Dialogue That Always Makes Me Smile
BIG TAM
Wrexham, North Wales, UK.Posts: 773MI6 Agent
Some snippets of Bond dialogue that always makes me grin, be they witty or groaners. I'll see how far I get before I have to go off for a walk in the sun. Apologies if there are any misquotes. I'm sure I'll be enlightened otherwise. 
DR. NO
"That's a Dom Perignon '55, it would be a pity to break it."
FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
"... The girl left in hysterics."
"Found your technique too violent?"
GOLDFINGER
"Who are you?"
"My name is Pussy Galore."
"I must be dreaming."
THUNDERBALL
"That gun, it looks more fitting for a woman."
"Do you know much about guns, Mr. Bond?"
"No, but I know a little about women."
YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE
"The things I do for England."
ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE
"She likes you, I can tell."
"You must give me the name of your oculist."
DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER
"Moving."
"Heart-warming, Mr. Wint."
"A Glowing tribute, Mr. Kidd."
"Hi, I'm Plenty."
"But of course you are."
"Plenty O'Toole."
"Named after your father, perhaps."
"I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up."
"Right idea, Mr. Bond."
"But wrong pussy."
"Saxby."
"Burt Saxby?... Tell him he's fired!"
LIVE & LET DIE:
"Is there time before we leave, for lesson number three?"
"Absolutely. There's no sense in getting off half-cocked."
THE SPY WHO LOVED ME
"Oh James, I cannot find the words."
"Well let me try & enlarge your vocabulary."
MOONRAKER
"Frederick Gray. And in distinguished company all wearing gas masks. Forgive me gentlemen, but not being English I sometimes find your sense of humour difficult to understand."
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
"A nose Q, not a banana!"
OCTOPUSSY
"The egg for your life."
"I'd heard the price of eggs was going up but isn't that a little high?"
THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS
"Why didn't you learn to play the violin?"
GOLDENEYE
"For an ex-KGB agent you surprise me, Valentin. Surely someone of your stature must have realised the skill was not to hit your knee, but to miss the rest of you."
THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
"Bond, James Bond!... Why am I suddenly worried that I'm not carrying enough life insurance?"
"Could you put that in English for people who don't speak spy?"
DR. NO
"That's a Dom Perignon '55, it would be a pity to break it."
FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
"... The girl left in hysterics."
"Found your technique too violent?"
GOLDFINGER
"Who are you?"
"My name is Pussy Galore."
"I must be dreaming."
THUNDERBALL
"That gun, it looks more fitting for a woman."
"Do you know much about guns, Mr. Bond?"
"No, but I know a little about women."
YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE
"The things I do for England."
ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE
"She likes you, I can tell."
"You must give me the name of your oculist."
DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER
"Moving."
"Heart-warming, Mr. Wint."
"A Glowing tribute, Mr. Kidd."
"Hi, I'm Plenty."
"But of course you are."
"Plenty O'Toole."
"Named after your father, perhaps."
"I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up."
"Right idea, Mr. Bond."
"But wrong pussy."
"Saxby."
"Burt Saxby?... Tell him he's fired!"
LIVE & LET DIE:
"Is there time before we leave, for lesson number three?"
"Absolutely. There's no sense in getting off half-cocked."
THE SPY WHO LOVED ME
"Oh James, I cannot find the words."
"Well let me try & enlarge your vocabulary."
MOONRAKER
"Frederick Gray. And in distinguished company all wearing gas masks. Forgive me gentlemen, but not being English I sometimes find your sense of humour difficult to understand."
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
"A nose Q, not a banana!"
OCTOPUSSY
"The egg for your life."
"I'd heard the price of eggs was going up but isn't that a little high?"
THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS
"Why didn't you learn to play the violin?"
GOLDENEYE
"For an ex-KGB agent you surprise me, Valentin. Surely someone of your stature must have realised the skill was not to hit your knee, but to miss the rest of you."
THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
"Bond, James Bond!... Why am I suddenly worried that I'm not carrying enough life insurance?"
"Could you put that in English for people who don't speak spy?"
Comments
"yes well, you put your clothes on, and I'll buy you an ice cream" LMAO
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org
You missed, Mr. Bond."
"Did I?"
"A pity you leave us, Mr. Bond. Such good sport."
"Unless you're a pheasant."
Moore delivers it with wonderful underlying contempt for the villain.
Kauf: I'm just a professional doing a job.
Bond: Me too.
(Shoots Kaufman dead)
Casino Royale:
Bond: 'Now the whole world's going to know you just scratched my balls'
Bond: 'You're not my type'
Vesper: 'Smart?'
Bond: 'Single'
'And you're Miss Stephanie Broadchest'
Le Chiffre: 'Welcome Mr Beech...or is that Mr Bond? I'm a little confused.
