Perhaps we should have a parody of slow TV? A very popular theatre play where the scene is just a hole in the wall and the audience just watches what happens outside, maybe? )
I was thinking a short scene with the young wizard .......
( Sir Mallory, stands behind the young wizard, who is working on his potions ...... )
Sir Mallory : What progress hath thee made on opening the abattoir Doors, we doth
need the infomation hidden behing those bloody doors !
Young Wizard : Please no need for the strong Language Sire
Sir Millory : Thee needs to work on thine image, some find you less manly ...
Young Wizard : I hath taken up Cage fighting and rock climbing
Sir Mallory ; UM ? .... verily Butch Indeed.
( The young Wizard attaches a small barell to the Doors and lights the fuse, quickly running
back to Sir Mallory to hide behind a large desk , ....... there is a very large Explosion !!! ...
.... which destroys most of the side of the courtyard. Sir Mallory and the young wizard
rise with soot covered faces ! )
Sir Mallory : Think ya, used enough gunpowder there Butch ! ...... you were only supposed
to blow the bloody doors off !!
( The young Wizard runs towards the damaged area ... )
Young Wizard: Look here Sir Mallory, some of the parchements have survived.
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
) That's excellent (and not a lot of people know that)! That's the first scene written for another one. (Another one??? )
Calling the current M "Sir Gareth" is more correct, but "Sir Mallory" is more immediately recognisable. Am thinking of changing them all to "Lord Mallory".
Rather than working up a plot, how about we do what TP did a couple of posts earlier and just do versions of classic scenes but with Sir James & his entourage slotted in? Like when I replaced "Spam" with "Smalahove"?
If we get enough of these, we can fit a plot around them- which isn't new in the world of Bond- and it gives us a lot more freedom.
What if Bond (or agent 69 with the hand-drawn carriage) goes by the slow theatre "stage" and the audience are confused and enraged by the introduction of action and narrative drive?
People could pay a penny to look through a hole in a wall.
To watch others look through a hole in a wall, and then
Comment on what they'd seen ( Google box )
Or a bunch of young people sit on stage discussing their
Lives that week, ( The only way is Essex or Geordie Shore )
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Sir Miles: Look Sir James: here comes the Prince of Wales. Or as it’s sometimes known in the colonies, Whales.
Sir James and Sir Miles: My liege. (They bow).
Prince of Wales: Sir James, that is a nice suit of armour thou wearest. Is it a Prince of Wales check?
Sir James: Aye, ‘‘tis indeed a Prince of Wales, my liege the Prince of Wales. And thine armour?
Prince of Wales: Nay Sir James and Sir Miles. Please, call me Bonny Prince Charlie. (Turning to the scene before him): ‘Tis quite the collection of chariots thou hast.
Sir Miles: Aye, Bonnie... um My liege. One of these was formerly raced by another Prince of Wales, Lord Timothy. It has not been seen living in the light of day since.
Sir James: And the other my liege, was first driven by another kin to Bonnie Prince Charlie, though ‘‘twas reported to have perished in the highlands when the heavens fell, though since rebuilt by our Wizard.
Putting the last two bits together, and adding a little more. Haven't been able to get the "slow theatre" idea to gel, though.
(Ye chamber of Maid Moneypenny, where she ist chatting with Lady Lashana.)
Maid Moneypenny: …. five times! ‘Twas incredible!
Lady Lashana: So! There may be a lot more to him than I had expected.
Maid Moneypenny: Oh, indeed, I believe the expression ist “well hu- (Enter ye Prince of Wales.)
Lady Lashana: Mine liege!
Prince of Wales: I prithee, fair maidens, please do not let me interrupt. What were thee talking about?
Maid Moneypenny: ...er… we were just admiring ye new portrait of Dame Miles which has been hung open mine wall.
Lady Lashana: Aye… er… it hath been well hung. (Maid Moneypenny looks at her feet, unable to look Lady Lashana in ye eye.)
Prince of Wales: Let me see… hmm, it doth bear a resemblance to one of mine ancestors. Or more, methinks. However, I must see thine liege.
Maid Moneypenny: He ist in ye courtyard, sire, with Sir James.
(Ye courtyard.)
Sir Mallory: Look Sir James: here comes ye Prince of Wales. Or as he’s sometimes known in the colonies, ye Prince of Whales.
Sir James: There must be some porpoise to that.
Sir Mallory: Behave thineself, 69! (Enter ye Prince of Wales.)
Sir James and Sir Mallory: Mine liege. (They bow).
Prince of Wales: Sir James, that is a nice suit of armour thou wearest. Is it a Prince of Wales check?
