Or for a market we can go fictitious with a ridiculous name like The North Southwark Market or Southwark North. Maybe the warehouse can be along the Thames in Southwark North.
looks like I paused it at a good spot, right between "no youre working for Ross I'm working for Dalby" and the scene at the bandshell; which is the bit where Dalby really lets his hair down and bops to the toons.
Thing is in both scenes there musical references that are hard to retrofit to 1590. Easiest one is in 'arry's apartment, obviously he cant have a hi-fi to play Mozart while he cooks. so whats he have, a collection of sheet music and an instrument? Did they ave arpsichords in 1590? if not what, Clapsichords? Yeoldemichords?
More difficult is to find music for Palmer and Dalby to debate. Mozart wasnt a thing in 1590, nor even Dalby's military marches.
Moving ahead, there's room for a big "now my name's not 'arry" joke in the brainwashing sequence. As @Westward_Drift suggests we can make the brainwasher a Sorceror and even feed 'arry allucinogens.
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('arry's in a gaol cell. The slot in the door opens, theres a nice meal wif champignons and maize and crispy fried potatoes and a cup of espresso and other fine imported ingredients. 'e reaches for the meal and is fingers are whacked with a ammer, and the meal is taken away.)
(a week later, 'arry's still in a gaol cell. The slot in the door opens, theres a big nasty stinky wormy slice of amanita muscaria waiting for im. 'arry's starvin and e dont get is fingers whacked, so e eats the nasty slice of amanita muscaria)
(an hour later, our 'arry's tootally trippin. The guards come 'n' drag im to a torture chamber. There the Sorcerer disorients im wif a Magic Lantern show)
(and the BBC Audiophonic Workshop further torture im wif weird sound effects, like the sound of Neddie Seagoon walking down an endless corridor)
Palmer: naw, naw, make it stop!
Sorcerer: Now, listen to me. You will obey what I say. you will forget the Ipcress Folio.
Palmer: oh wowww, where am I? whatsa Ipcress Folio?
Sorcerer: You will obey what I say. You will forget your own name.
Palmer: Wait! What name? I dont fink I as a name!
Sorcerer:You will forget your own name. What is your name?
Palmer: well I know one fing! My name aint 'arry!
Sorceror:(breaks wand, pulls at goatee, and jumps up and down seething mad) Blast it all! Can we never break this ones will? He is resisting my sorcery!
Two scenes by caractacus, blended together + one bit from Westward. This comes after the Harry/Jean scene which comes after the library scene. At some point before this scene we have to mention the parrot referred to below.
A trendy booth at ye Farmers Market specialising in exotic American imports. 'arry is shopping for newly introduced food products only grown in ye Americas, looking very hip and at home. In ye middle of ye aisle he spots Ross, staring at an ear of maize, looking uncomfortable and confused.
Palmer: Ah 'allo Colonel Ross, didn’t know thou were an enthusiast for ye new American imports!
Ross: (Very unconvincingly.) Palmer! What a surprise to see thee here! Yes, yes of course, I shop here all ye time. Love ye stuff. Er, what ist this one, seems quite popular? (Points to display being near continuously picked from by fidgety customers.)
Palmer: Now that be tobacco leaf sir, nice‘n’addictive an’ ye dont even get 'igh like wif Indian hemp! I bet some people could smoke 70 a day an’ not feel a thing!
Ross: I don’t think I see ye point of that. What ist that one you have there?
Palmer: That there is a potato.
Ross: Looks boring. Give it to ye Irish. And this?
Palmer: Ah that’s coffee beans sir, me fav'rit! ‘Tis also nice’n’addictive but it keeps ye wide awake.
Ross: Well that does sound more useful. How about this?
Palmer: Coca leaf sir, for when ye coffee don’t work no more- ‘tis even more addictive.
Ross: Now see here Palmer, are there any of these newfangled American imports that aren’t addictive drugs? Isn’t there anything nice and tasty ye can eat?
Palmer: Well that maize ye have in yer hand, sir, 'ats a food staple, lots ye can do wif maize and ‘tis very nutritious.
Ross: But how do you eat this thing?
Palmer: Wif yer teef sir, ye bite the kernels off wif yer teef.
Ross: Preposterous! Most of us English folk don’t even have teeth!
Palmer: Or... ye can slice off ye kernels and cook ‘em in an iron cauldron wif 'ot oil! Then ye get popped maize, sir! Look, ‘alf ye people in ye theatre are eatin’ bucketfuls o' that right now! (Gestures to Audience.)
Voice At Back: Oy you lot, quit chompin’ yer popped maize so loud, I can not hear ye dialogue!
Second Voice: What’s a point? This Playe makes even less sense when you can hear ye dialogue!
Ross: (Glares at Audience, then turns back to face Palmer.) Well ye still need some teeth for that. Speaking of exotic edible delicacies, Palmer, I happen to hear that, er, Major Dalby has got himself a talking parrot?
Palmer: Well I don't know if I'd know anyfink bout 'at sir.
Ross: Aye, very good, correct answer. Of course, if I were, let us say, to be interested in what this talking parrot has to say, er...
Palmer: If?
Ross: Let us imagine, just to be theoretical, that I were Colonel Ross...
Palmer: I don't know, I can’t keep up wif 'oo's 'oo in this Playe sir. (Aside to Audience.) All I know is my name aint 'arry!
Ross: ...and if, suppositionally speaking of course, I were still your superior officer, do ye think someone might, er, be able to "accidentally" procure said talking parrot for me?
Palmer: Naw, naw, sir, of course I'd never do 'at sir, cuz 'at would be illegal.
Ross: In that case, theoretically speaking, what if I were to "accidentally" throw your smart arse back into Gaol if you don't? (Ross gives a very direct look at Palmer, who looks straight back at him. Ross changes ye subject.) How about this one? A glass vessel full of "Pre-Chewed Maize", it says, "No Teeth Required"!
Palmer: Naw ye don’t want 'at, 'ats baby food, sir!
well thats pretty neat @Barbel I was going to do it a bit more cut-up, two lines about the Parrot then four lines pretending to talk foods then two more lines about implied blackmail then back to pretending to talk food. I watched that scene closely a second time last night because it was right before I paused, and theyre switching between the two conversations the whole scene (while getting in the way of civilian shoppers, and Ross actually threatens Palmer with his shopping cart!)
but probably simpler to do exactly as youve done, just insert the whole "real" conversation immediately prior to the punchline, then we get Ross blackmailing 'arry and 'arry responds by one-upping him with the babyfood gag. no need to overcomplicate further
I'm still not sure about the actual American imports, I was going to check wikipedia to see what foods were "discovered" in America, , but I think the conversation reads funny as is.
