James Bond: The Spy I Loved
jetsetwilly
Liverpool, UKPosts: 1,048MI6 Agent
Dear Christopher Wood:
Thank you for publishing your memoirs of your times on the Bond films. It's great to hear some behind the scenes insights into the world of 007. However, I have a few criticisms, which I hope you don't mind.
1) Calling a book "James Bond: The Spy I Loved" and printing a picture of your beardy, masculine face underneath makes it look like gay slash fiction.
2) Please consider not going down the route of small private publishers for your next book. I understand there are many advantages for writers, but from a reader's perspective, we get an awful lot of proof reading errors, dodgy layouts, and just plain awful fonts to contend with.
3) I loved hearing about "things that got away" from your screenplays. For example, the scene between M's office and 007 meeting Drax in Moonraker. This involved Bond chasing the murderer of his contact at the Eiffel Tower; the killer escapes the scene by abseiling down the side. However, I am sure you have noticed that this scene was subsequently resurrected for A View To A Kill; how did you feel about seeing your work reinterpreted six years later in a screenplay that didn't have your name on it?
4) And actually, since rumour has it that Michael G Wilson did some rewrites of your Moonraker script, how about mentioning how you felt?
5) Though considering (3) and (4), I should say that bitterness is not a charming personality trait. As such, chastising Ken Adam (who is a cinematic genius, I'm afraid) for dominating both the ears of Mr Broccoli and also, by extension, your screenplays with his sets and personality falls on deaf ears in my house.
6) The same goes for judgements on Michael Lonsdale. His speech on board the space station - "First, there was a dream", etc - is one of the finest examples of megalomaniac ranting in the entire series, and Lonsdale's understated, sinister performance is superb. Saying "Drax appears to be succumbing to a terminal case of narcolepsy" of this scene is actually quite insulting on about four different levels.
7) Though you are probably right about Curt Jurgens.
8) What could have been is always great to hear in the world of Bond, and I like your insights into your characters. For example, your frustration at Trudi Parker becoming Corinne Dufour, because you had written the character as a Californian air head, and wasn't allowed to change the dialogue to reflect the somewhat more sophisticated Ms Clery.
9) Your commentaries on the absurdities of Bond are welcome too. As you point out, Sandor shouting "Pyramids" is a rubbish clue - The pyramids are very big and follow the west bank of the Nile for a distance of 420 miles from Abu Roash just north of Gizah (sic) to Thebes; and Sandor might have been talking about the name of a betting shop or Dolly Parton's breasts, or anything.
10) And it's also great to hear you dismiss lines you didn't write. Your hatred of Corinne's "I never learnt to read" is justified and rational, and I applaud you for distancing yourself from this appaling crime against screenwriting. I also applaud you for acknowledging when Mr R Moore of Switzerland came up with a better line than you, and being gracious enough to admit it. "Keeping the British end up" is notorious for all manner of reasons, but your scripted alternative - "Gentlemen - we have just entered a new era of Anglo-Soviet co-operation." is just not in the same league.
11) Well done for writing the Confessions series of low rent sex comedies; whenever I am in the mood for something that makes Carry on Camping look like Chekhov, I turn to Robin Askwith's arse. However, I'm not so interested in hearing about it in a Bond book. Call me narrow minded, call me sad, call me shallow, but I want to hear about Roger Moore and Barbara Bach, not Rosie Dixon: Night Nurse.
12) Why didn't you work on For Your Eyes Only? Why don't you tell us if you was invited back or not? Why are there no hints as to your emotional state at being dumped around this time?
13) I still think a motorbike chase in Venice would have been great. And it probably wouldn't have involved double taking pigeons, which would be a bonus.
14) Your criticisms of the novels of TSWLM and MR are spot on, apart from your dismissal of Krebs, the best henchman never to make it to the cinema. It's clear to see how your affection for Fleming informed your two tie in novels, which are the best non-Fleming novels around (and yes, I'm including Colonel Sun).
15) A back cover quote from the producer of Starship Troopers isn't fooling anyone.
The world of Bond is such a closed shop, that it's great to hear the view from behind the trenches sometimes - and there are many points in your book when you hit this target. However, there are many times when you go off on a tangent about Robin Askwith's arse, and to be honest that's not what I paid my money to read (I say "my" money; it was actually a present from The Wife; but what's his is mine, and so on). Overall, great effort, but I can't see myself picking it up again, unless I'm going to be quoting the missing script scenes on AJB.
Thanks for your time
JetSetWilly
Thank you for publishing your memoirs of your times on the Bond films. It's great to hear some behind the scenes insights into the world of 007. However, I have a few criticisms, which I hope you don't mind.
1) Calling a book "James Bond: The Spy I Loved" and printing a picture of your beardy, masculine face underneath makes it look like gay slash fiction.