Sir James: Aye, ‘tis indeed a Prince of Wales, mine liege ye Prince of Wales. And thine armour?
Prince of Wales: Nay Sir James and Sir Mallory. Please, call me Bonnie Prince Charlie. (Turning to the scene before him.) ‘Tis quite the collection of chariots thou hast.
Sir Mallory: Aye, Bonnie... um mine liege. One of these was formerly raced by another Prince of Wales, Lord Timothy. It has not been seen living in the light of day since.
Sir James: And the other, mine liege, was first driven by another kin to Bonnie Prince Charlie, though ‘twas reported to have perished in the highlands when the heavens fell. It hath since rebuilt by our Wizard.
Sir Mallory: Speaking of which, I must go see him about a task he hath been given.
(Ye chamber of ye Young Wizard.)
(Sir Mallory stands behind ye Young Wizard, who is working on his potions.....)
Sir Mallory: What progress hath thee made on opening the abattoir doors? We doth need the information hidden behind those bloody doors!
Young Wizard: Please, no need for the strong language sire.
Sir Mallory: Thee needs to work on thine image, some find you less manly...
Young Wizard: I hath taken up cage fighting and rock climbing.
Sir Mallory: Um? Verily, butch indeed. (Ye Young Wizard attaches a small barrel to the doors and lights the fuse, quickly running back to Sir Mallory to hide behind a large desk....... There is a very large explosion!!! ....... Which destroys most of the side of the chamber. Sir Mallory and ye Young Wizard rise with soot covered faces.)
Sir Mallory: Think ya used enough gunpowder there Butch! ...... You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!! (Ye Young Wizard runs towards the damaged area...)
Young Wizard: Look here Sir Mallory, some of the parchments have survived.
( a courtyard enter Sir Miles followed by Sir James they approach an Italian Broccoli seller ..... )
Sir Miles : Make hast there, Make Haste I say for the approaching Prince, Albert !
Albert : An approaching Prince Albert ? ( Sir James looks embarrassed ..... )
Sir James : Damnation, these beith the thickest Tights I have !
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
I included TP's idea above, only to find that the assembled version of this play was now over the character limit for posts here. This has never happened to me before! I wonder if anyone else has had this situation, or was this the longest post ever on AJB?
Anyway, it has forced me to portion this particular pastiche into two parts, and the above dialogue is now in Part Two https://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/952609/#p952609 although I may have to do some tidying up later.
An idea for an equipment scene, ..... or between Sir James and Lady Lashana as they
spar against each other ?
Sir james : Ah? , I see thee still use the trusty PP7 sword ?
Young Wizard : Verily Sir james, It hath a delivery like a brick through a stained glass window.
Sir James : So yee hath not felt thine need to upgradith ?
Young Wizard : The pp8 was too long to conceal in a convenient pocket
Sir James : Um, With that sign there I thought thee hath made some new arrangements.
Doth it it not state " PP-9" ?
Young Wizard : Nay, Sir James. That be-ith a sign to let our Germanic colleagues know-ith
that our Privy, is not working !
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Just an Idea for the news that Grace Jones was to have made a guest spot ....
In the Tavern, Lord Felix, grabs Sir James by the arm .....
Lord Felix : Take notice, Sir James, thee lady sitting across is she not ..... er?
June Bride ? .... April Showers ? ...... March Hare ? August Bank Holiday ?
Sir James : Nay, She hath a strong resemblence to ............
( They grow silent as Lady Lashana, approaches .......... )
or you could try and fit it in somewhere ........ as the actress said to the bishop
"I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
Ye throne room of Sir Gareth Mallory. Enter Sir James.
Maid Moneypenny: Why, there thou art, Sir James! I have been seeking thee everywhere.
Sir James: I was, er, just improving my French.
Maid Moneypenny: A master of many tongues thou most surely art.
Sir James: Nay, just one- but thou never take advantage of it.
Maid Moneypenny: Thou should attend Sir Gareth forthwith, he hast sent for thee most urgently.
Sir Gareth: A most serious situation hast arisen, Naught Naught Seven.
Sir James: Great weapons have been purloined? Our agents have been slain?
Sir Gareth: Nay, it would seem that there is a threat to Parliament itself.
Sir James: Hmm, hast that Sir Guy Fawkes character escaped from gaol and got up to his olde tricks again?
Sir Gareth: Worse than that. ‘Twould seem that our Parliament ist to be prevented from its business, at a time of great importance, in a most unusual and some say unconstitutional and undemocratic manner.
Sir James: Nay! What does ye Prime Minister have to say?
