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Topic: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

The title basically says it all. Choose any James Bond actor through the years and pitch what you think would or would have made a great Bond film for them to star in. It doesn't have to be a detailed story, maybe just a quick summary, a title for the film, or just some ideas for a few scenes. This is a James Bond fan site so I'm sure this is something many of us have thought about.   ajb007/martini

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Bond - Timothy Dalton

Era - Early 90's -1991

Title - License Renewed

Plot - This would be an Adaptation of the first Novel by J Gardner. It would fit in well with License To Kill.

An international Terroist named Franco has been meeting with the Laird of Muculdy, Anton Murik. M suspects that something sinister is being planned. He realises that the only capable Agent of stopping them is 007. Bond is reissued with his License to kill (It having been taken away from him in the previous Film)

Bond goes to Ascot and the whole Operation expands from there.

1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Die Another Day Pt. II (2025) featuring Pierce Brosnan.

The scene opens with Bond making love to "Chialberry Ghips" (Kim Kardashian) when a bunch of rogue North Korean assassins try to shoot up the place and kill Bond.  Bond gets on his private stealth jet and flies away with the girl, dropping her off at a plastic surgery office after evading hordes of North Korean fighter jets.

M hands Bond his new assignment.  The point of interest is a wealthy megalomaniac banana republic dictator named Pedro Plantana that wants to export poisonous bananas (full of STD's) to the UN Food Programme.  Bond must stop him, but covertly, as the rest of the world would frown upon shutting down a food donation program.  Bond's only ally for this mission is the one country in the world that won't accept food donations: North Korea. 

He arranges a secret meeting.  But in order to gain their trust after killing Gustav Graves, Bond must first become Kim Jong Un's personal weight loss coach for a week.  After Bond finally lets Un win a basketball game, he is introduced to Un's sister, a botanical nutritionist named Potassi Um (played by Ellen Pao) who runs a banana research lab.  And a phallic joke about Um working with banana's leads to a steamy sex scene.

They go on boat to Latin America whilst fending off against hordes of pirates trying to steal their stash of unpoisoned bananas that have been in testing.  By 2025, there's a McDonald's Express boat for every mile on the ocean, but the pirate wanting to eat healthy try to kill Bond instead to steal the good bananas.  They fail and are interrogated for information leading to Plantana.

When Bond arrives on the island, and after discussing the political affairs with a few potential leads, he goes to a brothel secretly while Um is asleep.  The private dancer turns out to be Q who gives him a bunch of gluten-free gadgets.  Bond breaks into, enters and strangles a botanist from Pedro Plantana's lab, wears his uniform and injects hormones from the immune banana's Um created into the poison machine to dissipate it. 

As the men chase for him, Bond himself turns invisible with a watch Q gave him.  Q said that making another invisible Aston Martin Vanquish was too expensive to trash and due to David Cameron's fiscal policies, Bond will have to travel on foot.

His mission is nearly jeopardized when a bum unknowingly pisses on invisible Bond, but Bond gives the bum the MI6 expense card and a lecture about life because "We're all going to die anyway". He then invisibly sneaks into Plantana's banana fortress, deep into his banana shrine.  With no one to call to for help, Bond presses a gun against Plantana's head.  Stating that Plantana only recently came into power before, and usually dictators are well known before they usurp power, he asks Plantana who he really is.

He takes off the mask and reveals himself to be Kim Jong Il (played by Sean Connery in Asianface of course).  Bond brutally shoots the guy to death but only to realize Plantana/Il and Un were in cohoots all around.  Then a bunch of ravaging monkeys come around to eat all the bananas and the place starts to collapse.  Bond and Potassi Um help each other escape, and land on a huge lifeboat raft with plenty of fresh healthy bananas to eat.

Bond and Um are naked and make love on the raft full of bananas.  Just as a crew of UN rescue boats comes along, Bond turns invisible again.  Um freaks out and to her chagrin the UN workers think she's just masturbating to bananas.

The end.

Last edited by Absolutely_Cart (9th Jul 2015 21:29)

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

You need to stop drinking  ajb007/smile

Last edited by AlphaOmegaSin (9th Jul 2015 21:37)

1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Absolutely_Cart wrote:

Die Another Day Pt. II (2025) featuring Pierce Brosnan.

