(Spoilers for NTTD) Shakespeare's Bond: Work area (All welcome!)

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  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,053Chief of Staff
    {[] {[] {[]

    All now included.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    (Ye other ship sails straight to theirs, close enough for them to read “HMS Wandering Higgins” painted on its side. A voice ist heard.)
    Voice: Ahoy, Europe lovers! Stand by to be boarded! ... Waaa... wiff waff .... way hay !!!
    Sir James: ‘Tis their dreaded leader, Cap’n Boris!
    Lord Felix: I thought their leader was Cap’n Theresa?
    Sir James: Nay, she keeps herself well hidden these days.
    Lady Lashana: And what of her opponent, Jolly Jeremy?
    Sir James: Mayhap one day he will be of use but meantime we must fight!
    Look Cap'n Thresea has painted some red lines, so they'll soon be crossing them !
    Lord Felix : Look in that little dingy behind is that who I think it is
    Sir James : Cry Havoc Lord Felix, T'is the dreaded of all Brexiteers, the ferocious Farage !!
    Quick to arms !
    (Hordes of Brexiteers board their vessel. Crying “Majority rules!” they assail ye passengers and crew. Sir James beats them off with his sword. Lord Felix mans a cannon and blows holes in their ship. Lady Lashana lynches their leaders. Eventually ye Brexiteers are beaten back and sail away.)

    Lord Felix: ‘Twas a close call.
    Sir James: Just like their referendum…
    Lady Lashana: Look, Italy ist ahead!
    Lord Felix: That did not take long.
    Sir James: Lord Felix, Remember how we played sport, Drank in the ship's tavern,
    did gamble in the ship's casino, swam in the pool, and danced the night away to
    the Barry Manillow tribute band, had that pillow fight in the evening and you awoke
    next morn with your hand betwixt two pillows, but in reality t'was between my .....
    Lodr Felix : with vagary, I was very, very drunk at the time
    Sir James : ....hast thou never heard of a montage?
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,053Chief of Staff
    All now included- again! {[]
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    We must add a bit of a discussion over Mango or Coconut :))
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,053Chief of Staff
    Lady Lashana: Here, Sir James, have some coconut.
    Sir James: (Suspiciously.) Looks like mango to me.
    Lady Lashana: Nay, 'tis definitely a coconut.
    Sir James: Well, if thou say'est so...
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    Lady Lashana: Here, Sir James, have some coconut.
    Sir James: (Suspiciously.) Looks like mango to me.
    Lady Lashana: Nay, 'tis definitely a coconut.
    Sir James : Now listen Lady I've had my hands on many mangos and ......
    Lady Lashana : Hump ! I've had my hands on many nuts and that definetly a...
    Sir James : look a mango is, red longish and soft
    Lady Lashana : Sir James in my Hands, nothing stays ... soft
    Sir James: Well, if thou say'est so...
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,053Chief of Staff
    :)) :)) :))

    And again- all included!
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,053Chief of Staff
    Thanks to Charmed and Dangerous for the title for this adventure....
    9386dca86c.jpg
    Never Say Mango Again
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    #MangToo ;)
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,702MI6 Agent
    Mangos are not forever :007)
  • Charmed & DangerousCharmed & Dangerous Posts: 7,358MI6 Agent
    :)) :)) :)) or to get a little more Shakespearean:

    Romango and Juliet?

    Mangbeth?

    Cocothello?




    26929-A12-22-AE-422-A-A969-4254336-FDFAA.jpg
    "How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,053Chief of Staff
    :)) :)) :))

    Mangony and Cocopatra? ;%

    More appropriately:
    The Comedy Of Errors

    Even more appropriately:
    Much Ado About Nothing
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    an idea .......

