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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

Barbel wrote:

1968
Secretary: Eon Productions Ltd, can I help you? ...No, I'm sorry, could you spell that please? ...L-A-Z-E-N-B-Y... And the first name again?

1970
Secretary: Eon Productions Ltd, can I help you? ...No, I'm sorry, could you spell that please? ...L-A-Z-E-N-B-Y... And the first name again?

hahaha, genius!  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol

President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

-------Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!------

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

You won't be saying that when you check the post before yours  ajb007/biggrin  ajb007/biggrin

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol

You are on a run tonight.
You should try to make a hero son while you are on it  ajb007/biggrin

President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

-------Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!------

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

ajb007/lol  Nah, this is my night off! Very happy you're enjoying these.

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

1962

Marguerite LeWars:  “Mr. Young, are you sure I’m supposed to say those things?   In that part of the script, I have no dialogue at the Kingston Airport.”

Terence Young:  “Please call me Terence, my dear, and yes, you should relate to me how you would emote those actions, to demonstrate you are conveying the appropriate attitude of your character, your very naughty character.”

Marguerite LeWars:  “Very well…Terence.  I’m still not sure about the descriptive wording you are suggesting for me to say, but here it goes.  “I held the thick and hard handle of the camera at the base.  My fingertips squeezed the bulbous flash, gently twisting it until it came…off.  I then licked the threaded base, rapidly darting my tongue on every ridge and crevice until the entire shaft was covered in my saliva…”  …are you sure that’s not too over-the-top, Terence?  Terence?   Mr. Young?  Are you still on the other end?!

Terence Young:  (Groaaaaaan!!!)

"...the purposeful slant of his striding figure looked dangerous, as if he was making quickly for something bad that was happening further down the street." -SMERSH on 007 dossier photo, Ch. 6 FRWL.....

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

1962:
Cubby, " hello is that you Sean, what's the problem ?"
SC, " I seem to be losing my hair, Cubby, it's disappearing fast !"
Cubby, "  No one cares Sean, you're the number 1, box office star
                 In the world "
SC, " I don't care, I want something done ..... I want a toupe !'
Cubby, " Sean,I don't think ......... "
SC, " look just get me a Toupe, make this happen!"
Cubby, " OK Sean, ..... But on your head be it !"

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol

1989
Broccoli: Hi, John, how goes it?... What, another ten trucks? I just sent you forty-seven of them!....What, all of them?

1972
George Martin: Oh, hi Harry, how are you?.... Ah, you listened to the record then, how did you like it?.... Oh good, I’m glad, Paul and Linda will be pleased... yes, Aretha Franklin is a great singer but... But, Harry, you’ve got Paul singing it.... No, it isn’t a demo- he doesn’t make demos, this is the record....

1995
Bean: Ah, hello Mr Wilson, is the script ready? I’m keen to know on which page I die.... Oh yes, it’s in my contract, it always is... Ah, I see, page 123... and page 6, good. Couldn’t you work in another death about page 80 or so?

1983
Broccoli: Hello, Michael, have we got the box-office returns for "Octopussy" in yet?.... We have? Oh, great, how are we doing?.... Excellent, thank you! And what about dear Kevin and Sean and "Never Say Whatsit Called"?... Ah, even better!... Yes, very happy.

1964
Executive: Hello, Jaguar Cars Ltd... Oh, yes, you make the James Bond films, don't you? What can I do for you?.... Yes, the new model is just about ready.... What, you want four of them for nothing? I don't think... Yes, I appreciate it would be good publicity but still... You want us to do what? Cut a hole in the roof? What on earth for, an ejector seat?... Oh, I see.... No, I don't think we can accommodate you. Tell you what, why don't you try Aston Martin? I've got their number right here...

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

ajb007/martini ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol
Hey Barbel keep it up ajb007/martini , every time I read your phone calls I keep imagining them in the voice of Bob Newhart  ajb007/insane

One of us smells like a tart's handkerchief.

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

The great Bob Newhart, king of the one-sided phone calls! It hadn't occurred to me, but that's where this idea came from.  ajb007/cheers

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

2008
Rachel: How's filming going?
Dan: All we're doing is writing & rewriting. We film for twelve hours and then write stuff for ten hours; I'm getting no f**king sleep.
Rachel: Do you have your ending yet?
Dan: You kidding? Honey, we're making this up as we go.
Rachel: Are you eating enough?
Dan: I'm drinking enough...

Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool. Craig is too.
#1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.QOS 4.DN 5.GF/GE 6.SP 7.FRWL 8.TB/TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol Do you think your pals at mi6 would like this?

