Silly/stupid bits that ruin a Bond movie for you...

chrisisall · February 2013

What moments/scenes/jokes or silly junk make a Bond film either unwatchable to you, or keep you away from repeated viewings on a regular basis like your favourites?
Also, what dodgey bits can you easily overlook in an otherwise excellent film for you?

My list:
Goldfinger: The level of nonsense in having a whole town pretend to be knocked out (the logistics in such a short time frame is laughable to me) puts me off tremendously; it's not enough to make me hate the flick, but certainly enough to limit my re-watch frequency.
You Only Live Twice: Turning Japanese, I think he's turning Japanese, don't really think so.

) That and the landing large spacecrafts undetected thing made Austin Powers possible, IMO. Nearly unwatchable.
Diamonds Are Forever: The whole tone of the movie bothers me just a bit, but the 'moonwalk dudes' attempting to catch 007 in faux slow motion is a particular offense to my eyes. I can watch it, but not too often (or sober).
Live And Let Die: As really good as this movie is, Rosey's existence and Kananga's death both entirely kill this entry for me.
The Man With The Golden Gun: Slide whistle... I can deal with it. 8-)
The Spy Who Loved Me: The Jaws character rubs me entirely the wrong way, but the film still sort of works for me on a totally comic book level... usually. Reading Christopher Wood's novelization & keeping it in mind helps.
Moonraker: Whatever lattitude I grant to the former film is gone here. The second half of the movie is just a build up to frustration detonation, and then, "Here's to us" BOOM. Absolutely unwatchable.
For Your Eyes Only: A delicatessen in stainless steel? Bibi? Thatcher talking to a parrot?? I might be able to deal except for the 80's DISCO SCORE!! Unwatchable.
Octopussy: Playing the Bond theme for Bond was stupid, the Tarzan yell was an idiotic addition, but the rest of the movie worked so well (in admittedly uneven waves of comic book & serious espionage swells) I can deal.
Die Another Day: A perfectly invisible car. REALLY? A Robo-Gustav? SERIOUSLY?? Throw in crap CGI & Halle Berry's not-nearly-as-good-as-Catwoman performance, and you get... unwatchable.

Was I fair? Agreement? Disagreement? Any films I missed?

LastRatStanding · February 2013

When Halle Berry dives off that cliff. Oh. My. Goodness. That bit is so so bad.

chrisisall · February 2013

LastRatStanding wrote:

When Halle Berry dives off that cliff. Oh. My. Goodness. That bit is so so bad.

What? Did that look FAKE to you or something?

)

Le Samourai · February 2013

Here's a few. For simplicity's sake, I'll just focus on small things—as opposed to major plot elements—that annoy me in Bond films I otherwise like.

TB: The jetpack. It seemed ridiculous after the brutal fight scene.

FYEO: The faux (?) Blofeld opening and the faux Thatcher ending. Totally jarring silliness in an otherwise fairly serious Bond film.

OP: The infamous Tarzan yell.

LTK: Slo-mo Felix. A semi popping a wheelie. Deranged sickbed Felix who seems not to remember the rape and murder of his wife.

TND: Bond not getting his head ripped off when he ejects the man choking him from behind with a garrote.

TWINE: The whole body heat/millennium bug/"Christmas comes…" ending.

LastRatStanding · February 2013

chrisisall wrote:

LastRatStanding wrote:

When Halle Berry dives off that cliff. Oh. My. Goodness. That bit is so so bad.

What? Did that look FAKE to you or something? ) )

It was appalling

) It definitely marks the turning point in DAD between watchable and unwatchable.

chrisisall · February 2013

Le Samourai wrote:

TB: The jetpack. It seemed ridiculous after the brutal fight scene.

Yeah, it was added in just because the production gained access to it, but it didn't ruin it for me- I actually liked it!

)

LTK: Deranged sickbed Felix who seems not to remember the rape and murder of his wife.

Oxycontin will eff you up that way...

)
Seriously, it was filmed first, and no one told Hedison the events that preceded his hospitalization, if I read correctly.

TND: Bond not getting his head ripped off when he ejects the man choking him from behind with a garrote.

REALLY seriously, in that situation, the strangling dude was feeling the explosive bolts firing right under his ass, you *think* that might have distracted his hold on the wire just a bit??

Le Samourai · February 2013

chrisisall wrote:

Le Samourai wrote:

TB: The jetpack. It seemed ridiculous after the brutal fight scene.

Yeah, it was added in just because the production gained access to it, but it didn't ruin it for me- I actually liked it! )

LTK: Deranged sickbed Felix who seems not to remember the rape and murder of his wife.

Oxycontin will eff you up that way... )
Seriously, it was filmed first, and no one told Hedison the events that preceded his hospitalization, if I read correctly.