    (A Harbour full of people and excitement, as a galleon makes anchor .... )

    ( Sir James is exercising on Deck, ........ )
    Lady Lashana: My that's impressive, so big but why doth it lean so ?
    Sir James : Pardon M'Lady, Tis these damn hoes, they're too light to .... Oh I see
    thee doth speak of the tower that leans
    Lady Lashana: Aye.
    Sir James : T'was build by Ejyptian builders !
    ( Enter Lord Felix )
    Lord Felix : I hath made arrangements for us to travel onwards. Our Italian cousins
    hath been very Helpful, Lady Caruso sends you her compliments Sir James.
    Sit James : (aside) Um ... see nipples and die .......
    Lord Felix : I think the quote be'ith See Naples and die
    Sir James : You look at what you want to Lord Felix
    Lady Lashana: I say we pack and get ready with haste to leave
    ( Later on the Docks a carriage is Laden down with Trunks and cases .... )
    Lord Felix : Why doth thee need so much lugage ?
    Lady Lashana: Um .......... I too had thoughts like this ?
    Sir James : I must always carry my Safari suits, tuxedos, both with Black and white Jackets
    My collection of Sir Tom Ford doublets and hose, .... the list is endless
    Lady Lashana: But this stuffed donkey in a Sombrero ?
    Sir James : A souvenir, .... Something indicative of the people and their culture.
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,702MI6 Agent
    Very good, but you call Sir James "sit" before the (aside) comment. That's not why I'm laughting …..


    :)) :)) :))
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    I must have left the h out :D
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,702MI6 Agent
    sith, hsit, siht, shi.. :o
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,053Chief of Staff
    :D A few more lines added:

    Act 3, Scene 3. A harbour full of people and excitement, as a galleon makes anchor. Sir James is exercising on deck.

    Lady Lashana: My, my- that's impressive, 'tis so big- but why doth it lean so?
    Sir James: Pardon M'Lady, ‘tis these damn hose, they're too light to... Oh I see thee doth speak of the tower that leans.
    Lady Lashana: Aye.
    Sir James: ‘Twas built by Egyptian builders!
    (Enter Lord Felix.)
    Lord Felix: I hath made arrangements for us to travel onwards. Our Italian cousins hath been very helpful, and Lady Caruso sends you her compliments Sir James.
    Sir James: (Aside.) Um... see nipples and die......
    Lord Felix: I think the quote be'eth “see Naples and die”.
    Sir James: You look at what you want to, Lord Felix.
    Lady Lashana: I say we pack and get ready with haste to leave.
    (Later on the docks a carriage is laden down with trunks and cases.)
    Lord Felix: Why doth thee need so much luggage?
    Lady Lashana: Um, I too had thoughts like this?
    Sir James: I must always carry my safari suits, tuxedos, both with black and white jackets, my collection of Sir Tom Ford doublets and hose .... the list is endless.
    Lady Lashana: But this stuffed donkey in a sombrero?
    Sir James: A souvenir... something indicative of the people and their culture.
    Lady Lashana: (Aside to Lord Felix.) Willst thou tell him, or shall I?
    Lord Felix: (Aside.) Just let him be, he ist happy.
    ((They enter ye carriage.)
    Sir James: So, Lady Lashana, ‘tis time to find Sir Malik and thou art the one most acquainted with his habits.
    Lady Lashana: ‘Tis my belief he will be found in one of ye fashionable night hostelries, holding a most glamorous party.
    Sir James: Then we must start our quest looking at many night spots.
    Lord Felix: Sounds like a pub crawl to me- so let’s get cracking!
    Sir James: Set off, driver- and watch out for that man with green trainers.
    Lord Felix: You mean the one arguing with an innocent bystander for no good reason?
    Sir James: Aye, that would be the one. (Thump.) Too late.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    ( Our three hereos enter a local Tavern ....... )

