Your First Bond Movie Review Written As A Kid (memory & imagination)

chrisisallchrisisall Western Mass, USAPosts: 9,062MI6 Agent
1971 DAF- my first Bond, age 11.

This movie was SO cool! But, can that wrapping your arms around yourself trick work? There's still only one set of legs. Maybe it was dark enough... Wow, Tiffany was HOT in that see through thing! Damn, I just wish my Mom wasn't sitting right next to me, that was uncomfortable... Wint & Kidd seemed sort of really gay. I wonder if the actors cut themselves on that broken glass in the elevator in the fight scene? Seeing Plenty's butt was excellent, but then My Mom had to tell me that people didn't really act like that in real life... downer. Bond doing Spider-man was awesome. Made me dizzy, even. Oh man, Bond should have just punched Bambi & Thumper in their faces. Ohhh, and Blofeld had a laser, kinda like the phasers on Star Trek, but way less powerful- very science fictiony anyway! Cool helicopter battle, but I was really looking at Tiffany's bikini. Ha, Bond flipped that idiot over the rail. Bomb surprise- I get it.
Final rating, James Bond is better than The Man From UNCLE. Way cooler that the last movie I saw (Beneath The Planet Of The Apes- THAT was a DOWNER). 5 stars.


Okay, your turn, write a review of you first Bond using inner child memory!
Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool.
#1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.GF 4.GE 5.DN 6.FYEO 7.FRWL 8.TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT/QOS

Comments

  • BlackleiterBlackleiter Washington, DCPosts: 5,615MI6 Agent
    edited November 2013
    1964 Goldfinger - my first Bond, age 10

    Wow! I thought that duck at the beginning of the movie was real! James Bond has to be the coolest dude in the world. His tuxedo didn't even get wet! That was wrong, though, letting that girl get knocked out when he saw that dude's reflection in her eye. I like the way he is able to go anywhere in the world - for free! First he's in some Spanish country, then he's in Miami, then London. Plus he wears the nicest clothes and eats the most expensive food. But the villain, Goldfinger, must be even richer than him, because everything he has is made out of gold! And he has the biggest, scariest Chinese guy as his bodyguard. I sure would hate for him to throw that hat at me!!! I like the fact that James Bond is not only a good fighter, but he's smart, too. Like the way he tricked Goldfinger playing golf. I wish I could cheat like that in school without getting caught. And man, my favorite part was when he was driving that car with all those cool gadgets. I gonna get me one of those when I grow up! P*ssy Galore!!!! I didn't know you could say that in the movies!!! I was was kinda scared when that Chinese guy was throwing him around, but like I said, James Bond is smart and he got him with that electric wire. Right on! The movie had some funny parts, too. Like when Goldfinger got sucked out of the plane through the window. I was laughing so hard that my soda shot out of my nose! That was one of the most exciting, coolest, fun movies I have ever seen. I loved it! 10 out of 10!
    "Felix Leiter, a brother from Langley."
  • chrisisallchrisisall Western Mass, USAPosts: 9,062MI6 Agent
    I see we're getting those 'kid' voices down well- good show BL! -{
    Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool.
    #1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.GF 4.GE 5.DN 6.FYEO 7.FRWL 8.TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT/QOS
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,868Chief of Staff
    OHMSS, 1969- aged 11

    Ok, who's this guy pretending to be James Bond? Hey, he's pretty good actually! Wow, now THAT is a tune!!! Perfect! This is dragging... I'm getting bored with all this loveydovey stuff... talk talk... Hey, Telly Savalas! More talking. Now I'm getting confused- where's the magic car? Will this mountain have a spaceship inside it? Too much kissy kissy love stuff.
    Skiing! Big ski chase! Fantastic! Now a car chase- this is more like it.
    More snow stuff! Bang bang chase chase! This is great! Wonderful music!
    Oh, more lovey dovey stuff. Yawn.
    They get married! Big deal.... then she gets killed. Downer.
    Oh, it's done. I was waiting for him to chase the bald guy and kill him. Maybe next movie!
  • BlackleiterBlackleiter Washington, DCPosts: 5,615MI6 Agent
    chrisisall wrote:
    I see we're getting those 'kid' voices down well- good show BL! -{

    I remember it like it was yesterday!
    "Felix Leiter, a brother from Langley."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,868Chief of Staff

    I remember it like it was yesterday!

    You mean it wasn't? :#
  • BlackleiterBlackleiter Washington, DCPosts: 5,615MI6 Agent
    Barbel wrote:

    I remember it like it was yesterday!

    You mean it wasn't? :#

    If only!
    "Felix Leiter, a brother from Langley."
  • chrisisallchrisisall Western Mass, USAPosts: 9,062MI6 Agent
    Barbel wrote:
    Oh, it's done. I was waiting for him to chase the bald guy and kill him. Maybe next movie!
    Yeah, RIGHT?!?!?!
    Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool.
    #1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.GF 4.GE 5.DN 6.FYEO 7.FRWL 8.TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT/QOS
  • ZorinIndustriesZorinIndustries United StatesPosts: 837MI6 Agent
    GoldenEye, when I was age 6 (Around 1999 or 2000)

    Wow! Look at all those explosions! This is so similar to the Nintendo 64 game! This is wonderful! James Bond is the absolute coolest action hero! I want to be just like him! He's got that girl, Natalaya, with him and she has cooties. Plus she always gets in the way of my video game. When I kill her, I fail the mission. But anyways, this is so cool to see on TV! James Bond on cable! WOW!
    "Better luck next time... slugheads!"

    1. GoldenEye 2. Goldfinger 3. Skyfall 4. OHMSS 5. TWINE
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