TND: Bond not getting his head ripped off when he ejects the man choking him from behind with a garrote.

REALLY seriously, in that situation, the strangling dude was feeling the explosive bolts firing right under his ass, you *think* that might have distracted his hold on the wire just a bit??

You are correct re: Hedison and the filming of the scene. Still, I find it jarring.

As for TND... I'm still skeptical. People often freeze up under shock and stress, so the strangler might have actually tightened his grip.

chrisisall · February 2013

Le Samourai wrote:

As for TND... I'm still skeptical. People often freeze up under shock and stress, so the strangler might have actually tightened his grip.

Even if he *did*, he was launched up vertically, bringing the wire UP under Bond's helmet and hooking up under the solid portions of his helmet left & right of his chin; the worst Bond might have felt was a slight whiplash effect.
Plus, freezing up does not automatically translate into a more precise hold on a thin communication cable not designed to hold weight.

raptors_887 · February 2013

Yeah Goldfinger was a sweet movie up until everybody started getting knocked out when the planes flew by.

I would also say Thunderball when the boat speeds up and its very obvious that somebody just pressed the Fast Forward button on the video.

And then pretty much the entire movie of DAF was silly.

chrisisall · February 2013

raptors_887 wrote:

I would also say Thunderball when the boat speeds up and its very obvious that somebody just pressed the Fast Forward button on the video.

LOL, no denying that was goofy, I put it down to the technical camera & post limitations of the day though. Hitchcock's movies were full of that kind of sped-up/bad rear projection mess as well. -{

Jarvio · February 2013

The number 1 thing for me is the slide whistle in TMWTGG. Stuff like the OP Tarzan yell is stupid and all, but bond swinging from the vines wasn't really anything that I found too amazing anyway, so I can just ignore that bit. The slide whistle on TMWTGG however, ruins an absolutely spectacular stunt. That is one of the best stunts in the entire series, and the best moment in TMWTGG.... but the slide whistle makes it one of the worst

PMN · February 2013

The fight with Nick Nack in TMWTGG. I don't understand how
they smash about fifty wine bottles and not a drop of wine is
spilled or the fact that Rog and Britt are barefoot and don't get
cut to ribbons AND the fact that they manage to remove a ton
of broken glass from the bed and the floor in about 3 seconds.

Napoleon Plural · February 2013

Most of these are silly escapist movies, what bugs me is when they go for serious - but still leave in daft stuff as a hangover from other films. Like Blofeld dropped down the chimney in fyeo, the dubbing in OHMSS, that sort of thing.

I watched TB on the big screen once and nitpicked the hell out of it, which I don't do when it's on the plasma.

Moore Than · February 2013

Many of the Bond films are laced with silly or dodgy moments but none of them are ruined to the point where they are completely unwatchable to me. I will mention Moonraker as an example. It has two of the worst elements in the entire series, Jaws falling in love, and the laser battle in space. Seriously annoying as those things are, I cannot ignore the great production values, sets, locations, score. Great moments, such as the centrifuge, pheasant shoot and Corinne Dufour's demise, some memorable dialogue, and also some great humour.

So, whenever I watch Moonraker I fast forward past Jaws falling in love and the laser fight in space and happily enjoy the rest of the film.

davidelliott101 · February 2013

No one mentioned when Bond told the tiger to "SIT" in OP? Or Bond as a clown in the same film? Or the robo-dog in AVTAK? Or Jaws and Dolly in MR? Or the lack of a proper gunbarrel in the Daniel Craig films?

Ens007 · February 2013

davidelliott101 wrote:

Or the lack of a proper gunbarrel in the Daniel Craig films?

Proper?? Without rehashing this over-discussed topic, they've seemed perfectly good to me. I'm not entirely sure how their placement actually ruins the feature film. It's as if less than 10 seconds of clip determines whether the next 2 or so hours is any good, irrespective of the forthcoming plot, action, acting etc etc.

Sir Hillary Bray · February 2013

Absolutely nothing in any Bond fillm is so egregious that it prevents me from watching the film repeatedly. The low point for me was the CGI parasailing in DAD, but I will watch that film over and over.

Blackleiter · February 2013

I know what you mean. As low as I rank AVTAK, I still watch it from time to time. Afterall, it's a BOND FILM

!

Sir Hillary Bray wrote:

Absolutely nothing in any Bond fillm is so egregious that it prevents me from watching the film repeatedly. The low point for me was the CGI parasailing in DAD, but I will watch that film over and over.

Napoleon Plural · February 2013

Sir Hillary Bray wrote:

Absolutely nothing in any Bond fillm is so egregious that it prevents me from watching the film repeatedly. The low point for me was the CGI parasailing in DAD, but I will watch that film over and over.

"This boy's a fool!"

Sir Hillary Bray · February 2013

Napoleon Plural wrote:

Sir Hillary Bray wrote:

Absolutely nothing in any Bond fillm is so egregious that it prevents me from watching the film repeatedly. The low point for me was the CGI parasailing in DAD, but I will watch that film over and over.

"This boy's a fool!"

You know where I'm from, right? When you go all English to insult an American, you miss the mark. May as well call me a horse's a-s in Farsi. Try again...but quickly, as I've got DAD all cued up to watch for the 153rd time...

chrisisall · February 2013

davidelliott101 wrote:

No one mentioned when Bond told the tiger to "SIT" in OP?

Sorry, but I found that to be not only genuinely funny, but perversely possible.

)

Or Bond as a clown in the same film?

I don't know why some people don't like that; if Connery had done that scene everyone would be going on about how brilliant it was... ?:)

davidelliott101 · February 2013

Ens007: Threw that gunbarrel bit in as it really bugs me and my minor OCD!

chrisisall: No.. if Connery did it, it would be equally sad. Maybe it was a commentary by the producers as far as how distant the film Bond was at that point from the Fleming 007?

Well, those are a few of the silly bits I didn't care for.

Blackleiter · February 2013

I don't think even Connery could make the clown bit work! So don't drag him into this!

)

chrisisall wrote:

davidelliott101 wrote:

No one mentioned when Bond told the tiger to "SIT" in OP?

Sorry, but I found that to be not only genuinely funny, but perversely possible. )

Or Bond as a clown in the same film?

I don't know why some people don't like that; if Connery had done that scene everyone would be going on about how brilliant it was... ?:)

chrisisall · February 2013

davidelliott101 wrote:

if Connery did it, it would be equally sad. Maybe it was a commentary by the producers as far as how distant the film Bond was at that point from the Fleming 007?

Depending on how they're used, clowns can be funny, disturbing or terrifying.
In OP, the first agent is dressed as a clown and is brutally killed- bizarre and unsettling imagery. Bond taking on the same disguise automatically plants danger for him in your subconscious, and the circumstances of a 'clown' trying to save lives in imminent danger is such a strange juxtaposition that it just begs to be taken ultra-seriously.
Unless you see Bond as a superhero, in which case it merely looks silly to you.
That's like Batman posing in a hula skirt. Or Indiana Jones wearing a golf cap.

However, to me Bond is not a superhero; he's an agent that does what he has to to get the mission at hand accomplished. :007)

davidelliott101 · February 2013

chrisisall wrote:

davidelliott101 wrote:

if Connery did it, it would be equally sad. Maybe it was a commentary by the producers as far as how distant the film Bond was at that point from the Fleming 007?

Depending on how they're used, clowns can be funny, disturbing or terrifying.
In OP, the first agent is dressed as a clown and is brutally killed- bizarre and unsettling imagery. Bond taking on the same disguise automatically plants danger for him in your subconscious, and the circumstances of a 'clown' trying to save lives in imminent danger is such a strange juxtaposition that it just begs to be taken ultra-seriously.
Unless you see Bond as a superhero, in which case it merely looks silly to you.
That's like Batman posing in a hula skirt. Or Indiana Jones wearing a golf cap.

However, to me Bond is not a superhero; he's an agent that does what he has to to get the mission at hand accomplished. :007)

I see your point... but I think EON and the public viewed Bond as a superhero... not a secret agent (actually, I KNOW the public viewed him as a sort of super hero at that time... at least my peers did!) And speaking of Batman, the Joker is pretty scary and he has the clown motif going on, but not with a red nose and big floppy shoes.

I UNDERSTAND the reason in the story why Bond went "undercover" as a clown, but it's a far cry from the "Gentleman Secret Agent" of the 1960's and who the character is post-Moore.

But the thread is " Silly/stupid bits that ruin a Bond movie for you..." it's a silly bit for me, like a lot of things in Octopussy and so much in the Moore era. But that's my POV.

chrisisall · February 2013

davidelliott101 wrote:

But the thread is " Silly/stupid bits that ruin a Bond movie for you..." it's a silly bit for me, like a lot of things in Octopussy and so much in the Moore era. But that's my POV.

And a valid POV, I was just trying to see if I could change it a bit... :v

zaphod · February 2013

chrisisall wrote:

davidelliott101 wrote:

if Connery did it, it would be equally sad. Maybe it was a commentary by the producers as far as how distant the film Bond was at that point from the Fleming 007?

