Each of the Bonds meets Vesper Lynd
actonsteve
Posts: 299MI6 Agent
This was posted on another forum. Each of the Bonds does Casino Royale and gets to the night chase scene.
Connery:
This being the Sixties, car movement photographed from the interior is simulated by back-projection. This means that the driver can take their eyes fully off the road, look through either side-window, turn around and look through the rear windshield or gaze at a radar monitor for a protracted length of time - around 32.8 seconds - without losing control or hitting anything.
Connery floors the accelerator, drives in a cool, calm and unflappable manner, jaw set in grim determination. Checks radar monitor, looks at back-projected view through both side windows, gazes through rear windshield, mixes himself a martini from the glove-compartment mini bar, lights a cigarette, all of which takes 32.9 seconds, thus breaking the 32.8 second barrier. As the Aston hurtles along the darkened road, he realises that he’s left it too late. Nonchalantly he flicks the martini glass and cigarette out of the window and puts both hands back on the wheel. Suddenly, he sees the body of a woman lying in the centre of the road.
"Veshper!"
With consummate driving skill, Connery twitches the wheel and the Aston skids gracefully around Vesper and carries on its way.
Checks over his shoulder and muses:
"I wonder if catsh eyesh leave an imprint in the shkin. I should look her over later."
Crashes straight into a brick wall inconveniently placed in the middle of the road.
Lazenby:
Still the sixties, still with back projection, it’s snowing and Lazenby is wearing expression 2 of 3 - severe sincerity, or is it sincere severity.
"Strewth, the other feller never had all this white stuff to put up with. This never happened to him. I can't see a bloody--"
Car bumps over a shape in the road.
"Oh. sorry. Bloody hell! Another sheila dead!"
Car skids out of control and plunges into a ravine where it’s quickly buried by an avalanche. St Bernard mountain dog comes to the rescue. Raises his leg and urinates a hot spattering stream of **** onto the Aston roof.
Lazenby (muffled): "Strewth, bloody raining now! This never happened to the other feller either!"
Moore:
Seventies update - no back projection. Moore drives through the night with one slightly raised eyebrow. He’s wearing a sleeveless shirt and light blue cotton trousers. Sheriff J.W. Pepper is in the passenger seat wearing a hideous Hawaiian shirt and a fake sheriff’s badge with the legend "Book him, Danno!" stencilled on it.
"Now you're getting it, boy!" says J.W. "Put the pedal to the metal, goddamnit! No bleeding-eyed, inhaler sucking son of a gun is gonna get the better of old J.W. Pepper. No sirree, Bob!"
Moore looks slightly irritated, as indicated by a thespian-like stiffening of the upper lip and further raising of the eyebrow.
Suddenly, Vesper can be seen lying in the road ahead.
Moore slams on the brakes and the Aston stops
"Goddamnit, boy, they're getting away!"
The eyebrow is now at full mast.
J.W. looks at the road, then at Moore, then at the road, then at Moore.
Moore revs the engine
"You're not gonna?"
"Ah shure am, boy!"
The car races forwards, hits a speed bump, launches into the air, clears Vesper, turns a full 180 degrees, and lands on it’s wheels.
"Ooooof!" says Moore.
"Oooooowheee!" says J.W.
Out of control, the Aston veers off the road and onto some grassland, crashes through a fence, across a patio and straight into Scaramanga’s swimming pool.
Moore: "Well, J.W., time we pooled our resources."
J.W. has to be physically restrained by the midget from Fantasy Island (who was hiding in the trunk) from shooting Moore with his Smith and Wesson.
Dalton:
Drives intensely, eyes narrowed and glittering in the lights from the dashboard. His concentration is fully on the job in hand. The Aston powers forward, engine roaring, headlights flashing.
Out of the blue, as if by magic, Vesper is there right in front of him in the middle of the road, alone and terrified.
Dalton spins the steering wheel, wrestles for control, teeth gritted, hands clenched white, expression determined and remorseless. The Aston misses Vesper by a whisker, two wheels leave the road, it looks as if it's going to flip--but doesn't. Instead it stabilises and screeches to a halt.
Dalton gets out and runs to Vespers side.
"Oh, James," she gasps breathlessly. "I thought the car was going to flip over."
Dalton starts to untie her hands. "It wouldn't dare," he growls.
Brosnan:
Brosnan drives the Aston from the back seat with a Nintendo Wii control system whilst sipping a Martini through a straw.
"Backseat driver," he smarms into the camera in a self-satisfied way.
He sees Vesper on the screen of his Wii, tied up and lying in the centre of the road.
"This girl is right up my street," he quips.
The Aston flips over Vesper at the touch of a button, rolling through the air seven times and landing perfectly on its wheels. The car transforms at another touch of a button into a hovercraft/helicopter/satellite/space-shuttle hybrid. A tractor beam extends from the headlights, picks up Vesper, draws her to the car and deposits her into the passenger seat via the sun roof.
Brosnan gurns, smarms and facially tics from the back seat as Vesper turns around to face him.
"This is the sort of car purpose built for picking up girls," he letches.
Vesper vomits her dinner in total revulsion and disbelief.
