Oh, I'd love to take you up on that Higgins, since you're hardly in a position to criticise anyone elses dress; but that would be discussion and this is strictly a joke thread which of course we would want to stay open.
Scotland does not want to be part of the progress, like back in the day when pants have been invented
Nicola sturgeon doesn't want to be part of the process, she needs to do her sums, or maybe she has in the same manner she writes important political letters....... Which is why they dont add up?
If anyone's on Instagram, there's a US poster called RemovedTweets who has started posting some amusing fake political tweets including the following (before enlarging, be warned, the top one is a little close to the knuckle):
This aren't strictly political jokes, but I'll chance it.
What do you call people from other nations and what do they call you? (obviously racist words have no place here!)
The Danes call us Norwegians "fjeldabe" The word means "mountain monkey" )
We call the Swedes "Søta bror". This is actually Swedish and means "sweet brother". This is more of an affectionate term.
In return the Swedes call us "Norrbagge". "Norr" means North and bagge means (I quote): "the genitals of male sheep"
As a male sheep here is called a ram that means your a " northern ram c*ck " )..... Nice!
( change the * for an o)
The French call us English Ros boeufs. The rest of the world call us hooligans, lager louts, yobs etc
This is because the white linen suit and Panama hat and good manners has been replaced by football shirts, tattoos and drunkenness as our image abroad.
Please contribute with more colourful names for other nations - and don't foreget England, Ireland, N. Ireland, Scotland and Wales!
There are also members from Germany, Finland, The Netherlands, USA, Filliphines etc. here. Can you enlighten us?
It seems AJB is dominated by people from northern Europe and America, traditionally protestant nations. That's a small part of the world, and I hope we'll get even more international.
BTW: In Norway we measure the distance to the neighbour how many throws of a stone their house is from yours. "He lives just two stone's throws from me." )
Please contribute with more colourful names for other nations - and don't foreget England, Ireland, N. Ireland, Scotland and Wales!
There are also members from Germany, Finland, The Netherlands, USA, Filliphines etc. here. Can you enlighten us?
It seems AJB is dominated by people from northern Europe and America, traditionally protestant nations. That's a small part of the world, and I hope we'll get even more international.
BTW: In Norway we measure the distance to the neighbour how many throws of a stone their house is from yours. "He lives just two stone's throws from me." )
We do that here too, " it's just a stones throw away "
Speaks volumes about neighbourhood relations, doesn't it? )
I wonder why there are so few members here from outside Northern Europe and America? For some (the French :v ) it might be a lack of English skills, but there must be lots of Indians and citizens of Hong Kong who speak it very well.
Vladimir Putin, wanting to get on the good side of voters, goes to visit a school in Moscow to have a chat with the kids. He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wants the best for the people.
At the end of the talk, there is a section for questions, Little Alina puts her hand up and says "I have two questions" "Why did the Russians take Crimea? And Why are we sending troops to Ukraine?" Putin says "Good questions" But just as he is about to answer, the bell goes, and the kids go to Lunch.
When they come back, they sit back down and there is room for some more questions, another girl, Tatiana, puts her hand up and says "I have Four questions"
"My Questions are - Why did the Russians invade Crimea? Why are we sending troops to Ukraine? Why did the bell go 20 minutes early? And Where is Alina?"
Stalin's ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help running the country. Stalin says,
"Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue."
"Why blue?" Putin asks.
"Ha!" says Stalin. "I knew you wouldn't ask me about the first part."
The UN did a global poll. The question was: "In your honest opinion, what would be the best solution to the shortage of food in the rest of the world?"
The poll was a fiasco.
-The Africans didn't know what "food" was.
-The Norwegians didn't know what "shortage of" means.
-In Russia they didn't know what "opinion" is.
-In the Middle East they didn't know what a "solution" is.
-In Asia they didn't know what "honest"is
-In the US they didn't know what "the rest of the world" is
Comments
Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
could only say at the correspondents' dinner
Scotland does not want to be part of the progress, like back in the day when pants have been invented
Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
Got any political jokes?
Nicola sturgeon doesn't want to be part of the process, she needs to do her sums, or maybe she has in the same manner she writes important political letters....... Which is why they dont add up?
Jokes, fellas, jokes- not comment, not discussion.
They're not called 'The Jokes on the Hill' for nothing you know!
What do you call people from other nations and what do they call you? (obviously racist words have no place here!)
The Danes call us Norwegians "fjeldabe" The word means "mountain monkey"
We call the Swedes "Søta bror". This is actually Swedish and means "sweet brother". This is more of an affectionate term.
In return the Swedes call us "Norrbagge". "Norr" means North and bagge means (I quote): "the genitals of male sheep"
Enough clowns in there already
As a male sheep here is called a ram that means your a " northern ram c*ck "
( change the * for an o)
The French call us English Ros boeufs. The rest of the world call us hooligans, lager louts, yobs etc
This is because the white linen suit and Panama hat and good manners has been replaced by football shirts, tattoos and drunkenness as our image abroad.
Please contribute with more colourful names for other nations - and don't foreget England, Ireland, N. Ireland, Scotland and Wales!
There are also members from Germany, Finland, The Netherlands, USA, Filliphines etc. here. Can you enlighten us?
It seems AJB is dominated by people from northern Europe and America, traditionally protestant nations. That's a small part of the world, and I hope we'll get even more international.
BTW: In Norway we measure the distance to the neighbour how many throws of a stone their house is from yours. "He lives just two stone's throws from me."
We do that here too, " it's just a stones throw away "
I wonder why there are so few members here from outside Northern Europe and America? For some (the French :v ) it might be a lack of English skills, but there must be lots of Indians and citizens of Hong Kong who speak it very well.
Customs officer: Occupation?
Putin: No, just visiting.
At the end of the talk, there is a section for questions, Little Alina puts her hand up and says "I have two questions" "Why did the Russians take Crimea? And Why are we sending troops to Ukraine?" Putin says "Good questions" But just as he is about to answer, the bell goes, and the kids go to Lunch.
When they come back, they sit back down and there is room for some more questions, another girl, Tatiana, puts her hand up and says "I have Four questions"
"My Questions are - Why did the Russians invade Crimea? Why are we sending troops to Ukraine? Why did the bell go 20 minutes early? And Where is Alina?"
"Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue."
"Why blue?" Putin asks.
"Ha!" says Stalin. "I knew you wouldn't ask me about the first part."
The poll was a fiasco.
-The Africans didn't know what "food" was.
-The Norwegians didn't know what "shortage of" means.
-In Russia they didn't know what "opinion" is.
-In the Middle East they didn't know what a "solution" is.
-In Asia they didn't know what "honest"is
-In the US they didn't know what "the rest of the world" is