HUMOR: Other "Favorites" Lists
Mister Biswas
TokyoPosts: 78MI6 Agent
Hello.
Upon joining this group, I have come across a lot of Rank your Favorite/Best of lists, i.e., Best Bong Songs, Best Bond Actors, Best Bond Villains, Top Fights, etc.
Here, I wanted to see if there were other ideas for such "favorites" lists. For example,
Best Inanimate Objects Crushed By a Character’s Bare Hands in a Bond Film
(1) Octopussy: Gobinda crushes the loaded dice.
(2) TLD: Bond crushes the balloon that has written on it “Smert Spionem”
(3) Goldfinger: Oddjob crushes the golf ball.
Best Use of Non-Convincing Back Projection in a Bond Film
(1) YOLT: Helga Brandt parachutes, watching Bond's plane descend
(2) FYEO: Roger Moore says hi to the bobsled team
(3) TSWLM: Roger Moore skis
Best Use of Shane Rimmer in a Bond Film
(1) TSWLM
(2) YOLT
(3) DAF
Best Elephants in a Bond Film
(1) TMWTGG
(2) Octopussy
(3) DAF
Best Unexpected Ways that Champagne Appears in a Bond Film:
(1) TSWLM: Bond finds champagne in Stromberg's Escape Pod
(2) Goldeneye: Bond reveals the champagne hidden in the Aston Martin just before doing the boogiewoogie with M's agent.
(3) Moonraker: Jaws finds champagne among the wreckage of the space station and decides to drink with Pollyanna rather than think of a way to escape.
Best WTF?! Ways That Villains, Other than Jaws and Wint and Kidd, Confuse The Audience In Their Attempts At Killing Bond
(1) AVTAK: Dr. Mortner uses DYNAMITE to try to kill Bond on top of the Golden Gate Bridge. WTF!!
(2) FYEO: After Locque's men, we assume, kill Ferrara by garrotting him (very straightforward and non-WTF), they try to kill Bond by, WTF, ice hockey-playing him to death. WTF!!!!!
(3) Moonraker: Chang's idea of stealthly attempting to assassinate Bond is to, WTF!, wear full KENDO gear in the middle of the night in Venice and scream and break Venitian glass. W. T. F.!!!!
Upon joining this group, I have come across a lot of Rank your Favorite/Best of lists, i.e., Best Bong Songs, Best Bond Actors, Best Bond Villains, Top Fights, etc.
Here, I wanted to see if there were other ideas for such "favorites" lists. For example,
Best Inanimate Objects Crushed By a Character’s Bare Hands in a Bond Film
(1) Octopussy: Gobinda crushes the loaded dice.
(2) TLD: Bond crushes the balloon that has written on it “Smert Spionem”
(3) Goldfinger: Oddjob crushes the golf ball.
Best Use of Non-Convincing Back Projection in a Bond Film
(1) YOLT: Helga Brandt parachutes, watching Bond's plane descend
(2) FYEO: Roger Moore says hi to the bobsled team
(3) TSWLM: Roger Moore skis
Best Use of Shane Rimmer in a Bond Film
(1) TSWLM
(2) YOLT
(3) DAF
Best Elephants in a Bond Film
(1) TMWTGG
(2) Octopussy
(3) DAF
Best Unexpected Ways that Champagne Appears in a Bond Film:
(1) TSWLM: Bond finds champagne in Stromberg's Escape Pod
(2) Goldeneye: Bond reveals the champagne hidden in the Aston Martin just before doing the boogiewoogie with M's agent.
(3) Moonraker: Jaws finds champagne among the wreckage of the space station and decides to drink with Pollyanna rather than think of a way to escape.
Best WTF?! Ways That Villains, Other than Jaws and Wint and Kidd, Confuse The Audience In Their Attempts At Killing Bond
(1) AVTAK: Dr. Mortner uses DYNAMITE to try to kill Bond on top of the Golden Gate Bridge. WTF!!
(2) FYEO: After Locque's men, we assume, kill Ferrara by garrotting him (very straightforward and non-WTF), they try to kill Bond by, WTF, ice hockey-playing him to death. WTF!!!!!