Connery:
This being the Sixties, car movement photographed from the interior is simulated by back-projection. This means that the driver can take their eyes fully off the road, look through either side-window, turn around and look through the rear windshield or gaze at a radar monitor for a protracted length of time - around 32.8 seconds - without losing control or hitting anything.
Connery floors the accelerator, drives in a cool, calm and unflappable manner, jaw set in grim determination. Checks radar monitor, looks at back-projected view through both side windows, gazes through rear windshield, mixes himself a martini from the glove-compartment mini bar, lights a cigarette, all of which takes 32.9 seconds, thus breaking the 32.8 second barrier. As the Aston hurtles along the darkened road, he realises that he’s left it too late. Nonchalantly he flicks the martini glass and cigarette out of the window and puts both hands back on the wheel. Suddenly, he sees the body of a woman lying in the centre of the road.
"Veshper!"
With consummate driving skill, Connery twitches the wheel and the Aston skids gracefully around Vesper and carries on its way.
Checks over his shoulder and muses:
"I wonder if catsh eyesh leave an imprint in the shkin. I should look her over later."
Crashes straight into a brick wall inconveniently placed in the middle of the road.
Lazenby:
Still the sixties, still with back projection, it’s snowing and Lazenby is wearing expression 2 of 3 - severe sincerity, or is it sincere severity.
"Strewth, the other feller never had all this white stuff to put up with. This never happened to him. I can't see a bloody--"
Car bumps over a shape in the road.
"Oh. sorry. Bloody hell! Another sheila dead!"
Car skids out of control and plunges into a ravine where it’s quickly buried by an avalanche. St Bernard mountain dog comes to the rescue. Raises his leg and urinates a hot spattering stream of **** onto the Aston roof.
Lazenby (muffled): "Strewth, bloody raining now! This never happened to the other feller either!"
Moore:
Seventies update - no back projection. Moore drives through the night with one slightly raised eyebrow. He’s wearing a sleeveless shirt and light blue cotton trousers. Sheriff J.W. Pepper is in the passenger seat wearing a hideous Hawaiian shirt and a fake sheriff’s badge with the legend "Book him, Danno!" stencilled on it.
"Now you're getting it, boy!" says J.W. "Put the pedal to the metal, goddamnit! No bleeding-eyed, inhaler sucking son of a gun is gonna get the better of old J.W. Pepper. No sirree, Bob!"
Moore looks slightly irritated, as indicated by a thespian-like stiffening of the upper lip and further raising of the eyebrow.
Suddenly, Vesper can be seen lying in the road ahead.
Moore slams on the brakes and the Aston stops
"Goddamnit, boy, they're getting away!"
The eyebrow is now at full mast.
J.W. looks at the road, then at Moore, then at the road, then at Moore.
Moore revs the engine
"You're not gonna?"
"Ah shure am, boy!"
The car races forwards, hits a speed bump, launches into the air, clears Vesper, turns a full 180 degrees, and lands on it’s wheels.
"Ooooof!" says Moore.
"Oooooowheee!" says J.W.
Out of control, the Aston veers off the road and onto some grassland, crashes through a fence, across a patio and straight into Scaramanga’s swimming pool.
Moore: "Well, J.W., time we pooled our resources."
J.W. has to be physically restrained by the midget from Fantasy Island (who was hiding in the trunk) from shooting Moore with his Smith and Wesson.
Dalton:
Drives intensely, eyes narrowed and glittering in the lights from the dashboard. His concentration is fully on the job in hand. The Aston powers forward, engine roaring, headlights flashing.
Out of the blue, as if by magic, Vesper is there right in front of him in the middle of the road, alone and terrified.
Dalton spins the steering wheel, wrestles for control, teeth gritted, hands clenched white, expression determined and remorseless. The Aston misses Vesper by a whisker, two wheels leave the road, it looks as if it's going to flip--but doesn't. Instead it stabilises and screeches to a halt.
Dalton gets out and runs to Vespers side.
"Oh, James," she gasps breathlessly. "I thought the car was going to flip over."
Dalton starts to untie her hands. "It wouldn't dare," he growls.
Brosnan:
Brosnan drives the Aston from the back seat with a Nintendo Wii control system whilst sipping a Martini through a straw.
"Backseat driver," he smarms into the camera in a self-satisfied way.
He sees Vesper on the screen of his Wii, tied up and lying in the centre of the road.
"This girl is right up my street," he quips.
The Aston flips over Vesper at the touch of a button, rolling through the air seven times and landing perfectly on its wheels. The car transforms at another touch of a button into a hovercraft/helicopter/satellite/space-shuttle hybrid. A tractor beam extends from the headlights, picks up Vesper, draws her to the car and deposits her into the passenger seat via the sun roof.
Brosnan gurns, smarms and facially tics from the back seat as Vesper turns around to face him.
"This is the sort of car purpose built for picking up girls," he letches.
Vesper vomits her dinner in total revulsion and disbelief.
Comments
~Pen -{
mountainburdphotography.wordpress.com
Hmm, Dalton fan are we, actionsteve?
Roger Moore 1927-2017
To quote Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart about each of the Doctors...
"Splendid Chaps! All of them!"
Amazing!
"I am not an entrant in the Shakespeare Stakes." - Ian Fleming
"Screw 'em." - Daniel Craig, The Best James Bond EverTM
"Veshpeeeeeeeer!!!!!"