Sir Gareth. ...ah…. I was afraid thou might ask that...
Comments
( Sir Mallory, stands behind the young wizard, who is working on his potions ...... )
Sir Mallory : What progress hath thee made on opening the abattoir Doors, we doth
need the infomation hidden behing those bloody doors !
Young Wizard : Please no need for the strong Language Sire
Sir Millory : Thee needs to work on thine image, some find you less manly ...
Young Wizard : I hath taken up Cage fighting and rock climbing
Sir Mallory ; UM ? .... verily Butch Indeed.
( The young Wizard attaches a small barell to the Doors and lights the fuse, quickly running
back to Sir Mallory to hide behind a large desk , ....... there is a very large Explosion !!! ...
.... which destroys most of the side of the courtyard. Sir Mallory and the young wizard
rise with soot covered faces ! )
Sir Mallory : Think ya, used enough gunpowder there Butch ! ...... you were only supposed
to blow the bloody doors off !!
( The young Wizard runs towards the damaged area ... )
Young Wizard: Look here Sir Mallory, some of the parchements have survived.
Calling the current M "Sir Gareth" is more correct, but "Sir Mallory" is more immediately recognisable. Am thinking of changing them all to "Lord Mallory".
Slow TV parody sounds promising.
Rather than working up a plot, how about we do what TP did a couple of posts earlier and just do versions of classic scenes but with Sir James & his entourage slotted in? Like when I replaced "Spam" with "Smalahove"?
If we get enough of these, we can fit a plot around them- which isn't new in the world of Bond- and it gives us a lot more freedom.
People could pay a penny to look through a hole in a wall.
To watch others look through a hole in a wall, and then
Comment on what they'd seen ( Google box )
Or a bunch of young people sit on stage discussing their
Lives that week, ( The only way is Essex or Geordie Shore )
For any casual viewers who're wondering what this is all about, check out https://www.ajb007.co.uk/topic/47380/ajb-presents-william-shakespeares-james-bond-in/
Sir Miles: Look Sir James: here comes the Prince of Wales. Or as it’s sometimes known in the colonies, Whales.
Sir James and Sir Miles: My liege. (They bow).
Prince of Wales: Sir James, that is a nice suit of armour thou wearest. Is it a Prince of Wales check?
Sir James: Aye, ‘‘tis indeed a Prince of Wales, my liege the Prince of Wales. And thine armour?
Prince of Wales: Nay Sir James and Sir Miles. Please, call me Bonny Prince Charlie. (Turning to the scene before him): ‘Tis quite the collection of chariots thou hast.
Sir Miles: Aye, Bonnie... um My liege. One of these was formerly raced by another Prince of Wales, Lord Timothy. It has not been seen living in the light of day since.
Sir James: And the other my liege, was first driven by another kin to Bonnie Prince Charlie, though ‘‘twas reported to have perished in the highlands when the heavens fell, though since rebuilt by our Wizard.
(Ye chamber of Maid Moneypenny, where she ist chatting with Lady Lashana.)
Maid Moneypenny: …. five times! ‘Twas incredible!
Lady Lashana: So! There may be a lot more to him than I had expected.
Maid Moneypenny: Oh, indeed, I believe the expression ist “well hu-
(Enter ye Prince of Wales.)
Lady Lashana: Mine liege!
Prince of Wales: I prithee, fair maidens, please do not let me interrupt. What were thee talking about?
Maid Moneypenny: ...er… we were just admiring ye new portrait of Dame Miles which has been hung open mine wall.
Lady Lashana: Aye… er… it hath been well hung.
(Maid Moneypenny looks at her feet, unable to look Lady Lashana in ye eye.)
Prince of Wales: Let me see… hmm, it doth bear a resemblance to one of mine ancestors. Or more, methinks. However, I must see thine liege.
Maid Moneypenny: He ist in ye courtyard, sire, with Sir James.
(Ye courtyard.)
Sir Mallory: Look Sir James: here comes ye Prince of Wales. Or as he’s sometimes known in the colonies, ye Prince of Whales.
Sir James: There must be some porpoise to that.
Sir Mallory: Behave thineself, 69!
(Enter ye Prince of Wales.)
Sir James and Sir Mallory: Mine liege. (They bow).
Prince of Wales: Sir James, that is a nice suit of armour thou wearest. Is it a Prince of Wales check?
Sir James: Aye, ‘tis indeed a Prince of Wales, mine liege ye Prince of Wales. And thine armour?
Prince of Wales: Nay Sir James and Sir Mallory. Please, call me Bonnie Prince Charlie. (Turning to the scene before him.) ‘Tis quite the collection of chariots thou hast.
