526

Re: Imaginary conversations

Your Sean is far too polite!

527

Re: Imaginary conversations

ajb007/lol  Oh, in that conversation perhaps- elsewhere in this thread he certainly isn't!

528

Re: Imaginary conversations

A police station in Thailand. 1974.


Sergeant: Good evening, sir. It is my sad and solemn duty to inform you that you are henceforth charged with property damage, vehicle theft, speeding, failing to stop at a traffic light, driving the wrong way down the road, otherwise driving in a reckless or careless manner, disturbances of the peace, resisting arrest, and possession of an illegal firearm. Do you have anything to say?
Sherriff J.W Pepper: I shore do, boy! Now your gunna goddamn listen, unnerstand? I happen to be an officer of the Louisiana State Po-leece, and this here’s my identi-ficashun. Now you just git outta here with your phoney charges before I whoop your ass, boy!
Sergeant: Add to the record: “impersonating a police officer”…
Clerk: Yes, sir.
Sheriff J.W. Pepper: Whaddya talking about?
Sergeant: Need I remind you, these are serious charges indeed. Would you like a lawyer to represent you in court, sir?
Sheriff J.W. Pepper: Like hell I would, boy! I am a law enforcement offishur, and I don’t need some yellow-bellied sucker comin’ in with a load of legal baloney!
Sergeant: I really would recommend seeing an attorney, sir. It could help.
Sheriff J.W. Pepper: This here’s the biggest load of baloney I ever saw!  You boys should be thanking us, ya hear!
Sergeant: Oh? Really?  Why’s that?
Sheriff J.W. Pepper: Yore askin’ that? ‘cause we saved yore poor asses from the commies back in ‘Nam, obviously! Shore thing. Now lemme outta this here cell!
Mrs. Pepper: Look on the bright side, J.W. At least we won’t run into that funny Englishman again.
Sherriff J. W. Pepper: I shore hope not!



St. Mark’s Square, Venice. 1979.


Mrs. Pepper: Now ain’t that just the cutest thing! That little pigeon over there just did a darned double-take! Did you see that, J.W.? So cute!
Sherriff J.W. Pepper: It shore was, honey.
Mrs. Pepper: This is great, J.W. So relaxing! And no Englishmen for miles around!
Sherriff J.W. Pepper: You got that right.

529

Re: Imaginary conversations

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol   The thought of JW & wife in St Mark's Square...  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol

530

Re: Imaginary conversations

Barbel wrote:
Barbel wrote:
Westward_Drift wrote:

I somehow feel the same conversation was had about YOLT and TSWLM and again with Moonraker.  ajb007/lol

Might do that next! (Unless someone beats me to it)



1977. (Eon HQ, orbiting Earth.)

Cubby: Well, I’d like to welcome back Lewis Gilbert to the Bond team. It’s been, what ten years since you directed “You Only Live Twice”?
Lewis: Yes, that’s right, Cubby.
Cubby: Let me introduce you to my right hand man, my stepson Michael G. Wilson.
Lewis: Hello, Michael.
MGW: Hello, Lewis.
Cubby: And our writers, Dick Maibaum and Christopher Wood.
Dick/Christopher: Hello.
Lewis: Hello there.
Cubby: Any thoughts, Lewis?
Lewis: Well, my first thought is that I’d like to not just do “You Only Live Twice” all over again.
Cubby: Dick and Christopher, what have you got?
Dick: We’re thinking that the villain is trying to cause war between East and West by stealing crafts belonging to them.
Christopher: Yes, using a vessel which opens up to swallow them.
Dick: In fact, that’s how we’re going to open the movie.
Christopher: Then we meet Bond, who is of course in bed with a beautiful woman-
Dick: - who’s part of a plot to kill him-
Christopher: - which of course he survives-
Dick: - then he gets his mission briefing-
Christopher: - and off he goes to an exotic location he’s not been to before-
Dick: -where he meets a series of contacts.
Christopher: Bond, while using a false name, gets to meet a villain and his glamorous secretary. After the meeting, the villain says “kill him”.
Christopher: After which the bad guys obviously try to kill him-
Dick: - and we have a car chase, with Bond and his lady in a white sports car being chased by the bad guys in a black car, trying to shoot them.
Christopher: Don’t forget the helicopter, Dick.
Dick: Oh yeah, there’s a helicopter too.
Christopher: The villain kills a sexy lady working for him by making her fall into a pool containing-
Dick: - some sort of dangerous fish. We’ll deal with that later.
Christopher: Oh, and the villain has a big strong henchman that Bond fights near the climax-
Dick: - who also ends up in the pool.
Christopher: Bond and the main lady get into the villain’s base, which must be really spectacular.
Cubby: Ken Adam?
Dick: Oh yes, it has to be Ken. Really huge base with the stolen craft-
Christopher: - and a control room separated from the main part-
Everybody: (All together.) And a monorail!
Dick: Bond frees the imprisoned crews from the captured craft-
Christopher: - and we have a gigantic pitched battle. Guns, grenades, you name it-
Dick: - with Bond having to get into the “impregnable” control room-
Christopher: - where just in time he destroys the villain’s craft, before WW3 is caused.
Dick: And we finish with Bond and the leading lady in a small boat, just about to make out-
Christopher: -before being interrupted by M & co.
Lewis: So, not like “You Only Live Twice” at all, then.
Dick/Christopher: No, not at all.


