How would YOU fair as a Double O?

chrisisall · July 2012

Personally, I've been a trained martial artist since 1974 in varied disciplines, so in the fighting arena, I can more than handle myself.
In the deception department, I find it incredibly difficult to lie to those I like or respect.
My devotion to authority is admittedly nill.
Women have had few complaints concerning my sexual abilities.
I was a professional driver in Manhattan for five years- and did driving (and fight) stunts in a real movie, so don't try to outdrive me (just don't ask me to drive on two wheels).
Never killed anyone, never ever want to.
I have a family.

Basically, as a secret agent, I guess I'd rate myself as a medium-to-lower-level FAIL. -{ 8-)

How would YOU rate?

Thunderpussy · July 2012

Did martial arts for years ( wado ryu karate ) although I'm NO Jason Borune.

)
was a driver for a small luxuy Boat company ferrying Investors etc around.
Lies are part of my Job, comes naturally to me. ( I'm not even a Bond fan, nobody has noticed yet )

)
Women often complain about me, But I regard restraining orders as a challenge

Never killed anyone, but have had to Persuade several People to Leave various offices and Pubs etc.
A secret agent has to blend into the background, sadly with my Fantastic Body and stunning goodlooks
I could never Be an agent. :007)
International male underwear model, Yes but not a spy.

zaphod · July 2012

Interesting...a number of us who how shall I say seem to be of 'a certain age' share a strong martial arts background, which unsurprisingly seems to coincide with the Kung Fu craze from about 72-78. For me, and I suspect for others it was Bond that fuelled the interest in unarmed combat and Martial Arts. I saw Goldfinger on a re-run with my Dad aged about 8 and was hooked immediately. Since then it has influenced my taste in Cars, clothes, Luggage...and the attempt to make my house as much like a Ken Adams set as I possibly can within the confines of budget and sense. I have never run to an Aston but have had several (surprisingly affordable British classics)

The most worrying tendency has been the recent pull of the Cravat ala Georgie Boy.

Quick Nurse the Screens ! Or send professional help!

Hardyboy · July 2012

I'd be dead so quick they should put a red Starfleet jersey on me instead of the standard-issue tuxedo.

Moore Than · July 2012

Fast cars and women I could handle. I could blend into the background as I am rather quiet in general and have no distinguishing features that would make me stand out from the crowd. Other than that.....Epic FAIL!

Mr Martini · July 2012

I'd last about 1/10 of a second. Never fired a gun, never trained in hand to hand combat. I'm slow witted and scare women away. I do like fast cars but can't afford them. I guess I'm the opposite of James Bond, more of Joe Bland.

Number24 · July 2012

I have some of the skills, but at a low or average level. I can shoot, use explosives, drive, ski etc. but not very well. I know english, german and french, but other than english my fluency is bad. I have no martial art traning. I have known some very beautiful women. I can behave well with them and make them laugh, but not seduce them.
I would be a really bad spy.

chrisisall · July 2012

Number24 wrote:

I have known some very beautiful women. I can behave well with them and make them laugh

Make them laugh?
I can't do that.
I guess that makes you & I equally under skilled agents. 8-)

thesecretagent · July 2012

Army for almost fifteen years. Unarmed combat, battle and CQB instructor for two years. Driver for two years. Paramedic trained. Armourer. During this time I served in Northern Ireland, Bosnia, Desert Storm, Afghanistan (OEF). Black belt in karate. Practised for twenty years or so. Worked as a bodyguard in the US, Indonesia and Europe, and then some security work in Iraq, Chechnya, Angola and some other nasty places. Hobbies - scuba diving, horse riding, driving and running fast cars, shooting (clay, rough, rifle, and practical), swimming, archery, knife throwing (seriously), food and drink, copious amount of sex.

Seriously, I don't know how reading and watching James Bond at an early age affected my life.

)

Now I've stated my resume, anybody going to offer me a job?

thesecretagent · July 2012

Number24 wrote:

I have some of the skills, but at a low or average level. I can shoot, use explosives, drive, ski etc. but not very well. I know english, german and french, but other than english my fluency is bad. I have no martial art traning. I have known some very beautiful women. I can behave well with them and make them laugh, but not seduce them.
I would be a really bad spy.

Explosives should never be on a list of things you don't do very well.

)

thesecretagent · July 2012

Whats really funny about this thread is that everybody would be good at certain elements of being Bond, but nobody is ever going to wrap it all up. Personally (apart from now being epically unfit) I couldn't prize my way out of Solange's embrace to go chase the bad guy, don't understand any card game except blackjack, hate late nights that turn into early mornings and would have told Le Chiffre everything before he even swung his bit of rope!

)

Strangeways · July 2012

Well sorry to disappoint, but I wold be a fab 007!
I could do it all...combat, firearms, deception, cars etc etc.

All except the women part

)

Number24 · July 2012

thesecretagent wrote:

Number24 wrote:

I have some of the skills, but at a low or average level. I can shoot, use explosives, drive, ski etc. but not very well. I know english, german and french, but other than english my fluency is bad. I have no martial art traning. I have known some very beautiful women. I can behave well with them and make them laugh, but not seduce them.
I would be a really bad spy.

