Thanks, guys. Well, we're on a new page and you know what that means....
1974. The Holder householder. Geoffrey is pacing back and forth, never getting too far away from the telephone, while his worried wife looks on, concernedly.
Mrs Holder: Oh, sit down Geoffrey, why don’t you?
Geoffrey: Sit down? I can’t sit down!
Mrs Holder: Just relax and -
Geoffrey: Relax? I can’t relax!
Mrs Holder: Look, just sit down and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea.
Geoffrey: A nice cup of tea? I can’t think about a nice cup of tea at a time like this.
Mrs Holder: A time like this? What do you mean, “a time like this”? Nothing is happening!
Geoffrey: That’s exactly it- nothing is happening! That phone there should be ringing!
Mrs Holder: And why exactly should it be ringing?
Geoffrey: Listen my love, I happen to know that they are beginning filming of the next James Bond movie “The Man With The Golden Gun” any day now.
Mrs Holder: Yes, and?
Geoffrey: They haven’t phoned me yet!
Mrs Holder: Why should they be phoning you?
Geoffrey: They should be phoning me to reprise my acclaimed role of “Baron Samedi” from their last film!
Mrs Holder: But Geoffrey, my darling, Baron Samedi got killed in that film.
Geoffrey: No he didn’t.
Mrs Holder: Yes he did – he got thrown into a coffin full of snakes.
Geoffrey: Yes, but -
Mrs Holder: And everybody saw you – well, him – writhing about in agony as all the snakes bit him.
Geoffrey: Ah, but –
Mrs Holder: So he’s definitely dead.
Geoffrey: Listen, heart of my heart, Baron Samedi is the Lord Of The Undead. The Man Who Cannot Die.
Mrs Holder: Isn’t that Christopher Lee? He’s definitely in “The Man With -
Geoffrey: No, no, it’s me!!! I’m the voodoo god of cemeteries and chief of the legion of the dead!
Mrs Holder: Well, you might have told me all that before we got married, I might have changed my mind if I had known all that.
Geoffrey: No, listen, not me- that’s Baron Samedi!
Mrs Holder: But he’s dead from snakebite.
Geoffrey: Then how is he still there at the end of the movie riding on the train?
Mrs Holder: Oh yes, I had forgotten that.
Geoffrey: So they had better phone me very soon and invite me to join them quickly out in Asia or I will put a curse on them!
Mrs Holder: Geoffrey…
Geoffrey: Oh, yes, sorry – Baron Samedi will do that!
Sir MilesThe Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 28,026Chief of Staff
edited January 13
The Holder household - I had my fingers crossed it was Noddy 🤭🤣
Oddly, Noddy nearly made a cameo appearance in the Christmas Special but my computer decided to make some stuff disappear and I had to reconstruct some scenes and he got lost.
Thus ending my annual inclusion of a Slade in-joke 😢 in fact quite a few of my jokes got excluded in the final edit, if I was a more paranoid man I would think Barbel did it on purpose 😉
Yeah, well, sometimes nothin' can be a real cool hand.
Thanks to everyone who wrote in with their votes for the
GREAT HENCHMAN CATCHPHRASE COMPETITION
It took a long time to judge this because the standard was so high but finally the top 5 results are below:
5: BORIS GRISHENKO
“I am invincible” was a tough yardstick to live up to, and indeed our Boris does not. An extra point for the sleazy sense of humour exhibited.
-------------------------
4: MR HINX
Being a character limited to only one word (or fewer) is not uncommon in James Bond films, so you have to make that one word count. “Sh1t” is not perhaps the best choice but under the circumstances (it was his last second of screentime) we’ll give that an extra point.
--------------------------------
3: TEE HEE
It is unusual for the character and catchphrase to share a name, but that is what has happened here and it goes all the way back to Fleming in the novel “Live And Let Die”. Tee Hee’s giggle isn’t as scary as it could be, however, since Julius Harris comes across as a really nice guy and it loses a point for that.
------------------------------
2: JAWS
Over two films Jaws says exactly one line “Well, here’s to us”. One point gained for being unexpected, and ten points lost for weakening what had begun as a genuinely frightening henchman.
---------------------------------
1: ODDJOB
Who else could it be? His “Ah-ha” has the advantage of being infinitely adaptable- for example, it could mean “Look, everyone, I have found Mr Goldfinger’s golf ball” just as easily as it could mean “I would appear to have 20,000 volts coursing through my body”. A just winner.
Once again, thanks to all our entrants and if you have any further ideas for competitions please let us know.
Comments
Who’s Bill? 🤣 Very good 😁😂🤣👏
Good one 🤣🤣
Thanks, guys. Well, we're on a new page and you know what that means....