The scene opens with Bond making love to "Chialberry Ghips" (Kim Kardashian) when a bunch of rogue North Korean assassins try to shoot up the place and kill Bond.  Bond gets on his private stealth jet and flies away with the girl, dropping her off at a plastic surgery office after evading hordes of North Korean fighter jets.

M hands Bond his new assignment.  The point of interest is a wealthy megalomaniac banana republic dictator named Pedro Plantana that wants to export poisonous bananas (full of STD's) to the UN Food Programme.  Bond must stop him, but covertly, as the rest of the world would frown upon shutting down a food donation program.  Bond's only ally for this mission is the one country in the world that won't accept food donations: North Korea. 

He arranges a secret meeting.  But in order to gain their trust after killing Gustav Graves, Bond must first become Kim Jong Un's personal weight loss coach for a week.  After Bond finally lets Un win a basketball game, he is introduced to Un's sister, a botanical nutritionist named Potassi Um (played by Ellen Pao) who runs a banana research lab.  And a phallic joke about Um working with banana's leads to a steamy sex scene.

They go on boat to Latin America whilst fending off against hordes of pirates trying to steal their stash of unpoisoned bananas that have been in testing.  By 2025, there's a McDonald's Express boat for every mile on the ocean, but the pirate wanting to eat healthy try to kill Bond instead to steal the good bananas.  They fail and are interrogated for information leading to Plantana.

When Bond arrives on the island, and after discussing the political affairs with a few potential leads, he goes to a brothel secretly while Um is asleep.  The private dancer turns out to be Q who gives him a bunch of gluten-free gadgets.  Bond breaks into, enters and strangles a botanist from Pedro Plantana's lab, wears his uniform and injects hormones from the immune banana's Um created into the poison machine to dissipate it. 

As the men chase for him, Bond himself turns invisible with a watch Q gave him.  Q said that making another invisible Aston Martin Vanquish was too expensive to trash and due to David Cameron's fiscal policies, Bond will have to travel on foot.

His mission is nearly jeopardized when a bum unknowingly pisses on invisible Bond, but Bond gives the bum the MI6 expense card and a lecture about life because "We're all going to die anyway". He then invisibly sneaks into Plantana's banana fortress, deep into his banana shrine.  With no one to call to for help, Bond presses a gun against Plantana's head.  Stating that Plantana only recently came into power before, and usually dictators are well known before they usurp power, he asks Plantana who he really is.

He takes off the mask and reveals himself to be Kim Jong Il (played by Sean Connery in Asianface of course).  Bond brutally shoots the guy to death but only to realize Plantana/Il and Un were in cohoots all around.  Then a bunch of ravaging monkeys come around to eat all the bananas and the place starts to collapse.  Bond and Potassi Um help each other escape, and land on a huge lifeboat raft with plenty of fresh healthy bananas to eat.

Bond and Um are naked and make love on the raft full of bananas.  Just as a crew of UN rescue boats comes along, Bond turns invisible again.  Um freaks out and to her chagrin the UN workers think she's just masturbating to bananas.

The end.

http://i306.photobucket.com/albums/nn265/thorpstar23/fattest_man_03.jpg

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

I think it's brilliant.

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Love this idea. I've been thinking a lot about theoretical alternate Bond films lately (see my recent post similar to this one: http://bit.ly/1fsqKpj). Here's my favorite idea so far:

An alternate Live and Let Die released in the mid-70's (anywhere from 1974-78)

Bond: Sean Connery

Director: William Friedkin

This film would be a darker, bloodier Bond film, in the vein of other action/noir/espionage thrillers from the 70's, like Marathon Man, The French Connection, Three Days of the Condor, etc. 

Up the violence and strangeness of the voodoo stuff, and make it closer to the book (i.e. get rid of Kananga and return to original Mr. Big character, keep the coral scene used in FYEO, and more importantly Felix Leiter's story arch that was saved for LTK)

It'd be interesting to see Connery in the 70's playing a really dark Bond with a gritty, 70s noir tone.

Wish I Was at Disneyland, podcast about Disneyland, Disney news, Disney movies, Star Wars, and life in Southern California.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/wis … 80413?mt=2

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

One thing that would've been cool was to have had Moore in for DAF so each part of the Blofeld trilogy was a different actor.