Explosives should never be on a list of things you don't do very well. )

True. The reason I rate myself as bad at demolitions is the fact I haven`t done it sinse my miitary service. I was a combat engineer and pretty good at making things go boom, but that was twenty years ago.

zaphod · July 2012

thesecretagent wrote:

Army for almost fifteen years. Unarmed combat, battle and CQB instructor for two years. Driver for two years. Paramedic trained. Armourer. During this time I served in Northern Ireland, Bosnia, Desert Storm, Afghanistan (OEF). Black belt in karate. Practised for twenty years or so. Worked as a bodyguard in the US, Indonesia and Europe, and then some security work in Iraq, Chechnya, Angola and some other nasty places. Hobbies - scuba diving, horse riding, driving and running fast cars, shooting (clay, rough, rifle, and practical), swimming, archery, knife throwing (seriously), food and drink, copious amount of sex.

Seriously, I don't know how reading and watching James Bond at an early age affected my life. )

Now I've stated my resume, anybody going to offer me a job?

If I ever get seriously rich and need a bodyguard expect a call

thesecretagent · July 2012

Cheers!

Number24 · July 2012

chrisisall wrote:

Number24 wrote:

I have known some very beautiful women. I can behave well with them and make them laugh

Make them laugh?
I can't do that.
I guess that makes you & I equally under skilled agents. 8-)

Yes, I can do that on occation. Sometimes they even laugh because I wanted them to laugh

)

I forgot somthing that REALLY would exclude me as a 00-agent: I don't drink. Never have - never will.

ZorinIndustries · July 2012

I'd last a day. From there on out, I'd need God's help to carry me through. Although, I could get used to the women

)

Thunderpussy · July 2012

But don't we have a "Fair" haired "OO" at the moment in DC. :v

Blackleiter · July 2012

I'd do quite well at everything except fighting, marksmanship, espionage, driving, piloting, skiing, scuba-diving, drinking, gambling, ordering gourmet food and making love to women I just met. In other words, I would fair quite well as a Double O, don't you agree?

Thunderpussy · July 2012

So long as they get a Stuntman for the fight scenes, a Driver for the car chases
and a porn Stud for the love scenes, I'd be brilliant. As long as I get the credit for it

DEFIANT 74205 · July 2012

I would be absolutely useless.

I can drive well enough, I can fly a plane (sort of), I know how to clean and shoot a rifle (have done before in the Air Force Cadets), but I have had no martial arts training, so if I were to go into combat, I'd only be on adrenalin ... and rage. I'm also kind of useless at intelligence gathering.

If I survive my first mission I should probably quit while I'm ahead.

chrisisall · July 2012

It seems like if everyone here were to combine their talents, we could, as a group, equal Bond's abilities! -{

thesecretagent · July 2012

We should start putting he world to rights...

Thunderpussy · July 2012

We just need some snazzy Costumes. I beggsy the Batman one.

)

0073 · July 2012

Martial Arts since '85
Served in the army got out as a lieutenant.
Been working in a bank for a looong time so deception is second nature.
Smoke and drink heavily and find (young) married women a turn on

)

minigeff · July 2012

Me, a spy?

That guy in the phone booth being wheeled off in the background in goldeneye?

That's me right there.

SpectreBlofeld · July 2012

There's one way in which I strongly resemble the literary Bond:

I drink and smoke too much. -{

Le Samourai · July 2012

On the pro-side:
• Instructor in JKD/MMA for Street Self Defense and the Filipino art of Kali. (Both of these make me more Bourne than Bond, as Bourne is a Kali guy.)
• Pretty fit, and am a certified trainer.
• Worked as an investigator for the federal government, and have been a journalist for over 10 years, so am skilled at research, investigations, and interacting with a wide range of people.
• Was raised to be a Southern gentleman; very knowledgeable about etiquette, proper behavior, dressing, etc. Makes it easy to function in all sorts of social environments.
• Knowledgeable and reasonably skilled with handguns. Long guns… not so much.
• Some French and Italian language skills.
• Good grasp of history and current international events.
• People tend to be very open with me (even when I don't want them to be), making it easy to gather intelligence.
• Innately paranoid and security conscious.
• Awesome Martini maker.

On the negative side:
• Something of a home body who's idea of a perfect evening involves being at home with wife and cats.
• Disrespectful of authority and hierarchies. No desire to give or receive orders.
• Not a super-patriot.
• Personal sense of morality would interfere with 00 duties.

BIG TAM · July 2012

I'd be rubbish. Low boredom threshold so wouldn't be able to finish off a mission & even if I did I'd feel a tremendous sense of ennui at the thought of all that paper work when I got back to the office.

don p · July 2012

hi all, i think ide fair well,

former british prison officer, trained in Control and Restraint, (inc riots). riot qualified patrol dog handler,

currently counter IED in Afghanistan (me and my lill springer spaniel) we go bomb hunting, , and out into the city of KABUL on Patrol with troops, .. route clearance ,, open area searching, vehicles, aircraft, what ever is needed,

me and my lill doogie,, save lives,,

chrisisall · July 2012

Wow Don! Be safe out there! You have the respect of this Yank!!

How would YOU fair as a Double O?

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