Sir Mallory: Aye, Bonnie... um mine liege. One of these was formerly raced by another Prince of Wales, Lord Timothy. It has not been seen living in the light of day since.
Sir James: And the other, mine liege, was first driven by another kin to Bonnie Prince Charlie, though ‘twas reported to have perished in the highlands when the heavens fell. It hath since rebuilt by our Wizard.
Sir Mallory: Speaking of which, I must go see him about a task he hath been given.
(Ye chamber of ye Young Wizard.)
(Sir Mallory stands behind ye Young Wizard, who is working on his potions.....)
Sir Mallory: What progress hath thee made on opening the abattoir doors? We doth need the information hidden behind those bloody doors!
Young Wizard: Please, no need for the strong language sire.
Sir Mallory: Thee needs to work on thine image, some find you less manly...
Young Wizard: I hath taken up cage fighting and rock climbing.
Sir Mallory: Um? Verily, butch indeed.
(Ye Young Wizard attaches a small barrel to the doors and lights the fuse, quickly running back to Sir Mallory to hide behind a large desk....... There is a very large explosion!!! ....... Which destroys most of the side of the chamber. Sir Mallory and ye Young Wizard rise with soot covered faces.)
Sir Mallory: Think ya used enough gunpowder there Butch! ...... You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!!
(Ye Young Wizard runs towards the damaged area...)
Young Wizard: Look here Sir Mallory, some of the parchments have survived.
( a courtyard enter Sir Miles followed by Sir James they approach an Italian Broccoli seller ..... )
Sir Miles : Make hast there, Make Haste I say for the approaching Prince, Albert !
Albert : An approaching Prince Albert ? ( Sir James looks embarrassed ..... )
Sir James : Damnation, these beith the thickest Tights I have !
Anyway, it has forced me to portion this particular pastiche into two parts, and the above dialogue is now in Part Two https://www.ajb007.co.uk/post/952609/#p952609 although I may have to do some tidying up later.
Don't worry Barbel, this happens to many AJBers, not just you. Try thinking of
Cricket scores, or Adam Sandler movies.
Seems Bond 25 will become an Epic -{
Nice to know I've had my hand on something so long....... Sorry A Hand in something
so Long. ;%
spar against each other ?
Sir james : Ah? , I see thee still use the trusty PP7 sword ?
Young Wizard : Verily Sir james, It hath a delivery like a brick through a stained glass window.
Sir James : So yee hath not felt thine need to upgradith ?
Young Wizard : The pp8 was too long to conceal in a convenient pocket
Sir James : Um, With that sign there I thought thee hath made some new arrangements.
Doth it it not state " PP-9" ?
Young Wizard : Nay, Sir James. That be-ith a sign to let our Germanic colleagues know-ith
that our Privy, is not working !
Oh, that has to go in!
In the Tavern, Lord Felix, grabs Sir James by the arm .....
Lord Felix : Take notice, Sir James, thee lady sitting across is she not ..... er?
June Bride ? .... April Showers ? ...... March Hare ? August Bank Holiday ?
Sir James : Nay, She hath a strong resemblence to ............
( They grow silent as Lady Lashana, approaches .......... )
or you could try and fit it in somewhere ........ as the actress said to the bishop
Tara King's code number was, 69
The only Avengers lady not to have appeared in a Bond film. Shame!
Sir James #25
"Not Enough Time to Perish"?
"Pressed for time to die"?
"Too hectic to pass away"?
"Hath thou time to die?"
We prbably have to work on this ….
Nought Nought Seven Time To Pass Away?
Well i guess it’s do or die.
Maid Moneypenny: Why, there thou art, Sir James! I have been seeking thee everywhere.
Sir James: I was, er, just improving my French.
Maid Moneypenny: A master of many tongues thou most surely art.
Sir James: Nay, just one- but thou never take advantage of it.
Maid Moneypenny: Thou should attend Sir Gareth forthwith, he hast sent for thee most urgently.
Sir Gareth: A most serious situation hast arisen, Naught Naught Seven.
Sir James: Great weapons have been purloined? Our agents have been slain?
Sir Gareth: Nay, it would seem that there is a threat to Parliament itself.
Sir James: Hmm, hast that Sir Guy Fawkes character escaped from gaol and got up to his olde tricks again?
Sir Gareth: Worse than that. ‘Twould seem that our Parliament ist to be prevented from its business, at a time of great importance, in a most unusual and some say unconstitutional and undemocratic manner.
Sir James: Nay! What does ye Prime Minister have to say?
Sir Gareth. ...ah…. I was afraid thou might ask that...