    Lord Felix : This be the Confused Gondolier , One of the most popular taverns in the city.
    Has something called Pole Dancing ? and is an Italian themed tavern.
    Sir James : Must be some sort of folk dancing, You know how I enjoy
    Something indicative of the people and their culture, But an Italian themed tavern in Italy ?
    Lady Lashana: T'is the latest thing, soon all taverns in Italy will be Italian themed ..... or
    Irish obviously
    Sir James : As long as they have Antipodean tavern stewards, and mead, I be'ith happy, I shall
    approach yon Bar steward.
    Lady Lashana: Language Sir James !
    Tavern keeper : Ow ya goin mate, fancy a bevvie ?
    Sir James : Be you the usual Bar keep ? two meads that are shaken and not stirred, and a
    diet Mango cocktail
    Tavern Keeper : The other fella is on a break, should be back though, he's a real Diamond.
    Sir James:I'm looking for a man ......
    Tavern Keeper : I don't think you're his type ...(Aside) Try tuesday and Thursday nights .
    Sir James : I'm looking for Infomation on .......
    Tavern Keeper : Surley you must know how ?, You just push your ....
    Sir James : Nay, you misunderstand, I hath monies to ......
    Tavern Keep : Hey !, A good looking man like yourself shouldn't have to pay. Have a bit
    more self confidence in yourself, Oh a bit more self respect ...
    Sir James : I'm looking for Sir Malik ...
    Tavern Keeper : Bloody hell cobber, your shooting a bit out of your league there. He's
    gorgeous !
    Sir James : Have you had him in lately ....
    Tavern Keeper : How dare you just because I serve drinks you think I'll sleep with anyone !
    Sir James : Pardon, where might I meet him ?
    Tavern Keeper : Oh, try the Hammer , it be'ith a tavern and dancing club two streets across.
    Poached many of our customers, I had hoped instead of getting successful it would fall, ...
    ... But I've given up on waiting for the hammer to fall.
    Sir James : ( pushes a bag of coins across ) Thank you, at last a lead !
    Tavern keep : A lead, well if you enjoy leads, chains and collars , there is a cellar ....
    Sir James : How very dare you sir ! ....( aside ) ptaytell, which night doth it open ?
    Lord Felix : I see you've got the libations Sir James.
    Sir James : Nay, this just the bulge of my coin purse, Now we must make haste Lord
    Felix, we could be having an audiance with Sir Malik
    Lady Lashana: Then let us quickly neck these, and get moving
    ( they drink quickly and depart the tavern ...... )
    Tavern Keeper : This never happened to the other fella !
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,702MI6 Agent
    :)) :)) :))

    Instead of this line:

    Sir James : Must be some sort of folk dancing, You know how I enjoy
    Something indicative of the people and their culture, But an Italian themed tavern in Italy ?


    perhaps we can have a line where Sir James thinks the tavern is Polish themed because of the poledancing?

    The line: "I was at a tavern once that said it had Lap dancing, but I couldn't see a single Laplander in there!" could be worked into the play too, perhaps?
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    I'm happy with any changes {[]
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,702MI6 Agent
    edited May 2019
    Sir James : Must be some sort of folk dancing from Poland. You know how I enjoy something indicative of the people and their culture, but these signs can be misleading. I was at a tavern once that said it featured Lap dancing, but I couldn't see a single Laplander in the whole establishment!
    But an Italian themed tavern in Italy?



    Does this look OK?
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,053Chief of Staff
    I'm having a busy day, no time for more than a quick look. Will have fun with the above later!
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    Sir James : Must be some sort of folk dancing from Poland, You know how I enjoy
    Something indicative of the people and their culture, but these signs can be misleading. I was at a tavern once that said it featured Lap dancing,judging by what I witnessed. Laplanders are very
    gymnastic and oddly wear very little clothing for such a cold climate !

    ( Only a variation on the line ) ?
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,702MI6 Agent
    That's better :D
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,053Chief of Staff
    A bit of editing etc:

    (Our three heroes enter a local tavern.......)

