you’re only three years younger than Roger.
Sean: And?
Micheline: I think they were thinking about someone perhaps twenty years younger. The rumours are that it might be the guy who plays “Remington Steele” on TV.
Sean: Nonshenshe. They should ashk me.
Micheline: Maybe they’re afraid of how much money you’d want.
Sean: They gave Roger a whole heap of money for that lasht one he did, “A View To A Facelift”.
Micheline: And everybody knows you said “never again”.
Sean: But then I shaid “Never Shay Never Again”.
Micheline: So this time you’re going to say “Never Say Never Say Never Again”.
Sean: (Shrugs.) I might.
(The telephone rings. Sean picks it up with a practiced ease.)
Sean: Hello? …. Oh, it’sh you …. What, Jamesh Bond again? …. No … No! …. Now pish off!
(He slams the phone down.)
Micheline: Do you mean to tell me that after all that talk you just told Cubby Broccoli to piss off?
Sean: Oh, hell, no. That wash Kevin McClory.
Micheline: Well, that’s all right then.
Excellent 🤣👏🏻🤣
😅🤣😂
Have you .... "found" Ingmar Bergman's interview yet?
Micheline: So this time you’re going to say “Never Say Never Say Never Again”. 😂🤣👏
is this the first time in the conversations Connery has been asked to sh!t while his wife makes him a nice cup of tea?
we should have more adventures where Connery jusht sh!ts around, sh!tting over here, sh!tting over there, sh!tting jusht about anywhere he feelsh like! after youve been running all over the place chashing SHPECTRE agentsh and shaving the world, sometimes it feels good jusht to relax and have a nice cumfy sh!t
Thank you all very much, guys, much appreciated.
Yes, I do believe it's the first time Connery has been asked to sh!t though I can't be sure. It had to happen, and while I have no plans to overdo it you never know if it will turn up again.
@Number24 that's definitely going to happen but I found someone else's first.....
2015. Eon HQ, disguised as a drugs lab near Isthmus City. BB and MGW are interviewing potential writers.
MGW: Are you sure about this next one, Barbara?
BB: She’s a very famous and talented writer.
MGW: Exactly, why should she want to work for us?
BB: Who knows? Let’s call her in. (Presses a button on the intercom.) Send in the next applicant, please.
Secretary: (Through intercom.) Yes, Ms Broccoli.
(An elegant woman with reddish blonde hair enters.)
MGW: Do come in Ms Rowling, take a seat.
Joanne: Thank you. (Sits.) Call me Joanne.
BB: Ah, I’d always wondered what the J stood for. What’s the K?
Joanne: Kathleen, after my grandmother- but it’s not my middle name, I just picked it because it sounded good.
MGW: Ah, I see.
Joanne: On that subject, what’s the G for in your name?
MGW: It’s Gregg.
Joanne: (Dreamily.) Oh, that suits you.
MGW: (Even more dreamily.) And Joanne suits you. It’s a lovely name.
Joanne: Oh, thank you.
(They stare into each other’s eyes. A moment passes.)
BB: (Loudly.) Ahem!
MGW: Er, yes. Anyway, what brings probably the most successful author of this century to us? Surely you don’t need the work. You could probably buy Eon Productions if you wanted to.
Joanne: Really? I’d think Mr Besoz might have something to say if I tried. I just fancied a change, that’s all.
BB: Well, we’ve been having a look through this initial treatment that you’ve been kind enough to send us and we have a few comments to make.
Joanne: Oh yes?
MGW: Firstly, it’s part of our hero’s character that he uses a gun, specifically a Walther PPK, to kill the villains.
Joanne: Not a wand, then?
BB: No, not a wand.
Joanne: Not even one made from holly with a phoenix feather core?
MGW: Not even that. Also, he takes orders from someone known as M, not Headmaster Dumbledore.
Joanne: Well, I was just thinking it might be -
BB: And, yes, we know that M looks a bit like Lord Voldemort
but that doesn’t mean they’re the same man in disguise.
Joanne: But they ARE the same man in disguise.
MGW: We just ignore that. Now, this part here which starts off the big fight at the end of the story when our heroes break into the villain’s base.
Joanne: Yes?
BB: He seems to have some friends with him.
Joanne: Well, he can’t exactly do it all by himself.
MGW: On the contrary, that is pretty much what he usually does. Okay, sometimes he might be accompanied by his friend Felix, that’s true, but he doesn’t even know anyone called Hermione and she’s far too young to be there anyway.
Joanne: But she’s the clever one, she has all the brains.
BB: She isn’t going to be there. “James, Felix and Hermione break into the villain’s base” is not a sentence which we want to see in our script.
Joanne: I see.
MGW: And no, you can’t have Daniel Radcliffe as James Bond.
Joanne: But Pierce Brosnan said –
BB: We know what he said, but he was joking.
Joanne: Aw.
Both Bond & Potter have facial scars too…and Robbie Coltrane in common 😱
Good one, Barbel 👏🏻🤣
Thanks, Sir M.
This next one is specifically for @Number24 who requested it above.