Don't know what WD is going to come up with, so I want to wait and see if it's easy to put a parrot reference in there, or with the Jean scene, or just write another with our man + Carswell- come to think of it, that's probably best and we could include the dialogue you wrote earlier in 2901.
I did just look for more foods. Cant find a simple list, but as well as what we've named, theres potato (as Westward suggested), tomato, squash, and chocolate! just about everything! what did europeans eat before they "discovered' the americas and all those nice imported foods? brussel sprouts?
I may add a few as a list, maybe 'arry waves to a display and says "an there ye ave peppers, tomatillo, potato, sweet potato, squash, avocado, pineapple, banana, chocolate, and vanilla, etc" without any jokes, just the list, while Ross pays no attention, he wants to get to the point, which is this talking parrot he's heard about. Let me think about that...
I was going to mention chocolate, I certainly know about that one, but the problem is Ross would like it and thatd be a digression thats not as funny as him being confused how to eat corn or thinking tobacco is a food.
At some point before this scene we have to mention the parrot referred to below.
see my scene where they break into the warehouse, post 2891 on the last page. Thats where the talking parrot is introduced. Whats needed is a quick scene immediately after that where the staff are trying to get the parrot to talk and it just makes weird noises (sound effects by the BBC Audiophonic Workshop). We can do that in a paragraph, two maybe four lines of dialog at most.
haha! now I remember the order of scenes in the film better than you!
I'll list this fresh from memory, theres actually a lot of scenes!
I'll bold the scenes already written, let me know if I missed any
precredits is kidnapping of the 1st scientist and killing of 'arry's predecessor at the train station. We havent touched that and dont hink we need to.
credits shows 'arry painstakingly making his morning coffee and showing off his kitchen.
'arry goes to stakeout apartment and is told ross wants to see him
dialog with Ross as already written.post 2868 We could easily begin our playe with this scene, the earlier dont add anything.
Ross takes 'arry over to Dalby's, introduction of various characters
'arry's first meeting with Dalby already written also in post 2868
Dalby's meeting scene where 'arry first sees Jean, and asks Jock if "she's 'is bird" (we need 'arry to use the word "bird" a few more times, and to oggle a few "birds") already written also in post 2894
Jock shows 'arry his desk and explains the paperwork and 'arry says thats not his way and leaves (already done, also post 2894, also post 2897) (can we insert my gag from post 2901 here)
'arry goes to police station and asks for file on suspect, which exists!
(then the Library scene which westward is working on)
another quick meeting scene where Palmer says he made contact with the suspect but lost him, and Dalby scolds him as a failure "I expect more legwork, less inspired hunches"
I think next is the first scene with Jean at 'arry's apartment. She's searched it while he's out, but does not stay for dinner.
he gets a call from his police contact, they've actually arrested the man 'arrry's tailing
when he gets to police HQ the prisoner's been murdered and a man with 'arry's ID has taken his belongings (classic Deighton logic here), but i think the police got a license plate which leads to the warehouse
'arry requires paperwork to be filled out to get a warrant to search the warehouse (a good spot for paperwork jokes, ut how to render this scene without telephones?)
then the warehouse scenewhere 'arry finds a tape (already done post 2891)
a quick scene where the tape only makes weird sound effects
'arry is blackmailed by Ross at the supermarket (already done post 2916)
'arry returns home and this time makes supper for Jean, and realises she's working for Ross
quick scene at the office, Dalby tells 'arry to meet him at the bandshell
big scene at the bandshell where Dalby enthuses about mlitary marches, then they are surrounded by bad guys and negotiate the exchange of the last scientist (this is a big scene we have to include, but what to do about the musical references?)
underground parking garage where Dalby hands over a briefcase full of cash and the bad guys hand over the last scientist. 'arry accidentally shoots someone who turns out to be CIA. Theres almost no dialog in this but its key to the plot.
Dalby scolds 'arry for shooting a CIA man but then says not to worry (he's obviously setting 'arry up here)
'arry realise he's being followed.
'arry escorts the returned scientist to a lecture, where he acts peculiar. 'arry confronts the man following him, who is also CIA, but the CIA man says something to make 'arry suspicious of Dalby.
(I may be forgetting a few scenes here)
'arry returns to his apartment to find the second CIA agent dead in his apartment. He returns to the office to find the folio has disappeared.
'arry arranges to meet Dalby, who recommends he make himself scarce. Dalby wont protect Palmer, he's too hot (again, evidence its Dalby who's arranged for both CIA men to be killed, incriminating 'arry)
'arry tells Jean he's catching a train to Europe but does not tell not Dalby. As soon as 'arry leaves, Jean tells Ross (so this is the other bit that confuses me)
'arry is kidnapped on the train, and believes he is already in europe
prison and brainwashing scenes (already done post 2913)
'arry overcomes guards and escapes: he's been in London all this time
'arrry calls Dalby, who we see is sitting right next to the brainwasher
Dalby tells 'arry to meet him at the warehouse, but also to invite Ross
big showdown at the warehouse where 'arry has his gun trained on both his bosses and cant be sure which is lying, until he recognises Dalby is using the same signal words as the brainwasher. Dalby says "do as I say Palmer... kill the traitor" and 'arry does just that, killing Dalby.
the film ends at the warehouse, with Ross telling 'arry all that he's been through is just th job he's paid for.
phew! cant believe I memorised all that, the story almost makes sense!
anyway we obviously dont have to do all those scenes, best to pick maybe a quarter (or less) that are truly representative and just summarise any needed missing info as exposition within those scenes we keep. This doesnt need to be a three hour epic like Nay Time to Die, just an encapsulation of the experience.
As you say, phew! (And I think my memory is holding up not too bad, you've watched it much more recently than me.) There's no way we do all of the scenes- as suggested earlier (by you I think) we just do the highlights.
Jean in his flat, the band scene, the bit where he thinks he's in Europe behind the Iron Curtain, the showdown are all definite. A few others, to taste.
Carswell: Now ye start by filling in this bit here,’tis thine name, see? Your name would be Harry, of course?
Palmer: Yeah, ‘tis right. (Turns to audience, hand to mouth as if sharing a secret.) Now my name's not 'arry!
Carswell: (Writing very carefully.) Hair... Ree! Now, that’s done it! Looks good! Now let me see…. (Counts.) Only nineteen more pages to go and we're done with this one! And after that we can start on those!(Points to overflowing pile of papers tumbling off table onto floor.)
