AJB: The Motion Picture

AlexAlex The Eastern SeaboardPosts: 2,694MI6 Agent
in Off Topic Chat
Here's a holiday production I'm looking forward to.

SiCo Productions Presents,

Absolutely James Bond

Directed by Terence Young

With George Hamilton as Willie Garvin

Andy Rooney as Hardyboy

Anthony Hopkins as Sir Miles

Colin Ferrell as Moonraker5

Justin Timberlake as Jetsetwilly

Catherine Zeta-Jones as Lady Rose

Sir Roger Moore as Moore Not Less

Dennis Hopper as High Hopes

David Hasselhoff as Loeffelholz

Charlize Theron as Monique

Elizabeth Taylor as MBE

With Special guest stars Patrick Macnee and Diana Rigg as Bill Tanner and Mrs. Dalloway

Coming to a theater near you!

;)
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Comments

  • Sir MilesSir Miles The Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 27,762Chief of Staff
    edited December 2006
    Alex wrote:
    With George Hamilton as Willie Garvin

    You flatter George Hamilton there -{
    Alex wrote:
    Andy Rooney as Hardyboy

    Are you sure that's not Mickey Rooney ?:)

    Joke - honest, HB {:)
    Alex wrote:
    Anthony Hopkins as Sir Miles

    You flatter me there -{
    Alex wrote:
    Colin Ferrell as Moonraker5

    Only with more swearing and drinking ;)
    Alex wrote:
    Justin Timberlake as Jetsetwilly

    Is that as or in ? ;%
    Alex wrote:
    Catherine Zeta-Jones as Lady Rose

    Sir Roger Moore as Moore Not Less

    Dennis Hopper as High Hopes

    David Hasselhoff as Loeffelholz

    Charlize Theron as Monique

    Elizabeth Taylor as MBE

    With Special guest stars Patrick Macnee and Diana Rigg as Bill Tanner and Mrs. Dalloway

    Coming to a theater near you!

    ;)

    That would be a one hell of a film - I see you left out SiCo and yourself - bloomin' coward :))
    YNWA 97
  • HardyboyHardyboy Posts: 5,906Chief of Staff
    Andy or Mickey. . .Jeeze Louise, how old do you guys think I am?!? I notice, though, that Alex hasn't cast himself. May I suggest, um, I dunno. . . Andy Dick?

    Joke. :007) But all's fair! :v
    Vox clamantis in deserto
  • highhopeshighhopes Posts: 1,358MI6 Agent
    Dennis Hopper? Let's hope we're talking about the Dennis Hopper of Easy Rider rather than Blue Velvet. Or maybe it's Giant or Rebel Without a Cause, 'cause like him I've been around forever. :))
  • DAWUSSDAWUSS My homepagePosts: 517MI6 Agent
    {[]:))
  • AlexAlex The Eastern SeaboardPosts: 2,694MI6 Agent
    highhopes wrote:
    Dennis Hopper? Let's hope we're talking about the Dennis Hopper of Easy Rider rather than Blue Velvet. Or maybe it's Giant or Rebel Without a Cause, 'cause like him I've been around forever. :))
    You're played by Hopper of Gunfight At The OK Corral. Young hoodlum.

    And I needed someone with a wry sense of humor for Hardy.

    William Shatner as TonyDP

    Russell Crowe as Predator

    Jude Law as Jamesbondmm

    Richard Branson as SiCo

    With Charles Bronson as Alex, and intoducing JennyFlexFan as Rogue Agent :D
  • Bill TannerBill Tanner "Spending the money quickly" iPosts: 261MI6 Agent
    Alex wrote:
    With Special guest stars Patrick Macnee and Diana Rigg as Bill Tanner and Mrs. Dalloway

    "We're needed, Mrs Peel..."
  • MrsDallowayMrsDalloway Posts: 79MI6 Agent
    "Indeed, Mr Steed..."
  • TonyDPTonyDP Inside the MonolithPosts: 4,307MI6 Agent
    edited December 2006
    Alex wrote:
    William Shatner as TonyDP

    :)) :)) I like it. I just hope we're talking about the young, athletic Shatner from the original Star Trek who got laid every week and not the old, fat version from Boston Legal.
  • Moonraker 5Moonraker 5 Ayrshire, ScotlandPosts: 1,821MI6 Agent
    edited December 2006
    Alex wrote:
    Colin Farrell as Moonraker5
    There's a surprise! ;) I've been hearing that a bit more these days, guess I just have to live with it!