(Let me know which ones I missed. And yes, I know that Wood and Maibaum worked separately not together)

Hopefully you'll repeat thise jokes later  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol

531

Re: Imaginary conversations

Number24 wrote:

Hopefully you'll repeat thise jokes later  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol


Wouldn't dream of it, N24....


1979. (Eon HQ, hidden under guano on a Caribbean island.)
Cubby: Well, Lewis, I think we can all agree that “The Spy Who Loved Me” was a great success and you did a wonderful job as director.
Lewis Gilbert: Thanks, Cubby.
Cubby: So, obviously we’d like to ask you back to direct the next one, “Moonraker”.
Lewis: I’d be delighted.
Cubby: Any thoughts, Lewis?
Lewis: Well, my first thought is that I’d like to not just do “The Spy Who Loved Me” all over again.
Cubby: Christopher, what have you got?
Christopher Wood: I’m thinking that the villain is going to steal a vessel belonging to the West.
MGW: Is that how we’re going to open the movie?
Christopher: Yes, then we meet Bond, who is of course with a beautiful woman-
Cubby: Is she part of a plot to kill him?
Christopher: Why, yes. Of course he survives, falling from a great height but saved by a parachute. Soon we meet the villain, who’s a billionaire businessman. Early on, he uses vicious animals to kill off a beautiful female employee.
Cubby: Ah, but does he try to kill Bond?
Christopher: Naturally, he has henchmen who try to do just that. One of them is Jaws, who always fails to kill James and survives certain death while doing so.
MGW: What about a car chase that ends up in the water when the car becomes a submarine?
Christopher: No, no, we have something completely different here- a boat chase that ends up on land when the boat becomes a hovercraft.
Lewis: And what is the villain’s plan?
Christopher: He wants to wipe out all life on Earth and then start again according to his ideals.
Lewis: I see.
Christopher: Bond and the main lady get into the villain’s base, which must be really spectacular.
Cubby: Ken Adam?
Christopher: Oh yes, it has to be Ken. Really huge base with all sorts of gadgets-
Cubby/MGW/Lewis: (All together.) And a monorail!
Christopher: ….ah, no. No monorail.
MGW: Oh, dear. Ken will be disappointed.
Christopher: James arranges for help and we have a gigantic pitched battle. Just in time he destroys the villain’s craft, before disaster is caused. And we finish with Bond and the leading lady making out before being interrupted by M & co.
Lewis: So, not like “The Spy Who Loved Me” at all, then?
Christopher: No, not at all.


(I feel sure I've missed some points, by all means let me know below!)

532

Re: Imaginary conversations

https://images.gr-assets.com/hostedimages/1380393191ra/756938.gif

533

Re: Imaginary conversations

A Psychiatrists treatment room the Dr sits across from a nervous patient ........

