New Law of Physics: NOTHING WORKS
The Sly Fox
USAPosts: 467MI6 Agent
Murphy's Law wrote:"If anything can go wrong, it will.
I know this is my first post in a while, been busy with University life and all, but I just thought I'd come and give my two cents on the absolute and undeniable truth that is Murphy's Law. Which means that Nothing. Important. Ever. Works... At all. Are you sitting down? Good, old Foxy is here to tell you about the sequence of events that has brought him to reach this conclusion...
First of all, I deal with two banks. They both offered me "credit protection services" for a fee. These services allow you to monitor your credit report and score. I know that your "free annual credit report" that you're entitled to doesn't give you a credit score, so I decided to order it. Easier said than done. As soon as I've registered and created a user id and password, I get:
"Please enter a valid user id..."
I re-enter my user id that I know to be valid.
"Invalid Password."
I put in the password...
"Forgotten your details? Enter your email address."
I obediently entered my email address... No email came. I decided to keep trying with a login that I knew was valid. Finally, the email came after a half-hour of login attempts. The email gave me a link to reset my password. Well, I clicked the link...
"You have made several unsuccessful login attempts. Your account has been disabled. Please call 1-800..."
By this time, I've figured out that the any bank slogan is simply banker language for "useless crap." I decided to go to my other bank's website and use their service. After going through another typical application, I end up with, you guessed it...
"Your account has been disabled. Please call..."
Don't forget that this is with two separate banks, both using logins that were entered exactly as I had registered them... Finally, I decide to call the number they gave me...
"Thank you for calling. Our business hours are 8AM-5PM, EST..."
It was 3:00 in the morning.
And yet, the very same bank has the nerve to send me a telemarketing call to order their credit monitoring services... I politely tell the lady on the phone that I already had this service...
Telemarketing call wrote:"Would you like to try [nonworking garbage], it's a free 30-day trial..."
Mind you, she got me out of bed for this.
"I already have this service, but it's not working. Could you help me with it?"
"Oh, it's only a 30-day trial, you can cancel at anytime..."
"I already have--"
"This service monitors your credit and..."
You could tell she was reading this off a piece of paper. I know because I had a job doing this once. I quit after a couple weeks, so don't worry. Fox will never call you with the latest Magic Mixer...
After two minutes of telemarketing genius:
"I already have this service..."
"Does it monitor your credit?"
"I have YOUR [nonworking garbage]... And it doesn't work!"
"...Oh, that's the same service as what we have... Let me talk to my supervisor...
[hold music]
Sorry to bother you, thank you for using [nonworking garbage], have a nice day..."
[dial tone]
They never did tell me how to fix my broken account, either. To put the icing on the cake, when I go to the bank, they can't even help (or so I'm told), because "It's an affiliate with us, but it's not actually a service with the bank..."
I propose adoption of the new Universal Law of Physics: Everything is useless, and nothing works when you need it. Ever.
Murphy's Law is an undeniable truth. If it can, it will go wrong. With that, old Foxy wishes to politely tell all banks to bloody well fix your useless websites and take the next one-way flight to the Moon... Thank you, and have a good day...
x-( x-( x-( x-( x-(
...Now that old Foxy has told you his tale, I'm sure that everyone wants to buy a one-way ticket into space for somebody, so why don't you tell us all about it here? Tell us about your experiences with useless, nonworking garbage that was never there when you needed it and perhaps we'll gather enough evidence to get my new appended version of Murphy's Law published into the science books...
By the way, would you like to buy a magic mixer?...
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