Palmer: Thou hast got to be kidding me, surely!
Carswell: Nay, and my name ist not-
Palmer: This form here- it mentions something about a parrot.
Carswell: Thou art not authorised to discuss parrots, Palmer. Not without filling in this form- Section 26, Paragraph 5. Need to know. Sure thou doth understand.
I'd say we focus on the real ipcress experience content like paperwork jokes, 'arry's insubordinate attitude, and how funny Dalby really is. All this stuff to do with plot is actually not important; the movie has the reputation of being confusing, so if we just skip huge chunks of plot we're actually doing a better job of rendering the experience!
by the way, when Dalby trades a briefcase of cash for the scientist, it should be a chest of dubloons and other pyrate booty, as undoubtedly circulated in black markets in those days.
and we dont need to show the second CIA agent killed, this first incident alone could be reason for 'arry to go into hiding. That cuts out a big chunk of the second half right there. Bandshell > parking garage > 'arry tries to leave town > brainwashing > confrontation with rival bosses > the end
and the scene where he cooks dinner for Jean of course
"Im working for Dalby, youre working for Ross" "no youre working for Ross I'm working for Dalby" I think encapsulates the experience better than any other dialog, its gotta be there. also this scene showcases 'arry's apartment, is kitchen, is love of cooking, and whatever e ad in place of an 'i-fi in 1590.
Since we are in circa 1590, instead of an American agent, can we make him French? Or maybe Dutch? He's introduced in the Alchemists library. I need to figure out some sort of clothing to make him stand out. No tape repaired glasses.
where the CIA agents are from isnt important, theyre not characters, they have one line of dialog between them and that's to alert us to Dalby. We should already be suspicious of Dalby by this point, he's by far the most over-acting character in the story thus obviously the villain. So the CIA agent doesnt need to say a word, just get shot and therefor 'arry has to leave town.
America makes no sense. France is maybe better, I cant remember how the alliances went in 1590. Wouldna been Spain, I know that, Spains obviously the Opposition. were the French even a friendly power at the time? thered just been a hundred years war and theyre still Catholic. Wouldnt Netherlands be the closest ally? anyway, not America.
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Jean Courtney
theres two scenes with Jean in the apartment, they can be compressed to one. The argument about which one is secretly working for Ross is in the 2nd scene, following the supermarket scene. but the 1st scene where she doesn't stay for supper is probably more important: she's broken into his apartment and searched it, then he enters and offers to make her supper. She declines, but she tells us what she knows about his background from his file. This is an exposition dump where we learn everything we know about his background, including why both Ross and Dalby are both blackmailing him with a return to prison.
Upthread @Westward_Drift did a bit of a character profile for 'arry, as corrected for 1590 context. That material could be used in our Playe in this scene.
so first scene with Jean is most important, we just move the "youre working for Ross" dialog into this scene. 'arry's already suspicious of her cuz she just searched is apartment. And we can let er eat a nice meal and stay the night.
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the title
in the film the tape 'arry finds is labelled with the word IPCRESS. Then we see someone open a new file and write the word IPCRESS on it. In our Playe the parrot can have a collar, just like the family dog, and a tag with the word IPCRESS. Its probably the bird's name, but these spies are so suspicious they think its a clue and must have a deeper meaning.
It's a parrot, so it can have a metal leg band with the name Ipcress engraved on it.
In my library scene the CIA agent is merely the Suspicious Stranger hiding behind bookcases and the like.
In 1596 there was the Triple Alliance between France, England, and the Netherlands. I think I am going to ask we make him France. He can wear a doublet in eggplant purple. When killed his papers can identify him as Aubergine. (Let's see how many asides to Bond we can slip in)
well youve already written a scene with this character, so you decide. and you clearly know your history better than me so I trust you. I'm just guessing all this stuff. plus or minus about 200 years!
but as I say if you know these details and I obviously dont, please give us history lessons, thats half the fun!
OK my historic contribution, just to resolve an anachronism
according to Wikipedia "The harpsichord was most likely invented in the late Middle Ages. By the 16th century, harpsichord makers in Italy were making lightweight instruments with low string tension."
so thats simple. 'arry's aprtment doesnt ave an 'i-fi, instead it as an 'arpsichord. everybody knows what a harpsichord is and it makes sense in the context. and our 'arry definitely as one of these newfangled Italian models wif th low string tension an lightweight so ye can easily lug it up four flights o stairs. 'arry's 'ip and trendy, 'e 'as the latest 'arpsichord.
(EDIT @Barbel is low string tension actually an improvement? its sounds like itd make the strings sloppy and out of tune)
He also has a vast collection of sheet music, whatever the Elizabethan versions of Mozart and Modern Jazz were, no need to overthink, we can just make anachronistic puns rather than get the detail historically right. like Asterix history. Asterix would have ancient pop groups like the Rolling Menhirs. Lets elizabethan-ify actual titles of Mozart symphonies and Miles Davis albums.
Palmer's apartment has the low wood beams and an elaborate kitchen that seems to overspill its portion of the floorplan. I think he's meant to live in a small cluttered apartment and a lot of the area is given over to cooking needs. Supposedly theres actual Len Deighton published recipes pinned up on his walls. The area round the hifi's quite important to this character as well and well-ordered, the rest is a bit of a mess.
in the film 'arry seats Jean next to the hifi and has her lissen to Mozart while he cooks. I think this is more important to the Ipcress experience than the plot details, 'arry puts a lot of his sense of identity into this apartment, and the film sort of fetishizes it.
here in post 2890@Westward_Drift gave us his character notes for a 16th Century version of Harry Palmer
He's a former prisoner forced to work for the intelligence service. He's a one time Naval Yeoman in our work. I presume he was jailed for smuggling. Unlike many, he can read and write. So he went to school for a time. Maybe until age 11 or so. He's literate, but to his dismay spends all his time reading and writing reports. The idea of bureaucratic paperwork would be completely alien to the audience. Books would be rare and expensive. I expect Harry to complain often and wish he'd never learned to read or write to spare him the torture of paperwork. I see Harry being useful because Yeomen go where Officers fear to tread.
we can work some of this backstory and motivation into the scene where Jean tells 'arry what she read in 'is file. Folio, sorry. Ross might paraphrase that last line.
Palmer approaches a building in the shadow of St Paul’s Cathedral. A young street urchin approaches.
Urchin: The men you desire went into that there building.