Dr : Please this is a place of safety, feel free to tell your story in your own words.
Victor : Thank you Doctor, this has been troubling me for a long time.
Dr : Just start at the beginning.
Victor : It began really when my uncle Mario asked me to help him build his dream house.
Dr : This was in Sardinia, yes ?
Victor : Yes, he'd moved back to his homeland to follow his dream of teaching conversational
           Papier-mâché to the street kids, and I'd offered to help him tile his bathroom......
Dr : Continue.
Victor : Well I was heading to the beach, I was to meet my girlfriend Janeen later, when he called.
( The Doctor nodded his head )
Victor : He said he'd finished the roof and was sitting outside drinking a glass of wine when a beautiful
           white sports car zoomed past, he'd barely registered it when BOOM !!!  A bloody big car just
           dropped out of the sky and crashed straight through his new roof !!!
Dr : He was  shocked ?
Victor : He was F*cking angry, started yelling out the lyrics to Mamma Mia, and was so annoyed  he was
             getting them wrong. Then the door opens and apparently this huge bloke in a blue jacket
           walked out giving Uncle Mario a brief nod and walked off. Naturally Uncle Mario told me not to
            bother coming round to do the tiling, as he now had a 1977 Ford Cortina parked in his living
           room.
Dr :  I can understand his anger.
Victor : Absolutely, totally threw off the Feng shui !! So I got ready at the beach, I had a lovely bottle
          of wine, took a quick swig from it, then took out some of the sandwiches I'd bought. Various
          kinds of meat fillings I was expecting, but not my favourite.
Dr : You mentioned this before ( Looking at his notes ) ... You were expecting some tongue ?
Victor : Sure, later when Janeen got back I'd fully expect to get some...
Dr : Where was Janeen at this point ?
Victor : She'd gone on a trip to some German guy's Bathyscope she said seeing something that size
          rising, reminded her of me.
Dr : Phallic symbol ?
Victor : No, Stromberg I think.  At this point, I took another little swig from my wine and noticed something
           white moving in the water, at first I thought it might be a shark, a barracuda or a Sainsbury trolley.
Dr : What happened next  ?
Victor : I took another little drink, and it turns out it's a white sports car driving out of the sea !! The guy
            driving even dropped a fish out of the window before driving off. I wouldn't be surprised if it was the
             same guy who drove past Uncle Mario's house.
Dr : I can see how that could have affected you.
Victor : Later in St Marks Square, I had found a great little table and was enjoying a lovely bottle of wine. As
        usual Janeen was off on her adventures, taking in a tour of a local glass blowing establishment . I told
        her why bother, no-one knows more about "Blowing " than her ! I even watched a group of Altar Boys
        in full smock things go in to the church.
Dr : Cassocks ?
Victor : No it's true, then as I took another little drink, up pops this gondola stroke hovercraft thing, driven
            by this same guy!! He took off across the square, and when Janeen got back she wouldn't believe
            me. ......... Gave me Hell for that. So next time I decided to get away from water, get high.
Dr : No Victor, drugs are never the answer.
Victor : No, high in the mountains  get in a bit of skiing , So I found this lovely hillside restaurant, part of
           it in  Stainless Steel and started drinking from a lovely bottle of wine. Janeen was off watching a
            Bi-Polar or biathlon event, either way she was either very happy or sad about it. As I looked out
            at the wonderful vista before me I thought of the great car to use the name
Dr :  The Cortina ?
Victor : No Allegro !  ..... Next thing Bang, a bloody great pair of skis lands on the table sending  everthing
          all over the place crashing through the edge balustrade followed by a pair of motorbikes.
Dr : Shocking !
Victor : But, it was the same bloody guy again!!!  Why is he following me? Why is he making my life hell ?
Dr : Victor have you ever thought, perhaps he's just a figment of your imagination ? Fuelled by all that wine ?
Victor : It was all so real, so life like
Dr : Why not take a break, rest up, find yourself again  take a holiday ?
Victor : Well Janeen has suggested a trip next year, sounds to be uneventful.
Dr : What is it ?
Victor : A boat tour along the rivers of India
Dr : That sounds wonderful, I'm sure it will do you the world of good.
Victor : Yes, I think 1983 will be a great year for me.

“God has given you one face, and you make yourself another"

534

Re: Imaginary conversations

This is the guy they should make a spin-off about!  ajb007/bond

535

Re: Imaginary conversations

I trust Victor's boat trip in India went well, as long as he didn't take the economy tour.

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  TP!

536

Re: Imaginary conversations

2020, the present day.