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

chrisisall wrote:

2008
Rachel: How's filming going?
Dan: All we're doing is writing & rewriting. We film for twelve hours and then write stuff for ten hours; I'm getting no f**king sleep.
Rachel: Do you have your ending yet?
Dan: You kidding? Honey, we're making this up as we go.
Rachel: Are you eating enough?
Dan: I'm drinking enough...

Satsuki: Dan, where have you been spending your nights? Why aren't you paying attention to me anymore? I think we should break up in two years.

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

PMSL  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

Barbel wrote:

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol Do you think your pals at mi6 would like this?

Not sure, things seem to be a tad humourless over there at the moment.

Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool. Craig is too.
#1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.QOS 4.DN 5.GF/GE 6.SP 7.FRWL 8.TB/TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

I noticed, I slipped in one joke at them in the last Shakespeare script and they didn't notice.  ajb007/biggrin

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

1974
Hamilton: Hello, Cubby, it's ok, he said yes... No, he said he wouldn't bring the teeth... No, he won't wear the cape either.... No, I didn't ask about a coffin, but I'm sure he wouldn't...

1987
Secretary: Vienna Balloons Ltd... Why, yes, Mr Glen, of course I've heard of James Bond... We would be happy to take your order.... One balloon. Certainly. To be delivered at 10am on Tuesday morning.... Not at all... Thank you for your call.

1971
Saltzman: Hi Cubby, it's Harry... yes, I'm fine... Yes, I'm sitting down... Oh, Sean is coming back? Just one question, then: how much?.... HOW MUCH???? Have you taken leave of your... plus what?... plus WHAT???... Oh, that's just insa...

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

1963
Llewelyn: Hello, darling, I've just been asked to play a part in the next James Bond picture.... No, it's only a day's work, I just have to give him a briefcase... Well, you never know, they might want me to do more....

1977
Secretary: Eon Catering Department, can I help you?... Yes, you want to order breakfast for one of the cast? Of course, what would you like?... Six eggs, four sausages, eight rashers of bacon, ten slices of toast... What, is he a giant? Hahaha... Oh, he is. I see...

1974
Secretary: Eon Catering Department, can I help you?... Yes, you want to order breakfast for one of the cast? Of course, what would you like?... One egg, half a sausage, one rasher of bacon, half a slice of toast... What, is he a midget? Hahaha... Oh, he is, I see.

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol

Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool. Craig is too.
#1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.QOS 4.DN 5.GF/GE 6.SP 7.FRWL 8.TB/TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

1979
Bassey: Hello?... Hi John, lovely to hear from you... What, again? ... Of course, I'd love to!

1987
Producer: Hello, Pierce, it’s Robert... Yes, fine, and the family are all fine too... Look, we've been thinking that it might be time to do a new series of Remington Steele... Now, hold on one minute.... really, there’s no need to use that kind of...

1981
Keating: Hi, Peter, it's Henry... Yes, I've got you an author... No, we've tried Len and J le C and they won't cough.... Yes, it's him...

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

Barbel wrote:

1987
Secretary: Vienna Balloons Ltd... Why, yes, Mr Glen, of course I've heard of James Bond... We would be happy to take your order.... One balloon. Certainly. To be delivered at 10am on Tuesday morning.... Not at all... Thank you for your call.

1987
"Vienna Community Hospital, ER, how can we help you?"
"Yes, we've heard that you are shooting in town"
"Yes, we have seen your main actor on TV"
"Of course we will take him in because of that balloon accident, what exactly happened?"
"Well first of all you have to calm him down and stop the tears - otherwise he will dehydrate severely"
"Err - no. Sorry but a split fingernail does not really count as an emergency"

President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

-------Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!------

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol

1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol  ajb007/lol
Guys, keep them up, these are just brilliant !!!!

"How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

1971
Hamilton: "Hey Derek, How's the second unit work going? ... You what? You mean the car goes in one side, then emerges on the other two wheels? ... Ok, you'll take care of it then, you just need Sean and Jill for a couple of hours?... Ok as long as you promise no-one will ever notice..."

"How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

ajb007/lol  Can't think of any more right now.

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Re: Imaginary Phone Calls

EON PRODUCTIONS
Ah good morning ,is that the Madrid city film dept
MADRID CITY FILM DEPT
Ce senior
EP
WE want to film a new Bond film in Madrid ,it will bring in lots of money and employment ,we want to start on the 25th June
MCFD
not possible senior ,that day is a bank holiday
EP
well hoe about the 30th then ?
MCFD
sorry senior ,but that too is a bank holiday,
EP
don't worry we will go to Mexico instead ,

By the way, did I tell you,  I was       "Mad"?