The Rant Box

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  • thesecretagentthesecretagent CornwallPosts: 2,151MI6 Agent
    When we had our fist child we thought we'd get the full sky package, no channel barred - as we would be in a hell of a lot more. I later upgraded to HD plus. Every night is the same story, endless channels and we're watching fifteen year old comedy shows and the odd new release. Nothing to watch night after night! Theres just endless reality shows about truckers, bounty hunters, fishermen, tat traders, chefs and mainly idiots from the American south. Extreme car booters is probably the next show! :#
    Amazon #1 Bestselling Author. If you enjoy crime, espionage, action and fast-moving thrillers follow this link:

    http://apbateman.com
  • minigeffminigeff EnglandPosts: 7,884MI6 Agent
    I'm gonna throw an idea at BshiteB;

    Extreme oral plumbonium entrapment.

    The ideal is simple, get a load of 'celebrities' from various reality shows, contest shows etc etc, line them up and have them see who can catch a .38 in their teeth.

    I'd pay good money for it, who's with me?
    'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
    Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
    www.helpforheroes.org.uk
    www.cancerresearchuk.org
  • JamesbondjrJamesbondjr Posts: 462MI6 Agent
    minigeff wrote:
    I'm gonna throw an idea at BshiteB;

    Extreme oral plumbonium entrapment.

    The ideal is simple, get a load of 'celebrities' from various reality shows, contest shows etc etc, line them up and have them see who can catch a .38 in their teeth.

    I'd pay good money for it, who's with me?


    I'd certainly feel I was getting my money's worth if this were to become a reality show. :)
    1- On Her Majesty's Secret Service 2- Casino Royale 3- Licence To Kill 4- Goldeneye 5- From Russia With Love
  • thesecretagentthesecretagent CornwallPosts: 2,151MI6 Agent
    I'd certainly like to see useless, pointless "celebrities" in some sort of bloodbath scenario! Maybe something like Celebrity Head Swap...
    Amazon #1 Bestselling Author. If you enjoy crime, espionage, action and fast-moving thrillers follow this link:

    http://apbateman.com
  • minigeffminigeff EnglandPosts: 7,884MI6 Agent
    Today's rant;

    'safe' places.

    My old nan, god bless her, used to have this habit of keeping all the important stuff in safe places around the house. 'they'll never find it there!' I think was the train of thought. However when the bills needed paying, getting nan to remember where the important stuff was, was a somewhat testing and time consuming excersise. It was like a bad episode of challenge annika.

    Anyways, many years on and it seems I've inherited nan's david copperfield like ability to make things literally disappear.

    If anyone knows where I've put the last 3 gravestone bases, please let me know, I've looked everywhere and I'm so pissed off I'm contemplating watching NSNA, yep it's got that bad.

    MG -{
    'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
    Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
    www.helpforheroes.org.uk
    www.cancerresearchuk.org
  • danjaq_0ffdanjaq_0ff The SwampsPosts: 7,283MI6 Agent
    The same place you put my door opener maybe ? :D
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,618MI6 Agent
    .... and my MR camera :v
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • MANDY1MANDY1 TISPosts: 2,608MI6 Agent
    I knew that bloody MR camera was coming ... :))
    Knowing who to trust is Everything in this business.

    TIS - "The moment you think you got it figured - you're wrong"

    Formerly known as Teppo
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,618MI6 Agent
    :D I am happy that you are happy, bruv {[]
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • danjaq_0ffdanjaq_0ff The SwampsPosts: 7,283MI6 Agent
    This is a rant box not a happy box :D
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,618MI6 Agent
    Yes, Sir!
    Sorry Sir!
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • Napoleon PluralNapoleon Plural LondonPosts: 10,238MI6 Agent
    The automated checkout in Boots.

    You have to scan your own items, okay, can do that, but there's this awful snotty female voice telling you what to do, it gets my goat. Then, when it can't scan some discounted food item, it asks you wait for assistance, while you feel like a criminal. It has the same awful phrasing each time, just drives me nuts. Berates you for not putting an item where it should be, or do you need a plastic bag? Yes love, to put over your head.

    Ditto with the bus service around London, announcing every stop. Okay on a night bus, or if someone blind requests it, but not all the time. It just grates.
    "This is where we leave you Mr Bond."

