No discussion: The political jokes thread

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  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    edited January 2021
    .
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    edited January 2021
    .
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,699MI6 Agent
    edited September 2017
    Sometimes God gets political and he has to follow the forum rules like evereyone else here on AJB007:

    tumblr_nrlsyv7Gjl1qdpj5so1_1280.png
  • Dirty PunkerDirty Punker ...Your Eyes Only, darling."Posts: 2,587MI6 Agent
    Number24 wrote:
    Sometimes God gets political and he has to follow the forum rules like evereyone else here on AJB007:

    tumblr_nrlsyv7Gjl1qdpj5so1_1280.png
    God has seen Casino Royale confirmed.
    a reasonable rate of return
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,699MI6 Agent
    edited September 2017
    God sees everything, including the non-EON Bond movies and all the deleted scenes (including the unpublished ones)
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,618MI6 Agent
    IMG_1084.jpg
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • danjaq_0ffdanjaq_0ff The SwampsPosts: 7,283MI6 Agent
    Higgins wrote:
    IMG_1084.jpg

    Higgy (Big Wall) Trump and ASP (Big Bang) IL :p :v
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,699MI6 Agent
    Is that your Big Bang Theory?
  • danjaq_0ffdanjaq_0ff The SwampsPosts: 7,283MI6 Agent
    Number24 wrote:
    Is that your Big Bang Theory?

    I have probably made a bigger bang in my pants the day after a curry :D
  • ACACIA_AVENUEACACIA_AVENUE UKPosts: 1,774MI6 Agent
    Who cleared up the fall out? :o
    One of us smells like a tart's handkerchief.
  • danjaq_0ffdanjaq_0ff The SwampsPosts: 7,283MI6 Agent
    Its ok Rob, it was a gas explosion, no fall out, the Mrs was a bit p1ssed though :D
  • ACACIA_AVENUEACACIA_AVENUE UKPosts: 1,774MI6 Agent
    I should think so, asking her to darn the hole in your pants :D
    One of us smells like a tart's handkerchief.
  • danjaq_0ffdanjaq_0ff The SwampsPosts: 7,283MI6 Agent
    I should think so, asking her to darn the hole in your pants :D

    I think it would start a war if I asked her to do that, she is more ferrel than domesticated :D
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,618MI6 Agent
    danjaq_0ff wrote:
    Its ok Rob, it was a gas explosion, no fall out, the Mrs was a bit p1ssed though :D

    .... and we still suffered from the outfall here in Germany :D
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • danjaq_0ffdanjaq_0ff The SwampsPosts: 7,283MI6 Agent
    I will give you suffering the next time I see you :p
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,053Chief of Staff
    :)) :)) :))
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,618MI6 Agent
    George W Bush ( and I am certainly not a fan of him) is reported having said the following after D. Trumps inauguration speech:

    <<That was weird sh*t>>
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    edited January 2021
    .
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    edited January 2021
    .
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,699MI6 Agent
    In the climate conferance in Bonn, Germany, the US delegation is pushing coal as the solution to climate change. Next they'll probably reveal how increased cocaine production will be key in the war on drugs :))
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,699MI6 Agent
    edited November 2017
    Robert Mugabe to be next IOC president

    "He's a bit on the young side and we question if he's corrupt enough to hold this position, but we need new blood" says head of the International Olympic Comitee Jacques Barlock (127).
    Mugabe has informed the IOC that he'll probably have much more time on his hands in the future and is willing to accept the position.
    "It's especially in the areas of dictatorship, lack of introspection and a focus on self interest Mugabe has impressed us." continues Barlock. "In time he will prove a perfect leader of the IOC."
    Of course Mugabe will need to be elected to the position first, and the 93 year old has been asked to organize the election personally. "Mugabe has great experience from Zimbabwe in holding elections, and the results speak for them selves," Barack assures us.

    (translated from the satire section of the newspaper VG)
  • ChriscoopChriscoop Belize Posts: 10,449MI6 Agent
    The biggest political joke this week is Zimbabwes " the crocodile" being the new president!
    It was either that.....or the priesthood
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,699MI6 Agent
    dfa18169c5a501f0bd376b921da48770.jpg


    jerusalemtoon04.jpg?w=620
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,699MI6 Agent
    In the future there won't be elections as we know them. You just feed your tax returns into a computer and the computer votes contrary to your interests on your behalf :))
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,699MI6 Agent
    The KGB, the Gestapo and the FBI are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary General of the the League of Nations decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The FBI people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist. The Gestapo goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming. The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,699MI6 Agent
    A frightened man came to the KGB. "My talking parrot has disappeared." "That's not the kind of case we handle. Go to the criminal police." 'Excuse me, of course I know that I must go to them. I am here just to tell you officially that I disagree with the parrot."


    An English athlete, a French athlete and a Russian athlete are all on the medal podium at the 1976 Summer Olympics chatting before the medal ceremony. "Don't get me wrong" says the Englishman, "winning a medal is very nice, but I still feel the greatest pleasure in life is getting home after a long day, putting one's feet up and having a nice cup of tea". "You Englishman" snorts the Frenchman, "you have no sense of romance. The greatest pleasure in life is going on holiday without your wife, and meeting a beautiful girl with whom you have a passionate love affair with before returning home back to work". "You are both wrong" scoffs the Russian. "The greatest pleasure in life is when you are sleeping at home and the KGB breaks your door down at 3 AM, bursts into your room and says 'Ivan Ivanovitch, you are under arrest' and you can reply 'Sorry comrade, Ivan Ivanovitch lives next door'".
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,699MI6 Agent
    boooom.jpg?w=547
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,699MI6 Agent
    i-keep-thinking-we-should-include-something-in-the-constitution-16881543.png
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    edited January 2021
    .
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • ChriscoopChriscoop Belize Posts: 10,449MI6 Agent
    What's an Austrian Vice Chancellors favorite drink?
    20190522-212651.jpg
    It was either that.....or the priesthood
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