(3) Moonraker: Chang's idea of stealthly attempting to assassinate Bond is to, WTF!, wear full KENDO gear in the middle of the night in Venice and scream and break Venitian glass. W. T. F.!!!!
Comments
Nominees 1) and 2) come from AVTAK:
1) First, the business man dropped out of the blimp just before Zorin asks "Does anyone else want to drop out?" The dummy's pathetic legs move in ways that legs are not designed to move as the dummy falls to its obvious dummy death.
2) Zorin himself, as he does his classic laugh, slips off the broad cable, and...is replaced by yet another obvious dummy with no control over the randomly unjointed movement of his dummy legs...and then he strikes San Francisco Bay.
Obvious Dummy Nominee 3) comes from GE...during the tank chase through St. Petersburg. As a pursuing Russian police car is turned on its side by the imact, we're treated to a tiny unnatural movment of the head and the rolled policie vehicle causes his head to loll in a cruelly (laughably mannequin-like) way...
"I am not an entrant in the Shakespeare Stakes." - Ian Fleming
"Screw 'em." - Daniel Craig, The Best James Bond EverTM
And the nominees are...
- TMWTGG: Mary Goodnight unwittingly uses her bottom to activate the laser
- DAF: The tape is discovered to be hidden in Tiffany Case's bikini
- Goldeneye: While I suppose technically it is Onatopp's killer thighs, her bottom muscles undoubtedly contribute to her skills.
Best Enunciation of a Word or Name by a Character in a Bond Film
and the nominees are...
- NSNA: Largo "domination"
- CR: Vesper "arse"
- Octopussy: Khan "Octopussy"
- Moonraker: Drax "desolated"
- Moonraker: Chang "telephone"
- LALD: Baron Samedi "beautiful"
- TMWTGG: Nick Nack "Scaramanga"
All good choices, but I'd vote for:
- GF: Bond: "Pussy"
I definitely enjoyed the 'WTF' ways of killing Bond especially the FYEO hockey rink scene. THis makes me think of Austin Powers being put in a room with sharks that have lasers attached to their heads by Dr. Evil...hahahaha.
"I am not an entrant in the Shakespeare Stakes." - Ian Fleming
"Screw 'em." - Daniel Craig, The Best James Bond EverTM
Best Blood-Curdling Scream By A Person Falling From Great Height
T1) The guy whose parachute Bond steals in the MR PTS
T1) The guy Zorin dumps out of the blimp
T1) Gobinda falling off the plane
T1) Necros getting the boot
Cheers, Sir Hillary {[]
I was about to post something similar! I don't know the name of the scream (not to be confused with the Wilhelm). But, yes, THAT BLOOD=CURDLING SCREAM which every villain that falls from a great height seems to possess.
I think for me the winner of that category has to be the "Half Our Net Income??!!" Guy that Mayday drops into the bay. ("Waaaoooohhh... Aaarhhhh") Well done Sir Hillary.
That one actually looks pretty realistic (to me) by comparison. Nominee 6! {[]
"I am not an entrant in the Shakespeare Stakes." - Ian Fleming
"Screw 'em." - Daniel Craig, The Best James Bond EverTM
Best "Disco jammies" - R. Moore
Best use of Q's toys for sexual innuendo - R. Moore
- AVTAK. Zorin Industries Jacket. I always wanted one as a kid for some reason.
- FYEO. That Blue Puffy Ski Jacket
- Moonraker. The Orange (?) Drax Spacestation Suit.
Best Thread Title on AJB007 Having To Do With Stacey Sutton:
- Stacey Sutton Is Not That Bad!!
- Stacey Sutton Is Stupid
- Carrie Fisher As Stacey Sutton??
Best "I Have You At Gunpoint, Mr. Bond, and I Will Shoot You. But first, I Will Talk In Such A Manner So As To Give You A Chance To Escape" Moments
- FRWL: Red Grant Has Bond At Gunpoint, and he is about to go all BADA$# by making Bond KISS HIS FOOT!!!!! But, then, he gets all greedy for gold sovereigns, and then, what we are left with is a totally IN YOUR FACE, GREAT! GREAT!!!!!! fight scene.
- YOLT: As Blofeld is about to shoot Bond, he instead turns and shoots Osato dead. WTF.
