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Indeed, mastery of the golden pen, nay I folly to fail the word "keyboard" is indeed a skill you are indeed adept Laird Barbel! Such dexterity many a swordman would indeed be in envy, at the flexible parry you demonstrate with the words of Master Fleming.

This is Thunderbird 2, how can I be of assistance?

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Is that "Swordsman"  thing, the same as the swordsman award at the annual
Adult  Movie Awards ?  ajb007/shifty

"Let his death be a particularly unpleasant and humiliating one."

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(Sighs)
It weighs heavy on my heart indeed, the unending Depths of Verbal slurry our local innkeeper can stoop, in intention of afflicting our company with vulgarised wit!
Indeed it is not I of cleaner spirit and higher vitrtue, to consider the base level concerns of Such ill humour.
(Farts) It is with regret that sometimes the flesh does not follow the same virtue as that of the spirit. Pardon my transgression.  ajb007/crap

This is Thunderbird 2, how can I be of assistance?

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A rose by any other name, would still smell as sweet  !  ajb007/wink

"Let his death be a particularly unpleasant and humiliating one."

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For thine kind words, many thanks... and I think that's me finished with Shakespearing Bond for the moment at least.

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Sorry I haven't contributed much to this  ajb007/lol

1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger

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Just whilst we're talking about Shakespeare, I saw Thomas Wheatley in Love Labour's Lost at the RSC yesterday evening. I had no idea he was going to be in it so a lovely surprise. A wonderful play. Really enjoyed it. ajb007/heart

"Any of the opposition around..?"

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Well I thought I was finished....

PHYSICIAN, NAY

See: http://www.ajb007.co.uk/topic/47380/ajb … s-bond-in/

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Dr Yes, Yes, YES !!!!!  ajb007/lol

"Let his death be a particularly unpleasant and humiliating one."

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By the way, they're lovin' this stuff at MI6, Barbel! ajb007/martini

Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool. Craig is too.
#1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.QOS 4.DN 5.GF/GE 6.SP 7.FRWL 8.TB/TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT

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ajb007/smile They probably think we're a bunch of nutters here!

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Barbel wrote:

ajb007/smile They probably think we're a bunch of nutters here!

No, every reply is that they're all LOL!! ajb007/heart

Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool. Craig is too.
#1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.QOS 4.DN 5.GF/GE 6.SP 7.FRWL 8.TB/TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT

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I think Number 24 had a good idea above, about trying this in another genre, eg western. That might work, but someone else should take a crack at it.
Nice to be building bridges with the mi6 guys.

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Many styles to choose, Western, Dickens, The Bronte's (Romantic fiction)
As a young Bond ( Harry Potter) ,
If anyone knows the love scenes in Bond, we could have our own 50 shades.  ajb007/biggrin

"Let his death be a particularly unpleasant and humiliating one."

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I'm thinking film noir, or more accurately the Chandler/Marlowe mode (this is after pleasant chats with David Schofield, a fellow fan of that genre) might work.

I awoke with an ache in my head like twenty Korean bodyguards were drumming their steel hats on my skull. There was a faint humming that told me we were in a plane.
A blonde angel was smiling down at me. She had a figure that would make M's pipe drop out of his mouth.
"Who are you?" I said.
The angel spoke and her voice was like honey strained through bourbon.
"I'm Pussy Galore."
"I can see that, sweetheart, but what's your name?"

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ajb007/lol  noir galore.  ajb007/martini

"Let his death be a particularly unpleasant and humiliating one."

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How about gangsta?

I was chillin' in the black when this fine ho woke me. B**ch was dope, and I asked her name. She said "Pussy Galore" and I was all like "I mus' be f***in' dreamin', yo!"

ajb007/lol

No, I think we can forget that...

Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool. Craig is too.
#1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.QOS 4.DN 5.GF/GE 6.SP 7.FRWL 8.TB/TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT

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The big man looked down on me silently.
"What's your problem, highpockets?" I said. "Cat got your tongue?"
He smiled, showing his teeth, and I shuddered.
They were made of steel.

It was one of those towns that had sold its soul so long ago that it couldn't recall it had ever had one. Slowly I rolled my window down, to hear what the cop had to say.
"You got a set of wheels that just won't quit, boy" said the fat cop.

Night in San Francisco falls sudden, so sudden that the fireflies take their own sweet time before making their dance of love and your eyes take their own sweet time to adjust. It's that hour when one martini becomes two, and promises are made that you know won't be kept in the morning light.
"James!" she cried. "Don't leave me!"

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When I entered the lounge, The handsome Commander Bond was just
Awakened from his slumber.  I looked on that handsome strong face
Those beautiful eyes, distinguished jaw line, the cruel mouth that offered
So much desire in my flittering heart, oh I must control my girlish ways.
" Who are you" he asked, I was startled, for a gentleman such as this to
Speak directly to a lowly servant such as myself, without a chaperone
Present was unheard off, frowned upon if truth be known.
Hesitantly I blurted out " I'm Pussy Galore" .
I could feel my cheeks flush with my desire to acquaint myself with this
Handsome young officer and hoped my Father would approve of my
Choice of suitor. I could see in my mind, a Home, children , nights playing
My harpsichord as he would sit by the fire and read to me the most
Romantic of love poetry.
With a conspiratorial grin he quickly added " I must be dreaming "
At once I knew he too felt the same longing nay yearning that beat in
My fragrant young heart. My bosom heaved, my passion rising.
Mr Bond, I knew was the one, the special one for Me ! I could give
Myself freely to, as they could be no other !

"Let his death be a particularly unpleasant and humiliating one."

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Or how about:

To James Bond she is always THE woman. That evening, in the spring of 54, as we sat in front of Mrs Moneypenny's coal fire in our shared rooms at 007B Baker Street, he suddenly exclaimed-
"My dear Dr Leiter, in your chronicles you have not as yet recorded the adventure of the gaming rooms in Royale for the edification of your reading public."
"But surely Bond", I ejaculated, "the world is not ready for such a singular account. And I am surprised that you should desire me to record it."
He shrugged, and reached for another Morland Special, which he kept in a shoulder holster pinned to the mantelpiece.
"It can do no harm",  he said, "the bitch is dead now."

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This here Scaramanga was known for his fast draw & single shot end to a duel. I knew I couldn't beat him at his own damn game, so I decided to turn the tables. That there likeness he had o' me for target practice was the way, I reckoned.
Slick as snot I slipped in there quiet as a ghost. He walked in like he was the Sheriff o' Dodge City all right. I drilled him with lead before he knew what hit him is all. He died with that same surprised look that ole' Durango Dent had when I nailed him. I holstered my Colt PPK & rode off with crazy Mary hot on my trail. She was dopey as a mule, but such a fine piece o' calico...

Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool. Craig is too.
#1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.QOS 4.DN 5.GF/GE 6.SP 7.FRWL 8.TB/TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT

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ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol

crazy Mary...

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Thunderpussy wrote:

When I entered the lounge... as they could be no other !

TP, what have you been reading? I don't recognize that style.

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It's my own version of " Chick-lit"  ( the spelling mistakes, prove I wrote it )  ajb007/lol
I was trying for a Jane Austen type, but as I've never read any of her work, as she
Didn't go in for car chases and explosions, I had to wing it.  ajb007/lol

"Let his death be a particularly unpleasant and humiliating one."

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Ah, I see. Not something I'd read, so I didn't get it.

I felt icicles dance on my neck like Nureyev. The cold body beside me was no more cold than my heart.
"Believe me, Mr Bond", the man said, "I could shoot you from Stuttgart and still create the proper effect."
My heart pounded. There was one chance, and only one. I reached for my cellphone.