Palmer: Art thou certain?
Urchin: Aye. His carriage ist over yon. It ist readily apparent with ye orange and green racing stripes.
Palmer: So it is. Well done my good lad.
Urchin: Where’s me money? Me friends and me ‘ast searched many a time fo’ it.
Palmer hands the child a coin. The boy bites the coin and runs off.
Palmer: (Aside to the audience) Legwork ist best when other legs dost the work.
Palmer approaches the building entrance only to be stopped by a doorman.
Palmer: I hast urgent business with a gentleman named Grantby.
Doorman: Thou accent is not of a learned alchemist.
Palmer: I am merely a humble messenger, but like an alchemist I’ve always enjoyed a good session with ye “mortal and pestle.” (Palmer rhythmically pounds his fist into his palm. He leers suggestively.)
The Doorman laughs knowingly and moves to one side.
Doorman: Enter, Friend.
Palmer enters the building. He travels down a corridor and enters a grand room.
Palmer (Aside to the audience): There must be ‘undreds of books and scrolls on these shelves, but Dalby would’st ‘ave us write so many reports as to make them seem but a grocery list. (He looks around.) There be my feathered quarry Budgerigar with his valet Parakeet at yon table with scrolls unfurled and books op’n’d.
Grantby: Bring me Agathodaemon’s scroll of the elements.
Parakeet: Aye, sir. It may take up to 30 minutes to find which alcove it is in. Ye librarian ist at lunch.
The Valet exits and Palmer sits at the table across from Grantby.
Palmer: We come seeking Alchemist wares relating to the transmutation of lead and mercury. It wast lost on a boat on ye Thames. We think you canst help us get it back.
The other patrons loudly shush Palmer.
Grantby points to a sign:
Grantby: Canst thou read?
Palmer: Aye. I wast school’d. We would be willing to do a deal.
Nearby behind a bookcase lurks a Suspicious Stranger in an Eggplant Purple doublet. He inches closer to overhear Palmer and Grantby.
Audience Member: Hey, that man’s sneaking up on you. He looks right suspicious.
Suspicious Stranger: (replying to the audience member with a thick French accent): Shh! Sacre Bleu!Can’t thou read? (He points to the sign.)
Audience Member: No, I cannot! Wanna make somefing of it?
Grantby removes a folded bit of paper from his doublet. He scribbles a few words and hands the paper to Palmer.
Grantby: Meet me after six at this tavern.
Palmer briefly looks at the paper and puts it into his pocket. He gets up and silently leaves. As he exits the building the doorman smiles and pounds his fist into his palm.
Palmer walks down the street to The Mermaid Tavern. He spots a sign on the door
Palmer: Bastard.
Palmer runs back to the Alchemist building and espies Grantby and his valet walking toward his carriage.
Palmer: Grantby! ‘Alt! We ‘ave business.
Parakeet grabs Palmer who punches the valet. Palmer and the valet exchange blows. The pair fight with the expertise of two nine-year-olds in a sandlot.
Palmer knocks the Valet to the ground several times but in his distraction fails to see Grantby entering his carriage. The Valet stands and grabs Palmer in a bear hug. He then knees Palmer in the groin several times. Palmer collapses, writhing on the ground. Parakeet climbs aboard the carriage and he and Grantby drive off.
None of the three have noticed the Suspicious Stranger in the Eggplant Purple doublet watching the entire exchange while lurking behind a corner.
Audience Member: See, he's still lurking around. Very suspicious, I tell thee.
In the follow up scene when Harry admits Grantby got away when Dalby mentions legwork have Harry mention Parakeet worked his leg into his groin several times.
As I see it in this play the music is important. When offstage the musicians can supply he eerie sound effects for the brainwashing and the parrot. (I somehow see a stuffed parrot ala Monty Python). The musicians are on screen for the band shell meeting.
@caractacus potts maybe Jean can play the Harpsicord while Harry cooks. A bonding moment. Otherwise there can be some offstage street musicians heard through the window.
By the way, I only noticed when Harry was leaving Jean at her flat, but did jean have on a wedding band? I presume in the playe Jean will be a widow.
did jean have on a wedding band? I presume in the playe Jean will be a widow.
well in the film she is a widow, but I cant see it makes a difference and not worth mentioning in our version. we gotta streamline some dialog!
Excellent library scene, lots of details there!
the equivalent scene did give me joy in the film, because of the architecture. that was a fantastic location for a scene. But we cant render architecture in a script of a stage playe.
As I see it in this play the music is important. When offstage the musicians can supply he eerie sound effects for the brainwashing and the parrot.
(I somehow see a stuffed parrot ala Monty Python)
yes the music is important, not just as an interest to 'arry but Barry's hypnotic score, and the weird sound effects. well you seem to know how these woodenstage theatres operated, would they have had an orchestra pit? musicians off to one side? anyway, they could be accompanied by a Sound Effects team (known as the BBC Audiophonic Workshop in our version), or maybe just one man, like an old time radio sound effects specialist with a table full of lots of silly noise making gadgets. Maybe we better make him a character for the scenes with the parrot that wont talk and the brainwashing scene.
and I see a proper parrot who's alive but just wont cooperate. anyway a stuffed parrot cant make weird sound effects.
I like the idea the previously unseen offstage musicians double as characters in the Playe for the bandshell scene.
maybe Jean can play the Harpsicord while Harry cooks. A bonding moment. Otherwise there can be some offstage street musicians heard through the window.
good point, 'arry cant play is arpsichord and cook at the same time, and cookings going to be more important to him. so either Jean has to play the arpsichord or as you suggest street musicians outside the window. I think 'arry wants control of he playlist, so he'd prefer Jean play something from his sheet music collection.
Here's the current version of The Globe Theatre. As you can see there is an audience what would be the orchestra pit (back in the sixteenth century these people in the audience stood) while there are wooden benches along the periphery. Any musician, like say a lute player, could be anywhere on stage. The same stage with the same basic set is there for all the plays. No curtain, no orchestra pit. Dialogue and description provide what is seen in the mind's eye.
As our plays are reality bending anyway we pretty much ignore all this unless needed for the joke. We have the endless budget to change scenery and take cinematic flights of fancy. If we tried to do Shakespeare's Bond for real we'd all go mad.
the equivalent scene did give me joy in the film, because of the architecture. that was a fantastic location for a scene. But we cant render architecture in a script of a stage playe.
