I agree with Delicious - i always felt that opening should be in the third person.
Also, are we still going to do that thing where we would have a brief bio of each of the contributors? I thought that was a very good idea. . .
If one of you would like to rewrite that bit for me please do -as I do not have the time to do it at the moment -and then pm me the alteration.
As for bio's -again pm me your brief bio's please make them quite short no more than a paragraph or two -and what I will do is instead of using photo's of ourselves I will use our individual avatars beside each bio, and will add them to the end of the manuscript.
The morning mist crawled away, weaving slowly between the trees overlooking the airstrip. James Bond, 007, licensed to kill, sat in the cockpit of the small aircraft watching his hands wander over the instruments and dials, checking and rechecking everything. He knew that all systems were go but there was a comfort in repeating the routine that any military man would have understood. In times of stress, routine was your best friend. It gave a comfortable sense of order amidst the chaos and fear. Bond was extremely fatigued both physically and mentally and much like an aircraft in mid-flight he was running on auto-pilot. And on top of everything else he had a hangover from Hell. There was grit in his veins and broken glass in his brain. But he had to keep it together until he was back on home soil. Tired though he was he had to fly the plane out of there and back to England, preferably in one piece. He vaguely remembered there was a small airstrip near Addlestone just west of London.
There was no such thing as a pleasant job in his line of work but this one had been one of worst he could remember in a long time. In fact it had left a bitter taste in his mouth - which just added to the various other forms of pain that were afflicting his mind and body as he sat there.
His name had been Jonathan Carter and at one time he was someone that Bond had called a friend. But as it turned out his real name was Sergei Romanurov and he was a Russian spy and a traitor. He'd infiltrated MI6 and wormed his way up through the ranks to become Chief of Staff alongside Bond's true friend Bill Tanner. When the service discovered they had been infiltrated M had dispatched 007 to dispatch Carter, but not until Bond had gotten from the traitor the scale of information that he had been passing on and to whom. Bond had tailed him for three weeks until finally cornering him in Urjala south of Tampere in Finland. It had been messy and difficult and afterwards he'd gotten blind drunk. You'll see why.
I agree with Delicious - i always felt that opening should be in the third person.
Also, are we still going to do that thing where we would have a brief bio of each of the contributors? I thought that was a very good idea. . .
At first I liked the idea of using avatars, but then I realized avatars have tendency to change over time. If everyone wants to use them, then I'm fine with it.
If one of you would like to rewrite that bit for me please do -as I do not have the time to do it at the moment -and then pm me the alteration.
As for bio's -again pm me your brief bio's please make them quite short no more than a paragraph or two -and what I will do is instead of using photo's of ourselves I will use our individual avatars beside each bio, and will add them to the end of the manuscript.
Jason.
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
The alternative to avatars is personal photo's -which I don't mind using -however these will have to be emailed to me. If the consensus is to use personal photo's then I will make my email address available to you via pm's as I will not post my email address publicly -and the ajbpublishing email address is now defunct.
I prefer the idea of personal photos, but if we aren't all going to be able to do that then there isn't really much point. It's just that I tend to change my avatar from time to time!
Its absolutely fine -I've incorporated it into the final manuscript - The teaser article will stay as it is.
If personal photos are decided to be used for the bio's then they need to be sent to me along with your info that make up the bio by the 18th of December at the latest. If I haven't received them by that date then it will have to be avatars and bio's or nothing at all -apart from the novel.
Jason.
I would prefer not to use an actual photo of myself here if possible. If everyone else were to use personal photos, could I still use just my avatar? I don't mind that the avatar changes every now and then, since the one in the novel will be a snapshot in time of what someone's avatar was when the novel was written.
Either way, I'll also have my bio PM'd to you by this weekend, SC1.
I sent my photo, but if everyone would rather use avatars, I do not have a problem with that at all. There are advantages to anonymity
I think avatars are a great idea since so many AJBer's associate individuals by their avatars, esp. when they are unique.
my thought about the avatars changing was me merely thinking aloud that avatars might have less impact after time passes. But they're still a great idea.
For bios - how specific do you want them? There's not much to tell in my short 19 years of existence...