Somewhere in LA, a phone rings.
MGW: Dan?
Daniel: Hey Michael, how goes it?
MGW: Dan, where are you?
Daniel: Umm...
MGW: Dan, are you in LA?
Daniel: Ok, yes, yes I am.
MGW: Dan, WTF?
Daniel: Michael, look, the film's release has been delayed, again, I just thought it would be, ah, helpful if I did a little extra publicity stunt here and there. Keep the interest going until April.
MGW: Dan, where did you get it? Have you been raiding Donk's modest collection? (Pauses) Babs is going to go chicken oriental, I think that's what you Brits call it, when she hears about this. (Pauses again) Did Rachel put you up to this again?
Daniel: C'mon Mikey, you're happy for me to reference Sean through the DB5, the suits, the whole Blofeld thing... what's wrong with me borrowing the odd prop from the old days here or there too?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-54552380

ajb007/biggrin

"How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."

537

Re: Imaginary conversations

ajb007/lol ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol
Thanks, that made my day!

538

Re: Imaginary conversations

(While based on truth, the following is highly fictionalised.)

1963. (MGM studios.)
Norman Felton: Good to see you, Ian, glad you could make it.
Ian Fleming; I’m glad to be here.
Norman: Can I get you anything? Cup of coffee, perhaps?
Ian: What? Oh yes, this is our first meeting. Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?
Norman: Er… just give me a minute, will you…?
(Fleming watches carefully as the deep glass becomes frosted with the pale golden drink, slightly aerated by the bruising of the shaker. He reaches for it and takes a long sip.)
Ian: Excellent, but if you can get a vodka made with grain instead of potatoes, you will find it still better.
Norman: Er… yes.
Ian: Now, what can I do for you?
Norman: We’re keen to launch a new action/adventure TV series and would very much like to involve you in setting it up.
Ian: Hmm, I’ve done this sort of thing before. I started writing a series called “Commander Jamaica” but it never made it to air. I’m not sure I want to go through that again.
Norman: This one will make it to air, I promise. What are your first thoughts?
Ian: Well, I see a series of adventures involving a dashing, handsome, saturnine secret agent. He’s always well dressed and goes around the world, seducing beautiful women, defeating evil villains and using a bunch of amazing gadgets.
Norman: That’s a great idea! Sounds like a winner to me!
Ian: He works for an undercover organisation and keeps coming up against agents of a similar but evil organisation, identified by an acronym.
Norman: Wonderful! Doesn’t sound at all like anything anyone would already know. Now, what about a name for this guy?
Ian: How about “Napoleon Solo”?
Norman: That works for me. I can see it now… “Ian Fleming’s SOLO”. We have to have a name for a leading lady as well, of course.
Ian: No problem- “April Dancer”.
Norman: Fantastic! Well, I think-
(The door suddenly opens, and Cubby Broccoli & Harry Saltzman burst in.)
Cubby: Just one moment!
Ian: (Startled.) Why, hello Harry, hello Cubby.
Harry: Don’t you say one more word, Ian!
Norman: Guys, you can’t just-
Cubby: Like hell we can’t! Harry, get him out of here!
(Harry, aided by Terence Young, takes Ian by the arms and they lead him out.)
Norman: Listen, Broccoli, we were having a private meeting here and you-
Cubby: I know exactly what you were doing. You were wanting to piggyback on our James Bond film series by doing a TV ripoff, and getting our author to put his seal of approval on it.
Norman: No, that’s not-
Cubby: And you can forget about calling it “Ian Fleming’s SOLO” as well! We’re getting ready to film “Goldfinger” and there’s already a character called Solo in that.
Norman: That character is a mafioso, not a globetrotting secret agent.
Cubby: You are not using that title. In fact, I’m going out that door and making sure Ian doesn’t put his name on this at all.
Norman: All right, all right, you win. I cry uncle.
Cubby: Uncle?
Norman: Or perhaps U.N.C.L.E.
Cubby: Ok, that you can use.

539

Re: Imaginary conversations

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol

And in yet another weird coincidence I've also been thinking about exactly such an imaginary conversation - Fleming's involvement in the UNCLE project, even down to the description of Solo as a saturnine character, much like Bond.  ajb007/amazed

"How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."

540

Re: Imaginary conversations

Here we go again....  ajb007/amazed

Edit- I'm going to pinch your word "saturnine" and put it in.

541

Re: Imaginary conversations

Deleted scene

Norman: Acronym? What do you mean?
Ian: Well, "S.P.E.C.T..R.E." stands for "The Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terror, Revenge and Extortion" so I thought that here our man would keep coming up against an organisation called "T.H.R.U.S.H." meaning "The Technological Hierarchy for the Removal of Undesirables and the Subjection of Humanity".
Norman: Perhaps we'd better skip that.