I'm glad you liked it. I honestly found it more difficult than any of the stuff I did for Nay Time To Die. The library scene in the film was all scenery and camera work. Without that it's just a few lines of pedestrian dialogue and a quick punch up. Not much there to make fun of, except for the suspicious CIA agent with the taped up Poindexter glasses. I therefore had to fill in the gaps.
I was also stuck with two major problems: the phone number and the Scientific library. Replacing the phone number with a closed meeting place was easy. Notice I was sure to keep the folded up handbill for the later bandshell scene. The other problem was the lack of public libraries in Elizabethan England. Except for Oxford and Cambridge they were all in private hands. Hence the mention of St Paul's. I wanted to leave it vague as to whether the alchemist library was somehow associated with the cathedral or St Paul's School. Btw, the Mermaid Tavern was really located close by.
So yes, I do tend to overthink these things. I guess that's why Barbel describes my scenes as serious yet funny.
Indeed I do, and the library scene is all the better for it. Congrats are in order!
Caractacus, I think we go for a mild anachronism that very few will be aware of and replace the harpsichord with a cimbalom. That's the lead instrument John Barry used for the Ipcress score (also "The Persuaders"). Jean might make a comment on how difficult they are to find (since they wouldn't be invented for another 200 years) and Harry can say he had his imported from Hungary (where they come from).
Comments
Or for a market we can go fictitious with a ridiculous name like The North Southwark Market or Southwark North. Maybe the warehouse can be along the Thames in Southwark North.
looks like I paused it at a good spot, right between "no youre working for Ross I'm working for Dalby" and the scene at the bandshell; which is the bit where Dalby really lets his hair down and bops to the toons.
Thing is in both scenes there musical references that are hard to retrofit to 1590. Easiest one is in 'arry's apartment, obviously he cant have a hi-fi to play Mozart while he cooks. so whats he have, a collection of sheet music and an instrument? Did they ave arpsichords in 1590? if not what, Clapsichords? Yeoldemichords?
More difficult is to find music for Palmer and Dalby to debate. Mozart wasnt a thing in 1590, nor even Dalby's military marches.
Moving ahead, there's room for a big "now my name's not 'arry" joke in the brainwashing sequence. As @Westward_Drift suggests we can make the brainwasher a Sorceror and even feed 'arry allucinogens.
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('arry's in a gaol cell. The slot in the door opens, theres a nice meal wif champignons and maize and crispy fried potatoes and a cup of espresso and other fine imported ingredients. 'e reaches for the meal and is fingers are whacked with a ammer, and the meal is taken away.)
(a week later, 'arry's still in a gaol cell. The slot in the door opens, theres a big nasty stinky wormy slice of amanita muscaria waiting for im. 'arry's starvin and e dont get is fingers whacked, so e eats the nasty slice of amanita muscaria)
(an hour later, our 'arry's tootally trippin. The guards come 'n' drag im to a torture chamber. There the Sorcerer disorients im wif a Magic Lantern show)
(and the BBC Audiophonic Workshop further torture im wif weird sound effects, like the sound of Neddie Seagoon walking down an endless corridor)
Palmer: naw, naw, make it stop!
Sorcerer: Now, listen to me. You will obey what I say. you will forget the Ipcress Folio.
Palmer: oh wowww, where am I? whatsa Ipcress Folio?
Sorcerer: You will obey what I say. You will forget your own name.
Palmer: Wait! What name? I dont fink I as a name!
Sorcerer:You will forget your own name. What is your name?
Palmer: well I know one fing! My name aint 'arry!
Sorceror: (breaks wand, pulls at goatee, and jumps up and down seething mad) Blast it all! Can we never break this ones will? He is resisting my sorcery!
looks like I've been getting Dalby's rank wrong all along! he's not a colonel he's a major!
@Barbel if I don't remember to fix each incorrect reference I've made to Dalby's rank, watch out for those when you rewrite?
Already in hand, caractacus.
Two scenes by caractacus, blended together + one bit from Westward. This comes after the Harry/Jean scene which comes after the library scene. At some point before this scene we have to mention the parrot referred to below.
A trendy booth at ye Farmers Market specialising in exotic American imports. 'arry is shopping for newly introduced food products only grown in ye Americas, looking very hip and at home. In ye middle of ye aisle he spots Ross, staring at an ear of maize, looking uncomfortable and confused.
Palmer: Ah 'allo Colonel Ross, didn’t know thou were an enthusiast for ye new American imports!
Ross: (Very unconvincingly.) Palmer! What a surprise to see thee here! Yes, yes of course, I shop here all ye time. Love ye stuff. Er, what ist this one, seems quite popular? (Points to display being near continuously picked from by fidgety customers.)
Palmer: Now that be tobacco leaf sir, nice‘n’addictive an’ ye dont even get 'igh like wif Indian hemp! I bet some people could smoke 70 a day an’ not feel a thing!
Ross: I don’t think I see ye point of that. What ist that one you have there?
Palmer: That there is a potato.
Ross: Looks boring. Give it to ye Irish. And this?
Palmer: Ah that’s coffee beans sir, me fav'rit! ‘Tis also nice’n’addictive but it keeps ye wide awake.
Ross: Well that does sound more useful. How about this?
Palmer: Coca leaf sir, for when ye coffee don’t work no more- ‘tis even more addictive.
Ross: Now see here Palmer, are there any of these newfangled American imports that aren’t addictive drugs? Isn’t there anything nice and tasty ye can eat?
Palmer: Well that maize ye have in yer hand, sir, 'ats a food staple, lots ye can do wif maize and ‘tis very nutritious.
Ross: But how do you eat this thing?
Palmer: Wif yer teef sir, ye bite the kernels off wif yer teef.
Ross: Preposterous! Most of us English folk don’t even have teeth!
Palmer: Or... ye can slice off ye kernels and cook ‘em in an iron cauldron wif 'ot oil! Then ye get popped maize, sir! Look, ‘alf ye people in ye theatre are eatin’ bucketfuls o' that right now! (Gestures to Audience.)
Audience: Chomp chomp chomp chomp! Chomp chomp chomp chomp! Chomp chomp chomp chomp! Chomp chomp chomp chomp! etc
Voice At Back: Oy you lot, quit chompin’ yer popped maize so loud, I can not hear ye dialogue!
Second Voice: What’s a point? This Playe makes even less sense when you can hear ye dialogue!
Ross: (Glares at Audience, then turns back to face Palmer.) Well ye still need some teeth for that. Speaking of exotic edible delicacies, Palmer, I happen to hear that, er, Major Dalby has got himself a talking parrot?