(Also "Me" is my least favorite subject, but that's beside the point)
As for avatars, I see why that can be a tricky thing. Sure, for some people like WG, SC1, and HB, you easily associate their avatar to the individual it belongs to. Then there are people like me who periodically change the icon under their name. Me, I know I won't be keeping "Confused Herm" as my icon forever, especially once it becomes an outdated image.
Novel 7 may not be sporting an avatar featuring Herman Edwards...
If you load my photo the site will crash and those who see it will be struck blind. My name is Steven Mason. Im a database/web manager for an NGO ins Sydney, Australia and have been writing seriously for about 5 years. God's Assassin is my ajb007 fan fiction screenplay.
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
If you load my photo the site will crash and those who see it will be struck blind. My name is Steven Mason. Im a database/web manager for an NGO ins Sydney, Australia and have been writing seriously for about 5 years. God's Assassin is my ajb007 fan fiction screenplay.
I just figured out that the avatar is the picture that goes under some members' names. I use an avatar of "Beaker" the muppet at work so you can use that if you want. I will send a pic of Beaker by PM.
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
Ok just an update on the novel's progress -I am going to be emailing the final product to Si on Saturday afternoon -providing everything goes according to plan -then Si will add it to the site as and when he is able. Should his own personal Christmas plans mean he doesn't have time to have it online by Christmas Day -it will be as soon as his plans allow. All being well though it will be during the festive period.
Also the bio's will be accompanied by an avatar or personal photo as each individual has requested - some of you want to remain visibly anonymous and that will be respected. Those of you who have included personal photo's can you pm me one more time just to confirm the use of your photo's just so we are all happy with what will be the final contribution to the manuscript.
Cheers,
Jason.
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
OK OM is now in Si's hands.:D
As far as the bio's are concerned -due to the timescale etc -I have decided not to use the avatars for those who were not that bothered about using them or unable to get back to me in time. Instead I have used either their screen names in bold or their names in bold. For the others I have used the photos kindly sent to me and WG -I have used your familiar Avatar.
So if the bio part isn't how you would like it to be I apologise -but due to festivities etc -my time was short.
Anyway A big thanks to you all for your hard work I personally think this tale is an excellent and imaginative one and look forward to hearing any feedback from it in the coming weeks.
Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year to everyone in the writing team. I had a lot of fun working with you guys on Novel 6 and hope we can do it again some time.
Have a great one guys, I think we have a good novel to give our fellow AJBers for christmas!
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
I think that Obsidian Masquerade has some absolutely brilliant scenes in it -and has a bit of everything in it that we expect from a 007 tale. I'm sure our readers will be happy with it.
Hopefully Si will have time to add it today -if not I'm sure it will be within the next couple of days. I am always really chuffed when I see a new collaborative novel added to the site.
I actually didn't care too much for this one TBH. I think a lot of it stems from the fact that this story started to wander off from what some of us were planning on having this story be. Take what we had (were building) in Finland and compare it to what we had in India.
Am I saying it OM was bad? No. Do I have problems with a story taking on a life of it's own? No, I actually enjoy writing stories in that manner (letting them develop on their own). Maybe my mind changes upon (re?)reading the finished product.
IMO I think we fell into the trap we wanted to avoid of the generic Bond storyline, complete with nuclear missiles and villains with extravagant bases and small armies.
There are some features I would like to see in Novel 7, but that's for another thread...
I actually didn't care too much for this one TBH. I think a lot of it stems from the fact that this story started to wander off from what some of us were planning on having this story be. Take what we had (were building) in Finland and compare it to what we had in India.
Am I saying it OM was bad? No. Do I have problems with a story taking on a life of it's own? No, I actually enjoy writing stories in that manner (letting them develop on their own). Maybe my mind changes upon (re?)reading the finished product.
IMO I think we fell into the trap we wanted to avoid of the generic Bond storyline, complete with nuclear missiles and villains with extravagant bases and small armies.
There are some features I would like to see in Novel 7, but that's for another thread...
I agree DAWUSS. In early discussions we talked about avoiding terrorism and then the story went right into it. I lost my passion for it when Bond was mind-controlled as I think that this contravenes the rules of Bond's character. he is first and foremost a controller and though he may lose control of situations (for a time) he cannot himself be controlled mentally. His most important characteristic is his Will. But I had fun writing my entries in the early stages. Happy New Year.