1974. The Holder householder. Geoffrey is pacing back and forth, never getting too far away from the telephone, while his worried wife looks on, concernedly.
Mrs Holder: Oh, sit down Geoffrey, why don’t you?
Geoffrey: Sit down? I can’t sit down!
Mrs Holder: Just relax and -
Geoffrey: Relax? I can’t relax!
Mrs Holder: Look, just sit down and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea.
Geoffrey: A nice cup of tea? I can’t think about a nice cup of tea at a time like this.
Mrs Holder: A time like this? What do you mean, “a time like this”? Nothing is happening!
Geoffrey: That’s exactly it- nothing is happening! That phone there should be ringing!
Mrs Holder: And why exactly should it be ringing?
Geoffrey: Listen my love, I happen to know that they are beginning filming of the next James Bond movie “The Man With The Golden Gun” any day now.
Mrs Holder: Yes, and?
Geoffrey: They haven’t phoned me yet!
Mrs Holder: Why should they be phoning you?
Geoffrey: They should be phoning me to reprise my acclaimed role of “Baron Samedi” from their last film!
Mrs Holder: But Geoffrey, my darling, Baron Samedi got killed in that film.
Geoffrey: No he didn’t.
Mrs Holder: Yes he did – he got thrown into a coffin full of snakes.
Geoffrey: Yes, but -
Mrs Holder: And everybody saw you – well, him – writhing about in agony as all the snakes bit him.
Geoffrey: Ah, but –
Mrs Holder: So he’s definitely dead.
Geoffrey: Listen, heart of my heart, Baron Samedi is the Lord Of The Undead. The Man Who Cannot Die.
Mrs Holder: Isn’t that Christopher Lee? He’s definitely in “The Man With -
Geoffrey: No, no, it’s me!!! I’m the voodoo god of cemeteries and chief of the legion of the dead!
Mrs Holder: Well, you might have told me all that before we got married, I might have changed my mind if I had known all that.
Geoffrey: No, listen, not me- that’s Baron Samedi!
Mrs Holder: But he’s dead from snakebite.
Geoffrey: Then how is he still there at the end of the movie riding on the train?
Mrs Holder: Oh yes, I had forgotten that.
Geoffrey: So they had better phone me very soon and invite me to join them quickly out in Asia or I will put a curse on them!
Mrs Holder: Geoffrey…
Geoffrey: Oh, yes, sorry – Baron Samedi will do that!
The Holder household - I had my fingers crossed it was Noddy 🤭🤣
It’s Baaarrrooonnn Saaammmeeedddiii 😬
Oddly, Noddy nearly made a cameo appearance in the Christmas Special but my computer decided to make some stuff disappear and I had to reconstruct some scenes and he got lost.
🤣😂😁
Thus ending my annual inclusion of a Slade in-joke 😢 in fact quite a few of my jokes got excluded in the final edit, if I was a more paranoid man I would think Barbel did it on purpose 😉
When Geoffrey Holder turned down the tea his wife could have offered him a 7Up.
😁 and if I'd seen that she certainly would have!
Anyone seen this? https://youtu.be/EB86UzewPdo?feature=shared
Thanks to everyone who wrote in with their votes for the
GREAT HENCHMAN CATCHPHRASE COMPETITION
It took a long time to judge this because the standard was so high but finally the top 5 results are below:
5: BORIS GRISHENKO
“I am invincible” was a tough yardstick to live up to, and indeed our Boris does not. An extra point for the sleazy sense of humour exhibited.
-------------------------
4: MR HINX
Being a character limited to only one word (or fewer) is not uncommon in James Bond films, so you have to make that one word count. “Sh1t” is not perhaps the best choice but under the circumstances (it was his last second of screentime) we’ll give that an extra point.
--------------------------------
3: TEE HEE
It is unusual for the character and catchphrase to share a name, but that is what has happened here and it goes all the way back to Fleming in the novel “Live And Let Die”. Tee Hee’s giggle isn’t as scary as it could be, however, since Julius Harris comes across as a really nice guy and it loses a point for that.
------------------------------
2: JAWS
Over two films Jaws says exactly one line “Well, here’s to us”. One point gained for being unexpected, and ten points lost for weakening what had begun as a genuinely frightening henchman.
---------------------------------
1: ODDJOB
Who else could it be? His “Ah-ha” has the advantage of being infinitely adaptable- for example, it could mean “Look, everyone, I have found Mr Goldfinger’s golf ball” just as easily as it could mean “I would appear to have 20,000 volts coursing through my body”. A just winner.
Once again, thanks to all our entrants and if you have any further ideas for competitions please let us know.