1965. Eon HQ, underneath a mango tree.
Cubby: It’s a bit exciting, isn’t it, Harry?
Harry: Yes, I’d never have thought this would happen.
Cubby: I mean, someone as distinguished as this wanting to work for Eon.
Harry: I know- “Casablanca”, “Gaslight”, “For Whom The Bell Tolls”. All great, great movies.
Cubby: Er, Harry?
Harry: “Spellbound”, “Notorious” –
Cubby: Harry!
Harry: Yes, what is it?
Cubby: You’re thinking of Ingrid Bergman.
Harry: Yes, of course. She’s wonderful, and we should be really honoured that she’d –
Cubby: This is Ingmar Bergman.
Harry: Ingmar?
Cubby: Ingmar Bergman the director. Not Ingrid Bergman the actress.
Harry: There’s two of them?
Cubby: (Sighing.) Just call him in, Harry.
Harry: Oh, of course. (Presses button on intercom.) Send the next one in, please.
Secretary: (On intercom.) Yes, Mr Saltzman.
(The door opens and a dark-haired man in his forties enters.)
Cubby: Please, have a seat, Mr Bergman.
Bergman: Thank you. (Sits.)
Harry: Now, we’ve been having a look at these ideas you have sent us and we have a few comments to make.
Bergman: Oh yes?
Cubby: While we have nothing against profoundly personal meditations into the myriad struggles facing the psyche and the soul, we’re not sure that can be fitted into our plans to have James Bond do a lot of underwater swimming while looking for atom bombs and seducing as many women as possible.
Bergman: You don’t think his search may be symbolising an internal one for a hidden gem of a place, which has personal or sentimental value to him?
Harry: No, he’s just doing what his boss tells him to do.
Bergman: He isn’t exploring philosophical themes such as introspection and human existence?
Cubby: He’s only interested in humans who look good in a bikini.
Bergman: Surely you would want him to represent a modern knight?
Harry: Well, Fleming did say something along those lines, yes.
Bergman: Then this knight will play chess with Death himself for his very soul and those of –
Cubby: No, not at all. He might play chess with the villain early in the movie but what we like is for the villain to try to cheat. Bond spots this, and outcheats the villain. That’s all pretty hard to do with chess.
Bergman: I see.
Harry: And you can’t use the music of Johann Sebastian Bach in the film. We’ve got a guy named John Barry and he’s been doing just fine for us.
Bergman: Oh, that is a pity.
Cubby: And you can’t have Max von Sydow play James Bond.
Bergman: Aw.
Cubby: And you can’t have Max von Sydow play James Bond.
Bergman: Aw. Could he be Largo...or perhaps Blofeld?
(Harry gets up and runs to the door. He presses his ear against it.)
Bergman: What are you doing?
Harry: I thought I heard someone listening.
Cubby: Damn, that'll be Kevin McClory again - I hope we haven't given him any ideas.
🤣🤣🤣
Excellent 😂🤣👏
Thanks very much, guys.
That must have been how excellent Sydow was cast. As an austrian I admire Klaus Maria Brandauer as well!
i also dig that Cubby is depicted as Connoisoir of the Avant Garde of Cinema arts, where Saltzman sees a female Film Noir Star, which is rather funny! Hahaha
A hot and humid Summer Evening 1985, in New York.
Place:"The Factory"- Andy Warhols Arts Studio. A Party to celebrate a new exhibition by Warhol is held.
Andy Warhols, who is just settling an arts deal to Hollywood Star Sylvester Stallone, waves through the room to the entrance door with passion: "Finally! My Dear, there you are! And yes, you brought him. Excellent, I am so very delighted!"
It is addressed obviously at Grace Jones and Roger Moore at her Side, who just entered the room being on a publicity tour for A View To A Kill..
Andy Warhol: "Grace Darling! How did you manage to bring the wonderful Roger Moore to one of my parties! I heard that you argued about Grace's loud Stereo next to your changing room, Mr. Moore! You should have shot it to parts with your Wrist Watch like in the movies, Mr. Moore, this Stereo is simply too darn loud. Well, I hope there is no beef in the room, as I am a James Bond Fan!"
Roger Moore sardonically raises an eyebrow: "So I heard and that you are a genius in mass-producing your art!"
Andy Warhol smiles visibly pleased: " So I hear, maybe I could interest you in this picture over there of Elizabeth Taylor. I understand that you played a movie with her?"
Roger Moore raises his other eyebrow : "She was starring in The Last Time I Saw Paris exactly 30 years ago. I was playing her love interest. Funny, you know this movie!"
Andy Warhol laughs amused with sheer delight: "If not a gay artist, then nobody know that old bacon of a movie, Hahaha. I will write about our meeting in my memoirs and then I am going to print them."
Moore points at the Print: " Being a former professional illustrator I see the resemblance to Elizabeth in her prime. But it is too flashy and too pricey for old Roge! For that money I could get a Turner Battleship in Oil"
Andy Warhol laughs again: "Memo to myself: I will only talk about this in my memoirs as a side remark! At least you know genius!"