I found that with an organic, free-flowing writing process such as this, it's best to not enter into it with too many pre-conceived ideas. The fun of the process (for me) was in not knowing what I, or anyone, else was going to be writing next, but simply seeing where the wheel stopped and see where one can go from there. That said, I feel that everyone brought great ideas to the story and put together an intriguing tale.
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
I found that with an organic, free-flowing writing process such as this, it's best to not enter into it with too many pre-conceived ideas. The fun of the process (for me) was in not knowing what I, or anyone, else was going to be writing next, but simply seeing where the wheel stopped and see where one can go from there. That said, I feel that everyone brought great ideas to the story and put together an intriguing tale.
I agree Daren - with collaborative novels written in such a way -the tale rarely ends up being the product that any one individual may envision. People have different ideas of what they want from the tale. OM is quite cinematic in many ways and has a lot of scenes in it that would look good on a big screen. That said there are parts that are indeed well written and sit IMO well within the Bond literary canon. I myself often would rather our fan fiction was less cinematic in approach -but this is difficult when the majority of us are more influenced by the cinematic 007 than the literary one. I think this latest addition to the library (When Si has finally added it.)is a worthy addition that has something in it for both literary and cinematic fans alike. As for the terrorism in the tale - Practically all 007 tales have some sort of terrorism at their core -whether 007 be battling against villains who are out for their own monetary gains or political gains. Granted the use of nuclear warheads may seem a bit hackneyed now -but nonetheless they are still relevant. The only thing I would have like with OM is for identity theft to have been explored a little more -I think maybe we missed some opportunities in this story. However That does not mean to say that this story is not still a very accomplished piece of work.
Well said, Sc1 and darenhat. I enjoyed the writing process and I think we do have an interesting novel now. I agree that we could have explored the identity theft thing a bit more, but I think there are a lot of interesting elements in this tale. I think the characters are interesting and the locations and events are all worthy of inclusion in a Bond tale.
As for the novel being very cinematic, i think that is always going to be inevitable in these collaborations unless a literary bond approach is attempted from the word go. With regards to the earlier comments about the mind control thing, I actually thought this was an interesting bit and i quite liked it. I didn't feel that it felt odd for Bond to be mind controlled, especially since a similar thing happened in Fleming's TMWTGG.
Anyway, I can't wait to see the final product online. Hopefully we don't have to wait much longer!
I think that the quality of the novels produced will improve if the following things are established before the writers start creating the narrative:
1. Create a general theme - eg identity theft - and stick to it. it is more difficult but more rewarding to stick to a theme.
2. Keep Bond and the other major characters (M, Q, Moneypenny etc) consistent. The mind-control thing was very out of character for Bond.
3. Try to create narratives that venture into new areas instead of covering the same ground.
4. When a character has been created by one of thw writing team, respect the personality of that character when you write about them.
5. Keep to the conventions of the genre - the character of Lissa should have died as she was one of the doomed females who get trampled by the narrative like Tilly Masterson in GF, Coreinne de Feur in MR and Paris in TND.
6. There is still plenty of scope for free writing of the narrative but the story neds some structure to avoid becoming formless. There needs to be a blend betwen the freedom of writing and the discipline of pursuing a theme.
I agree Daren - with collaborative novels written in such a way -the tale rarely ends up being the product that any one individual may envision. People have different ideas of what they want from the tale. OM is quite cinematic in many ways and has a lot of scenes in it that would look good on a big screen. That said there are parts that are indeed well written and sit IMO well within the Bond literary canon. I myself often would rather our fan fiction was less cinematic in approach -but this is difficult when the majority of us are more influenced by the cinematic 007 than the literary one. I think this latest addition to the library (When Si has finally added it.)is a worthy addition that has something in it for both literary and cinematic fans alike.
It does have its moments of cinematic action, which (IMO) can make it an easier read as you can visualize it just as if it were indeed a movie, and for someone with a short attention span, there's enough to keep them going. IMO for this novel, I was best at some of the action sequences.