    Lord Felix: This be the Confused Gondolier, One of the most popular taverns in the city. Has something called Pole Dancing, and is an Italian themed tavern.
    Sir James: Must be some sort of folk dancing from Poland, you know how I enjoy something indicative of the people and their culture, but these signs can be misleading. I was at a tavern once that said it featured lap dancing- judging by what I witnessed, Laplanders are very gymnastic and oddly wear very little clothing for such a cold climate! But an Italian themed tavern in Italy?
    Lady Lashana: ‘Tis the latest thing, soon all taverns in Italy will be Italian themed..... or Irish obviously.
    Sir James: As long as they have Antipodean tavern stewards, and mead, I be'eth happy. I shall approach yon bar steward.
    Lady Lashana: Language Sir James!
    Tavern Keeper: Ow ya goin’ mate, fancy a bevvie?
    Sir James: Two meads that are shaken and not stirred, and a diet Mango cocktail… or was it coconut? Be you the usual bar keeper?
    Tavern Keeper: The other fella is on a break, should be back though, he's a real diamond.
    Sir James: I'm looking for a man......
    Tavern Keeper: I don't think you're his type. (Aside.) Try Tuesday and Thursday nights.
    Sir James: I'm looking for information on......
    Tavern Keeper: Surely you must know how? You just push your....
    Sir James: Nay, you misunderstand, I hath monies to....
    Tavern Keeper: Hey, a good looking man like yourself shouldn't have to pay. Have a bit more self confidence, and a bit more self respect.
    Sir James: I'm looking for Sir Malik...
    Tavern Keeper: Bloody hell cobber, you’re shooting a bit out of your league there. He's gorgeous!
    Sir James: Have you had him in lately...
    Tavern Keeper: How dare you just because I serve drinks you think I'll sleep with anyone!
    Sir James: Pardon, where might I meet him?
    Tavern Keeper: Oh, try the Hammer- it be'eth a tavern and dancing club two streets across. Poached many of our customers. I had hoped instead of getting successful it would fall... But I've given up on waiting for the hammer to fall.
    Sir James: (Pushes a bag of coins across.) Thank you, at last a lead!
    Tavern Keeper: A lead? Well if you enjoy leads, chains and collars , there is a cellar....
    Sir James: How very dare you sir! .… (Aside.) Pray tell, which night doth it open?
    Lord Felix: I see you've got the libations, Sir James.
    Sir James: Nay, this just the bulge of my coin purse, Now we must make haste Lord Felix, we could be having an audience with Sir Malik.
    Lady Lashana: Then let us quickly neck these, and get moving.
    (They drink quickly and depart the tavern.)
    Tavern Keeper: This never happened to the other fella….
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,053Chief of Staff
    PS. Loved the Lazenby cameo! :007)
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    edited May 2019
    As many speculate that OHMSS may be referenced in Bond 25 ? ;)


    An idea for the Photo of DC with a spear gun gutting a fish .....

    ( Sir James by is boat dock holds a strange weapon ..... )
    Sir James : My the young Wizard has outdone himself, who would think
    a carved leg from the old desk of Sir Miles and the stout elastic of a pair
    of Maid Moneypenny's under garments, could make such a weapon, now ....
    ..... " Lets go fishing "
    ( Sir James wanders to the water and waits for a passing fish .... enter Lord Felix... )
    Lord Felix : What are you doing Sir James, and watch out for falling mangos from
    that coconut tree !
    Sir James : Trying to catch a grouper !
    Lord Felix : The Knave, hurts the island's tourist trade ....
    Sir James : T'is a fish Lord Felix and here one comes .!
    ( sir james doth shoot the weapon and a spear flies out impaling the fish, which he
    carries ashore )
    Lord Felix : Wonderful, can you catch chips with that too ?
    ( Sir James begins preparing the fish as a cat passed by )
    Sir James : here have these, and these......
    ( The feline eagerly eats the offerings )
    Lord Felix, None of the Best bits I trust
    Sir James : He had Lots of guts.
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,053Chief of Staff
    :)) :)) :)) Like that!

    Next in Pisa, Sir James & co head for the Hammer where they find Sir Malik. On his arm is the lovely Paloma. Some witty lines are exchanged over a game of something. Lady Lashana tries to seduce Malik Mercury but he prefers Sir James much to the amusement of Felix, then we have a chase scene. Possibly this is where Madeleine re-enters?
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,702MI6 Agent
    When Madeleine meets people they should be puzzled that she's still alive and/or expecting her to die any moment, as a comment on fans and the media's expectations.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,053Chief of Staff
    Yes, good idea. I'll have a bash at writing this later, unless TP (or someone else!) gets there first.
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