    That did make me laugh though! I don't think I'll ever read one of Loeff's posts in the same light again! :)) And what Liz Taylor-period are we talking about for MBE? :)) {:)
    unitedkingdom.png
  • Moore Not LessMoore Not Less Posts: 1,095MI6 Agent
    Alex wrote:
    Sir Roger Moore as Moore Not Less

    Alex, I will do my best to keep the British end up. I raise a glass to you......along with my eyebrows. -{
  • Lady RoseLady Rose London,UKPosts: 2,667MI6 Agent
    Alex wrote:
    Catherine Zeta-Jones as Lady Rose

    No complaints from me Alex ;)

    Actually, I'm not sure any of these guys can do us justice :))
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent Speeding in the Tumbler...Posts: 3,676MI6 Agent
    edited December 2006
    Alex wrote:
    With Charles Bronson as Alex, and intoducing JennyFlexFan as Rogue Agent :D




    Okay, I'm getting my lawyers involved :)). There is no way this film sees production with JFF portraying me; he'll mock me by wear AVTAK IS COOL t-shirts and codpieces during shooting, pretty sure he'll repeatively forget his lines- no- no way... That's defamation I'm sure... :))

    And you, Alex...as Charles Bronson? That should make an award-winning performance considering the great Mr. Bronson's current condition...but I'm sure you'll wheel the ol' casket right up to the podium to give the masses your thanks. :v :p
    Mrs. Man Face: "You wouldn't hit a lady? Would you?"

    Batman: "The Hammer Of Justice is UNISEX!"
    -Batman: The Brave & The Bold -
  • LoeffelholzLoeffelholz The United States, With LovePosts: 8,998Quartermasters
    edited December 2006
    ...David...Hasselhoff...

    :(|)

    :v

    :p

    B-)

    :))
    Check out my Amazon author page! Mark Loeffelholz
    "I am not an entrant in the Shakespeare Stakes." - Ian Fleming
    "Screw 'em." - Daniel Craig, The Best James Bond EverTM
  • NightshooterNightshooter In bed with SolitairePosts: 2,917MI6 Agent
    Hilarious! Who would play me?
  • TonyDPTonyDP Inside the MonolithPosts: 4,307MI6 Agent
    Nightshooter wrote:
    Hilarious! Who would play me?

    With apologies to JFF, how about Adam West and Burt Ward as RogueAgent and Nightshooter? Seems somehow appropriate to me. :D
  • RogueAgentRogueAgent Speeding in the Tumbler...Posts: 3,676MI6 Agent
    edited December 2006
    TonyDP wrote:
    Nightshooter wrote:
    Hilarious! Who would play me?

    With apologies to JFF, how about Adam West and Burt Ward as RogueAgent and Nightshooter? Seems somehow appropriate to me. :D


    The way we talk on the phone...that's about right. But Night needs Teen Titans Robin costume; not Burt Ward's. :))


    I always thought that the latter's was weird for a pubescent young man. :))
    Mrs. Man Face: "You wouldn't hit a lady? Would you?"

    Batman: "The Hammer Of Justice is UNISEX!"
    -Batman: The Brave & The Bold -
  • NightshooterNightshooter In bed with SolitairePosts: 2,917MI6 Agent
    Holy leggings, Batman!
  • JennyFlexFanJennyFlexFan Posts: 1,497MI6 Agent
    Me, play Rogue?!?!?!?!?!?!?! That's a bit harsh don't you think, I mean, I'd totally have to... DISLIKE AVTAK and be Anti-Myself! It would be a challenge certainly.