As for the terrorism in the tale - Practically all 007 tales have some sort of terrorism at their core -whether 007 be battling against villains who are out for their own monetary gains or political gains. Granted the use of nuclear warheads may seem a bit hackneyed now -but nonetheless they are still relevant. The only thing I would have like with OM is for identity theft to have been explored a little more -I think maybe we missed some opportunities in this story. However That does not mean to say that this story is not still a very accomplished piece of work.
I think because the identity theft angle wasn't played up as much as it should have, it made things a bit more "standard"/"cliche"/"formulaic" than they probably should have been. While, yes, terrorism is almost always a theme in 007, OM eventually reverted to the "formulaic" version where the villain wants to blow things up and kill by the masses, as opposed to ruining the lives of just a handful of people, and killing just a few. (I think some of us had something of that type in mind when planning out OM, as IIRC we did want to keep our villain rather "small scale" in terms of resources and deadliness.)
Well said, Sc1 and darenhat. I enjoyed the writing process and I think we do have an interesting novel now. I agree that we could have explored the identity theft thing a bit more, but I think there are a lot of interesting elements in this tale. I think the characters are interesting and the locations and events are all worthy of inclusion in a Bond tale.
As for the novel being very cinematic, i think that is always going to be inevitable in these collaborations unless a literary bond approach is attempted from the word go. With regards to the earlier comments about the mind control thing, I actually thought this was an interesting bit and i quite liked it. I didn't feel that it felt odd for Bond to be mind controlled, especially since a similar thing happened in Fleming's TMWTGG.
Anyway, I can't wait to see the final product online. Hopefully we don't have to wait much longer!
Re: Mind control - I didn't really care for it TBH (I think the same result could have been achieved differently).
I do think Novel 6 had a well-done cast of characters, I think some of us were ready to develop Max Obsidian to the point where the reader could just about justify his actions and then feel sorry for him )
There are some things I would like to see in Novel 7, but I'll delve into that in another thread (most likely just a place to stick 'em so I don't forget about 'em when serious preparation begins).
(... and they're not necessarily things that should have been added in Novel 6 )
I think delicious's helpful observations about Obsidian Masquerade's shortcomings are excellent.They're well-reasoned and would make good guidelines in the writing of future novels.However,much as I appreciate these insights, I can't agree on the James Bond character being completely above mind control.Granted,we didn't research that situation well nor were the sequences presenting 007 in that state written particularly well.That element of the story may have been a creative failure perhaps,but at the very least it put 007 in a different predicament than he usually faces in these novels.Maybe one day in the future another group of writers will use a similar idea and they'll be more successful with it.
At any rate, it's interesting to note that there is precedent for 007 to be manipulated by his adversaries via mind control.In Ian Fleming's novel The Man With the Golden Gun,James Bond is captured by Soviet agents and is brainwashed to kill "M".He very nearly succeeds--only a secret armor plate rising out of "M"'s desk saves the spymaster from certain death.
And Fleming also made James Bond vulnerable in other ways.At the beginning of the You Only Live Twice novel,we learn that following Tracy's murder,a guilt-ridden 007 suffered a nervous breakdown.At the close of this book 007 is an amnesiac--and this condition plays an important part in Bond's immediate future.
Like many people I enjoy seeing the generally unflappable (and often nearly invincible) Eon Productions version of 007 triumph on the movie screen.But that said, I also believe that the literary James Bond's ability to rise above his personal circumstances is more heroic,and indeed more admirable than what we usually see him deal with in most of the motion picture stories.Now,I'm not suggesting for one instant that a fanfiction version of James Bond ever be presented as overly fragile--but by the same token, I also think that 007 should not be absolutely impervious from every assault waged against him,including possible psychological ones.
Comments
Also, are we still going to do that thing where we would have a brief bio of each of the contributors? I thought that was a very good idea. . .
If one of you would like to rewrite that bit for me please do -as I do not have the time to do it at the moment -and then pm me the alteration.
As for bio's -again pm me your brief bio's please make them quite short no more than a paragraph or two -and what I will do is instead of using photo's of ourselves I will use our individual avatars beside each bio, and will add them to the end of the manuscript.
Jason.