    Roger Moore 1927-2017
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,618MI6 Agent
    You should hear my wife's voice Nap, then you'll never complain about Boots anymore :D
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • thesecretagentthesecretagent CornwallPosts: 2,151MI6 Agent
    Car park spaces. They need to be bigger. Cars get bigger every time a new model comes out. Just look at the VW Golf, BMW 3 series, Mini - everything in fact. These everyday cars are a third bigger than they were twenty or so years ago. Plus everyone seems to have a 4x4, a people carrier, estate or with VAT at 20% double cab pick- up trucks are everywhere! They're twenty feet long! And seven feet wide! Even my wife's modern mini has a wheel almost on both white lines in most car parks. You pay a lot of money and just know your car is going to get dented, or that you'll never fold yourself in half enough to get back in!
    Amazon #1 Bestselling Author. If you enjoy crime, espionage, action and fast-moving thrillers follow this link:

    http://apbateman.com
  • minigeffminigeff EnglandPosts: 7,884MI6 Agent
    Today's rant;

    Idiots.

    Rather generic, but here it goes.

    Just looked through the news and 2 stories came to view, 1 about a pub not serving anyone in uniform and another about a guy charged with threatening to blow up robin hood airport.

    First the pub. Put simply, a soldier's funeral is being held and during rehearsals the squaddies who are pall bearers (one of which is the brother of the deceased) go into a nearby pub to have a break and a light drink to settle nerves. They're refused service cos they're all in fatigues.

    Then the airport. Some clown gets let down by robin hood airport and spouts on twitter that if they "don't sort their **** out" they will "blow the place sky high".

    Really people, in this day and age does no one have any common sense at all?!

    The lads are grieving, should I a) offer a free round? B) give them a quiet area of the pub or c) bar them?

    The airport pissed me off, in this day and age if terrorism, what's the best idea? I know! I'll threaten to blow it up!

    Seriously?! How the hell do these people manage to get by in life? Do they go through life being complete knobs totally unaware if their daft action, or have they go a few wires loose resulting in them thinking there's nothing wrong with threatening to blow people up?

    Honestly I've no idea how or why these people survive.

    The guy twittering about the airport should be fined as a deterrent to others and the barman in the pub needs to publicly apologise and the bar change it's policy.
    'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
    Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
    www.helpforheroes.org.uk
    www.cancerresearchuk.org
  • GrindelwaldGrindelwald Posts: 1,294MI6 Agent
    It's horrible when TSA have to pat down a crying kid X-(
  • Napoleon PluralNapoleon Plural LondonPosts: 10,238MI6 Agent
    Okay minigeff but the soldiers being barred is a wind-up story probably; the person who refused them wouldn't have known the circumstances, ie it's a funeral, I doubt they'd have informed her. It's the kind of story to get your blood boiling, that's the story papers like.

    I agree about the tweet about blowing the airport up.
    "This is where we leave you Mr Bond."

    Roger Moore 1927-2017
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    Don't know if I'm getting old But.
    I think the title for the latest Horror Film
    "Chernobyl Diaries "
    Is in very Bad taste, I know several people who do great work for
    various charities connected with the disaster, and they don't like
    it either.
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • LexiLexi LondonPosts: 3,000MI6 Agent
    BBC HD only showing short amounts of Wimbledon.... and instead, just when it's getting interesting 'Raiders of the lost arc'.... are you kidding me ?:)

    I pay extra for HD.... and I can't believe that the BBC decide to show a movie from 1981 - when one of the few sporting events I like is on.... Grrrrrrr.
    She's worth whatever chaos she brings to the table and you know it. ~ Mark Anthony
  • Mr MartiniMr Martini That nice house in the sky.Posts: 2,698MI6 Agent
    I got mad at a little kid the other day. Walking around a mall and this kid came out of a store riding her Razor scooter. We came closing to colliding. I told her to watch it then went on to tell her she shouldn't be riding that thing indoors. Did I over react? Or was I well within my right to tell her what I did. I didn't yell at her, but she could tell I was a little bit upset.
    Some people would complain even if you hang them with a new rope
  • thesecretagentthesecretagent CornwallPosts: 2,151MI6 Agent
    Those flyers people put under your windscreen wipers. We have more than a few issues. The first being - let me see you actually touching my car and I WILL break some of your bones. The second thing, is the flyer in question was put on before it rained. And then it dried out in the sporadic sun. Now I have paper mâché on my windscreen. And after its been cleared away, I have the entire advert imprinted on the glass in ink.
    Amazon #1 Bestselling Author. If you enjoy crime, espionage, action and fast-moving thrillers follow this link:

    http://apbateman.com
  • Mr MartiniMr Martini That nice house in the sky.Posts: 2,698MI6 Agent
    Those flyers people put under your windscreen wipers. We have more than a few issues. The first being - let me see you actually touching my car and I WILL break some of your bones. The second thing, is the flyer in question was put on before it rained. And then it dried out in the sporadic sun. Now I have paper mâché on my windscreen. And after its been cleared away, I have the entire advert imprinted on the glass in ink.


