226

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

(From the James Bond/Monty Python crossover film, "The Man with the Holy Grail")

Squire: "James, Blofeld shot your arm off!"

James:  "No he didn't."

Squire:  "I believe he did.  There it is, lying on the ground."

James:  "Just a flesh wound.  Now excuse me, I need to find a shrubbery.  A nice one, but not too expensive."

227

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

(From the James Bond/Are You Being Served crossover film, "Second Floor, Women's Lingerie, Third Floor, Death")

Mrs. Slocombe:  "James, are you free?"

James:  "Yes, Mrs. Slocombe, how may I assist you?"

Captain Peacock:  "James, I know this is your first day here, but I specifically asked you to do nothing else until you finish helping Mr. Humphries undress the mannequins!"

James:  "Yes, Sir."

(At this point Mr. Humphries enters the room)

Captain Peacock:  "Now James, go to the back room, take those clothes off and start servicing Mr. Humphries immediately!!"

Mr. Humphries:  ohh!!  (passes out)

228

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol   I really want to see those films.

“I didn’t lose a friend, I just realised I never had one.”

229

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

The name's Bowen, Jim Bowen !

“I didn’t lose a friend, I just realised I never had one.”

230

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

No my dear,  I'm not at all interested in sleeping with you, I've decided asexual as I find the whole sex thing rather tedious and messy.

It was either that.....or the priesthood

231

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

From the James Bond / The A-Team crossover

'my name is Bond HM Bond'
Bond dressed up as the aquamaniac in OP
Here is your new car 007 the aston martin corvette

"You're in the wrong business... leave it to the professionals!"
James Bond- Licence To Kill

232

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

Now Bond (Roger Moore) your next assignment is in San Francisco ,you will be met at the airport by a chap called Inspector Frank Bullit ,he doesn't say much and dresses rather badly ,drives a crappy Mustang , he will take you to the SFPD headquarters and you will be assigned also with a rather unsavoury character called Harry Callaghan ,also an Inspector , don't take the PPK Bond ,he will only laugh at its size ,he has killed more people than you have ,and that's just for starters ,apparently he eats nothing but hot dogs , with mustard , awfull things by the sounds of it . Now this is a multi agency task ,Callaghan and Bullit will then drive you just south of Los Angeles ,to a small town called Bay City , now this is where it gets worse ,your contact there are 2 ,very undesirable detectives called Hutchinson and Starky or it could be Starsky ,they drive a awfull red car with a big white stripe on it .and Bond don't muck it up ,

By the way, did I tell you,  I was       "Mad"?

233

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

Now Bond (Roger Moore) your next assignment is in San Francisco ,you will be met at the airport by a chap called Inspector Frank Bullit ,he doesn't say much and dresses rather badly ,drives a crappy Mustang , he will take you to the SFPD headquarters and you will be assigned also with a rather unsavoury character called Harry Callaghan ,also an Inspector , don't take the PPK Bond ,he will only laugh at its size ,he has killed more people than you have ,and that's just for starters ,apparently he eats nothing but hot dogs , with mustard , awfull things by the sounds of it . Now this is a multi agency task ,Callaghan and Bullit will then drive you just south of Los Angeles ,to a small town called Bay City , now this is where it gets worse ,your contact there are 2 ,very undesirable detectives called Hutchinson and Starky or it could be Starsky ,they drive a awfull red car with a big white stripe on it .and Bond don't muck it up ,

By the way, did I tell you,  I was       "Mad"?

234

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

"would you care for some of this rather disappointing brandy Commander Bond?"
"not for me thanks, I'm doing stoptober and raising money for charity, then next month I'm growing a moustache for movember"

It was either that.....or the priesthood

235

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol

"How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."