There was no such thing as a pleasant job in his line of work but this one had been one of worst he could remember in a long time. In fact it had left a bitter taste in his mouth - which just added to the various other forms of pain that were afflicting his mind and body as he sat there.
His name had been Jonathan Carter and at one time he was someone that Bond had called a friend. But as it turned out his real name was Sergei Romanurov and he was a Russian spy and a traitor. He'd infiltrated MI6 and wormed his way up through the ranks to become Chief of Staff alongside Bond's true friend Bill Tanner. When the service discovered they had been infiltrated M had dispatched 007 to dispatch Carter, but not until Bond had gotten from the traitor the scale of information that he had been passing on and to whom. Bond had tailed him for three weeks until finally cornering him in Urjala south of Tampere in Finland. It had been messy and difficult and afterwards he'd gotten blind drunk. You'll see why.
Jason.
Its absolutely fine -I've incorporated it into the final manuscript - The teaser article will stay as it is.
If personal photos are decided to be used for the bio's then they need to be sent to me along with your info that make up the bio by the 18th of December at the latest. If I haven't received them by that date then it will have to be avatars and bio's or nothing at all -apart from the novel.
Jason.
Either way, I'll also have my bio PM'd to you by this weekend, SC1.
I think avatars are a great idea since so many AJBer's associate individuals by their avatars, esp. when they are unique.
my thought about the avatars changing was me merely thinking aloud that avatars might have less impact after time passes. But they're still a great idea.
(Also "Me" is my least favorite subject, but that's beside the point)
As for avatars, I see why that can be a tricky thing. Sure, for some people like WG, SC1, and HB, you easily associate their avatar to the individual it belongs to. Then there are people like me who periodically change the icon under their name. Me, I know I won't be keeping "Confused Herm" as my icon forever, especially once it becomes an outdated image.
Novel 7 may not be sporting an avatar featuring Herman Edwards...
Well how about having an avatar then? ?:)
Also the bio's will be accompanied by an avatar or personal photo as each individual has requested - some of you want to remain visibly anonymous and that will be respected. Those of you who have included personal photo's can you pm me one more time just to confirm the use of your photo's just so we are all happy with what will be the final contribution to the manuscript.
Cheers,
Jason.
As far as the bio's are concerned -due to the timescale etc -I have decided not to use the avatars for those who were not that bothered about using them or unable to get back to me in time. Instead I have used either their screen names in bold or their names in bold. For the others I have used the photos kindly sent to me and WG -I have used your familiar Avatar.
So if the bio part isn't how you would like it to be I apologise -but due to festivities etc -my time was short.
Anyway A big thanks to you all for your hard work I personally think this tale is an excellent and imaginative one and look forward to hearing any feedback from it in the coming weeks.
So for now I will wish you all a Happy Christmas.
Cheers!-{
Jason.
Cheers,
Steven
Have a great one guys, I think we have a good novel to give our fellow AJBers for christmas!
Hopefully Si will have time to add it today -if not I'm sure it will be within the next couple of days. I am always really chuffed when I see a new collaborative novel added to the site.
Am I saying it OM was bad? No. Do I have problems with a story taking on a life of it's own? No, I actually enjoy writing stories in that manner (letting them develop on their own). Maybe my mind changes upon (re?)reading the finished product.
IMO I think we fell into the trap we wanted to avoid of the generic Bond storyline, complete with nuclear missiles and villains with extravagant bases and small armies.
There are some features I would like to see in Novel 7, but that's for another thread...
I agree DAWUSS. In early discussions we talked about avoiding terrorism and then the story went right into it. I lost my passion for it when Bond was mind-controlled as I think that this contravenes the rules of Bond's character. he is first and foremost a controller and though he may lose control of situations (for a time) he cannot himself be controlled mentally. His most important characteristic is his Will. But I had fun writing my entries in the early stages. Happy New Year.
