In the climate conferance in Bonn, Germany, the US delegation is pushing coal as the solution to climate change. Next they'll probably reveal how increased cocaine production will be key in the war on drugs )
"He's a bit on the young side and we question if he's corrupt enough to hold this position, but we need new blood" says head of the International Olympic Comitee Jacques Barlock (127).
Mugabe has informed the IOC that he'll probably have much more time on his hands in the future and is willing to accept the position.
"It's especially in the areas of dictatorship, lack of introspection and a focus on self interest Mugabe has impressed us." continues Barlock. "In time he will prove a perfect leader of the IOC."
Of course Mugabe will need to be elected to the position first, and the 93 year old has been asked to organize the election personally. "Mugabe has great experience from Zimbabwe in holding elections, and the results speak for them selves," Barack assures us.
(translated from the satire section of the newspaper VG)
In the future there won't be elections as we know them. You just feed your tax returns into a computer and the computer votes contrary to your interests on your behalf )
The KGB, the Gestapo and the FBI are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary General of the the League of Nations decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The FBI people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist. The Gestapo goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming. The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
A frightened man came to the KGB. "My talking parrot has disappeared." "That's not the kind of case we handle. Go to the criminal police." 'Excuse me, of course I know that I must go to them. I am here just to tell you officially that I disagree with the parrot."
An English athlete, a French athlete and a Russian athlete are all on the medal podium at the 1976 Summer Olympics chatting before the medal ceremony. "Don't get me wrong" says the Englishman, "winning a medal is very nice, but I still feel the greatest pleasure in life is getting home after a long day, putting one's feet up and having a nice cup of tea". "You Englishman" snorts the Frenchman, "you have no sense of romance. The greatest pleasure in life is going on holiday without your wife, and meeting a beautiful girl with whom you have a passionate love affair with before returning home back to work". "You are both wrong" scoffs the Russian. "The greatest pleasure in life is when you are sleeping at home and the KGB breaks your door down at 3 AM, bursts into your room and says 'Ivan Ivanovitch, you are under arrest' and you can reply 'Sorry comrade, Ivan Ivanovitch lives next door'".
Comments
Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
Higgy (Big Wall) Trump and ASP (Big Bang) IL
I have probably made a bigger bang in my pants the day after a curry
I think it would start a war if I asked her to do that, she is more ferrel than domesticated
.... and we still suffered from the outfall here in Germany
Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
<<That was weird sh*t>>
Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
"He's a bit on the young side and we question if he's corrupt enough to hold this position, but we need new blood" says head of the International Olympic Comitee Jacques Barlock (127).
Mugabe has informed the IOC that he'll probably have much more time on his hands in the future and is willing to accept the position.
"It's especially in the areas of dictatorship, lack of introspection and a focus on self interest Mugabe has impressed us." continues Barlock. "In time he will prove a perfect leader of the IOC."
Of course Mugabe will need to be elected to the position first, and the 93 year old has been asked to organize the election personally. "Mugabe has great experience from Zimbabwe in holding elections, and the results speak for them selves," Barack assures us.
(translated from the satire section of the newspaper VG)
An English athlete, a French athlete and a Russian athlete are all on the medal podium at the 1976 Summer Olympics chatting before the medal ceremony. "Don't get me wrong" says the Englishman, "winning a medal is very nice, but I still feel the greatest pleasure in life is getting home after a long day, putting one's feet up and having a nice cup of tea". "You Englishman" snorts the Frenchman, "you have no sense of romance. The greatest pleasure in life is going on holiday without your wife, and meeting a beautiful girl with whom you have a passionate love affair with before returning home back to work". "You are both wrong" scoffs the Russian. "The greatest pleasure in life is when you are sleeping at home and the KGB breaks your door down at 3 AM, bursts into your room and says 'Ivan Ivanovitch, you are under arrest' and you can reply 'Sorry comrade, Ivan Ivanovitch lives next door'".