101

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

" She never tied me to a chair,............. But she did grease me up and shove a gimp ball in my Mouth "

“I didn’t lose a friend, I just realised I never had one.”

102

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

" Oh, I'd put a bit of cream on that eye, Blofeld "

“I didn’t lose a friend, I just realised I never had one.”

103

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

Le Chiffre placed his cards face-up on the green baize of the table. A low murmur rippled through the smoke-hazed casino. The chink of a distant glass cut through the tense air. Raising a carefully-manicured right hand to his temple, Le Chiffre stared at Bond with a slight smirk, as if daring his next move.

Bond scanned the cards before looking at his own hand. He raised his eyes to meet Le Chiffre's. Dropping his cards onto the table he quietly yet assuredly proclaimed:

"Snap!"

104

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

Vodka martini and could you put a drop of Tizer in it.

“I didn’t lose a friend, I just realised I never had one.”

105

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

Suddenly Miley Cyrus's Wrecking Ball starts to play and Bond screams,....
" Oh, This song is reem, I gotta be hitting some moves "

“I didn’t lose a friend, I just realised I never had one.”

106

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

"Now your new transport, BMW Z3, five forward gears, agile, all points radar and my personal favourite - behind the headlights, stinger missiles! Sadly you'll not get to see any of those as the cars only just been built and we blew the limited budget on all the kids toys we made your gadgets from."

'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org

107

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

"I'll let you in on a little secret. The diamond mine is fake, but the lasers... are CGI."

'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org

108

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

Q: "Here's your new car."
Bond: "Aston?"
Q: "Sorry, 007, let's just say it's a generic sports car, as I'm afraid we're not allowed to mention brands or show logos anymore."

"How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."

109

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

"I'm Mr Kill"

Brossa spins around trying to find the hidden camera before bursting into laughter.

"Oh, you're being serious aren't you?"

'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org

110

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

"I'll have the vegan breakfast and no champagne in my Bucks Fiz: I've gone tee-total."

111

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

After the diet I'm now Mister Average, My Mister Big days are over.

“I didn’t lose a friend, I just realised I never had one.”

112

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

Heh heh heh heh heh! i was just thinking of something funny Kananga said just now

Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?"

" I don't listen to hip hop!"

113

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

'Q?'
'Yes Bond'
'Can I use your dictaphone?
'NO Bond! ..... use your finger, like everybody else does'

One of us smells like a tart's handkerchief.

114

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

Hello Q, you sent for me ?

Yes 007, your £5  short for the lottery kitty.

Not so pussy galore, then Q.

“I didn’t lose a friend, I just realised I never had one.”

115

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

A smug RM pulls the acrostar into the petrol station.

"Fill 'er up!"

"Do it yourself."

ajb007/insane

'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org

116

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

"You see sir, by rotating the bezel, the watch turns into a hyperintenstified magnetic field, strong enough to even deflect the path of a speeding bullet, or so Q claims, given enough range of course."

"What bollocks."

'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org

117

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

"Aston Martin call it the Vanquish, we call it..... missing."

Brossa facepalms as Cleese gropes around.

'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org

118

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

Yes Mr. Bond, I expect you to talk.

119

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

"Guess we all have to play the piper someday Q."

"Shut the Freddie Uncle Charlie Katie up you Freddie Uncle Charlie Katie Boris Johnson, you Freddie Uncle Charlie Katie Freddie Uncle Charlie Katie up my Freddie Uncle Charlie Katie fishing boat for my Freddie Uncle Charlie Katie retirement you utter Piers Morgan, I have the Freddie Uncle Charlie Katie right mind to come over there and Freddie Uncle Charlie Katie slap your bastard Piers Morgan face in, you utter   Brexit for brains Boris Johnson stain!!"

'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org

120

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

" It's a mankini, 007. It's the latest thing ! , It will be better than those damn safari suits "

“I didn’t lose a friend, I just realised I never had one.”

121

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

" I must say Blofeld  your a brave man to wear that short mini skirt, I have to admire your balls "

“I didn’t lose a friend, I just realised I never had one.”

122

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

"Henry Gupta, virtually invented Techno music."

'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
www.helpforheroes.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org

123

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

The Domino Effect wrote:

Le Chiffre placed his cards face-up on the green baize of the table. A low murmur rippled through the smoke-hazed casino. The chink of a distant glass cut through the tense air. Raising a carefully-manicured right hand to his temple, Le Chiffre stared at Bond with a slight smirk, as if daring his next move.

Bond scanned the cards before looking at his own hand. He raised his eyes to meet Le Chiffre's. Dropping his cards onto the table he quietly yet assuredly proclaimed:

"Snap!"

I like this one ajb007/lol

By the way, did I tell you,  I was       "Mad"?

124

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

You were good James but I'm going to stick with girls.

“I didn’t lose a friend, I just realised I never had one.”

125

Re: Unlikely things to be said in a Bond Film ?

"Hi, I'm Pussy."
"Of course you are."
"Pussy Galore."
"Named after your mother, perhaps?"

"Felix Leiter, a brother from Langley."