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Absolutely_Cart wrote:

One thing that would've been cool was to have had Moore in for DAF so each part of the Blofeld trilogy was a different actor.

Never thought of it that way. Definitely would have been interesting.

Wish I Was at Disneyland, podcast about Disneyland, Disney news, Disney movies, Star Wars, and life in Southern California.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/wis … 80413?mt=2

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

A different Bond for each different Blofeld.  ajb007/wink
I like the grittier LALD idea. Tarrintino could make a brilliant version.

“I didn’t lose a friend, I just realised I never had one.”

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Agent Lee wrote:

Love this idea. I've been thinking a lot about theoretical alternate Bond films lately (see my recent post similar to this one: http://bit.ly/1fsqKpj). Here's my favorite idea so far:

An alternate Live and Let Die released in the mid-70's (anywhere from 1974-78)

Bond: Sean Connery

Director: William Friedkin

This film would be a darker, bloodier Bond film, in the vein of other action/noir/espionage thrillers from the 70's, like Marathon Man, The French Connection, Three Days of the Condor, etc. 

Up the violence and strangeness of the voodoo stuff, and make it closer to the book (i.e. get rid of Kananga and return to original Mr. Big character, keep the coral scene used in FYEO, and more importantly Felix Leiter's story arch that was saved for LTK)

It'd be interesting to see Connery in the 70's playing a really dark Bond with a gritty, 70s noir tone.

A grittier LALD with Connery is a brilliant Idea  ajb007/martini

1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Decade: Late 80's - Early 90's

Bond: Brosnan or Dalton

Plot:
Mi6 is taken over by a group of terrorists who are looking for a file on an attacks why recently carried out. With all agents being held in the building, Bond is left as the only person who can save everyone, and with the help of Q, Bond begins to kill off the terrorists one by one. The terrorists blow half of Mi6 up to prevent anyone from getting inside, and Bond is left fighting in the building whilst the others escape. All except M, who stays to help Bond, ultimately saving Bond as he couldn't risk losing his best agent.

1.LTK  2.AVTAK  3.OP  4.FYEO  5.TND  6.LALD  7.GE  8.GF  9.TSWLM  10.SPECTRE  11.SF  12.MR 13.YOLT  14.TLD  15.CR (06)  16.TMWTGG  17.TB  18.FRWL  19.TWINE  20.OHMSS  21.DAF  22.DAD  23.QoS  24.NSNA  25.DN  26.CR (67)

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Does Bond run around bare Foot whilst carrying an Automatic?  ajb007/lol

1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Bond - Pierce Brosnan

Era - Mid 2000s

Title - Shatterhand

Plot - Adaptation of Fleming's You Only Live Twice novel

edit: forgot director: Michael Apted. He got the best performance out of Brosnan, and with a Fleming story he would have done a fantastic job.

Last edited by Matt S (10th Jul 2015 16:30)

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Matt S wrote:

Bond - Pierce Brosnan

Era - Mid 2000s

Title - Shatterhand

Plot - Adaptation of Fleming's You Only Live Twice novel

I could imagine Brosnans Bond going Toe to Toe with Blofeld in a brutal Fight ajb007/martini

1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

I would also have loved to have seen Brosnan in a proper adaptation of Casino Royale in 2006 without all the rubbish they added to Craig's movie. Unlike Tarantino, I would have wanted it to be set in the present. Bond always needs to be in the present. Not sure on the director, but definitely not Martin Campbell. He's not as good with the non-action scenes, and a proper adaptation of the novel would have much less action.

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Matt S wrote:

I would also have loved to have seen Brosnan in a proper adaptation of Casino Royale in 2006 without all the rubbish they added to Craig's movie.

I wouldn't. He was too old. I do wish fans would give up this hope as Brosnan in Casino Royale. With Craig we got an actor who inhabited the character. We got the full set of emotions.

If it was Brosnan....yeuch

Listen, this is very harsh but Brosnan got the films which suited his Bond. Light flimsy things with invisible cars. They suited his Bond to a tee...

1. For Your Eyes Only      2. The Living Daylights    3 From Russia with Love  4. Casino Royale  5. OHMSS  6. Skyfall

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

I wrote this pitch for a more down to earth Version of Moonraker some time ago:



A Drax Industries Moonraker space shuttle on loan to the United Kingdom is hijacked in mid-air. James Bond is assigned to investigate. En route to England in a small charter plane, Bond is attacked by two men. One is Jengo, an African albino of gigant size. Drax saved Jango from an armed crowd who wanted to hack him into pieces and use the remains to work powerful magic. Jengo is strong enough to snap the neck of any man like a dry twig. The pilot and the two hit-men put on parachutes and jump out of the plane. Bond jumps after them and wrestles the parachute from the second assassin in mid-air.
Bond proceeds to the Drax Industries shuttle-manufacturing complex in France where he meets the owner of the company, Hugo Drax. Bond also meets Dr. Holly Goodhead, an expert on DNA hired by Drax to do research for him. She has grown suspicious of Drax’s plans and motives. Bond is later aided by Drax's personal pilot, Corinne Dufour, as he finds blueprints for a glass vial made in Venice. Bond then foils another attempt on his life, using a hunting shotgun to shoot a sniper. Upon discovering that Dufour assisted Bond's investigations, Drax has her killed.
Bond again encounters Goodhead in Venice where he is attacked by henchmen on a speedboat. Bond chases after the boat using a motorcycle chased along the canals. He jumps canals, negotiates tight corners, crosses bridges and hitches on the roofs of tourist taxies to keep up with the speedboat.
 
He discovers a secret biological laboratory, and by accidentally poisoning the scientists there, he learns that the glass vials are to hold a deadly virus deadly to some ethnic groups, but safe for others using DNA engineering. In a glass art shop Bond is attacked by two assains dressed in costumes for the anual carnival. They area med with rapiers, but Bond manages to kill his attackers using a rapier with glass guard and handle he picks up from the exhibition. Bond finds evidence that Drax is moving his operation to Rio de Janairo.

Rejoining Goodhead, he deduces that she works for CIA to spy on Drax. They promise to work together, but quickly dispense with the truce. Bond has saved one of the vials he found earlier, as the only evidence of the now-empty laboratory, giving it to M for analysis, who permits him to go to Rio de Janeiro under the pretence of being on leave.
In Rio, Bond meets his Brazilian contact Manuela. Bond meets Goodhead at the top of Sugarloaf Mountain. When they are on their way down using the cable car, Jango starts hacking at the cable using a fire axe. Just before the cable car plummets to the ground, Bond and Goodhead jumps from the car going down to the car going up. Bond then uses his belt to slide down the cable with Goodhead.   Bond and Goodhead are captured by henchmen in other end of the cable line, but Bond escapes and reports to an MI6 base in Brazil and learns that the toxin comes from a rare orchid indigenous to the Amazon jungle. Bond travels the Amazon River looking for Drax's research facility and again encounters Drax’s henchmen. Bond escapes from his boat just before it hits the Iguazu Falls, and finds Drax's base. Captured by Drax’s people again,  Drax explains that he stole the Moonraker because another in the fleet had developed a fault during assembly. They are flown from Brazil to Norway, where Drax has a private rocket base on the Lofoten islands. They are traveling  on Drax’s private luxery jumbo jet. The airplane features a bubble bath, a gourmet kitchen and a living room with a large, circular screen showing the ground the jet is flying over as filmed by cameras placed in the fusilage. Bond talkes to Jango about Drax’s racisist world view and how Jango doesn’t fit in it. During the flight Bond manages to send a secret message to MI6 about the base in Norway. (There is a rocket base in Andøya in the Lofoten Islands. The rockets are used to monitor the atmosphere in the polar region. The northeren lights are among the topics of research. In 1995 they launched a rocket that led to panic in Russia. The launch was pre-planned and the Russians were alerted in advance. But since this is Russia in the 1990's and the President was Yeltsin and  hence drunk, so Russia almost "retaliated" agains the West with atomic missiles.Andøya is also surrounded by a stunning landscape) 

Drax plans to launch fifty globes containing the DNA-coded lethal viruses into the Earth's atmosphere.  The viruses would kill all the ethnic groups Drax deems to be ”lesser”. The globes are to be sent up in smaller batches in several rockets. The rockets are aimed at Britain, central Europe and North America.
Bond and Goodhead are tied up under the first rocket’s blast area to die, but they escape  before the rocket engine iginites using Bond’s gadget wrist watch.