Palmer: Well I don't know if I'd know anyfink bout 'at sir.
Ross: Aye, very good, correct answer. Of course, if I were, let us say, to be interested in what this talking parrot has to say, er...
Palmer: If?
Ross: Let us imagine, just to be theoretical, that I were Colonel Ross...
Palmer: I don't know, I can’t keep up wif 'oo's 'oo in this Playe sir. (Aside to Audience.) All I know is my name aint 'arry!
Ross: ...and if, suppositionally speaking of course, I were still your superior officer, do ye think someone might, er, be able to "accidentally" procure said talking parrot for me?
Palmer: Naw, naw, sir, of course I'd never do 'at sir, cuz 'at would be illegal.
Ross: In that case, theoretically speaking, what if I were to "accidentally" throw your smart arse back into Gaol if you don't? (Ross gives a very direct look at Palmer, who looks straight back at him. Ross changes ye subject.) How about this one? A glass vessel full of "Pre-Chewed Maize", it says, "No Teeth Required"!
Palmer: Naw ye don’t want 'at, 'ats baby food, sir!
well thats pretty neat @Barbel I was going to do it a bit more cut-up, two lines about the Parrot then four lines pretending to talk foods then two more lines about implied blackmail then back to pretending to talk food. I watched that scene closely a second time last night because it was right before I paused, and theyre switching between the two conversations the whole scene (while getting in the way of civilian shoppers, and Ross actually threatens Palmer with his shopping cart!)
but probably simpler to do exactly as youve done, just insert the whole "real" conversation immediately prior to the punchline, then we get Ross blackmailing 'arry and 'arry responds by one-upping him with the babyfood gag. no need to overcomplicate further
I'm still not sure about the actual American imports, I was going to check wikipedia to see what foods were "discovered" in America, , but I think the conversation reads funny as is.
Yeah, I think we should just leave it as is.
Don't know what WD is going to come up with, so I want to wait and see if it's easy to put a parrot reference in there, or with the Jean scene, or just write another with our man + Carswell- come to think of it, that's probably best and we could include the dialogue you wrote earlier in 2901.
I did just look for more foods. Cant find a simple list, but as well as what we've named, theres potato (as Westward suggested), tomato, squash, and chocolate! just about everything! what did europeans eat before they "discovered' the americas and all those nice imported foods? brussel sprouts?
I may add a few as a list, maybe 'arry waves to a display and says "an there ye ave peppers, tomatillo, potato, sweet potato, squash, avocado, pineapple, banana, chocolate, and vanilla, etc" without any jokes, just the list, while Ross pays no attention, he wants to get to the point, which is this talking parrot he's heard about. Let me think about that...
I was going to mention chocolate, I certainly know about that one, but the problem is Ross would like it and thatd be a digression thats not as funny as him being confused how to eat corn or thinking tobacco is a food.
here's one list 7 New World Foods That Changed Europe Forever
aha here's the Wikipedia list, that was difficult to search for.
barbel ses:
At some point before this scene we have to mention the parrot referred to below.
see my scene where they break into the warehouse, post 2891 on the last page. Thats where the talking parrot is introduced. Whats needed is a quick scene immediately after that where the staff are trying to get the parrot to talk and it just makes weird noises (sound effects by the BBC Audiophonic Workshop). We can do that in a paragraph, two maybe four lines of dialog at most.
Meanwhile, can I ask for some fake paperwork names as mentioned earlier? Like BUMF/ODDER 001 or WAS/(T.E.)O.F./T.I.M.E. 002
Ah, right, so the Ross in the market scene comes later then.
haha! now I remember the order of scenes in the film better than you!
I'll list this fresh from memory, theres actually a lot of scenes!
I'll bold the scenes already written, let me know if I missed any
phew! cant believe I memorised all that, the story almost makes sense!
anyway we obviously dont have to do all those scenes, best to pick maybe a quarter (or less) that are truly representative and just summarise any needed missing info as exposition within those scenes we keep. This doesnt need to be a three hour epic like Nay Time to Die, just an encapsulation of the experience.
As you say, phew! (And I think my memory is holding up not too bad, you've watched it much more recently than me.) There's no way we do all of the scenes- as suggested earlier (by you I think) we just do the highlights.
Jean in his flat, the band scene, the bit where he thinks he's in Europe behind the Iron Curtain, the showdown are all definite. A few others, to taste.
And this, of course:
Carswell: Now ye start by filling in this bit here,’tis thine name, see? Your name would be Harry, of course?
Palmer: Yeah, ‘tis right. (Turns to audience, hand to mouth as if sharing a secret.) Now my name's not 'arry!
Carswell: (Writing very carefully.) Hair... Ree! Now, that’s done it! Looks good! Now let me see…. (Counts.) Only nineteen more pages to go and we're done with this one! And after that we can start on those! (Points to overflowing pile of papers tumbling off table onto floor.)
Palmer: Thou hast got to be kidding me, surely!
Carswell: Nay, and my name ist not-
Palmer: This form here- it mentions something about a parrot.
Carswell: Thou art not authorised to discuss parrots, Palmer. Not without filling in this form- Section 26, Paragraph 5. Need to know. Sure thou doth understand.
I'd say we focus on the real ipcress experience content like paperwork jokes, 'arry's insubordinate attitude, and how funny Dalby really is. All this stuff to do with plot is actually not important; the movie has the reputation of being confusing, so if we just skip huge chunks of plot we're actually doing a better job of rendering the experience!
by the way, when Dalby trades a briefcase of cash for the scientist, it should be a chest of dubloons and other pyrate booty, as undoubtedly circulated in black markets in those days.
and we dont need to show the second CIA agent killed, this first incident alone could be reason for 'arry to go into hiding. That cuts out a big chunk of the second half right there. Bandshell > parking garage > 'arry tries to leave town > brainwashing > confrontation with rival bosses > the end
and the scene where he cooks dinner for Jean of course
"Im working for Dalby, youre working for Ross" "no youre working for Ross I'm working for Dalby" I think encapsulates the experience better than any other dialog, its gotta be there. also this scene showcases 'arry's apartment, is kitchen, is love of cooking, and whatever e ad in place of an 'i-fi in 1590.
Yes, do that after the library scene.
bit of late 16th Century music
Some early 16th century lute music
Since we are in circa 1590, instead of an American agent, can we make him French? Or maybe Dutch? He's introduced in the Alchemists library. I need to figure out some sort of clothing to make him stand out. No tape repaired glasses.
It's not important to the plot that the agent supposedly killed by Harry is American, just that he's from a friendly nation.