    However, who would play me? JennyFlexFan would be an integral role in the movie. I'd be the comic relief... of sorts. ;)
  • AlexAlex The Eastern SeaboardPosts: 2,694MI6 Agent
    Nightshooter wrote:
    Hilarious! Who would play me?
    I'm in negotiations with Leonardo DiCaprio for the 'Shooter role. Tried to get McCauly Caulkin for JFF, but he had to withdraw due to prior commitments. :D
  • MoniqueMonique USAPosts: 696MI6 Agent
    edited December 2006
    Charlize Theron? I'm flatterd Alex. I got off easy compared to Hardy and Loeff. :))

    You know I'm not blonde though...but hey, if Bond can be blonde now....so can I. ;)

    So what is this movie about?
  • jetsetwillyjetsetwilly Liverpool, UKPosts: 1,048MI6 Agent
    Monique wrote:
    So what is this movie about?

    I don't know about the plot, but I've been assured that the sex scenes are tastefully done ;)

    Can I say that the thought of Trousersnake as me is quite possibly the most flattering thing I've heard about myself all year! Thanks for the early Christmas present Alex!
    Founder of the Wint & Kidd Appreciation Society.

    @merseytart
  • Dan SameDan Same Victoria, AustraliaPosts: 6,054MI6 Agent
    Is anyone going to play me or will I have to make do with knowing the stars? :D
    "He’s a man way out there in the blue, riding on a smile and a shoeshine. And when they start not smiling back—that’s an earthquake. and then you get yourself a couple of spots on your hat, and you’re finished. Nobody dast blame this man. A salesman is got to dream, boy. It comes with the territory." Death of a Salesman
  • HardyboyHardyboy Posts: 5,906Chief of Staff
    Alex wrote:
    And I needed someone with a wry sense of humor for Hardy.

    What? Dennis Miller, Bill Murray, and, hell, even Matthew Perry out there, and the best you can come up with is octogenerian non-actor Andy Frickin' Rooney? You'll be hearing from my lawyer, buster, and expect to catch hell from this newly formed website:

    rooneynothardyboy.com

    You don't know what kind of s--tstorm you've raised here!! X-(
    Vox clamantis in deserto
  • MrsDallowayMrsDalloway Posts: 79MI6 Agent
    Hardyboy wrote:
    ...the best you can come up with is octogenerian non-actor Andy Frickin' Rooney?

    Kismet, Hardy.
  • darenhatdarenhat The Old PuebloPosts: 2,029Quartermasters
    Hardyboy wrote:

    rooneynothardyboy.com

    You don't know what kind of s--tstorm you've raised here!! X-(

    :)) :)) :))

    Now THAT is simply the most hilarious thing I've read on AJB ever!!!
  • Willie GarvinWillie Garvin Posts: 1,412MI6 Agent
    edited December 2006
    Perhaps Jon Voight should play Hardyboy.He's been cast in the role before, so he surely has the necessary experience to do the Hardyboy justice.They even have a shared resemblance(or so I've been told...).


    Jason Biggs might be a good choice to play Dan Same.
  • Bill TannerBill Tanner "Spending the money quickly" iPosts: 261MI6 Agent
    You think you've got problems, HB? I've spent most of the afternoon trying to squeeze MrsD into an Emma Peel leather catsuit...
  • General_OurumovGeneral_Ourumov United KingdomPosts: 861MI6 Agent
    edited December 2006
    May I inquire the budget, and intended release date for the film? I would also like to know the salaries of all of the various stars, just for the gossip columns, you understand. :)
  • Moonraker 5Moonraker 5 Ayrshire, ScotlandPosts: 1,821MI6 Agent
    edited December 2006
    Sir Miles wrote:
    Alex wrote:
    Colin Ferrell as Moonraker5

    Only with more swearing and drinking ;)
    I just noticed this! Cheeky &%$€! The look-a-likie comments, not least from Alex and Mo, I can live with, similarities beyond that are grossly exaggerated :v

    Well, maybe not the drinking. Or the swearing. But I don't have one of those tapes on the internet. That I know about, anyway... :(|)

    (And as for my salary, I'm happy with a crate of Stella, cheers! :D )
    unitedkingdom.png
  • AlexAlex The Eastern SeaboardPosts: 2,694MI6 Agent
    edited December 2006
    Goodness, what a commotion. Everything about the movie biz I now believe to be absolutely true.

    John Stewart has accepted the HB role, if a contract can be signed. :(|)
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