542

Re: Imaginary conversations

1967. (A house in Edinburgh.)

Mrs McTarry: My, Neil, that’s a fine job you’ve done.
Neil: Thanksh, Mrsh McTarry, it’sh been a pleashure.
Mrs McTarry: You’re the best plasterer in the town.
Neil: Very kind of you to shay sho.
Mrs McTarry: Here’s some money for you. Oh, if only my husband had been alive to see this.
Neil: Well, I’d besht be on my way. Thanksh again, Mrsh McTarry.
Mrs McTarry: Oh, call me Fiona. Why don't you stay a while?
Neil: Er, got to go. Thingsh to shee, people to do.
(He heads outside where two men are waiting.)
1st Man: (Whispers.) It’s true! He looks just like him!
Neil: Anything I can do for you?
2nd Man: (Heavy Italian accent.) Could I have a word with you, please?
Neil: Don’t shee why not.
1st Man: (Whispers.) And sounds like him, too.
2nd Man: My name is Dario Sabatello, I’d like to offer you a job.
Neil: That would be great, though I think you should know that I got fired from my lasht job for loshing my tools. Thish wash only a favour.
Dario: Oh, I know about that. A man called Terence Young told me all about it.
Neil: Don’t think I know him.
Dario: He heard it on the radio. I take it you could be free immediately?
Neil: That dependsh. Where’sh the job?
Dario: In Italy.
Neil: Italy? You came all the way here to look for a plashterer for a job in Italy?
Dario: No, no. Not plastering. Please, let me explain….

543

Re: Imaginary conversations

1989. (Glidrose Publications.)

Publisher: Ah, come in John, come in. How are you?
Gardner: Oh fine, thanks.
Publisher: Vodka martini, shaken not stirred?
Gardner: Not for me, thanks, not at 9.30 in the morning. Just a cup of tea will do.
Publisher: Of course.
Gardner: So, what can I do for you? I’m in the middle of writing my ninth Bond book for you, and I’ve already signed up for three more.
Publisher: It’s something a bit different this time, John. We’ve been contacted by Eon Productions. They’d like you to have a look at the screenplay for their latest movie with a view to novelising it.
Gardner; Write a book based on their film?
Publisher: Yes, they’ve used all of Fleming’s book titles and a couple of the short stories. The titles of the short stories that are left are, shall we say, problematic.
Gardner: Ah, I see. I mean, “Quantum Of Solace”, who would ever want to use that as a film title!
Publisher: Indeed.
Gardner: Not to mention making a song for it!
Publisher: Yes, I’m sure the song would be terrible.
Gardner: There’s “The Hildebrand Rarity”, but that doesn’t trip off the tongue either.
Publisher: And “007 In New York” is right out.
Gardner: So, what’s the title then?
Publisher: Well, they were thinking of “Licence Revoked” at first-
Gardner: That’s very close to my first Bond title, “Licence Renewed”.
Publisher: True, but then they changed it to “Licence To Kill”.
Gardner: Hmm, a bit generic.
Publisher: That’s what they’re going for.
Gardner: Well, at last I could use the character of Q and stop having to call him Major Boothroyd all the time so I’d be pleased about that.
Publisher: So, are you interested?
Gardner: I’m not keen, having already had truck with screenplays before. On the bare white page, all screenplays are like lyrics without music, or, as my old father used to say, like kissing your sister.
Publisher: This would be an extra commission, over and above your ongoing series of Bond books.
Gardner: All right, Bond prevails.
Publisher: Good, I had hoped you’d agree. Now, the screenplay does use some Fleming in it. In particular, it uses a part of “Live And Let Die” that wasn’t included in the film. Bond’s friend, Felix Leiter, is fed to a shark by the bad guys and Bond finds what’s left of him with a note saying “He disagreed with something that ate him”. Bond goes after the one who was responsible and feeds him to the shark.
Gardner: Wait a minute… you said what’s left of Felix?
Publisher: Yes, the shark chews off his left leg.
Gardner: But that already happened in the book “Live And Let Die”!
Publisher: But not in the film.
Gardner: He’s gone through the books with no left leg ever since. Am I supposed to have him magically regrow it at the start of this one so he can have it chewed off again?
Publisher: It was only half his left leg.
Gardner: That doesn't help much.
Publisher: You’re the writer, John, not me. It’s your job to find a way round that.
Gardner: Gee, thanks. Anything else I should be aware of?
Publisher: Well, since you mentioned “The Hildebrand Rarity”….
Gardner: Yes, what?
Publisher: The villain from that story is included in “Licence To Kill”.
Gardner: You mean Milton Krest is the villain here?
Publisher: He’s A villain, not THE villain, but yes he’s here.
(Gardner groans.)
Publisher: And his boat, the Wavekrest as well.
Gardner: Anything else?
Publisher: No, I think that’s it. The story starts off with Felix’s wedding, and-
Gardner: You do know that I mentioned Felix being married elsewhere, don’t you?
Publisher: Well, like his leg, that’ll just give you something to chew on.