Andy Warhol asks Roger Moore, if he wants to have a Drink and tries to lure him into this conversation.
Roger declines cordially, but strict: " At the press junket, they filled me up with Bollinger."
Andy: " Have another one and re- enact your love scene with Grace Dear for me!"
Roger: " That I am gonna do just right now!"
Very good 👏🏻🤣
Yes, well done @Xando. 😁
I'm busy at the moment so haven't been able to be on AJB as much as usual. I hope to be back soon.
What will happen when VAT is added to private school fees? - BBC News
Pett Bottom, nr Canterbury. Miss Charmain Bond calls her nephew James for a chat.
Aunt Charmain: Do come here, James, I have to talk with you.
James: Of course, Aunt. I must say I’ve had a lovely time here for the holidays and I’d much prefer staying here with you to going back to Fettes.
Aunt Charmain: Ah. That’s what I wanted to talk about. I’ve had this letter, you see.
James: Letter?
Aunt Charmain: Yes, from the school. It seems that the fees are going up again.
James: Oh, that is a shame.
Aunt Charmain: I might have been able to cope with that alone, but you see Mr Starmer and his Labour government have stopped private schools being exempt from paying VAT.
James: Value Added Tax. And how much is that going to be?
Aunt Charmain: It’s another 20%.
James: Oh.
Aunt Charmain: So you see, there’s no way I can afford to keep you at Fettes. I’m so sorry, James.
James: I’m sorry too, Aunt Charmain, but I can quite understand your position.
Aunt Charmain: And it would have been even worse if you were still at Eton.
James: How so?
Aunt Charmain: The English private schools have had their 80% business rate discount removed if they operate as charities and there is no way the schools could absorb that.
James: Still, that was always a bit of a -
Aunt Charmain: Now, don’t say such things, young man! You would still have been at Eton if there hadn’t been some trouble with one of the boy’s maids.
James: Now, that was only alleged, Aunt Charmain.
Aunt Charmain: Nevertheless, you’re going to have to leave Fettes and … and …
James: Go to a state school?
Aunt Charmain: I can’t bring myself to say it.
James: I wouldn’t worry, Aunt. 94% of the schoolchildren in the country go to state schools.
Aunt Charmain: But they don’t get jobs in the government or the BBC!
James: I suppose I’ll just have to join the Navy, then.
🤣
I suppose there was one perk to Bond’s indiscretions then 🤗
😁😂👏
Which is the new woke James Bond?
The sailor, maybe. 😁
2006
The Diary Of Hugh Jackman
Monday- Got a call from Eon productions, the James Bond people. They want me to come in and see them tomorrow. I have to say that this doesn’t come as a total surprise- I’m guessing that they took a close look at “Van Helsing”, which I made a couple of years ago.
It’s practically my audition for Bond. “Your reputation precedes you” says the girl, “Your methods attract too much attention” says my boss, “I have been expecting you” says the villain, “The name’s Helsing. Van Helsing” says me. Okay, I made the last one up but you get the idea. There’s even a guy who gives me gadgets which will come in handy later. It’s all there except I don’t order my drink shaken not stirred.
Tuesday- Went to see Eon. They tell me their names are Michael and Barbara and that they are the heirs of Albert R. Broccoli who started the Bond films off many years ago. They seemed very nice and we were having a pleasant conversation up until the subject of money reared it’s ugly head. They named a figure for a three-picture deal and I was not impressed. I told them I could get that for one picture playing Wolverine, so perhaps they could increase that figure a little…? But they stayed firm. I wished them all the best and went back to my hotel.
Wednesday- A phone call early in the morning sent me back to meet with Michael and Barbara again. They asked if there was anything other than the money I wasn’t satisfied with, and just to pull their leg a bit I asked if I could sing the title song. The look of horror on their faces had me quickly telling them it was only a joke. Then they said they had been having some talks and they thought they could manage to double the first figure. I reminded them that I already had the part of Wolverine in my pocket and they would need to triple their original offer rather than double it. They said that, sadly, that wouldn’t be possible and we parted on good terms. As I left I noticed a guy sitting outside, clearly waiting for his turn to go in. No idea what he was there for, but since he was blond he clearly wasn’t there for a Bond interview.
Thursday- Met Nicole Kidman to discuss an upcoming film we’ll be doing together. It’s called “Australia”, so ten points to the marketing department for that.
We’re looking forward to working together. She told me that her ex-husband Tom would have loved to be James Bond but knew that being dark and handsome was one short of the requirements so had started his “Mission Impossible” movies instead. They’ve been very successful.
Friday- Met Clive Owen in the hotel bar and we had a drink or three.
He was none too subtly trying to find out if I had been asked to play James Bond. The look of desperate hunger in his eyes made me almost tell him, but Barbara and Michael had made me sign a non-disclosure agreement before we even started discussions, so I couldn’t put him out of his misery by telling him I wouldn’t be doing it. I wonder who will….?
And probably very close to the truth 🤣
It must really bug EON how you know all this.