I agree Daren - with collaborative novels written in such a way -the tale rarely ends up being the product that any one individual may envision. People have different ideas of what they want from the tale. OM is quite cinematic in many ways and has a lot of scenes in it that would look good on a big screen. That said there are parts that are indeed well written and sit IMO well within the Bond literary canon. I myself often would rather our fan fiction was less cinematic in approach -but this is difficult when the majority of us are more influenced by the cinematic 007 than the literary one. I think this latest addition to the library (When Si has finally added it.)is a worthy addition that has something in it for both literary and cinematic fans alike. As for the terrorism in the tale - Practically all 007 tales have some sort of terrorism at their core -whether 007 be battling against villains who are out for their own monetary gains or political gains. Granted the use of nuclear warheads may seem a bit hackneyed now -but nonetheless they are still relevant. The only thing I would have like with OM is for identity theft to have been explored a little more -I think maybe we missed some opportunities in this story. However That does not mean to say that this story is not still a very accomplished piece of work.
As for the novel being very cinematic, i think that is always going to be inevitable in these collaborations unless a literary bond approach is attempted from the word go. With regards to the earlier comments about the mind control thing, I actually thought this was an interesting bit and i quite liked it. I didn't feel that it felt odd for Bond to be mind controlled, especially since a similar thing happened in Fleming's TMWTGG.
Anyway, I can't wait to see the final product online. Hopefully we don't have to wait much longer!
1. Create a general theme - eg identity theft - and stick to it. it is more difficult but more rewarding to stick to a theme.
2. Keep Bond and the other major characters (M, Q, Moneypenny etc) consistent. The mind-control thing was very out of character for Bond.
3. Try to create narratives that venture into new areas instead of covering the same ground.
4. When a character has been created by one of thw writing team, respect the personality of that character when you write about them.
5. Keep to the conventions of the genre - the character of Lissa should have died as she was one of the doomed females who get trampled by the narrative like Tilly Masterson in GF, Coreinne de Feur in MR and Paris in TND.
6. There is still plenty of scope for free writing of the narrative but the story neds some structure to avoid becoming formless. There needs to be a blend betwen the freedom of writing and the discipline of pursuing a theme.
It does have its moments of cinematic action, which (IMO) can make it an easier read as you can visualize it just as if it were indeed a movie, and for someone with a short attention span, there's enough to keep them going. IMO for this novel, I was best at some of the action sequences.
I think because the identity theft angle wasn't played up as much as it should have, it made things a bit more "standard"/"cliche"/"formulaic" than they probably should have been. While, yes, terrorism is almost always a theme in 007, OM eventually reverted to the "formulaic" version where the villain wants to blow things up and kill by the masses, as opposed to ruining the lives of just a handful of people, and killing just a few. (I think some of us had something of that type in mind when planning out OM, as IIRC we did want to keep our villain rather "small scale" in terms of resources and deadliness.)
Re: Mind control - I didn't really care for it TBH (I think the same result could have been achieved differently).
I do think Novel 6 had a well-done cast of characters, I think some of us were ready to develop Max Obsidian to the point where the reader could just about justify his actions and then feel sorry for him
There are some things I would like to see in Novel 7, but I'll delve into that in another thread (most likely just a place to stick 'em so I don't forget about 'em when serious preparation begins).
(... and they're not necessarily things that should have been added in Novel 6
At any rate, it's interesting to note that there is precedent for 007 to be manipulated by his adversaries via mind control.In Ian Fleming's novel The Man With the Golden Gun,James Bond is captured by Soviet agents and is brainwashed to kill "M".He very nearly succeeds--only a secret armor plate rising out of "M"'s desk saves the spymaster from certain death.
And Fleming also made James Bond vulnerable in other ways.At the beginning of the You Only Live Twice novel,we learn that following Tracy's murder,a guilt-ridden 007 suffered a nervous breakdown.At the close of this book 007 is an amnesiac--and this condition plays an important part in Bond's immediate future.
Like many people I enjoy seeing the generally unflappable (and often nearly invincible) Eon Productions version of 007 triumph on the movie screen.But that said, I also believe that the literary James Bond's ability to rise above his personal circumstances is more heroic,and indeed more admirable than what we usually see him deal with in most of the motion picture stories.Now,I'm not suggesting for one instant that a fanfiction version of James Bond ever be presented as overly fragile--but by the same token, I also think that 007 should not be absolutely impervious from every assault waged against him,including possible psychological ones.
Just a thought.:)