- Moonraker: "Desolated Mr. Bond."
- Goldeneye: You know, Alec could have just as easily have shot Bond, and THEN as Bond lay dying have told him "You know, James, I was always better". Instead, Alec, who HATES Bond, has him at gunpoint, only to allow Bond enough time to escape via the ladder shute. Oh well, at least we learned that if the fall won't kill you, then a GIANT EXPLODING GOLDENEYE SPIKE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR MOUTH will. Poor Alec.
I'd like to add a category:
Ridiculously placement of screeching tires:
I have only one movie so far.
1. OHMSS PTS: Aston Martin and Cougar driving in the sand
2. OHMSS Ice rink race
Any others?
Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
Thank you for your comment and your contribution Bondtoys {[]
Though I must admit this one is difficult for me. I never noticed the screeching tire noises of OHMSS until you pointed them out! Are there screeching tire noises in Octopussy, during the golf cart chase?
Worst nudity where you did see something - The Spy Who Loved Me
Best "I think I see something, but I'm not really sure." nudity - tie between Chew Mee in Man with the Golden Gun and Domino in Thunderball
1) Timothy Dalton investigating the contents of the cello case in TLD.
2) Pierce Brosnan making his debut as Bond upside down in a Russian stall in GE
3) Sean Connery dropping onto Willard Whyte's plush toilet, complete with arm rests and swivel action, in DAF
4) Daniel Craig working for his 00 status by dunking a baddy's head in the john.
"I am not an entrant in the Shakespeare Stakes." - Ian Fleming
"Screw 'em." - Daniel Craig, The Best James Bond EverTM
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. Then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Rottweiler: Make me!
Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls.
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Mastiff: Screw it yourself! I'm not afraid of the dark...
Doberman: While it's out, I'll just take a nap on the couch.
Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs -- people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is,
how long before I can expect my light again?
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will
be dry.
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside
worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?
BTW has Putin turned the gas back on yet?
Roger Moore 1927-2017
It's cooooold over here
Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
The global financial crunch could have a more significant impact on Russia’s gas industry than the oil sector, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin said at the Gas Exporting Countries Forum meeting in Moscow today.
“Given the inertness (of the gas market), we can expect the crisis to have a significant impact on this industry, perhaps hitting it stronger than the oil sector,” Putin stressed, also pointing out that it may take longer to restore the gas industry after the crisis subsides.
The instability of the legislative framework for energy supplies has become a serious problem, Putin explained, pledging “new rules of the game” to be introduced soon. He stressed the importance of long-term and transparent relations in the energy industry, particularly in the natural gas sector. Only such relations will enable gas suppliers and consumers to make long-term investment plans, Putin said. “Egoism in the energy sector is unacceptable; responsibility must be mutual," he emphasized.
The Gas Exporting Countries Forum should play the key role in coordinating relations between gas suppliers, Putin is convinced. He stressed the fact that the Forum was operating within international norms. “It must turn into a permanent organization, complete with its own charter and headquarters,” he said, inviting gas exporters to establish their headquarters in St. Petersburg.
The prime minister said Russia would even be prepared to give the organization a diplomatic status, also covering all costs connected with the establishment and maintenance of the headquarters. At the same time, Putin pointed out that Russia would accept any decision by the Forum regarding the location of its headquarters. “We will be very flexible, joining the majority, but if you consider this possible, we would be happy to welcome this organization in Russia,” he stated.
As you obviously don't understand humor Elianna:
WFT has this to do with James Bond, General James Bond chat and HUMOR: Other Favourites lists??????????
Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
She's obviously been looking over your old posts and decided that it's OK to post pointless drivel
hers is only..... well drivel
Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
"Boys with toys!"
(Who else thinks Bond should have dropped dreary Natalya from a great height and gone out for a bevy with Sean Bean?
Roger Moore 1927-2017
1. Double Taking Pigeon - Moonraker
2. Dropping fish out of car - TSWLM
3. 'SIT!' - Octopussy
4. Hiss off! - Octopussy
There are probably Moore (see what I did there..!)
Roger Moore 1927-2017
Hello! {[]
I've been a bit busy but I thought I'd drop in to see what's going on!