(Spoilers for NTTD) Shakespeare's Bond: Work area (All welcome!)

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  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    :o
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    Act 2, Scene 5. The bedchambers of Corinne. Enter Sir James.
    Corinne: Mine mother hast given me guidance on what to do with a man, and what not to do.
    Sir James: Alack,'tis not mine purpose.
    Corinne: O, then what ist thine purpose Sir James?
    Sir James: I do seek information...

    Over to you, but Sir James has to end up with a clue that leads him to Venice.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    edited February 2017
    Act 2, Scene 5. The bedchambers of Corinne. Enter Sir James.

    Corinne: Mine mother hast given me guidance on what to do with a man, and what not to do.
    Sir James: Alack,'tis not mine purpose.
    Corinne: O, then what ist thine purpose Sir James?
    Sir James: I do seek information... What else occurs here at Schloss Drax-ula ?
    Corinne:" We have Zumba classes, needlepoint, a book club and every sunday
    a cake sale "
    Sir James:" I was thinking more of the Raker of moons quest, anything similar "
    Corinne:" Nothing I can think off, Sir Hugo always goes on about how he hates
    England, the queen, how English knights are all soooooo stupid to ever discover
    his secret in Venice, that beith all ! "
    sir James:" so nothing unusual then "
    Corinne:" Sorry, No...... He has a safe in his office, it's very secret full of his plans
    he mentioned once that it had plans of something secret in Venice "
    Sir James:" odd that everthing seems so normal"
    Corinne:" Aye, Sir James, everthing is so boring, even the training of the crews, in
    Battle techniques, assassination methods, overthrow of governments, all just normal
    everyday stuff"
    Sir James:" Don't worry about it, it was a long shot that anything unusual might be happening "
    Corinne:" Sorry Sir James, Sir Hugo is just a typical slightly unhinged megalomaniac, looking
    for revenge on thine world, .... nothing strange. ........ except perhaps... he has a book on
    a town in the north of England called Manchester, maybe that's important ?"
    Sir James:" Forsooth!, it's known as the Venice of the north, so perhaps Venice should be the
    place to start ! .....Now on that guidance of your mother ?"
    corinne:" She said if I got the urge, I should suck a fisherman's friend, .... so I joined an
    angling club !"
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    Sir James: Forsooth, mine friend Quarrel ist a fisherman.
    Corinne: 'Tis most interesting, Sir James! Thou art a fisherman's friend!
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    :)) :)) :))
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    Well, that's us just about finished with the first part- well done there!

    We could now start in Venice, or do the scene where Drax makes James shoot a pheasant (not) then feeds Corinne to his dogs.... if we want to do that then it's easy to slip in a line earlier about the dogs.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    edited February 2017
    (a field where archery practice is taking place)

    Sir Hugo:" Goodmorrow,Sir James, may I introduce before they take their leave
    la signora formatori verdi and alla Cone tess asp nove millimetri"
    ( the ladies depart the field .... Bickering! )
    Sir Hugo:" I have organised this tournament to find the best Archer in the land
    How good are you as a bowman Bond ?"
    Sir James:" I only stopped to thank you for your hospitality"
    Sir hugo:" Are you a scaredy pants, or ..... French !"
    Sir James:" Doubtith That I am in thy class "
    Sir Hugo:" Takith my bow, and try yon target "
    Sir James:" I see your arrow is dead centre, a perfect score"
    Sir Hugo:" unbeatable, dear fellow "
    Sir James:" It looks terribly difficult"
    (sir James draws back his bow and lets fly as Corrine arrives with
    two guard Chihuahuas, still looking at Sir Hugo Bond's arrow, splits
    Sir Hugo's arrow in twain )
    Sir James:" No it isin't "
    Sir Hugo aside:" Flash Git !"
    sir James leaves.....
    Sir Hugo:" Chang? Or is it Charr? heard how you did speak with Sir James, last
    evening. You are dismissed, lets see if thine legs can out run my trained puppies"
    Corrine runs but is soon covered in excited yapping Chihuahua puppies, soon she
    expires from their insane cuteness.
    Sir Hugo exists stage left.....
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Charmed & DangerousCharmed & Dangerous Posts: 7,358MI6 Agent
    Barbel wrote:
    Sir Miles wrote:

    Corinne Clèry was in a film called The Story of O -{
    Was that about the history of Polos ? :)

    Hm, I'd have bet that TP would've been the one to get that reference! (It's, er, a gentleman's interest art film) :D

    TP was not alone.... I was 16 when I saw that film... Ms Clery still holds a special place in my, ah, affection for that one ;% :o :))
    "How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    :) 'Tis good I am not the only one who remembers!