That's in the film, in the book it is important.
The CIA Agent
where the CIA agents are from isnt important, theyre not characters, they have one line of dialog between them and that's to alert us to Dalby. We should already be suspicious of Dalby by this point, he's by far the most over-acting character in the story thus obviously the villain. So the CIA agent doesnt need to say a word, just get shot and therefor 'arry has to leave town.
America makes no sense. France is maybe better, I cant remember how the alliances went in 1590. Wouldna been Spain, I know that, Spains obviously the Opposition. were the French even a friendly power at the time? thered just been a hundred years war and theyre still Catholic. Wouldnt Netherlands be the closest ally? anyway, not America.
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Jean Courtney
theres two scenes with Jean in the apartment, they can be compressed to one. The argument about which one is secretly working for Ross is in the 2nd scene, following the supermarket scene. but the 1st scene where she doesn't stay for supper is probably more important: she's broken into his apartment and searched it, then he enters and offers to make her supper. She declines, but she tells us what she knows about his background from his file. This is an exposition dump where we learn everything we know about his background, including why both Ross and Dalby are both blackmailing him with a return to prison.
Upthread @Westward_Drift did a bit of a character profile for 'arry, as corrected for 1590 context. That material could be used in our Playe in this scene.
so first scene with Jean is most important, we just move the "youre working for Ross" dialog into this scene. 'arry's already suspicious of her cuz she just searched is apartment. And we can let er eat a nice meal and stay the night.
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the title
in the film the tape 'arry finds is labelled with the word IPCRESS. Then we see someone open a new file and write the word IPCRESS on it. In our Playe the parrot can have a collar, just like the family dog, and a tag with the word IPCRESS. Its probably the bird's name, but these spies are so suspicious they think its a clue and must have a deeper meaning.
It's a parrot, so it can have a metal leg band with the name Ipcress engraved on it.
In my library scene the CIA agent is merely the Suspicious Stranger hiding behind bookcases and the like.
In 1596 there was the Triple Alliance between France, England, and the Netherlands. I think I am going to ask we make him France. He can wear a doublet in eggplant purple. When killed his papers can identify him as Aubergine. (Let's see how many asides to Bond we can slip in)
well youve already written a scene with this character, so you decide. and you clearly know your history better than me so I trust you. I'm just guessing all this stuff. plus or minus about 200 years!
but as I say if you know these details and I obviously dont, please give us history lessons, thats half the fun!
OK my historic contribution, just to resolve an anachronism
according to Wikipedia "The harpsichord was most likely invented in the late Middle Ages. By the 16th century, harpsichord makers in Italy were making lightweight instruments with low string tension."
so thats simple. 'arry's aprtment doesnt ave an 'i-fi, instead it as an 'arpsichord. everybody knows what a harpsichord is and it makes sense in the context. and our 'arry definitely as one of these newfangled Italian models wif th low string tension an lightweight so ye can easily lug it up four flights o stairs. 'arry's 'ip and trendy, 'e 'as the latest 'arpsichord.
(EDIT @Barbel is low string tension actually an improvement? its sounds like itd make the strings sloppy and out of tune)
He also has a vast collection of sheet music, whatever the Elizabethan versions of Mozart and Modern Jazz were, no need to overthink, we can just make anachronistic puns rather than get the detail historically right. like Asterix history. Asterix would have ancient pop groups like the Rolling Menhirs. Lets elizabethan-ify actual titles of Mozart symphonies and Miles Davis albums.
from my notes in the Harry Palmer thread:
Palmer's apartment has the low wood beams and an elaborate kitchen that seems to overspill its portion of the floorplan. I think he's meant to live in a small cluttered apartment and a lot of the area is given over to cooking needs. Supposedly theres actual Len Deighton published recipes pinned up on his walls. The area round the hifi's quite important to this character as well and well-ordered, the rest is a bit of a mess.
in the film 'arry seats Jean next to the hifi and has her lissen to Mozart while he cooks. I think this is more important to the Ipcress experience than the plot details, 'arry puts a lot of his sense of identity into this apartment, and the film sort of fetishizes it.
here in post 2890 @Westward_Drift gave us his character notes for a 16th Century version of Harry Palmer
He's a former prisoner forced to work for the intelligence service. He's a one time Naval Yeoman in our work. I presume he was jailed for smuggling. Unlike many, he can read and write. So he went to school for a time. Maybe until age 11 or so. He's literate, but to his dismay spends all his time reading and writing reports. The idea of bureaucratic paperwork would be completely alien to the audience. Books would be rare and expensive. I expect Harry to complain often and wish he'd never learned to read or write to spare him the torture of paperwork. I see Harry being useful because Yeomen go where Officers fear to tread.
we can work some of this backstory and motivation into the scene where Jean tells 'arry what she read in 'is file. Folio, sorry. Ross might paraphrase that last line.
The Library Scene. In the film a quick joyless interlude. I decided to add some street smarts to Harry while losing the previous police scene.
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Palmer approaches a building in the shadow of St Paul’s Cathedral. A young street urchin approaches.
Urchin: The men you desire went into that there building.
Palmer: Art thou certain?
Urchin: Aye. His carriage ist over yon. It ist readily apparent with ye orange and green racing stripes.
Palmer: So it is. Well done my good lad.
Urchin: Where’s me money? Me friends and me ‘ast searched many a time fo’ it.
Palmer hands the child a coin. The boy bites the coin and runs off.
Palmer: (Aside to the audience) Legwork ist best when other legs dost the work.
Palmer approaches the building entrance only to be stopped by a doorman.
Palmer: I hast urgent business with a gentleman named Grantby.
Doorman: Thou accent is not of a learned alchemist.
Palmer: I am merely a humble messenger, but like an alchemist I’ve always enjoyed a good session with ye “mortal and pestle.” (Palmer rhythmically pounds his fist into his palm. He leers suggestively.)
The Doorman laughs knowingly and moves to one side.
Doorman: Enter, Friend.
Palmer enters the building. He travels down a corridor and enters a grand room.
Palmer (Aside to the audience): There must be ‘undreds of books and scrolls on these shelves, but Dalby would’st ‘ave us write so many reports as to make them seem but a grocery list. (He looks around.) There be my feathered quarry Budgerigar with his valet Parakeet at yon table with scrolls unfurled and books op’n’d.
Grantby: Bring me Agathodaemon’s scroll of the elements.
Parakeet: Aye, sir. It may take up to 30 minutes to find which alcove it is in. Ye librarian ist at lunch.