Bond: 'Well we wouldn't want that would we?'
Quantum of Solace:
Fields: 'We're teachers on sabatical. It fits our cover'
Bond: 'No it doesn't'
Baddie on bike: 'You were meant to shoot her!'
Bond: 'Well I missed!' *kicks bike from under him*
"Double sixes... it's all in the whrist.."
His expression when he delivers that line without even looking at the dice is priceless!
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"You were to observe Mr Goldfinger, not borrow his girlfriend!"
I have a bit of a chuckle at that because that pretty much describes the "Playboy" attitude that the cinematic Bond had taken on from there, even though it wasn't strictly Fleming ...
Also from Goldfinger
Smithers: "Have some more of this rather disappointing brandy"
M: "Why, what's wrong with it?"
Bond: "I'd say it's a 30-year old fine indifferently blended, Sir ... with an overdose of bon bois."
M: "Colonel Smithers is giving the lecture, 007!"
"Tell me Commander, how far does your expertise extend into the world of diamonds?"
"A hardy substance found in nature, cut glass, suggests in place of a dog is a girl's best friend & that's about it."
"Refreshing to hear there's one subject you're not an expert on."
For some, M's sniping goes against the grain but it always amuses me.
"Well, I've always rather fancied a trip to South Africa."
"You're going to Holland! For some time, we've had our eye on a professional smuggler called Peter Franks..."
"I take it we know who his contacts are?"
"We do function in your absence, Commander." [Rolls eyes to Sir Donald]
"Tell me, do you lose as graciously as you win?"
" I wouldn't know, I've never lost."
Connery delivers it wonderfully.
its about as pointless as scalextic for one.
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
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www.cancerresearchuk.org
Ha! Ha! Nomination for Best Post of the Year 2012!
"Tall, slim, and dark."
"So is my aunt"
Goldfinger showing a horse to Bond.
Goldfinger, " A fine animal, Mr Bond "
Bond " Certainly better bred than the owner "
Wonderful stuff.
"Utter one more syllable and I'll have you killed"< I like this M, she softened a bit after this.
"I am looking for Dr. Goodhead"
"You've just found her"
"A woman?"
"your powers for observation do you credit"
Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
her expression is priceless, he for once is lost for a retort
Mr Kidd: "Well, Mrs Whistler did want some pictures of the canals for the children."
Mr Wint: "How kind of you, Mr Kidd. The children will be so thrilled."
LALD: "You wouldn't, not after what we just did." "Well I certainly wouldn't have before...."
"Do you think there's time for lesson #3." "Of course.....No sense going off half cocked."
TLD: "I must have my cello!" "NO WAY" *Cut to Dalton looking p*ssed*
Dalton mouths "DRIVE IN!" with a hand gesture. Kara looks confused. "My GOD!" mouths Dalton, with an exasperate eye roll.
"Salt Corrosion.....Amazing this modern safety glass!" And of course, "So glad I INSISTED you brought that cello!"
TB: "Well, you can't win 'em all."
"Would you like a tour of Palmyra?" "Yes, indeed I would." "I thought you might."
"So, it's your SPECTRE against mine?"
"I'm not with you." "Oh, you soon will be."
LTK: "Sweet dreams, Mr. Bond." "I hope you don't snore, Q."
"Are you alright?" "SWITCH THE BLOODY MACHINE OFF!"
"Compliments of Sharkey." (Mainly because you know he's gonna make 'ol Clive pay dearly for what he's done)
"I'd stick to flying, if I were you!" "I got the job done!"
"I've come to make a small deposit." "I'm sure one of my staff can..." *Bond's huge suitcase of money is brought in* "Please, sit down."
(Butcher at the institute) "Bless your heart!"
DAF: "I'm Plenty" "But of course you are."
"Plenty O'Toole." "Named after your father perhaps."
"Exceptionally fine shot." "....I didn't know there was a pool down there."
"One of us smells like a tart's hankerchief....I'm afraid it's me, sorry about that, old boy."
"My God! You just killed James Bond!" "Is that who that was? Well just goes to show that no one is indestructible."
"The whole office goes up and that bloody thing survives..."
"Your interior decorating tips have always been greatly appreciated, 007"
worker-"how did it happen?"
Bond-"I think they were on their way to a funeral!"
" I don't listen to hip hop!"
Characters in car in Live and Let Die: "I can't...I can't find the brake" [CRASH!]
Bond: "I must be dreaming!"
" I don't listen to hip hop!"
" I don't listen to hip hop!"
from the smashed window, asking "Who do you work for ?"
As I can't help thinking of the scene in Austin Powers, in the
Toilet when he's attacked and Tom Arnold in the next stall.
Hears Powers ask "Who does Number two work for ?"
and Tom Arnold says something about
"Yea, you show that Tu*d who's boss "