All Gone Wrong Again

scottmu65 · January 2008

Well my girlfriend has left me, fooling around with some other bloke behind my back, and then she decides to stick the knife in even further by getting some bloke she was screwing to ring me up off her phone, "Sorry Scott mate, Jo can't talk at the moment she's putting her clothes back on..." Thenn she goes and lies about it.

As If leaving me and screwing some other guy behing my back wasn't enough.

As If I need any of this right now, I'm already under massive stress from work and mountains of coursework to do for college.

Any advice on dealing with all this?

Thanks
Scott

RogueAgent · January 2008

Well at least in this post you sound a little more rational this time around, Scott...

Not to sound harsh to you but it might be time to let bygones be bygones. Let her go and move on with your life. Either quit her cold turkey or if that's a bit too strong for you, ween yourself off of her little by little.

I think that you've answered your own question really...

Actually your girlfriend(?) is doing you a favor by showing you in one of the worst ways that you two aren't meant for each other. Take the hint and find a woman more worthy for you...

Can you honestly tell me that you can take her back and love her the same knowing full well now she was laying up with another guy?

Do not let it come to fighting over her with this guy either because someone always gets hurt and the way your luck is going, she will more than likely side with him regardless of the outcome, my friend. It's just not worth it.

Tee Hee · January 2008

hey Scott, glad you're thinking a lot clearer now.

This Jo sounds like a real piece of garbage. You don't deserve to be treated like this. I think it's time to move on. There are plenty of other (and better) fish in the sea. Find someone actually worthy of such a stand up guy like yourself. In the end the joke will be on Jo. Sooner or later she'll realize that she has made a terrible mistake, passing on a guy who would have treated her like a princess for a guy who's probably only with her because she'll put out.

My advice would be to block her out completely. Don't call her and don't answer her calls. Block her if you use an instant messaging service.

The best way that you can beat her is to persevere. She seems to find a sick pleasure in causing you pain. Show her that it doesn't phase you in the least bit.

It's not going to be easy Scott (these things seldom are), but in the end I think you'll realize that her breaking up with you was one of the best things that ever happened to you.

Stay strong Scott. I wish you all the best.

Napoleon Plural · January 2008

Hmm, well if she's left you Scott, she's not technically fooling around behind your back, unless there was an overlap. And messy though it is, there usually is an overlap in these cases, in the same way some people line up a new job before handing in their notice.

Sounds like you're outside the loop in this one, so I'd call it a day. You've got to compartmentalise the a) loss and b) realisation she may not be a nice person and would like to get revenge, because the two together can combine to eke things out for a while in your pysche.

What do you mean All Gone Wrong Again? Did you get back together at some point then?

scottmu65 · January 2008

We split up for a breif period in november, thats ho it's all gone wrong again, and I should of made it clearer that she was fooling around with ths Jonny bloke before she finished me.

Sir Hillary Bray · January 2008

Scott,

To paraphrase 007 in FYEO, forget revenge because of the two graves thing. I know this is probably difficult, but forget Jo -- she's clearly not worthy of a guy like you. Forget her current boyfriend as well -- it won't be long before she does the same thing to him, so he'll get his on his own.

Treat yourself to something you enjoy. Doesn't need to be lavish or expensive -- could be a favorite movie, could be eating a food you like, could be going to a favorite spot, could be talking to someone who means a lot to you...could be anything. Whatever it is, make sure you do it.

All the best.

Loeffelholz · January 2008

I would also add that you should probably begin to cast your gaze on new, fresh members of the fair sex---not from an 'on the rebound' standpoint, but just as a means of distracting yourself. Find some new places to go, places you don't share with Jo, and press on with your own affairs.

I have another friend from work, whose former girlfriend dumped him 18 months ago, and for weeks he would tell me about how she was taunting him on her MySpace page...how he was retaliating on his own MySpace page, etc...I finally sat him down and told him to disregard her. Period. He finally did, and is now in a healthy, mutually affectionate relationship.

You have to break the cycle, and take charge.

I wish you all the best. Now you must don your flak helmet and disregard the noise from your past.

i expect u2 die · January 2008

I'm guessing we're of a pretty similar age (judging by the college comment), and I feel quite safe to say that self-confidence is the key to getting through something like this. Believe in yourself, and believe that you are above this 'Jo' and her Jonnyboy.

Another thing to remember is that you can by no means whatsoever predict the future. The chances of you meeting somebody new are insanely high, and I'd bet money that you'll enjoy (and suffer from) a healthy number of relationships. How many people are still cut up over their young experiences? Lets just say that any scars you carry from this will soon transform into life experience, and you'll enter the next phase of your life with your "armor back on".

All Gone Wrong Again

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