The Valet exits and Palmer sits at the table across from Grantby.
Palmer: We come seeking Alchemist wares relating to the transmutation of lead and mercury. It wast lost on a boat on ye Thames. We think you canst help us get it back.
The other patrons loudly shush Palmer.
Grantby points to a sign:
Grantby: Canst thou read?
Palmer: Aye. I wast school’d. We would be willing to do a deal.
Nearby behind a bookcase lurks a Suspicious Stranger in an Eggplant Purple doublet. He inches closer to overhear Palmer and Grantby.
Audience Member: Hey, that man’s sneaking up on you. He looks right suspicious.
Suspicious Stranger: (replying to the audience member with a thick French accent): Shh! Sacre Bleu!Can’t thou read? (He points to the sign.)
Audience Member: No, I cannot! Wanna make somefing of it?
Grantby removes a folded bit of paper from his doublet. He scribbles a few words and hands the paper to Palmer.
Grantby: Meet me after six at this tavern.
Palmer briefly looks at the paper and puts it into his pocket. He gets up and silently leaves. As he exits the building the doorman smiles and pounds his fist into his palm.
Palmer walks down the street to The Mermaid Tavern. He spots a sign on the door
Palmer: Bastard.
Palmer runs back to the Alchemist building and espies Grantby and his valet walking toward his carriage.
Palmer: Grantby! ‘Alt! We ‘ave business.
Parakeet grabs Palmer who punches the valet. Palmer and the valet exchange blows. The pair fight with the expertise of two nine-year-olds in a sandlot.
Palmer knocks the Valet to the ground several times but in his distraction fails to see Grantby entering his carriage. The Valet stands and grabs Palmer in a bear hug. He then knees Palmer in the groin several times. Palmer collapses, writhing on the ground. Parakeet climbs aboard the carriage and he and Grantby drive off.
None of the three have noticed the Suspicious Stranger in the Eggplant Purple doublet watching the entire exchange while lurking behind a corner.
Audience Member: See, he's still lurking around. Very suspicious, I tell thee.
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In the follow up scene when Harry admits Grantby got away when Dalby mentions legwork have Harry mention Parakeet worked his leg into his groin several times.
As I see it in this play the music is important. When offstage the musicians can supply he eerie sound effects for the brainwashing and the parrot. (I somehow see a stuffed parrot ala Monty Python). The musicians are on screen for the band shell meeting.
@caractacus potts maybe Jean can play the Harpsicord while Harry cooks. A bonding moment. Otherwise there can be some offstage street musicians heard through the window.
By the way, I only noticed when Harry was leaving Jean at her flat, but did jean have on a wedding band? I presume in the playe Jean will be a widow.
did jean have on a wedding band? I presume in the playe Jean will be a widow.
well in the film she is a widow, but I cant see it makes a difference and not worth mentioning in our version. we gotta streamline some dialog!
Excellent library scene, lots of details there!
the equivalent scene did give me joy in the film, because of the architecture. that was a fantastic location for a scene. But we cant render architecture in a script of a stage playe.
As I see it in this play the music is important. When offstage the musicians can supply he eerie sound effects for the brainwashing and the parrot.
(I somehow see a stuffed parrot ala Monty Python)
yes the music is important, not just as an interest to 'arry but Barry's hypnotic score, and the weird sound effects. well you seem to know how these woodenstage theatres operated, would they have had an orchestra pit? musicians off to one side? anyway, they could be accompanied by a Sound Effects team (known as the BBC Audiophonic Workshop in our version), or maybe just one man, like an old time radio sound effects specialist with a table full of lots of silly noise making gadgets. Maybe we better make him a character for the scenes with the parrot that wont talk and the brainwashing scene.
and I see a proper parrot who's alive but just wont cooperate. anyway a stuffed parrot cant make weird sound effects.
I like the idea the previously unseen offstage musicians double as characters in the Playe for the bandshell scene.
maybe Jean can play the Harpsicord while Harry cooks. A bonding moment. Otherwise there can be some offstage street musicians heard through the window.
good point, 'arry cant play is arpsichord and cook at the same time, and cookings going to be more important to him. so either Jean has to play the arpsichord or as you suggest street musicians outside the window. I think 'arry wants control of he playlist, so he'd prefer Jean play something from his sheet music collection.
Nope, no orchestra pit.
Here's the current version of The Globe Theatre. As you can see there is an audience what would be the orchestra pit (back in the sixteenth century these people in the audience stood) while there are wooden benches along the periphery. Any musician, like say a lute player, could be anywhere on stage. The same stage with the same basic set is there for all the plays. No curtain, no orchestra pit. Dialogue and description provide what is seen in the mind's eye.
As our plays are reality bending anyway we pretty much ignore all this unless needed for the joke. We have the endless budget to change scenery and take cinematic flights of fancy. If we tried to do Shakespeare's Bond for real we'd all go mad.
@caractacus potts sez:
Excellent library scene, lots of details there!
the equivalent scene did give me joy in the film, because of the architecture. that was a fantastic location for a scene. But we cant render architecture in a script of a stage playe.
I'm glad you liked it. I honestly found it more difficult than any of the stuff I did for Nay Time To Die. The library scene in the film was all scenery and camera work. Without that it's just a few lines of pedestrian dialogue and a quick punch up. Not much there to make fun of, except for the suspicious CIA agent with the taped up Poindexter glasses. I therefore had to fill in the gaps.
I was also stuck with two major problems: the phone number and the Scientific library. Replacing the phone number with a closed meeting place was easy. Notice I was sure to keep the folded up handbill for the later bandshell scene. The other problem was the lack of public libraries in Elizabethan England. Except for Oxford and Cambridge they were all in private hands. Hence the mention of St Paul's. I wanted to leave it vague as to whether the alchemist library was somehow associated with the cathedral or St Paul's School. Btw, the Mermaid Tavern was really located close by.
So yes, I do tend to overthink these things. I guess that's why Barbel describes my scenes as serious yet funny.
Indeed I do, and the library scene is all the better for it. Congrats are in order!
Caractacus, I think we go for a mild anachronism that very few will be aware of and replace the harpsichord with a cimbalom. That's the lead instrument John Barry used for the Ipcress score (also "The Persuaders"). Jean might make a comment on how difficult they are to find (since they wouldn't be invented for another 200 years) and Harry can say he had his imported from Hungary (where they come from).
Caractacus, the low string tension isn't better or worse, just different.
Edit- a bugger to keep in tune, though.