Depending on how they're used, clowns can be funny, disturbing or terrifying.
In OP, the first agent is dressed as a clown and is brutally killed- bizarre and unsettling imagery. Bond taking on the same disguise automatically plants danger for him in your subconscious, and the circumstances of a 'clown' trying to save lives in imminent danger is such a strange juxtaposition that it just begs to be taken ultra-seriously.
Unless you see Bond as a superhero, in which case it merely looks silly to you.
That's like Batman posing in a hula skirt. Or Indiana Jones wearing a golf cap.

However, to me Bond is not a superhero; he's an agent that does what he has to to get the mission at hand accomplished. :007)

I could buy that if it was Dalton or Connery, but Roger's Bond was so Clownlike itself that it undermined and negated any potential for juxtaposition. There was no incongruity for me.

Charmed & Dangerous · February 2013

Sir Rog snowboarding to the Beach Boys and knocking out a couple of villains in AVTAK PTS sequence was a low point for me...

In fact some of the musical effects throughout the Moore era films was gratingly silly... Like playing The Magnificent Seven theme when Bond is on a horse, and the Close Encounters melody for the door entry system, both during Moonraker... not to mention the Lawrence of Arabia theme in The Spy Who Loved Me...

Moore Than · February 2013

Charmed & Dangerous wrote:

Sir Rog snowboarding to the Beach Boys and knocking out a couple of villains in AVTAK PTS sequence was a low point for me...

In fact some of the musical effects throughout the Moore era films was gratingly silly... Like playing The Magnificent Seven theme when Bond is on a horse, and the Close Encounters melody for the door entry system, both during Moonraker... not to mention the Lawrence of Arabia theme in The Spy Who Loved Me...

The only one of those that bothers me is the Beach Boys. The others are fine, in fact the Close Encounters melody for the door entry system is quite amusing.

DieAnotherDay · February 2013

chrisisall wrote:

What moments/scenes/jokes or silly junk make a Bond film either unwatchable to you, or keep you away from repeated viewings on a regular basis like your favourites?
Also, what dodgey bits can you easily overlook in an otherwise excellent film for you?

My list:
Goldfinger: The level of nonsense in having a whole town pretend to be knocked out (the logistics in such a short time frame is laughable to me) puts me off tremendously; it's not enough to make me hate the flick, but certainly enough to limit my re-watch frequency.
You Only Live Twice: Turning Japanese, I think he's turning Japanese, don't really think so. ) That and the landing large spacecrafts undetected thing made Austin Powers possible, IMO. Nearly unwatchable.
Diamonds Are Forever: The whole tone of the movie bothers me just a bit, but the 'moonwalk dudes' attempting to catch 007 in faux slow motion is a particular offense to my eyes. I can watch it, but not too often (or sober).
Live And Let Die: As really good as this movie is, Rosey's existence and Kananga's death both entirely kill this entry for me.
The Man With The Golden Gun: Slide whistle... I can deal with it. 8-)
The Spy Who Loved Me: The Jaws character rubs me entirely the wrong way, but the film still sort of works for me on a totally comic book level... usually. Reading Christopher Wood's novelization & keeping it in mind helps.
Moonraker: Whatever lattitude I grant to the former film is gone here. The second half of the movie is just a build up to frustration detonation, and then, "Here's to us" BOOM. Absolutely unwatchable.
For Your Eyes Only: A delicatessen in stainless steel? Bibi? Thatcher talking to a parrot?? I might be able to deal except for the 80's DISCO SCORE!! Unwatchable.
Octopussy: Playing the Bond theme for Bond was stupid, the Tarzan yell was an idiotic addition, but the rest of the movie worked so well (in admittedly uneven waves of comic book & serious espionage swells) I can deal.
Die Another Day: A perfectly invisible car. REALLY? A Robo-Gustav? SERIOUSLY?? Throw in crap CGI & Halle Berry's not-nearly-as-good-as-Catwoman performance, and you get... unwatchable.

Was I fair? Agreement? Disagreement? Any films I missed?

I can agree with all of these but although the may ruin points of the movie I don't think it makes any of the unwatchable (especially DAD). Other scenes that really bother me in the series is the cable car scene in MR, although it is considered by some to be a good action set piece I think that it is far to campy and underplayed - making it seem less like an action movie and more like a comic book. The whole car chase through Paris in AVTAK has basically the same effect for me. Finally that whole climax on the oil rig in DAF....god that was awful; full of cheesy quips >"we're showing a bit more cheek than usual." And there is also not the slightest hint of any danger in that film and Blofelds end in cringeworthy >"Command Centre come in. Damn you! Damn you!!!"

chrisisall · February 2013

Moore Than wrote:

The only one of those that bothers me is the Beach Boys.

Yeah, at least things like the Tarzan yell are mercifully short. 8-)

Silly/stupid bits that ruin a Bond movie for you...

Comments