    A very interesting thing I learned about the above practice. Not sure if it's true everywhere, but around me it's actually illegal to put flyers under the windshield. I found this out while getting a haircut from my barber. She had just opened her new shop and her son was putting flyers on cars. A cop told her not have her son put the flyers under the wipers on a windshield. It had something to do with obstructing the view for the driver. If the driver was involved in an accident and the flyer was under the wiper blade, the driver could sue the owner of company the flyer belongs to and claim it was obstructing their view. Or something like that. The cop suggested putting one the side window with a piece of tape.
    Some people would complain even if you hang them with a new rope
  • minigeffminigeff EnglandPosts: 7,884MI6 Agent
    Lexi wrote:
    BBC HD only showing short amounts of Wimbledon.... and instead, just when it's getting interesting 'Raiders of the lost arc'.... are you kidding me ?:)

    I pay extra for HD.... and I can't believe that the BBC decide to show a movie from 1981 - when one of the few sporting events I like is on.... Grrrrrrr.

    Ya only saying that cos the HD allows ya to see the ballboy's set of balls better. Now there's an alliterational mouthful!
    'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
    Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
    www.helpforheroes.org.uk
    www.cancerresearchuk.org
  • Lady RoseLady Rose London,UKPosts: 2,667MI6 Agent
    minigeff wrote:
    Lexi wrote:
    BBC HD only showing short amounts of Wimbledon.... and instead, just when it's getting interesting 'Raiders of the lost arc'.... are you kidding me ?:)

    I pay extra for HD.... and I can't believe that the BBC decide to show a movie from 1981 - when one of the few sporting events I like is on.... Grrrrrrr.

    Ya only saying that cos the HD allows ya to see the ballboy's set of balls better. Now there's an alliterational mouthful!

    Although Andy Murrays keep falling out of his pocket :p
  • minigeffminigeff EnglandPosts: 7,884MI6 Agent
    Lady Rose wrote:
    minigeff wrote:
    Lexi wrote:
    BBC HD only showing short amounts of Wimbledon.... and instead, just when it's getting interesting 'Raiders of the lost arc'.... are you kidding me ?:)

    I pay extra for HD.... and I can't believe that the BBC decide to show a movie from 1981 - when one of the few sporting events I like is on.... Grrrrrrr.

    Ya only saying that cos the HD allows ya to see the ballboy's set of balls better. Now there's an alliterational mouthful!

    Although Andy Murrays keep falling out of his pocket :p

    Is it safe to conclude then that at times, Andy Murray has no balls?
    'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
    Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
    www.helpforheroes.org.uk
    www.cancerresearchuk.org
  • thesecretagentthesecretagent CornwallPosts: 2,151MI6 Agent
    Telephone calls that are answerphone messages for compensation, PPI claims or other slimy companies touting their services. These used up my phone's memory, then when my son was sick at nursary today, they couldn't leave a message and I was oblivious to the situation. Just came home, deleted all the crap and started doing paperwork... X-(
    Amazon #1 Bestselling Author. If you enjoy crime, espionage, action and fast-moving thrillers follow this link:

    http://apbateman.com
  • Lady RoseLady Rose London,UKPosts: 2,667MI6 Agent
    minigeff wrote:
    Lady Rose wrote:
    minigeff wrote:

    Ya only saying that cos the HD allows ya to see the ballboy's set of balls better. Now there's an alliterational mouthful!

    Although Andy Murrays keep falling out of his pocket :p

    Is it safe to conclude then that at times, Andy Murray has no balls?

    Until he wins a Grand Slam ... YES !!!

    As for my rant ... Bin Men

    Do they do a special course that not only shows them how to block the whole road regardless of the space around them but that also teaches them to leave you bin right in the iddle of the driveway !!!!! X-(
  • minigeffminigeff EnglandPosts: 7,884MI6 Agent
    Today's rant;

    'TheRPF.com'

    I decided the other day to join up to the rpf in order to meet new mates, see what was going etc etc. What I didn't realise is that new members have to have their hands held at all times, with every post being checked by a member of the admin team. This also seems to apply to private messages.

    I've pm'd the admin team, but nothing, nada, zip, zilch, sweet bugger all.

    The worst bit is that I have to make 20 posts and wait 45 days before getting upgraded to the level of membership where you're free to go play without ya minder holding the reigns. So I'm to wait 45 days plus when I decide to post (which might not be every day) I have to wait around 24hrs to get my posts checked out. Oh and my second post never made it, and I never was told why.

    So at the moment, I can't post, I can't send pm's, I can't buy anything cos by the time my communications get checked, the stuff has sold, I can't sell anything as a noob, and no one answers my emails to the admin.

    RPF, you suck.
    'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
    Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
    www.helpforheroes.org.uk
    www.cancerresearchuk.org
  • danjaq_0ffdanjaq_0ff The SwampsPosts: 7,283MI6 Agent
    I had dodgy prawns last night, nuff said :#
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,618MI6 Agent
    ...and back to the loo :D
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
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