2) Please consider not going down the route of small private publishers for your next book. I understand there are many advantages for writers, but from a reader's perspective, we get an awful lot of proof reading errors, dodgy layouts, and just plain awful fonts to contend with.
3) I loved hearing about "things that got away" from your screenplays. For example, the scene between M's office and 007 meeting Drax in Moonraker. This involved Bond chasing the murderer of his contact at the Eiffel Tower; the killer escapes the scene by abseiling down the side. However, I am sure you have noticed that this scene was subsequently resurrected for A View To A Kill; how did you feel about seeing your work reinterpreted six years later in a screenplay that didn't have your name on it?
4) And actually, since rumour has it that Michael G Wilson did some rewrites of your Moonraker script, how about mentioning how you felt?
5) Though considering (3) and (4), I should say that bitterness is not a charming personality trait. As such, chastising Ken Adam (who is a cinematic genius, I'm afraid) for dominating both the ears of Mr Broccoli and also, by extension, your screenplays with his sets and personality falls on deaf ears in my house.
6) The same goes for judgements on Michael Lonsdale. His speech on board the space station - "First, there was a dream", etc - is one of the finest examples of megalomaniac ranting in the entire series, and Lonsdale's understated, sinister performance is superb. Saying "Drax appears to be succumbing to a terminal case of narcolepsy" of this scene is actually quite insulting on about four different levels.
7) Though you are probably right about Curt Jurgens.
8) What could have been is always great to hear in the world of Bond, and I like your insights into your characters. For example, your frustration at Trudi Parker becoming Corinne Dufour, because you had written the character as a Californian air head, and wasn't allowed to change the dialogue to reflect the somewhat more sophisticated Ms Clery.
9) Your commentaries on the absurdities of Bond are welcome too. As you point out, Sandor shouting "Pyramids" is a rubbish clue - The pyramids are very big and follow the west bank of the Nile for a distance of 420 miles from Abu Roash just north of Gizah (sic) to Thebes; and Sandor might have been talking about the name of a betting shop or Dolly Parton's breasts, or anything.
10) And it's also great to hear you dismiss lines you didn't write. Your hatred of Corinne's "I never learnt to read" is justified and rational, and I applaud you for distancing yourself from this appaling crime against screenwriting. I also applaud you for acknowledging when Mr R Moore of Switzerland came up with a better line than you, and being gracious enough to admit it. "Keeping the British end up" is notorious for all manner of reasons, but your scripted alternative - "Gentlemen - we have just entered a new era of Anglo-Soviet co-operation." is just not in the same league.
11) Well done for writing the Confessions series of low rent sex comedies; whenever I am in the mood for something that makes Carry on Camping look like Chekhov, I turn to Robin Askwith's arse. However, I'm not so interested in hearing about it in a Bond book. Call me narrow minded, call me sad, call me shallow, but I want to hear about Roger Moore and Barbara Bach, not Rosie Dixon: Night Nurse.
12) Why didn't you work on For Your Eyes Only? Why don't you tell us if you was invited back or not? Why are there no hints as to your emotional state at being dumped around this time?
13) I still think a motorbike chase in Venice would have been great. And it probably wouldn't have involved double taking pigeons, which would be a bonus.
14) Your criticisms of the novels of TSWLM and MR are spot on, apart from your dismissal of Krebs, the best henchman never to make it to the cinema. It's clear to see how your affection for Fleming informed your two tie in novels, which are the best non-Fleming novels around (and yes, I'm including Colonel Sun).
15) A back cover quote from the producer of Starship Troopers isn't fooling anyone.
The world of Bond is such a closed shop, that it's great to hear the view from behind the trenches sometimes - and there are many points in your book when you hit this target. However, there are many times when you go off on a tangent about Robin Askwith's arse, and to be honest that's not what I paid my money to read (I say "my" money; it was actually a present from The Wife; but what's his is mine, and so on). Overall, great effort, but I can't see myself picking it up again, unless I'm going to be quoting the missing script scenes on AJB.
Thanks for your time
JetSetWilly
Comments
@merseytart
I'll probably get it, but wait to see if the price comes down first.
Yes, the book cover is very offputting. Not sure Wood would be happy about jetset revealing stuff from his book; in an interview any question that might have leant to an anecdote had him saying, "You'll have to read the book..."
It's a shame that he couldn't have been held back for a polish of sorts on FYEO; imo the dialogue and wit just wasn't on a par. One theory I have (and it's only a theory) is that Wood's Moonraker treatment is said to be similar in plot to a Bondsploitation picture in the 1960s which also featured a rare poisonous orchid. I think it was brought up on this board once. Of course, had that been true (I'm not sure it is) and pointed out, Wood might have been ostrascised for that but of course really I've no idea why... maybe it was to emphasise a break from the past, and Wood was made scapegoat for MR, if you can be a scapegoat for the most successful Bond movie of that era in terms of box office.
Roger Moore 1927-2017