UK has gathered military forces allready in the country for a NATO excersise and now they attack in waves. First SBS frogmen from minisubs attack from the sea and SAS commandoes attack on skis and by parashutes throwing themselves from the edge of the mountain above the base.
The hidden defences of the rocket base are revealed. Machine gun nests facing the the beach. AA batteries hidden in mock houses etc. Bond  sneaks around the base, fighting the defences from within.
Bond and Goodhead manage to steal the antidote of the virus. Drax and his mercenaries manage to hold off the attackers in a small area around the launch pad and are about to start the next rocket heading for London. Jango makes the rocket and the feul depot explode, killing Drax’s men. The next wave of attack are Royal Marines in beach landing crafts and helicoptres. Bond and Goodhead celebrate by hijacking Draxes luxury jumbo jet.

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Very good  ajb007/smile

1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

broadshoulder wrote:

I wouldn't. He was too old. I do wish fans would give up this hope as Brosnan in Casino Royale. With Craig we got an actor who inhabited the character. We got the full set of emotions.

If it was Brosnan....yeuch

Listen, this is very harsh but Brosnan got the films which suited his Bond. Light flimsy things with invisible cars. They suited his Bond to a tee...

Brosnan is capable of so much more than what he did as Bond. Have you seen The Fourth Protocol or Butterfly on a Wheel? He plays characters very different from his Bond, and he does them so much better. How was Brosnan too old?

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

At the time of Casino Royale

Pierce was 54

Daniel was 36

Bit of a difference.

1. For Your Eyes Only      2. The Living Daylights    3 From Russia with Love  4. Casino Royale  5. OHMSS  6. Skyfall

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

broadshoulder wrote:

At the time of Casino Royale

Pierce was 54

Daniel was 36

Bit of a difference.

Sure, a big age difference. But if they did a stricter adaptation of the novel without all the pointless action scenes in the first half, I'll repeat my question: How was Brosnan too old?

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Matt S wrote:
broadshoulder wrote:

At the time of Casino Royale

Pierce was 54

Daniel was 36

Bit of a difference.

Sure, a big age difference. But if they did a stricter adaptation of the novel without all the pointless action scenes in the first half, I'll repeat my question: How was Brosnan too old?

Twenty years? Craig was the perfect age - Brosnan was approaching the hill...

1. For Your Eyes Only      2. The Living Daylights    3 From Russia with Love  4. Casino Royale  5. OHMSS  6. Skyfall

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

broadshoulder wrote:
Matt S wrote:
broadshoulder wrote:

At the time of Casino Royale

Pierce was 54

Daniel was 36

Bit of a difference.

Sure, a big age difference. But if they did a stricter adaptation of the novel without all the pointless action scenes in the first half, I'll repeat my question: How was Brosnan too old?

Twenty years? Craig was the perfect age - Brosnan was approaching the hill...

Actually, a 15 year difference. Craig was 38 and Brosnan was 53 in 2006. Roger Moore was great in FYEO at 53, and Brosnan was still in great shape last year in The November Man (even though it was a pretty bad film). So you still don't have a reason?

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Re: Pitch a Bond Film for Any Era

Matt S wrote:
broadshoulder wrote:
Matt S wrote:

Sure, a big age difference. But if they did a stricter adaptation of the novel without all the pointless action scenes in the first half, I'll repeat my question: How was Brosnan too old?

Twenty years? Craig was the perfect age - Brosnan was approaching the hill...

Actually, a 15 year difference. Craig was 38 and Brosnan was 53 in 2006. Roger Moore was great in FYEO at 53, and Brosnan was still in great shape last year in The November Man (even though it was a pretty bad film). So you still don't have a reason?

Oh dear oh dear....someone just not reading my answers correctly...

The difference between 38 (still young) and 53 (too old) is obvious. He couldn't play the young spy anymore. He was stuck playing roues. 15 years is a long time in Hollywood. People can play a rookie or an old geezer?

Hows this? Can you understand that? Do you want it spelt out to you? Brosnan was too old

....and got sacked.

1. For Your Eyes Only      2. The Living Daylights    3 From Russia with Love  4. Casino Royale  5. OHMSS  6. Skyfall