151

Re: Monica Bellucci

caractacus potts wrote:

...Bond25 may begin with Bond waking up in Bellucci's bed, hyperventilating and panicky, and she wakes up and says "did you have a bad dream?" and he says "yes" and then that's it, the nightmare is over and we can safely move onto a proper Bond adventure!

Barbel wrote:

https://s7.postimg.cc/ua3oup43r/AA_OLD_MAN_3.jpg

well Dallas, sure that's a bad example...
but Bob Newhart made it work!

152

Re: Monica Bellucci

caractacus potts wrote:
caractacus potts wrote:

...Bond25 may begin with Bond waking up in Bellucci's bed, hyperventilating and panicky, and she wakes up and says "did you have a bad dream?" and he says "yes" and then that's it, the nightmare is over and we can safely move onto a proper Bond adventure!

Barbel wrote:

https://s7.postimg.cc/ua3oup43r/AA_OLD_MAN_3.jpg

well Dallas, sure that's a bad example...
but Bob Newhart made it work!

Bob and Emily waking up was the only good thing about the Newhart finale.

153

Re: Monica Bellucci

https://s31.postimg.cc/7500equtz/IMG_1526.jpg

"How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."

154

Re: Monica Bellucci

ok, I've got the whole opening to Bond25 worked out.
Youre not allowed to read if you haven't made it the end of the new Twin Peaks.

Spoiler(gunbarrel as usual, well, at least as in the last film and the first twenty....)

Craig awakes in Bellucci's bed.
Craig rolls over for another round with the age-appropriate milf-goddess. She's not there!
Craig sits up in bed, and calls "Monica! er, I mean Lucia? where did...?"
Craig spots a note left on bedside table, then reads aloud:
" "Dearest Dale, last night was fabulous!" ...Dale?
"But now I must go into hiding, do not try to follow me.
Eff you. Diane" "
Craigs eyes widen. "Dale?!!? Diane?!!? who the...?"
Craig shakes head in disbelief, then looks directly at the camera.
"...what ... year is this?"

image freezes, brass section begins main theme (with animated dancing dwarfs, nuclear explosions and tea kettles)
Julee Cruse sings (to the tune of Goldfinger)
"Bond ... Twenty Five!!!!
its a film ... that took four years to arrive!!!!
but it feels more like twenty five!!!!"
credits end.

Craig is in the Universal Exports office. But its not any version of Moneypenny at the desk. It's Lucy.
Lucy "you can go in now, Agent Cooper, he's waiting for you. Its the red door. That's the thing behind you, the thing on hinges with a knob, and it's coloured red"
Craig shakes his head and mutters an oath, and enters.
inside, its not any version of M, its FBI Deputy Director Gordon Cole. Craig sees the office has been redecorated with a portrait of Franz Kafka, and a huge photograph of a mushroom cloud.
Cole shouts: "Coop, I need you to return to Twin Peaks immediately! The other Cooper has gone missing, again!"
Craig leans into Gordon Cole's face and growls "I think I'll call you C!"
Cole taps his hearing aid and shouts, "I see? No you see! C for Cooper!
now remember you dropped your gun in a deepfrier on your last mission, so Special Agent Albert Rosenfield is going to issue with a new one. Apologies in advance for Albert!!"
(enter Miguel Ferrer as Albert, who filmed his scenes before passing way, RIP)
Albert: "this is a Walther PPK ...
heh, did you know that's James Bond's gun?"
Craig punches Albert in the nose, who collapses to the floor, then turns to the camera, once again breaking the fourth wall:
"well, at least its better than the foster-brother nightmare!"

I know I'd pay good money to see that, and I bet David Lynch will give a big thumbs up and agree to act and direct as soon as he reads my script.

Last edited by caractacus potts (30th Apr 2018 19:22)

155

Re: Monica Bellucci

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol