ridiculous Bond assassination methods

why to the Bond villains not just shoot Bond instead of relying on outlandish ways of killing him? Beause that would be too easy, and there would be no multi-billion dollar Bond industry, that's why.

So let's create a list of the lamest villain attempts to erase 007:

for me, it would have to be in DAF when Wint and Kidd knock him out and place him gently in a pipe in a construction yard, and none of the workers next day (when he is still out cold, convenient since all he had to do was wake up and walk away) spotted a prone body lying in their pipe, even when it's lifted into their air and placed into the ground. Even then, the ease with which he gets out of the nearest hatch is pathetic really.

Your choices....

Comments

  • Sir Hillary BraySir Hillary Bray College of ArmsPosts: 2,174MI6 Agent
    The stupid karate school in TMWTGG. What was their plan there, exactly? To beat Bond up? To kill him with swords in a duel? To have Chula practice his dark arts on Bond? Total amateur hour crap. And what happens? Bond sucker-kicks one guy, barely beats Chula, runs away like a wuss and gets bailed out by a couple of girls in knee-high socks. Oy!
    Hilly...you old devil!
  • Pierce_BrosnanPierce_Brosnan Posts: 329MI6 Agent
    edited January 2007
    The stupid karate school in TMWTGG. What was their plan there, exactly? To beat Bond up? To kill him with swords in a duel? To have Chula practice his dark arts on Bond? Total amateur hour crap. And what happens? Bond sucker-kicks one guy, barely beats Chula, runs away like a wuss and gets bailed out by a couple of girls in knee-high socks. Oy!
    agreed B-)
  • jbfreakjbfreak Posts: 144MI6 Agent
    The tarantula, placed by Professor Dent in DN. What the heck is that all about. That tarantula is not going to bite him just because, and like Bond wouldn't feel it crawling on him anyway. Quite lame.
  • Bill TannerBill Tanner "Spending the money quickly" iPosts: 261MI6 Agent
    The Lotus chase in TSWLM.

    They sent a motorbike with sidecar rocket, a car full of hoods and a helicopter gunship after Bond. Why so much? Did they know they were likely to fail so badly? Why not just lay a carpet of spikes in the road or have some guys with machine guns hiding in ambush?
  • Napoleon PluralNapoleon Plural LondonPosts: 10,467MI6 Agent
    Probably the cable car jobby in Moonraker. That takes some planning, when they could just of course shoot Bond in the street and run off. Jaws' leap from a standing start from one car to the other a very very daft impossible moment, though it didn't occur to me as a kid at the time...
    "This is where we leave you Mr Bond."

    Roger Moore 1927-2017
  • darenhatdarenhat The Old PuebloPosts: 2,029Quartermasters
    edited January 2007
    Probably the cable car jobby in Moonraker. That takes some planning, when they could just of course shoot Bond in the street and run off. Jaws' leap from a standing start from one car to the other a very very daft impossible moment, though it didn't occur to me as a kid at the time...

    I never understood why Jaws bites through one of the cables on the platform. It does not seem to, in anyway, effect the operation of the cable car later on.
  • caractacus pottscaractacus potts Orbital communicator, level 10Posts: 4,108MI6 Agent
    Dr Nos obstacle course, as written by Fleming
    a hugely expensive convoluted setup that took up more than its share of space in the compound, and guaranteed repeated opportunities for our hero to escape
    and the whole "minklined prison" in general
    had anybody ever stayed there before?
    was Dr No waiting his entire career for 007 to one day arrive?
  • Sir Hillary BraySir Hillary Bray College of ArmsPosts: 2,174MI6 Agent
    Dr Nos obstacle course, as written by Fleming
    a hugely expensive convoluted setup that took up more than its share of space in the compound, and guaranteed repeated opportunities for our hero to escape
    and the whole "minklined prison" in general
    had anybody ever stayed there before?
    was Dr No waiting his entire career for 007 to one day arrive?
    :)) Great point, which I'd never really thought of before. By the way, it's examples like this that get me scratching my head when people talk so reverently about the "seriousness" of the novels.

    Even in the movie, there are multiple rooms, although we have no evidence that any room other than Bond's is so well-appointed. It's humorous at the end, when Bond asks where Honey is, someone says "number 7" and when bond gets there, "number 7" turns out to be...what exactly? A slowly flooding dungeon? Keep in mind, they're 100 feet below the surface -- the room would fill with water in a no time, wouldn't it?

    Ah, nitpicking is so fun...
    Hilly...you old devil!
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