    See http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/867472/#p867472
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    Just tidying up TP's very funny scene:

    See http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/867472/#p867472
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    edited February 2017
    Act 3, Scene 1. Venice. Sir James arrives at St Mark’s Square in a gondola.

    Sir James: I bid thee, tarry here, Franco.
    Franco: Oui monsieur James, I'll just sell some cornettos, till thy return.
    " Just one cornetto, give it to me delicious ice-cream of Italy .... #"
    ( A french guy playing an Italian character, revenge for Rene Mathis )
    (Sir James doth walk to a shoppe, with a sign “Drax Venini Glass: Ye Perfectly Ordinary Glass Shoppe, Nothing Unusual Here”, and enters.)
    Exotic Maiden: Can i do something TO you,..... Pardon FOR you, good sir?
    Sir James: Oh, in many ways I am sure, but methinks I should like to look around.
    Exotic Maiden: I prithee feel free, good sir, for all is in order in this shoppe, ye won’t find anything suspicious, no sirree. Although please regard this scroll, and prithee do not explore Here,( Secret
    apothecary Lab), Here ( Henchman's Hangout Union members only ) or definitely not this chamber.
    Sir James: why not that chamber ?
    Exotic maiden: tis the ladies privy !
    (Sir James doth look at some glass vials, before spying Apothecary Goodhead also looking around. He follows her outside. Only to see an American explorer and his female companion emerge from
    a sewer cover and run off.)
    Sir James: Apothecary Goodhead, what a surprise to find thee here!
    Gala: ‘Tis an amazing coincidence, Sir James.
    Sir James: Thou shalt dine with me forthwith. My hostlery doth a fine soup in a basket.
    Gala: Alack, nay, for I must lecture tonight.
    (Exit Gala. Sir James calls for Franco, pushes past a group of
    tourists buying ice-cream and they set off in the gondola.)
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    TP's scene above, with additions (okay, TP?):

    See http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/867472/#p867472
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    Please never worry about making any changes, we all want it to be funny
    so if it works fine, if not then we can all try and change it to something better {[]
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    {[] Agreed! And you feel free to alter the scene below:

    See http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/867472/#p867472
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    A couple of suggestions...

    A purse which turns in to a Bear Trap, a lady's muff which can be expanded
    to make a furry jousting pole . A sword with a walking stick hidden in it.
    A ruff than changes to a spare wheel for a carriage. A selection of wigs
    containing various homing pigeons, a parchment called " spying for girls"
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    :D Exactly! (See above)
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    TP, I doff my hat (or I would if I wore one) at your wonderful in-joke in the scene below. Well played, sir! {[]

    See http://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/867472/#p867472
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
  • Charmed & DangerousCharmed & Dangerous Posts: 7,358MI6 Agent
    Loving this one! {[]
    Maybe in the above scene, we can work in Darx's business making him a... Merchant of Venice?
    Mayhap Gala would'st then mistake Sir James for Shylock instead of Sherlock
    I will have a go tonight if I get a moment
    "Drax C&D Inconspicuous... " :)) :)) -{
    "How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    :D Glad you spotted that! It was a small step from "C&W" to "C&D".

    If you don't mind, I'll slip in the Merchant/Shylock reference right now (again, well spotted, I missed that opportunity- which shows the benefits of teamwork) and if you get a moment perhaps you could look at Sir James meeting Gala then being attacked by Jaws, who is rescued by Dolly- I can't think how to do that without the cable cars... :#
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    Could Jaws attack them on a rope bridge, falling again into a Circus, to meet Dolly ?
    Then the kidnapping attempt in a medical carriage ?
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    ...and could this circus have a sign saying "Book early for Berlin, only four years to go"?

    And perhaps Jaws falls through the recently repaired big top, causing the ringmaster to exclaim "Nay, not again"?
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    :)) And give Dolly braces in the first draft, then remove them, so people will be
    Confused for years ! ;)
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    :D :D :D

    We have GOT to have a braces joke!
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,619MI6 Agent
    Carnival time and no green trainers??

    What's wrong with you, Barbel? :v
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    edited February 2017
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
    PMSL, Thunderpussy, wonderful stuff there!

    And Higgins, just cos you missed the two references* don't make out they're not there! After all, you only noticed 3 out of the 5 in LTK!

    * Up to that point, anyway
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 37,734Chief of Staff
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