Casino Royale Sucks, Worst Bond Movie Ever

I am so ****ed I wasted 2 hours of my life watching this disgrace they call a "James Bond" movie. It was garbage. Complete and utter garbage. If I wanted to watch this movie I just would have flipped ESPN poker on and then watch a 5 minute clip from an action movie.

This was one of the worst movies I've seen in my life, nevermind the worst Bond movie hands down.

What was this movie complete trash, I'll tell you:

#1 -- BORING. Bond movies are supposed to be exciting and clever, this movie was a boring, drawn out poker game.

#2 -- No gadgets. The best gadget they could come up with was a friggin difibulator for christ sakes, are you joking? A DIFIBULATOR AS THE TOP GADGET?

#3 -- No car chase. Every Bond movie has some great chase scene in it. But in this movie they tease you in making you think you are escaping the bordem of the poker match with a car chase, but the chase last about 5 seconds when he flips his car.

#4 -- Lack of hot cars. Bond movies are known for having classy cars. However, in the begining we see bond driving a what? A FORD FOCUS?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Is this was bond has been reduced to? Some type of Ford Focus hybrid soccor mom car? Pleeeeease. The two classy cars in the movie were just a snippett you barely even saw.

#5 -- Ugliest Bond girl ever. You think they could have at least found someone hot for this movie. Yeah, sure this girl looks alright, but nothing for a bond girl. The first girl in the movie he met should have had the lead role, anyone, but this girl. Bond girls need to be hot, she was not.

#6 -- Lack of action. There was barely any action scenes in this. He chases a black guy at the begining, and that was great, but other than that, it was boring as hell.

#007 -- The overall lack of 007 feel. Bond movies are known as the ultimate guy movies because of 3 simple ingredients: Action, Hot Women, Hot Cars. This movie lacked all 3. Sure, there were two hot chicks, but you barely saw then, instead some average Suzzie got the lead role. In addition, this guy was the worst James Bond ever. His huge nose, wrinkled and scarred face, and overall look was terrible. I am better looking than this guy, Bond is supposed to be a good looking charming man -- not Joe Shmoe.



CASINO ROYALE SUCKS!

This guy better not make another bond movie. Producers better smarten up and give Christian Bale a call to make the next several Bond movies. Bale matches to visibile discription of a James Bond with his looks, he is an action star, a tremendous actor, and to top it off: he's British! He has a heavy natural British accent that would be PERFECT for Bond.

christianbale1fw3.jpg



And listen to Bale naturally talk, he could easily pull off the Bond speech! http://movies.go.com/feature?featureid=855392

Comments

  • Slazenger7Slazenger7 Posts: 62MI6 Agent
    Lol, why didn't you just post this with the rest of the reviews?

    This might be the worst thread ever.... 8-)
  • NightshooterNightshooter In bed with SolitairePosts: 2,917MI6 Agent
    Yeah, all good points. Those producers better wisen up and fire Craig. It isn't like Casino Royale made $600 million at the Box Office.

    Oh, wait... crap... it DID make that much...

    8-)

    In all seriousness, there is already a thread dedicated to reviews, look at the top of the page.
  • HardyboyHardyboy Posts: 5,882Chief of Staff
    What a charming introduction! Anyway, Bronson, as was pointed out, we have an entire thread for the specific purpose of posting reviews of CR. You can find it right here:

    http://www.ajb007.co.uk/index.php?topic=27098

    As we don't allow separate threads just for reviews, this one is now closed.
    Vox clamantis in deserto
This discussion has been closed.