(Some of this uses Gardner's own words from his foreword to LTK)

544

Re: Imaginary conversations

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  I'm sure Mr Gardner enjoyed a challenge all the way to the bank  ajb007/biggrin

Fantastic conversations as usual, Barbel  ajb007/cheers

"How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."

545

Re: Imaginary conversations

Thanks!  ajb007/smile

As you know, C&D, we have something ..er...interesting in the works, which I'm enjoying and am looking forward to posting!
It'll be a while, of course.

546

Re: Imaginary conversations

Great fun as usual, Barbel  ajb007/lol

547

Re: Imaginary conversations

Glad you liked it, N24.

548

Re: Imaginary conversations

1969. (Eon HQ, inside a harmless-looking factory in Switzerland. “Herschel-Albert Enterprises AG” is on the sign.)

Harry: So, Peter, you’ve worked for us before and now we’d like to know your thoughts for our next James Bond movie, which you’re going to direct.
Peter Hunt: Well, we’re going to introduce a new, younger, Bond and I think we should take this opportunity to shake things up a bit.
Cubby: What sort of things?
Peter: Your last film was borderline science-fiction with several hard-to-believe sequences and plot points. I want to move away from all that. As few gadgets as possible, for example.
Cubby: No scene where Q hands out the gadgets which Bond will later use to escape from improbable situations?
Peter: No, none of that. And no super strong, apparently unbeatable henchman who Bond defeats towards the end.
Cubby: (Disappointed.) Oh.
Harry: But the last film was enormously successful.
Peter: And if you keep repeating that you’re going to hit the law of diminishing returns. I want to make this a more-or-less believable story, take things back down to Earth. Your last film had almost no Fleming content- this one should be pretty close to the book.
Cubby: But the book has a tragic ending.
Peter: Usually James has a flirtatious relationship with the leading lady. I want him to have a serious, human, romantic relationship with her.
Harry: Normally we end with her saying “Oh, James” as the credits start to roll.
Peter: Exactly, so when she dies it will have a huge impact on the audience.
Cubby: I don’t know…
Harry: I say go for it, what have we got to lose!




2006. (Eon HQ, on an island in India populated exclusively by women. Well, almost exclusively.)

MGW: So, Martin, you’ve worked for us before and now we’d like to know your thoughts for our next James Bond movie, which you’re going to direct.
Martin Campbell: Well, we’re going to introduce a new, younger, Bond and I think we should take this opportunity to shake things up a bit.
BB: What sort of things?
Martin: Your last film was borderline science-fiction with several hard-to-believe sequences and plot points. I want to move away from all that. As few gadgets as possible, for example.
MGW: No scene where Q hands out the gadgets which Bond will later use to escape from improbable situations?
Martin: No, none of that. And no super strong, apparently unbeatable henchman who Bond defeats towards the end.
BB: (Disappointed.) Oh.
MGW: But the last film was enormously successful.
Martin: And if you keep repeating that you’re going to hit the law of diminishing returns. I want to make this a more-or-less believable story, take things back down to Earth. Your last film had almost no Fleming content- this one should be pretty close to the book.
BB: But the book has a tragic ending.
Martin: Usually James has a flirtatious relationship with the leading lady. I want him to have a serious, human, romantic relationship with her.
MGW: Normally we end with her saying “Oh, James” as the credits start to roll.
Martin: Exactly, so when she dies it will have a huge impact on the audience.
BB: I don’t know…
MGW: I say go for it, what have we got to lose!

549

Re: Imaginary conversations

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  I hadn't thought of the parallels between those two before....

"How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."

550

Re: Imaginary conversations

And I probably missed a few, too. (If anyone can think of some I've missed, please post below. Only too happy to add more.)